Still Here
by starvingstudent
Summary: She may have lost faith in the world, but never in him...' Sequel to 'WHAT I'M HERE FOR.' MerDer wedding.
1. PROLOGUE

_**AN: I'm so happy to finally be posting this fic! I'm not quite as far in my writing as I wanted to be, but I'm pretty confident I'm not forgetting anything. This is just the prologue, so it's very short, but I promise to have the first chapter up this weekend, and it is much longer... I hope everyone who read What I'm Here For is still interested in the sequel after all this time! **_

_**Summary: This is the sequel to my first Grey's fic What I'm Here For, though its likely not imperative to read it first, I would recommend it, as it will catch you up on Derek's family and a number of inside jokes and such that may come up. This fic starts off about seven months after What I'm Here For, and takes place in a much shorter time frame. There will be fewer chapters, but they will all be long (except for this one...). I'm taking the opportunity to do something different and fun for me; a, hopefully, interesting plot and a slightly new style. **_

_**Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Grey's Anatomy, but am simply borrowing the characters and I promise to return them safely.**_

**PROLOGUE**

'_In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.'_

_-- Shing Xiong_

**Some time in the near future...**

Meredith leaned against the wrought iron railing running along the top of the balcony wall, staring out at the peaceful scene of the scattered trees in the dim light of the setting sun. She sighed contentedly. Though it had barely been twenty-four hours, the welcome new sense of calm felt comfortingly familiar; akin to something that had always and would always be there. Something she would never give up.

A light breeze picked up across the meadow, rustling the grass and the trees before sweeping by her leaning form, blowing her hair around her face. She shivered involuntarily, and wrapped her arms tighter around herself as protection from the cooling evening temperature.

There was a light rustling behind her, and strong arms wrapped around her lower torso, pulling her to an equally strong chest. And suddenly she wasn't cold anymore. She doubted she would ever be cold again.

Her hands found his, and she smiled at the faint clinking sound generated from the contact. His grip tightened.

"You lied to me," she whispered.

"When?"

"You told me it wouldn't change anything, that it was only really a formality since we already live together."

His chin dipped to the hollow between her neck and her shoulder. "What did it change?"

She shifted her weight, so that she was leaning back against him, instead of forward against the railing. "Everything."

"How?"

"I feel different. I can't explain it, but it's there."

"In a good way?"

She tightened her grip on his fingers and nodded. "In a very good way. It feels amazing, and perfect, and...right."

"I know the feeling."

She smiled and turned in his arms, leaning back against his grip as she hooked her hands behind his neck. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he responded reverently as he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.

"It's like all the crap we've been through just doesn't matter anymore."

He nodded. "If it had been easy, it wouldn't have been worth it."

She sighed, and only hesitated a moment before continuing. "Did it feel like this last time?"

He gently shook his head. "Not even close." There was no hint of deception or exaggeration in his expression. "I've never felt like this before."

"Me neither."

His eyes crinkled as he smiled tenderly at her. "I love you," he said simply.

"I love you, too," she responded in the same manner, because it really was simple. She loved him. He loved her. "I'm glad we went for it. I'm glad we didn't wait."

"Me too, Mrs. Shepherd."

She couldn't help the beaming smile that came unbidden to her lips. "That's Dr. Shepherd, to you."

He laughed, his hands moving down her body to scoop her into his arms.

"Derek," she laughed. "What are you doing?"

He turned and manoeuvred them through the door and into the suite. "I'm going to show my _wife_ how much she means to me." He gently lay her down on the bed they had already made good use of, and slowly lowered himself down over top of her.

"Derek," she spoke as his lips hovered inches above hers. "I like being your wife." Her heart skipped a beat at the smile that took over his lips.

"Good," he murmured. "Cause, I'm never giving you up."

Her heart skipped another beat. "And Derek, I really like you being my husband."

He kissed her quickly, and pulled back for a moment. "Me too." He smiled. "Now, let's make you like it even more."

This time when his lips met hers, there were no more interruptions...


	2. HOME

**HOME**

'_Home is not where you live, but where you are understood.'  
__-- Christian Morgenstern_

**- Saturday -**

It was dark when Meredith blinked groggily at the feeling of a hand gently shaking her awake from her napping spot in the passenger seat of the silver Explorer.

"We're here," Derek's soft voice penetrated her muddled conscious. She yawned and met his worried eyes. "Are you okay?"

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Sorry I fell asleep. I didn't mean to."

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. You obviously needed it." He smirked. "Though one day I may want you to drive from the airport, so eventually you'll have to stay awake to see the turns..."

Meredith laughed. This was her second trip to New York with Derek. And the second time she had slept from the moment they left the airport. "Next time." She promised.

He scoffed and leaned across the center consol to kiss her. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I've been..." she trailed off and sighed, "Weird. It's not that I don't want to be here. It's just..."

"Last time wasn't a one time thing," Derek stated gently when she didn't continue.

Meredith smiled. He had, of course, nailed her issues right on. Seven months ago she had come to New York afraid, and had found a family. And when she had left, there hadn't been a doubt in her mind that she would be welcome the next time. But right now, seven months later, she wasn't nearly as certain. She had kept in touch with Carol and all of Derek's sisters, but there was still a nagging voice in her head that told her she wasn't enough.

"Get out of the car," Derek commanded firmly, reaching to release her seatbelt.

She swallowed. "Why?"

"Cause you obviously need a hug, and I can't reach you from here."

Meredith smiled and nodded as she opened her door. They had requested a smaller car, but the Explorer was the only vehicle available.

She stepped out onto the asphalt driveway and stretched her limbs before Derek met her on her side of the car, his arms enveloping her in a tight embrace. And for several minutes he just held her, staying silent, knowing there was nothing he could say.

Meredith closed her eyes and buried her face in his shoulder, breathing in his comforting scent as she calmed; her anxiety dissipating into the air, pushed out of her by the feeling of being loved. He was rubbing her back with his palm, and she allowed herself to be lulled by the tender contact. It never ceased to amaze her how strong their relationship had become. She may have lost faith in people and the world in general, but she had never lost faith in him; in them. He hadn't let her. He had been her rock. And he had never allowed her to feel guilty for the things she couldn't handle.

"I love you," Meredith spoke quietly, breaking the silence.

"Mmm," he mumbled as he pressed his lips against hers. "I love you too."

She sighed and met his knowing look. "And I know I have nothing to worry about."

He nodded.

"And that your family likes me, and everything will be fine this week."

He nodded again, a laughing smile appearing on his lips.

"What?"

He laughed. "Nothing. It's just...you've stolen my job. You know all the right things to say."

She smiled. "Sorry I stole your job. But believe me, even without saying the words, you just being here is extremely effective."

"So you still need me?" He asked lightly, a hint of playfulness in his tone as he tilted his head.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Always."

"Good." He kissed her again.

She made an exasperated noise when he pulled away. "This is stupid. I don't even know why I'm scared."

"It's not stupid if it's how you feel."

She glared at him. "You're annoyingly calm and rational, have I ever told you that?"

He laughed. "Only a few times..."

She sighed and leaned into his warmth again, her arms looping around his neck.

"Okay," Derek said gently. "I know you know this, but I'm going to remind you anyway. They don't want to be your family because they have to. They want to be your family because they choose to. It's not the same as..." He trailed off and they both knew what he was omitting.

She buried her face in his shoulder. "I know. I know it's not the same." Her body shuddered involuntarily.

He gave her a moment to collect herself and pulled away far enough to meet her eyes. "You do know that they would never...?"

She took a shaky breath. "I'm trying to. Most of me does; but there's that little voice in the back of my head that always seems to think it's possible..."

He furrowed his brow. "Mer, you do know that _I _would never-"

She cut him off by nodding. "I do know, Derek. The voice is smart enough to stay away from you." She smiled, knowing he would understand her words. He always did, no matter how obscure and rambly they were. "And to be honest, it stays away from my friends. But to anyone who I could be an obligation or whatever... I just..."

"Hey," he said gently, cupping her face as her eyes glistened with unshed tears. "I hate more than anything that you're afraid. And I know that only time can fix it. But Meredith, you are not an obligation to the people in this house." He motioned his head towards the warm, inviting house with the lit up windows, where his entire family was waiting. "They didn't have to like you. You were my _dirty-mistress-slash-slutty-intern_," he said lightly, all the while rolling his eyes as he used the terms he hated for her.

Meredith laughed. "Don't forget adulterous whore."

Derek visibly flinched, even though he was still smiling. "I'm not calling you that. I gave you the other two." He shook his head. "And I hate all of them."

She couldn't help but smile at his insistence.

"The point is," he continued. "They could have chosen to side against you quite easily. But you won them over in a few days. They _like_ you, Meredith. There's no obligation in their minds."

"You promise?"

He nodded. "I do."

She closed her eyes and smiled as he pressed his forehead against hers. She breathed deeply three times, and on the fourth she opened her eyes and pulled away, moving to stand on her own two feet again. It was nice to be able to let him support her every once in a while; it made her feel stronger when she was standing on her own. And it was even better that she wasn't afraid to do so anymore. He would always be there for her. She was sure of it.

"You good?" He asked gently.

She nodded and offered him a smile. "Yeah. I am."

He pressed his lips against hers for several seconds.

"I'm glad we're here," she told him after he pulled away. "I know I'm doing the Meredith thing and being nervous for no reason, but I am glad to be here."

"Good," he said softly. "I want you to be comfortable here. I want you to feel at home."

"You're here," she told him quietly. "That makes it home."

Hi face lit up at her words. "Good."

With one last deep breath Meredith motioned that she was okay and they moved together to unload their suitcases. He shut the back hatch of the Explorer and smiled warmly at her before leading the way through the maze of cars towards the front door.

000

"You're finally here!" Carol's excited voice called as she hurried into the front hall. The rest of the family, including Mark, had arrived between Thursday night and Friday afternoon, but taking nearly two weeks off was too much for a second year resident, so Meredith had been forced to work until late Friday, leaving her and Derek as the last to arrive Saturday night.

"Hi, mom," Derek greeted as she pulled him into a tight hug. "How does it feel to be sixty-five?"

She scoffed and jokingly swatted at her son. "I'm still only sixty-four, Derek."

"Yeah," Anna spoke as she joined her mother into the front hall. "Sixty-four years, three-hundred and sixty-four days..." She trailed off as she glanced downwards at her watch, "...Twenty-two hours and thirteen minutes."

Carol huffed, but ignored her daughter as she released her son and stepped towards Meredith. "Meredith, dear, good to see you."

"You too, Carol," Meredith responded as the woman hugged her tightly, and Meredith hugged back, her earlier nervousness dissipating at the reminder of the maternal hug, and she felt her guard drop a level. Derek had a wonderful family. And they liked her.

"Okay, let's see it," Carol spoke as she released Meredith and reached for her left hand, and held it up in the light. "Oh, it's beautiful, dear," she said as she gazed approvingly at the engagement ring Derek had chosen for her. A single round diamond was the focal point, flanked on both sides by a small, lavender-purple diamond set into the platinum band. Meredith absolutely loved it, and if it wasn't for surgery, she would never take it off.

"It had to be beautiful," Derek stated as he pulled away from his sister. "Or it would have gotten lost on her."

Meredith rolled her eyes as Derek leaned close and kissed her cheek, his hand snaking around her waist.

Carol laughed. "You sound like your father. He used to say things like that." There was a hint of sadness in her voice, but mostly pride for her son. She turned back to Meredith and released her hand. "Congratulations in person, dear. I couldn't be more thrilled."

"Thanks," Meredith answered softly. "And...me neither."

Carol smiled warmly and stepped away, allowing her youngest daughter to step in to greet her future sister-in-law.

"Good to see you, Mer," Anna greeted as she hugged her. She was the only member of the Shepherd family to have seen the ring already. Meredith had been surprised to bump into Derek's sister at a surgical conference almost two months prior.

"Well, what are you waiting for," Carol ushered them towards the hallway to their left, towards the living room. "Come on in."

Meredith smiled and followed Derek into the busy household. Derek stepped out to greet his family, but Meredith was immediately swarmed by the three sisters who hadn't seen the ring yet. Although they had been engaged for six months, neither side of the family had been able to travel to the other side of the country to see each other.

Meredith laughed as she was enveloped into a seeming group hug with Kathleen, Nancy and Natalie, all of whom she had spoken to on the phone numerous times, and all of whom were thrilled she was marrying their brother. She glanced over their shoulders as they gushed at her ring, and spotted Derek and his brothers-in-law, and Mark, shaking their heads at the female reaction. There would have been a time in her life that she would have been embarrassed by this, but right now, she didn't care. Right now she was remembering what it was like to have a family.

When the girls finally cleared, the men stepped in to offer their greetings and congratulations.

"It's nice to finally meet you," the only unfamiliar man in the room greeted as he offered his hand.

"You must be Phil," Meredith said as she shook his hand. She had met Derek's year and a half older sister, Natalie, in early August when she, Anna and Carol had visited Seattle. However, when she and Derek had travelled to New York for Thanksgiving, Natalie and her husband, Phil, hadn't been there. "I'm sorry to hear about your mother," she said quietly. His mother had been sick for some time and had passed away shortly into the New Year.

"Thank-you," he responded evenly. "Though I hear we have that in common, so I'm sorry too."

"Thanks."

"However, I hear you were a Big Greener? It'll be nice to have some fellow alumni in this household."

Meredith laughed. Kathleen had told her that Phil had also received his medical degree from Dartmouth. And if she remembered correctly, he was a GP, and the only brother-in-law with a med degree. All four of Derek's sisters were doctors. The oldest sister, Kathleen, was a psychiatrist, followed by Nancy in OB. Natalie worked in paediatrics. Anna was a general surgeon. And, of course, Derek and Mark were also surgeons. Needless to say, the Shepherd family had spent a lot of combined years in post secondary education. And spent a lot of years paying back student loans.

"Okay, sit, please, let's all sit," Carol spoke loudly, motioning towards the large sitting area, consisting of a large L-shaped couch, a short sofa and two arm chairs. An extra couch had been moved up from the smaller seating area by the front windows to comfortably accommodate everyone. Meredith smiled at Carol's sudden exuberance and allowed herself to be 'shepherded' to the middle of the long arm of the L-shaped couch, smiling when Derek plopped himself down beside her.

It wasn't until all except Carol were seated that Meredith realized she and Derek seemed to be seated centrally, and that everyone was smiling towards them. She swallowed and shifted her gaze around the room. Yup, everyone was definitely staring. And they seemed to be staring at her more than Derek. "I,uh..." she mumbled, but no words formed.

Carol moved and picked up a package from behind the far chair.

Meredith gulped as she suddenly realized what was about to happen.

Carol moved toward them and placed the large, flat, neatly wrapped object in her lap. "We have something for you," she stated simply and backed away.

"But, I...no." Meredith shook her head, refusing to touch the white tissue paper surrounding the mystery object. "No," she repeated. "I can't... It's _your_ birthday."

"It's not my birthday for another hour yet."

"But..."

"Meredith, dear, just think of it as a belated Christmas present. It took longer to find then I expected, definitely not in time for Christmas."

Meredith swallowed as her throat went dry. Taking time to find meant it was something important, and she didn't want them to think she needed that kind of thing, or expected it, or even wanted it.

"Come on, open it," Anna's husband, Spencer, exclaimed. "Honestly, we all already know what it is, so not opening it is only keeping you in the dark. And even if it wasn't as good as what I tried to give you..." He trailed off and glared jokingly at his mother in law, who rolled her eyes, "It's still the thought that counts."

Meredith exhaled and glanced at Derek, who met her eyes with a shrug. He was clearly the only other person in the room who didn't know what was under the tissue. "Okay," she finally relented, her fingers cautiously landing on the thin tissue. She felt her cheeks blush under the eyes of so many people as she slid her nails under the scotch tape and pulled open the sheets of tissue to reveal the back of a frame.

Derek had closed his arm around her middle and was leaning close, obviously just as curious as her to the contents of her gift. With shaking hands, Meredith lifted the frame and flipped it over.

She gasped as she recognized herself in the photograph, two years prior, swathed in black and green robes. Her hand came unbidden to her mouth as her eyes watered. She sniffed and glanced above the frame to Carol's beaming face.

"How did you..?"

Carol smiled. "Well, it wasn't easy, but it's like Simon said, if I want a picture, I'll get. No matter what."

"Thank-you," Meredith practically whispered. When Derek had brought her to New York the first time, Carol had requested a graduation photo to hang on her living room wall. A large section of the living room was designated the 'graduation wall' and hosted the most recent graduation photographs of her four daughters, their husbands, and Derek and Mark. And she had wanted one of Meredith.

_Carol nodded, and glanced at the grad wall again. "Oh, that reminds me," she turned towards Meredith with a smile. "Meredith, I'm going to need a picture from you medical school graduation."_

_Meredith blinked. "W-why?"_

_"To put on my wall, of course," she told her as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. _

_Meredith blinked again. Carol, Derek's mother, wanted a picture of her, Meredith, Derek's lowly girlfriend. To put on her wall. She actually wanted to have a picture of Meredith on the wall along with her children. Meredith glanced over at the empty space beside Derek's frame and realization hit that Carol hadn't waited until now to take down Addison's photo. She had purposely kept the space open. For Meredith. She swallowed. Hard. "I, uh, don't have any photos," she whispered as her mind whirled to process what was happening._

_"You can't say that," Simon spoke up. "If Carol wants a picture, she'll get it, no matter how bad you think it is. Spencer told her he didn't have any, but she called his parents and had them courier it here." He laughed. _

_Meredith smiled. "I'm sorry, but I really don't have one. I thought the professional photo thing ahead of time was stupid and...there was no one at my graduation from med school." She shrugged._

_Carol paused, but apparently took Meredith's words for what they were. "That's okay, dear, I can live with your college photo."_

_Meredith shook her head. "Sorry, I don't have one of those either. My mother and I weren't exactly on speaking terms." She swallowed._

_Carol looked sympathetically at her. "High school?"_

_Another head shake. "She, uh, was going to come, but got caught up at work." Meredith could remember taking her diploma and looking out over the crowd, in hopes that her mother had just arrived late, but there was no sign of Ellis Grey in the crowd of proud parents. _

"_Well, I'm sure we'll figure something out," Carol spoke._

_She shook her head. "Really, don't worry about it. You don't... I don't...there doesn't need to be a picture."_

_"Nonsense," Carol said with a wave of her hand. "I have a picture of everyone else. There will be one of you."_

The framed photograph in her hands was not one Meredith had been aware was taken. The thought had crossed her more than once to simply skip the ceremony altogether, not wanting to be the only graduate without anyone in the audience. But as the day grew closer, Meredith found herself unable to stay away. She had spent four years to get to this day; four long years spent alone, taking care of her ailing mother. She wasn't going to let her feelings get in the way of that.

_The ceremony had been long, and she had been thankful to be closer to the middle than the beginning in the name call, as the pause while each individual family took photos and held up the line made her eyes water. She focussed on herself as she finally heard her own name, for the first time said with the important title before it, and stepped onto the stage, ignoring the slight hush at the realization that she was The Ellis Grey's daughter. _

_She took her degree and shook all of the hands of the alumni on stage, ignoring the 'Too bad your mother couldn't make it' and 'I'm sure your mother is proud' comments. Once she had retaken her seat, the ceremony seemed to speed by. Afterwards, there was a reception for the graduates and their families, and Meredith had told herself she was only going for a bite to eat, but once she had entered, she wandered through the groups of people, always pretending to be heading somewhere, but secretly revelling in the happiness and relief of the room. If she paused and closed her eyes, she could pretend for just a moment that someone was proud of her too. _

_And as the families began to leave, off to their private celebrations, Meredith found herself still wandering the reception hall, lost in thought. She had spent four years at this school, and in less than a week, she would be on a plane to Seattle, the city she had lived in for the first five years of her life. The city her father still lived in. To work in the hospital her mother used to work in. She wondered if she would remember much from her childhood being back there, or if she would meet her father and find a place in his life again. She wondered if she would survive her internship. She wasn't particularly looking forward to it. She wanted to be a surgeon, there was no doubt in her mind, but more than anything, she _

_didn't want to be alone anymore. Though she had plenty of friends here at school, there were none that she would stay in touch with. They weren't those kinds of friends. _

_Meeting people hadn't been so bad in med school, at first. It had been a few months before the name Ellis Grey had come up in class. And it hadn't been until a particularly annoying professor had taken it upon himself to mention in class that Meredith was her daughter that anyone had known. But she knew her internship would be different. She knew she would be recognized from day one by who her mother was. She would gladly trade her name for anonymity. She would gladly trade her name to not be alone anymore. _

_The reception hall was nearly empty, only a few straggling families still hanging around. Meredith approached the large DARTMOUTH MEDICAL SCHOOL CONGRATULATES THEIR GRADUATING CLASS banner and smiled at the hope it instilled in her. She could start over in Seattle. She could find a way to not be alone anymore. A smile fluttered to her face as she nodded to herself. It may be slim, but there was a chance she would find happiness in Seattle. And if there was a chance, she wasn't going to give up that hope. She turned to leave and paused for just a moment, taking a deep breath as she realized there was a new life awaiting her. She smiled, clutching her rolled degree to her chest. _

And that important moment in her life was immortalized right in front of her, blown up and framed. She couldn't help the tears that overflowed her lower lids, even as she wished she could arrive at this house and not be in tears within the first hour. "I don't even..." She trailed off and glanced up again to meet Carol's eyes. And surprisingly, the older woman looked near tears as well. "I don't even know what to say," she choked out as Derek's arm tightened around her waist. She regarded Carol through blurry eyes. "Thank-you."

"You're very welcome, dear. If you managed to get through medical school, you deserve a picture."

"How did you get it?" Derek spoke up, as Meredith was having trouble forming words.

"I contacted the school, asked if they had a photographer in, which they did. That part was easy enough, but the company had been sold, so it took a while to track down the guy who had owned it. And then there was some technical stuff that I don't pretend to understand, but Spencer was a big help."

Spencer rolled his eyes at his mother-in-law. "He had to sort through a number of portable hard drives to see if he still had the photos. Fortunately, your graduation year was the last he had done, so he still had them." He smiled. "And then it took a few tries before he sent us the right person. We do have photos of at least three other petite dirty blondes..."

Meredith couldn't help the wave of emotion wash over her as she glanced back down at the photograph. The memories of that moment were suddenly so sharp in her mind. The despair at being alone. The hope for finding happiness in Seattle. And she had. She had amazing friends. She had met a wonderful man, and here she was, across the country with his family, wearing his ring. She had a future.

"He found two pictures of you," Carol continued. "That one, and one during the actual ceremony." She motioned to the wall across the room.

Meredith turned her head and caught sight of a second, framed, photograph of her, on stage, degree in hand, shaking hands with the chancellor, hanging on the wall beside Derek's photo. She hadn't even noticed when she had come in.

"There's a copy of that one along with yours, tucked in behind it to keep safe," Carol added.

"I can't believe you did this," Meredith spoke quietly, her eyes welling with tears as her throat constricted. "No one has ever..." Her voice hitched.

"It was important, dear," Carol comforted as she stepped forward.

"Thank-you," Meredith whispered as she stood, and Carol pulled her into a warm hug.

"You deserve it, dear. You're a very important part of this family now. And this is what families do for each other."

Meredith nodded against the older woman's shoulder. She had really only met Carol twice before, and she had somehow ended up crying at least once both times, and now a third time. And she had been in the house for less than an hour. She still had another ten days to go. But Carol, and the Shepherds in general, had a certain quality to them that made Meredith feel like it was okay to break down. She didn't feel embarrassed or not good enough. She felt accepted.

Meredith took a breath and stepped back, smiling at her future mother-in-law. "Thanks," she said again, although her tone said she wasn't just saying it for the photo.

"You are most welcome, dear."

Meredith turned to Spencer, who was seated on the short couch with his wife, Anna. "Thank-you, too."

Spencer smiled and stood, pulling her into friendly hug. "Anything for my MVP."

Meredith laughed. When she and Derek had spent Thanksgiving in New York, she had ended up playing touch football on Spencer's team. And, according to Spencer, she was a good player. She had learned from Derek afterwards that Spencer had played football in college for a few years.

"Though," Spencer continued. "I did photoshop one for you first, but Carol wouldn't go for it..." Spencer had failed to graduate from college, and Carol had taken it upon herself to contact his parents for a high school graduation photo. In response, Spencer had photoshoppped himself into a medical school graduation, complete with a crown. Carol hadn't been thrilled, and her reaction was legendary. It was one of the first things Meredith had been told on their previous visit.

"I'm sure it was wonderful."

He laughed and pulled away to re-take his seat. "It was."

Meredith sat back down beside Derek, smiling when he wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek. She leaned into his comforting warmth and laid her hand on his knee.

The topic of the room shifted away from her, as the family waited for the minute hand on the wall clock to reach the top, signifying their oldest member was sixty-five.

000

Derek revelled in the feeling of being back in the same room as his family. Although he had been away for over a year and a half the first time, he had never felt much in the sense of missing them. But after spending Thanksgiving with them only seven months prior, he couldn't wait until his mother's birthday. He loved Seattle and had no plans to leave it, but he did miss his family. And their previous visit had been so short; he was glad they were here for ten days this time.

He had never really realized just how good he had it in the family department until he had brought Meredith to New York to meet them. Watching her interact with his mother and sisters had been astounding. He had expected for her to feel uneasy, and she had started off feeling out of sorts on Tuesday evening, but by Thursday she had found her spot in the family. The Shepherds had gone out of their way to accept her, make her feel at home and coax her out of her shell.

And today; spending months searching for a graduation picture from two years prior was just another example of how amazing his family was. There weren't many in the world that would do that.

He smiled as Meredith laughed at something his sister said, and then countered the response by his brother-in-law. And when he fought back, she didn't back down. She was comfortable here, with his family, evidently proving Dean wrong in something. She often, jokingly, said she was always right, but in actual fact he had to admit she almost always was, though he would never admit that to her.

Dean made a mistake and back tracked on something he had said, and Meredith had the room's support as she called him on it. Derek laughed as his brother-in-law conceded, causing a cheer to erupt from the females of the room. She definitely fit in. He tightened his grip around her waist and smiled as his mind wandered back to his family's response to their engagement.

_Derek finished dialling the phone number he had memorised in kindergarten and waited patiently as the phone rang several times. It was close to eight out on the east coast, but he knew his mother would be home. It was the evening of the annual Shepherd Christmas party; the Friday before Christmas. He had waited all week to make this phone call, wanting to catch his entire family together for this very special announcement._

_"Hello, Shepherd residence." A breathless voice answered, sounding harried and rushed._

_"Aunt Joyce?" He questioned, vaguely recognizing the voice he hadn't heard for two years._

_"Is this Derek?" _

_"Of course. Do you still remember me?" He asked jokingly._

_She laughed. "Of course I remember my favourite nephew." There were three Maloney sisters. Carol had one son. Joyce had two. Alice didn't have any. Though, they all had lots of daughters. Derek was Joyce's only nephew; and favourite by default. "How are you doing?"_

_"I'm doing well." He smiled. "Really well."_

_"That's so good to hear, Derek. I was so sorry to hear about everything that happened between you and Addy."_

_"It was for the best." He said simply. "I'm happy now."_

_"I'm glad. And I hear you have a new girl in your life; Mary-Beth?"_

_"Meredith," he corrected gently, a smile appearing on his lips at the simple act of speaking her name. He'd been doing that all week._

_"Oh, that's right. I was close. How is that going?"_

_He smirked. "Really good."_

_"That's so nice to hear, dear. And it's very nice to speak with you, but your mother is hovering, so I'll pass her the phone."_

_Derek laughed, knowing his mother would be demanding to speak to him. "It's nice to talk to you, Aunt Joyce."_

_"You too, Derek. Here's your mom."_

_There was a clunk and a hiss of static as the phone was passed between the sisters. "Derek," his mother's familiar voice greeted warmly. "What a nice surprise to hear from you."_

_Derek snorted. "Mom, I told you I was going to call tonight." He rolled his eyes. "How's your party?"_

_"Oh, it's wonderful, as usual. Your aunt and uncle and most of your cousins are here. And all of your sisters, of course."_

_He sighed. "I'm sorry I can't be there, mom. We'll try and make it next year."_

_"It's okay, dear. You were here for Thanksgiving. And, are you still planning on making it for my birthday?"_

_"Of course. We've already booked time off."_

_"I'm so looking forward to having my whole family together again."_

_"Me too, mom."_

_"Is Meredith there?"_

_"No, she's stuck in surgery, but she wanted to be here." He was disappointed Meredith wasn't there to have the chance to hear experience their reaction, but she had told him to do it anyway if she wasn't out of surgery. And she still had hours left now. If he waited too long, it would be too late on the west coast._

_"Well, tell her we all send our love."_

_Derek smiled. "I will."_

_"Are you two doing well?"_

_"Really well," he answered easily. "I, uh, actually have some news."_

_Expectant silence met him on the other end of the line._

_Derek breathed, a wide smile taking over his features. "I asked her to marry me."_

_Carol gasped. "Derek! I'm so happy for you. Oh, this is so exciting!" There were muffled sounds as his mother announced his engagement to the family. "When did you ask?"_

_"Saturday."_

_"Saturday? Derek Michael Shepherd! You waited almost a week to tell your mother you're getting married?"_

_Derek laughed. "I wanted to wait to tell you when everyone was together."_

_She huffed. "Did you at least do it right?"_

_"Well, I got the answer I wanted, so I assume I did it right," he responded sarcastically._

_Carol clicked her tongue. "You know that's not what I meant, Derek. Did you make it special?"_

_"I think so. It was definitely a surprise."_

_"Good." There was another moment of muffled voices her couldn't make out through the phone line. "Your sisters are pressuring me to pass the phone. They want to offer their congratulations."_

_"Okay, mom. It's good to talk to you. I'll call on Thursday to wish you a Merry Christmas."_

_"I look forward to it. And I'll want to speak to my new daughter-in-law."_

_Derek smiled. "I'll wait until she's free." They were both working Christmas._

_"I love you, Derek. And I'm so happy for you."_

_"I love you too, mom."_

_He spent the next twenty minutes being passed between his sisters, brothers-in-law, nephews, nieces and cousins. He didn't stop smiling the entire time. _

The clock struck midnight, creating an uproar of _Happy Birthday's_ and _Congratulations_ and _How does it feel to be sixty-five?_ Carol took it all in stride, hugging each of her eleven children and children-in-law.

"Happy Birthday, mom," Derek told her when it was his turn. He hugged her tightly.

"Thank-you, Derek." She hugged him back. "I'm so glad you two could make it."

"We wouldn't have missed it."

She pulled back and regarded him proudly for several seconds before releasing him and pulling Meredith into a hug, where Meredith offered her own well wishes.

It didn't take long for the family to start heading for their respective bedrooms. It was late, and the following day was going to be long and busy. Derek and Meredith backtracked through the front hall for their suitcases and made their way up the back staircase. The house was large, three full levels, with stairs from basement to ground to top floor at both ends. The front door and hall was situated right of center, with the side facing garage as the only main room to its right. To its left was the large living room, and through it a hallway to a bedroom, den, office and stairs. Through the back of the living room were a dining room and a large kitchen, which jutted out from the back of the house. Downstairs was a second living room and a large play area for the kids, plus a few bedrooms. Upstairs were a number of bedrooms. Mark had a room in the basement. Nancy's was on the ground floor. And the rest of the adults and younger kids slept upstairs. The older kids slept in the basement.

Derek reached the landing and made his way towards his door. His room was situated at the quiet end of the house, which had kept him away from his sisters growing up. He pushed open the door, and smiled as he motioned for Meredith to enter first, and then he stepped in behind her. It was a large room, complete with an on-suite bathroom. Most of his high school furniture had been replaced when he had moved out, but many of his personal things were still present; a few knick-knacks and his graduation photos that preceded his medical degree; elementary school, high school and undergraduate.

He smiled as Meredith carefully set her new prized photograph down on the dresser. "I still can't believe they did that," she spoke softly, shaking her head.

Derek set down his suitcase and wrapped his arms around her. "Me either, but that's what they do." He pressed his lips against her forehead.

She sighed and relaxed in his arms. "I love you, Derek."

He smiled. "I love you more."

She scoffed. "Not true." It had been their joke for almost a year now, to claim they loved the other more.

"Is so true." He captured her lips with his and kissed her until he had lost his breath.

Her eyes were hazy when he pulled away, and she pecked him with swollen lips before leaning her forehead against his. "I still love you more."

He laughed at her tenacity.

"You thought that kissing me would make me forget?"

"Maybe," he admitted. "But it was worth it anyway."

"Hmm," she mumbled as she leaned her head against his shoulder and they swayed back and forth together. "This is nice."

"Yeah." He rubbed his hand along her spine and kissed her shoulder. "You feeling better?"

She nodded against him. "Much. I knew it was stupid to be nervous, but..."

"You're entitled to be apprehensive," he told her. "But I'm glad you're getting over it."

"I'm sorry, Derek," she whispered after several moments of silence.

He furrowed his brow. "For what?"

She pulled back far enough to meet his eyes. "I didn't think I could handle this, and...after everything, I just..." Her voice cracked. "I'm sorry I called everything off. I'm sorry I was too scared to listen to you."

He sighed heavily. "Meredith, you don't owe me an apology."

"But-"

He shushed her gently. "I love you, and as I said before, we both have to be ready. I can wait."

She bit her lower lip. "I don't want to make you wait too long..."

He shook his head firmly, knowing exactly what she was thinking. "There's no such thing as too long, Meredith. I'll wait forever." She avoided his eyes and he gently forced her gaze back to his. "I love you," he repeated. "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm not walking away from this, from you. Not ever."

She nodded and inhaled a shaky breath. "Okay."

He kissed her forehead. Her insecure moments with him had all but vanished, and when they did pop up, she was much easier to comfort now. They had come a long way since they had gotten back 

together and subsequently forgotten how to talk. After a few months, they had been forced to buckle down and learn how to communicate, or give up and learn to live without each other. And that wasn't something Derek ever wanted to do.

"I'm going to have a quick shower before bed," he spoke quietly. "Did you want to go first, or are you just going to go to sleep?"

She smirked and pretended to consider his question. "Well," she practically purred. "If I went first, would you join me?"

He felt his heart rate increase at her words. "What, no sex-ban this time?" He raised an eyebrow. The last time they had been here, she had demanded they not have sex while they were visiting, in fear of being caught. Her resolve had lasted an impressive forty-eight hours. And for the next three days, they had broken her rule five times.

She laughed. "What happened to rules are meant to be broken?"

He groaned and pressed his lips against hers. Her hands found their way to his hair, where her fingers curled around his locks and held on tightly. He ran his hands down, along her sides to her back, and then down, down, down further.

She moaned into his mouth and in a relatively coordinated move, she jumped upwards, while he caught her weight and lifted her to him. She wrapped her strong legs around his waist while he closed his arms securely around her. And without breaking the kiss, Derek turned and blindly headed for the bathroom.

_Out of the dreariness,  
Into its cheeriness,  
Come we in weariness,  
Home.  
-- Stephen Chalmers_

_**AN: I actually found the Dartmouth medical school website to find theirs colours (green and black). And I discovered their sports teams are known as the 'big green' ... So, yeah. I don't really know if that means as a whole they are the big green, or that they come from the big green, or if each member is a big green...So, if you were confused by Phil's comment, so was I...lol. Thanks for reading! **_


	3. CAKE

**CAKE**

'_Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's learning to dance in the rain.'_

_-- Anon._

**- Sunday -**

_Derek awoke to a pressure along his entire torso. He was laying flat on his back, and yawned as he opened his eyes. Piercing green-grey ones stared back at him. She was lying on top of him, her dirty blonde locks dishevelled and hanging messily around her face, and her chin propped up in her hands as she stared at him. And yet, in his eyes, she had never looked so beautiful._

"_Are you watching me sleep?" He asked groggily. _

_Her lips curled into a gentle smile and she nodded. "Mmm-hmm."_

_He rolled his eyes and lifted his head to meet her lips for a quick good morning kiss. "Why are you up so early? We have today off."_

"_This morning is special. I want to take advantage of it."_

_His hands found her hips. "And why is it so special?" He asked with a barely concealed grin._

_Meredith rolled her eyes. "Because it's the first morning I get to wake up engaged to you..."_

_His smile exploded onto his face and he couldn't help but kiss her again. When he resettled, his hand came up from her hips to hook around the left hand that was propping up her chin. His fingers found the new addition to her finger and he met her eyes. "I guess it wasn't just a dream..."_

_She laughed. "Nope."_

_"You said yes." He mumbled tenderly, meeting her eyes._

_"Of course I said yes."_

000

Derek awoke to the feel of his fiancée's torso expanding in his arms as she breathed evenly, still lost in her dream world. He blinked before burying his face into the sweet lavender swell of her smooth, silky hair. After falling exhausted into bed the previous evening, or really early that morning, they had barely moved all night. Her naked back was pressed flush against his bare chest, their legs were intertwined and her fingers clutched loosely at his arms. It was his favourite way to wake up. No alarm clock. No hospital calling. Just him and her. And no clothes. And no space between them.

He shifted and stretched his stiff legs down, his shins rubbing against the backs of her heels, and then returned them, pressing between her legs to regain as much surface area contact as he could. She barely reacted to his movement, her fingers tightening just a bit as her breathing shallowed for several breathes before returning to deep, even ones.

Derek lost track of how long he spent holding her while she slept. It exuded a peaceful intimacy that calmed him. She trusted him implicitly when she slept. In their real, awake world she trusted him. But there were still those moments of doubt, no matter how brief and distant between. She would drown in self-doubt and for a painful second, he would see it in her eyes, or feel it in her body, or sense it in her tone. She would doubt him. She wouldn't doubt that he loved her, or that he wanted her, or that he was in this with every ounce of his being, or that he would never hurt her. But she would doubt herself, and whether she deserved him, whether she deserved all that he was offering to her. She would doubt whether she would be able to keep him happy. She would doubt whether he would stay happy, would stay with her.

The realization every time that the people that should have loved her the most had failed her in the worst ways sickened him. And the horrible things she had been subjected to by her so-called parents were things she would carry for the rest of her life. She deserved so much better. And, if she would let him, he was going to prove that happiness did exist, and that she, Meredith Grey, could achieve it.

And when she slept, he gained a hint of what he was determined to one day accomplish.

He loved her. That was an understatement at best. It was deeply seated, interwoven with his sense of self. It was beyond definition. It was the simplest thing about him. There was no questioning it, no wondering when it had started or when it would end. He had gained an understanding of forever with it. He had, and would, love her forever.

When they had first gotten back together, he had been pained by her constant disappointment with her family, and he had wanted to take it all away from her and place her in a situation where the pain wasn't there. But he had been wrong. The pain could be there at any time. They didn't live in a perfect world. Happily ever after didn't exist. Horrible things could happen at any time.

So Derek had changed his strategy. He had, instead of trying to take her away from the pain, learned to experience it with her. They got through things together. When she hurt, he hurt. It was simple. He loved her.

And it had given them stability they hadn't had before. There was no fear they would fall apart if something bad happened. She was no longer apprehensive to share with him the bad times. And it left them with the understanding that nothing could tear them apart. The world could throw what it wanted at them. And they would survive. They would get through the hard times together, and they would live their happily-ever-afters in between. So, when Meredith's life had once again been knocked out from underneath her only a few months prior, she hadn't pulled away. She had not only let him be there for her, but she had welcomed it. She had expected it. And he had been there every moment she needed him.

There was a rustling outside their door as a herd of small children passed by, their feet thumping and voices excited. Derek groaned and rolled back to squint at the wall clock across the room. It was almost ten. And he knew if they didn't get up soon, children would be sent to find them. And he didn't need to be explaining why 'Uncle Derek' and 'Aunt Meredith' slept naked to his young nieces and nephews on his mother's birthday.

"Meredith..." He whispered, kissing the back of her neck several times. "We need to get up."

Her breathing shallowed once more as she mumbled something completely incoherent and gently shook her head.

He smiled and opened his palms to run along her lower torso. She sighed in content, her body relaxing in his arms, but her breathing didn't fall back into its deep rhythm, so he took that as a good sign.

He captured one of her hands in his and squeezed it. "Mer," he prompted.

She mumbled again. "...vacation...," was the only word he managed to understand.

"I know," he commiserated. "But it's mom's birthday."

"She should be sleeping in too, then..." Her voice was throaty and laced with sleep.

He laughed. "True. But with fourteen children in the house, many of who wake up early, trust me, she's already up."

"Fourteen kids...nine other adults...she won't notice we're missing..."

He snorted. She really wasn't a morning person. "But she will. We haven't been here in seven months. She'll notice." He ran his free hand up her side, his fingers expertly applying more weight where her ribs stopped.

She gasped and shifted to capture his hand. "Mean, mean man," she chastised.

He smiled and pressed his lips against the side of her head. "I don't want to get up, either," he explained. "But we have to. Because if we don't, they'll send kids to wake us up, and we're kind of not wearing any clothing..."

She groaned and rolled to face him. "That is _so_ not something I want to deal with."

Derek snorted. "Me either."

"Morning," she whispered as she pressed herself against his chest, her head tucking in right below his chin.

"Good morning," he responded evenly, running his fingers through her dirty blond strands of lavender infused hair. She breathed evenly against him for several moments as he rubbed his palms along her bare back.

"Okay," she finally spoke. "Let's get up."

He kissed her forehead and reluctantly released her from his grasp. She rolled out of bed and turned to face him, doing nothing to cover her naked body in front of him. He smiled as his eyes took in every wonderful curve of smooth skin.

"Do you want to join me in the shower, again?" She asked coyly, raising an eyebrow.

He smirked and rolled out of bed after her. "Why not?" He said nonchalantly, causing her to giggle as she reached for his hand and led him towards the bathroom door.

000

Dressed casually, Derek and Meredith made their way down the stairs to join the fray of excited family members downstairs. Carol's birthday was always a big to-do for the Shepherd family. Her grown up children did their best to make the day special for their strong mother, and her grandchildren drew her pictures and put on small skits together.

"Uncle Derek!" A young voice rang out as a brown haired child raced towards them as soon as they walked through the doorway to the living room. Due to their late arrival the night before, the kids had all been in bed.

"Megan!" He greeted as he scooped his six year old niece into his arms. "I think you've grown a foot since Thanksgiving."

She giggled and wrapped her small arms around his neck. He had always been a favourite in the uncle category, and he liked to think it wasn't just because he sent the best gifts for birthdays and Christmas.

A second child came running out of the kitchen towards them, ever the spitting image of her younger sister. Stephanie was eight, and if she hadn't been six inches taller than Megan, they could have passed for identical twins.

"Uncle Derek, you're here!" She said excitedly as she slammed into him. "Mommy and Daddy wouldn't let me stay up till you got here."

"Me either!" Megan exclaimed, leaning back in Derek's arms, looking completely fathomless, as if she had no idea why she, at six years of age, still had a bedtime. Derek couldn't help but laugh at her expression.

"Aunt Meredith!" Stephanie turned her attention to Meredith, opening her arms.

Meredith, obviously not as comfortable with the children yet as Derek, opted to crouch down to hug the girl, who would one day be her niece, instead of lifting her up like he would do without a second thought.

"Hi, Steph, it's so good to see you again."

Stephanie smiled widely. "Mommy said you were going to marry my uncle Derek."

Derek watched as the expression on Meredith's face softened. "I am. He asked me after we got home last time we were here to visit."

"Can I be the flower girl?" She asked excitedly.

"No, I want to be the flower girl!" Megan shouted, pulling away and forcing Derek to set her down.

"I asked first!" Stephanie shot back.

"But I want it more!" Megan grabbed a hold of Meredith closest hand, her two small, pudgy hands gripping tightly around Meredith's fingers. She stuck out her lower lip and her eyes transformed into the dreaded expression that only a young child could effectively pull off. "Please, Aunt Meredith?" She pleaded.

Meredith looked completely flummoxed, her eyes darting nervously from the two young girls to him. _What do I say to them? How do I handle this? Why are they only asking me?_ Stephanie took a hold of her other hand, her expression mirroring her sister's.

Meredith turned her attention back to the girls. "I, uh..."

Derek bit back a laugh as he decided to take pity on his fiancée. "Girls, we haven't decided when we're going to get married yet, but when we do, I assure you, you'll be first on our list for flower girls."

Matching blue eyes lifted to meet his. "Really?" Stephanie asked.

He nodded. "Absolutely."

"Do you promise?" Megan asked, still gripping to Meredith's hand.

"Pinky swear." He extended his hand to his nieces, his pinky finger lifted in offering of the most trusted agreement among single digit aged persons.

They both hooked their fingers around his and together they shook.

"What the hell was that?" Meredith whispered when the girls were out of hearing distance.

He shrugged. "A pinky swear. Don't tell me you've never heard of them?"

She gaped. "You mean that thing I used to do in, like, grade two?"

He nodded. She bit back a laugh and he mock-glared at her, his hands hooking onto her hips. "You're laughing at me," he accused.

She smiled. "Only a little. Come on, Derek, you speak little girl." She laughed. "I don't even speak little girl..."

He rolled his eyes. "Nine nieces, Meredith. Nine. And four sisters."

She shook her head and kissed him quickly. "I'm sorry you had to bail me out there," she whispered. "I just... I had no idea what to say to them. We never really talked about it, and..."

He kissed her again. "Don't worry about it. As long as you're okay with it, I'd love for them to be flower girls."

"Okay," she conceded. "I think I'd really like that too."

He couldn't help but kiss her one more time, his arms closing around her small frame.

A wolf whistle from across the room broke them apart after several seconds. Derek glared at his brother-in-law as Meredith blushed and buried her face in his chest. "Shut up, Spence," he called before planting a kiss on Meredith's forehead and leading her to the kitchen, where they caught the tail end of Megan and Stephanie very excitedly telling their mother and grandmother that they had been promised very important positions in their uncle's wedding.

Kathleen raised an eyebrow towards Derek as she appeared to be listening intently to her youngest daughters. Derek smiled and nodded, to confirm that the conversation had taken place.

"So," Nancy started, handing them each a mug of steaming coffee. "If you're reserving flower girls, does that mean you've finally set a date?"

Derek felt Meredith tense beside him and he expertly reached for her hand. "No, not yet," he said quietly, hoping he was effectively masking his disappointment. He didn't want to rush Meredith in any way. But he did want more than anything to be able to call her his wife.

"I thought you were thinking this summer?" Kathleen spoke up from the large, round kitchen table, where she was sitting with her mother and her daughters. "Unless you just didn't invite me..." She trailed off with a sarcastic smirk.

Derek rolled his eyes. "Keep that up, and you may not find yourself invited," he shot back.

"Derek, honestly, be nice to your sister," Carol chastised.

He huffed and met his mother's gaze. "She was baiting me."

Kathleen, ever the mature and responsible psychiatrist of the family, stuck her tongue out at her younger brother when her mother's back was turned.

Derek felt Meredith giggle beside him as he glared back at his sister. This was not a new, or surprising, situation for him. "She stuck her tongue out at me," he told his mother, motioning towards his sister.

Kathleen immediately masked her smug expression with one of pure innocence. "I would never."

"Don't even try that, Kath," he called on her. "Everyone saw it." He looked for support, but Natalie and Nancy shook their heads, once again taking the side of their sister over their brother. Stephanie and Megan giggled from the table. He huffed again. "Dean saw it." He turned an expectant eye to the only other male in the room.

Dean looked wide-eyed as he wilted under the scrutiny of the four united Shepherd women. He nervously met the eyes of his wife, Nancy, and stuttered. "I, uh...have to go." And he quickly pushed through the door into the living room.

Derek grumbled and turned to his last remaining option. "Fine, Meredith saw it."

Meredith glanced up at him, a smirk in her eyes and he knew what she was going to say before she said it. "I didn't see anything, Derek. You shouldn't accuse your sister of something like that."

"Traitor!" He accused, wrenching his hand free of hers and stomping over to the table.

Meredith giggled and followed him as his sisters cheered in triumph. She sat beside him and playfully bumped his shoulder as she reached for a muffin. The center of the table hosted a sprawling display of baked breakfast choices; muffins and cinnamon rolls and bagels and such. "Happy birthday, Carol," she told Derek's mother before she bit into her double chocolate chip muffin.

"Happy birthday, mom," Derek echoed as he shook his head at Meredith's choice of food and reached for a whole-wheat bagel.

"Thank-you," Carol replied, smiling at both of them.

"So, what did happen to getting married this summer?" Natalie prompted.

Meredith tensed again, and Derek sighed inwardly, knowing she still felt like it was her fault. He pasted a nonchalant expression on his face and shrugged. "It was never carved in stone." _But it had almost been written in ink. The invitations had been chosen._ "Some things got in the way." _One particular thing, really. A particular thing that shouldn't still be breathing; and wouldn't be if Derek hadn't made a very important promise._ "So, we decided to wait." _They hadn't really had a choice._

"For how long?"Nancy questioned.

"Maybe next summer." He treaded gently. He and Meredith hadn't discussed it much.

"That's so long," Kathleen said. "Why not do it in the fall?"

"We liked the idea of getting married outside, so we were going to do it on our land, but with the rain..." He shrugged. "We have a better chance of getting a nice day in the summer."

"Why can't you still do it this summer?" Stephanie spoke up. "Summer's just started!"

Derek smiled at his niece's enthusiasm. The kids had only been out of school for a few days, and a two month summer vacation was a long time when you were eight.

"Sweetie, you can't plan a wedding that quickly," Kathleen told her daughter.

"Why not? All you need is a pretty white dress and magical rings and a handsome prince."

Derek smiled at Stephanie's romantic ideation of the perfect wedding. "Well, the handsome prince part is taken care of..." He rolled his eyes when his family laughed at him, and ignored Meredith when she almost choked on her muffin. "You're right, Steph, the stuff isn't a problem. We actually have most of it already," he agreed. "But you also need people you care about to be there. And it's too late for people that we want to be there to get time off work and book plane tickets and stuff."

"Oh," she replied flatly, obviously disappointed. "So, if you got married this summer, we wouldn't be able to come be flower girls?"

He shook his head. "It would be impossible for your parents and your aunts and uncles to be able to get time off the same weekend, especially after taking so much time off for this week." This was the downside to having a family full of doctors. Doctors didn't always work nine to five jobs, Monday to Friday.

Stephanie contemplated his words and sighed heavily, giving up her flower girl dreams for the near future.

"Why don't 'cha just get married this week?" Megan piped up from her grandmother's lap, causing all of the adults to laugh.

Derek sighed. It didn't sound like a half-bad idea when it was stated so exuberantly by a six year old. "Because we have friends in Seattle who we want to be there." He glanced at Meredith, who met his eyes, hers portraying a gentle sadness that broke his heart. She didn't want to wait until next summer either. It was too bad the simple hope of a child wasn't enough to plan a wedding.

"Then why don't you have two weddings?"

He laughed at the new idea.

"You can't get married twice," Carol spoke gently as she laughed. Megan turned her head to face her grandmother, and Carol continued. "When you get married, you want a big celebration with all your friends and family together."

Derek felt Meredith reach for his hand at the statement. She squeezed tightly and he squeezed back. They had almost had that. And now they would have to wait.

_It was late when Derek let himself into the apartment he and Meredith had been sharing for over eight months. He had been working since early that morning and had been on his way to his car when an accident victim had arrived in the pit, delaying his return home for several hours. He pulled off his shoes and hung his coat in the small closet by the door before heading for the stairs to their loft bedroom._

_His toes touched the first step when he paused, a faint sniffling sound drawing his attention to the living room. His heart constricted as he caught sight of the woman he loved more than anything else in the world curled up on the reclining chair in the dark._

_"Oh, Mer," he spoke softly as he made his way to her side. She was leaning sideways against the back of the upright chair, her knees tucked up to her chest, her good arm wrapped tightly around them. Her free hand was clenched into a fist near her throat._

_Her messy hair was distorting a clear view of her face, but he caught sight of the tear tracks, shining in the light of the moon. He knelt beside the chair, his hand reaching to brush the hair out of her face, revealing eyes that shown even brighter than her cheeks. Her hand left the necklace she never took off as she captured his hand, using it as a lifeline. "How bad is it?" He asked gently._

_"Ten," she whispered._

_"I'm sorry I couldn't be home earlier."_

_"S'okay," she replied, her voice low and flat, as it was more often than not lately. "How's your patient?"_

_"He made it through surgery."_

_She nodded. "That's good." Her eyes were meeting his, but there was no light behind them. There was no emotion in her voice._

_He squeezed her hand. "Why is it a ten today?"_

_She blinked, her eyes welling._

_"Meredith..." He whispered her name, his own eyes welling at her pain. He stood and slipped onto the seat beside her, pulling her close. She kept her knees up, but no longer plastered to her chest, and moved her other arm to clench onto his shirt. There was an extra rustling as something moved with her hand, and he pulled a small piece of stiff, folded paper out of her grasp. "What's this?" He asked quietly, to no response. He held it up, trying to bounce some of the moonlight off it. He twisted it back and forth until 'YOU'RE INVITED!' lit up brilliantly in the dull light, contrasting easily with the light purple of its background. Their sample wedding invitation. Derek sighed._

_He dropped his hand down and looked to her, but she avoided his gaze, her dull eyes finding an abstract spot on the floor several feet away and fixating. "Meredith..." He prompted._

_She breathed. "I'm sorry."_

_"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for."_

_"I wish these things would stop happening to me."_

_"Me too." He pressed his lips against her temple and reached for the arm along the side of the chair that would recline them. _

_She sighed as she resettled against him, her left hand forgoing its iron grip on his shirt as she rested her head against her shoulder, carefully laying her upper torso against him. She lay her right arm over his chest, bent at the elbow, and he carefully closed his hand around hers, ignoring the contrast where her smooth skin turned to coarse fibreglass._

_"Why do you have the invitation out?" He asked gently. Their ongoing wedding plans had been put on the backburner for a couple weeks now. Meredith hadn't mentioned it, so Derek hadn't brought it up._

_"I don't know." She paused. "I just... I want to remember what it felt like."_

_"What what felt like?"_

_"The excitement."_

_He closed his eyes and leaned his head against hers. He carefully squeezed her hand. "Me, too."_

_"I was so..." Her voice hitched, and she hissed as her torso bumped painfully against his. "For once in my life I was so freaking happy," she continued through clenched teeth. "And I actually let myself look forward to something... And now..." She broke off again, breathing evenly as she collected herself. "And now I feel like I'm barely hanging on again."_

_Derek shifted and laid a comforting hand against her back. "I'll always be here to hang onto you. You don't have to hang on by yourself."_

_She nodded against his shoulder. "I know, Derek. I just want to be better for you."_

_He clucked his tongue. "You're perfect, just the way you are."_

_"But I'm a mess. These things keep happening to me..."_

_"They happen to us now, not just you," he corrected gently. "And it's not your fault; none of it had ever been your fault. You do know that, right?"_

_She didn't respond._

_"Meredith..."_

_"I... I think I know, most of the time." She sighed. "I was looking forward to it; having your whole family here, listening to Cristina rant about the happiness overload, finally being able to show you that I'm in this as much as you... But now..." Her breathing hitched again and she winced. "I just want to remember the feeling...of looking forward to it so much."_

_"Do you..." He trailed off, knowing he would have to tread gently. "Are you not looking forward to it now?"_

_"I don't know," she admitted quietly, her voice barely a whisper. "I just feel so numb."_

_Derek's eyes welled once again. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and crush her to him. But he knew that would hurt her too much. His hand stiffened as his fingers dug into her back just a bit, to make them both know how much he wanted to hold her. "I don't want you to feel numb, Meredith."_

_She sniffed. "Me neither."_

_He closed his eyes, hating himself for what he was about to say. "Mer, if you want to put it off..."_

_She lifted her head to meet his eyes, her expression more broken and vulnerable than he had ever seen it. "You don't want to marry me anymore?"_

_His entire body cried out in one, unified, moment. "Hey," he said sharply. "I absolutely want to marry you, Meredith. I want to marry you more than anything. I promise you. But..." He paused. "But I don't want you to go through with it right now because you know it's what I want. You need to be happy about it too. You deserve to be able to look forward to it. You deserve to be excited. You shouldn't be numb."_

_She set her head back down. "I want to marry you."_

_"I want to marry you, too."_

_"And I want to do the wedding thing; the family and the friends and the dress and the ceremony and the pictures and the rings and...everything, I do. I just... Right now I feel like everything will go wrong. And I..."_

_"You what?"_

_She inhaled a shaky breath. "I don't know if I can handle so many people..."_

_"Oh, Mer," he rubbed his hand along her back. _

_Her breathing hitched again. "I just want to remember what it was like to be excited," she whispered._

_Derek felt tears spill over his lower lids to his cheeks. It had only been a few weeks since they had lived in that shared excitement; it was still so fresh in his mind. "You deserve to be excited."_

_She squeezed his hand lightly, with the strength she had available. "It's still four months away."_

_"Mmm-hmm," he agreed._

_"Is that enough time to get excited again?"_

_He shook his head. "Only you can answer that."_

_"I don't want to wait any longer to marry you, Derek."_

_"Me neither."_

_"I don't want to call it off."_

_"We can do whatever you want."_

_She sighed and they were silent for several minutes. _

_"Do you think we could just wait a little longer before we order the invitations?"_

_"Absolutely."_

_"I do want to marry you," she repeated._

_"I know."_

_"I just need...some time."_

_"I know."_

_"I want to remember..."_

_"I know."_

000

The Shepherd family stood, sat and perched along the furniture in the living room as Carol sat center stage, decked out in a frilly pink and purple birthday hat the kids had made for her, opening her presents. She had long since demanded her children only give her updated photographs of their families. But there were still fourteen legitimate, wrapped birthday presents to be opened. Sometimes the adults would use their children to be able to give their mother a real present, but for the most part, every grandchild would make something for their grandmother.

Carol had already un-wrapped a number of scribbled drawings, craft concoctions and a clay bowl, which Jessica had made in her sixth grade pottery class, especially for her grandmother. Derek smiled as he perched on the arm rest of the couch, Meredith on the seat beside him, her arm resting along his upper leg. His mother's enthusiasm over every gift was impressive, though she had had a lot of practice. She oohed and ahhed excitedly over every present, praising each child on their craftsmanship.

Meredith laughed with the rest of the adults as Carol struggled to discern what the colourful squiggles and wavy lines on the rolled piece of manila paper she had just unwrapped was supposed to be. Spencer junior, at three, almost four, years of age, bounced on the balls of his feet as he smiled widely at his grandmother. As the oldest person he knew, she was definitely the most wise and important. He wanted to impress her and had worked very hard on his work of art.

"It's beautiful, Spencey," Carol said affectionately to her youngest grandson. "Thank-you. This is going to go on my fridge."

He beamed. The fridge was like the Louvre to the three year old.

Carol smiled affectionately at the young boy. "Come give grandma a hug," she commanded.

Spencer bounded over to her and climbed quickly into her lap, almost having to stand to hug her. "Happy burday, gramma."

"Thank-you, sweetie." Carol hugged him tightly before helping him off her lap and turning to the next present, while Spencer ran excitedly to his mother's lap.

"She liked it," he told Anna.

"Of course she did," Anna responded without missing a beat. "It's a wonderful drawing of your family," she said, filling her mother in on what the squiggles were supposed to be. He smiled at her and she poked him in his side, causing the young boy to giggle and collapse onto his side under his mother's assault.

Anna was sitting next to Meredith, so when Spencer collapsed, his feet flung onto Meredith's lap. And Derek couldn't help but smile when his fiancée reached her hand to run up the bottom of his foot. Spencer squealed and righted himself. "s'not fair, Aunt Meri-deth!"

Meredith laughed and reached to poke him in the side, as Anna had just done.

"No!" Spencer laughed and struggled to unlatch himself from his mother's arms and race across the room to his father's protection. "Girls mean," he stated as he pulled himself into Spencer senior's lap.

"You've got that right," Derek called, causing all four of his sisters and his mother to roll their eyes in unison. "Good for him for figuring that out early."

"Honestly, Derek," Carol gently chastised, a playful smile on her face.

"Yeah, Derek, let it go already," Nancy added, her three sisters nodding their agreement.

"Yeah," Meredith chimed in with a quirky smile.

He huffed and shook his head, wondering exactly when his fiancée had been assimilated by his sisters. This was the second time in only a few short hours that she had taken their side; but he wouldn't change it for the world. It meant she was comfortable around his family. It meant she was accepting them as her family. It meant she was realizing what a family was supposed to be. It meant she felt at home.

"You're being mean to me," he whispered, leaning down so his face was level with hers.

"She's just learning to stick with the winning team," Anna piped up, having heard his comment in her close proximity.

Derek grumbled. "Four sisters," he stated. "And now you're taking her too."

Meredith laughed, patting his knee. "You could just admit you're never going to win against them..."

Derek sat upright again. "Never."

"I'm with you, man," Mark called his support from across the room, holding up a fist. None of his brothers-in-law spoke up. And Derek hadn't expected them to. After spending at least part of their childhood with only a mother, the Shepherd sisters had grown into very strong women. Their husbands knew not to argue on this particular matter.

Meredith giggled at his and Mark's solidarity. "You guys are horrible."

Derek and Mark had come a long way in fixing their friendship over the past year. After Mark had spent an hour sitting on the floor of the hospital with him, Derek's anger had all but disappeared. And when his mother, Anna and Natalie had visited Seattle later that summer and Meredith had suggested he invite Mark out for dinner, Derek hadn't taken long to see the merit in her words. And when it had come time to fly to New York for Thanksgiving, there hadn't been a doubt on whether or not Derek wanted to invite Mark. Derek was glad he had given the plastic surgeon another chance. They had practically grown up together; Mark was his brother. And, other than Meredith, Mark had managed to reclaim his position as best friend.

_Derek stepped out of the elevator, onto the department head and attending offices hallway, and bypassed his own office. It was relatively early Monday morning, but he hoped the plastic surgeon was already in. _

_Light shown around the door marked 'Dr. Mark Sloan, Head of Plastic Surgery.' He was in luck._

_Derek knocked twice and turned the knob before waiting for a reply. Mark looked up from his chart at the intrusion to his office. _

_"Derek," he stated, placing his pen down onto his desk._

_"Mark," he responded evenly._

_Mark smirked. "This is usually the part where you explain why you're breaking into my office."_

_Derek rolled his eyes. "I'd hardly call it breaking in, the door was open."_

_"It wasn't open-"_

_"It was unlocked; same thing."_

_Mark shook his head and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. "Fine. This is usually the part where you tell me why you _opened the door and came into_ my office."_

_Derek couldn't help the smile that came to his lips. "Well," he began, "It looks like I'm going to be in need of a best man again soon..."_

_Mark sat upright. "You and Grey are getting married?"_

_Derek beamed. "I asked her on Saturday."_

_"Congratulations, man." Mark stood and stepped forward to offer him a handshake, and then pulled him into a friendly 'man-hug.'_

_"Thanks."_

_"I didn't even know you were going to do it."_

_"Yeah, well, you suck at keeping secrets." When Addison had been pressing for a ring, Derek had given in and approached Mark for help in picking one. His entire family had known he was going to propose before he had gotten around to doing it. "I wasn't going to make that mistake again." _

_Mark snorted. "That wasn't my fault."_

_"You were the only person I told."_

_"Whatever."_

_Derek rolled his eyes. _

_Mark paused. "You seriously want me to be your best man again?"_

_Derek nodded. "Yeah. I know what happened with Addy won't happen with Mer."_

_"Thanks, man," Mark said quietly. "I... Thank-you."_

_Derek nodded. _

_"Congrats, again," Mark added. "She's good for you. Better than Addy ever was."_

_Derek nodded again. "She is."_

Once Carol had finished opening her gifts, the children lost interest in being with the adults, and migrated to the basement, leaving the living room with a much higher average age.

"So...how does it feel to be sixty-five?" Phil asked with a gentle smirk.

Natalie huffed and smacked her husband. "Be nice."

Carol laughed in good nature. "It feels wonderful. If I didn't live to sixty-five, I wouldn't have a chance to see all of my children so happy." She smiled and glanced around the room, her eyes lingering on Derek and Meredith just a little longer than anyone else. "And I wouldn't have a chance to spend so much time with my grandkids."

Kathleen scoffed. "Come on, mom. Sixty-five. You have to be feeling it."

"It's only a number, dear. I don't feel old yet."

"I never said you were _old..._"

"Yeah, cause that would mean you'd have to admit you were getting up there as well," Anna piped up. As the youngest, Anna enjoyed a seven year difference between herself and Kathleen, the oldest.

"I am not."

Anna smirked. "Forty-five isn't that far away..."

"I'm closer to forty than forty-five."

"By a few months," Simon spoke up from across the room, a joking sparkle in his eyes.

Kathleen gaped at her husband. "I cannot believe you just said that."

"Well, believe it, babe." Kathleen and Simon had met in college, and he never let her forget that he was a whole month younger than her.

Kathleen shook her head. "Well, have fun sleeping on the couch tonight."

Derek laughed at the gentle antics between his sister and brother-in-law. He liked all of his brothers-in-law, but Simon had been the first. He and Mark had put the poor man through the ringer the first few times Kathleen had brought him home. But they had never found something they didn't like. He didn't come from a large family, only had one sister, but had fit into the Shepherd family easily. He was a writer and opted to work at home whenever possible to be near his family; he adored his wife and children.

000

It was late afternoon, and quickly nearing dinner time. The parents began to disperse to capture their children and have them change into something nicer for dinner. And Mark excused himself to check on the roast they would have for dinner. Surprising to many, Mark was a very capable chef. He always cooked the major meals when the family got together. A favourite Shepherd family tradition was to play practical jokes on him while he was in the kitchen, especially on Thanksgiving.

"You happy, mom?" Derek asked as he gave Meredith a gentle shove so she would move over and he could sit next to her on the seat, instead of the arm of the sofa. The room had cleared out, leaving only him, Meredith and his mother.

She beamed when she turned to them. "I'm very happy, Derek. And I'm especially happy the three of you could come out this week," she said, referring to the two of them and Mark. "It's been too long since my family was all together at once."

"I'm sorry we haven't come out more," Derek conceded. "But I promise we'll make time from now on."

Carol shook her head. "I didn't mean it that way, Derek, though I'd love it any time for you two to visit. I just meant that I'm sixty-five, and it's nice to have my whole family here for a week while I can enjoy it."

"You're not old, mom."

She smiled. "I know that. But one day I will be, and I want to look back on my life and know I took advantage of every moment. I don't want any regrets. I want to enjoy my family time. Family is a joy." It was her favourite saying.

Derek smiled. "Well, we're glad to be here, enjoying family time as well."

Meredith nodded her agreement.

"How have you two been doing lately?" Carol asked gently. "We haven't talked much."

"We're fine," Derek answered quickly, to which his mother narrowed her eyes.

Meredith squeezed his hand, indicating he didn't have to shield her from his mother. "We're doing really well," she told Carol quietly.

Carol regarded her future daughter-in-law for several seconds. "I'm glad to hear it. I was..." She trailed off. "I was worried when you decided to postpone the wedding."

Meredith tensed in his arms, but surprised him by answering. "Yeah, we... That had nothing to do with _us_. There were just...other factors..."

"I'm sorry about that."

Meredith nodded. "Yeah, me too." Her voice was low with a hint of sadness, but Derek realized he shouldn't be surprised by her openness with his mother. Meredith had almost immediately begun dropping her walls around the older woman the first time she met her. And he hoped, with time, that Meredith would be able to regard Carol as a mother. As the mother she had never had, but always deserved.

"Us too," Derek corrected gently, moving to wrap his arm around his fiancé.

Carol offered a supportive smile. "Well," she stated, slapping her hands down on her knees. "I think I'm going to go and get changed for dinner."

"We should probably do that as well," Derek pulled his arms away and stood, reaching to pull Meredith up beside him.

000

Derek stepped out of the bathroom, his fingers working the buttons along the front of his shirt, when he caught sight of Meredith. She was breathtaking, as always, her hair more wavy than usual, dressed in a light purple blouse and underwear, sitting cross-legged on the bed.

He raised an eyebrow as he forwent his buttoning routine, leaving his chest exposed to his navel. "Now this is a sight I like to see..."

She giggled. "Derek, it's been like eight hours."

"That's about seven hours too long when you have such a sexy fiancée..."

She giggled again, even as her cheeks blushed, and shook her head. "Whatever."

She was sitting dead center in the bed, leaving him room to kneel in front of her. "So," he prompted. "What's with the pensive face?"

She met his eyes with a gentle smile. "I'm not sure. I'm just...thinking."

"Thinking?"

She nodded.

He sighed and shifted to sit kitty-corner to her, also crossing his legs. "About..?"

"I... I'm not sure." She furrowed her brow and reached for his hand. Derek offered her a supportive smile and squeezed her hand. She wasn't trying to stall or avoid a discussion. She was just trying to collect her thoughts. It was one of the many things that he had learned about her that he had originally perceived differently. He used to hate it when she did this, and he'd internally and silently blame her for withholding from him, for isolating herself, for pushing him away. But now he knew she was simply trying to form coherent thoughts to better express what she was feeling with him. She wasn't avoiding, she was trying her best to let him in, to tell him what she was thinking and how she was feeling. He hadn't asked, but he suspected her internal thought process was similar to her verbal rambling.

"I'm thinking about what your mother said."

He tilted his head. "What part?"

"About not wanting to have regrets and taking advantage and stuff..."

"Okay."

She squeezed his hand. "I don't want to wait another year, Derek," she whispered.

He scooted closer and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Me neither."

"I'm sorry that I ruined this summer."

"You didn't ruin anything, Meredith. We both decided."

She nodded, silently accepting his support. "I'm excited again."

He couldn't help but smile at her choice of words. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." She confirmed.

"Not numb anymore?"

She shook her head. "No." She turned watery eyes towards him. "And I know that's because of you, Derek. I don't think... I know I wouldn't have gotten through all of this and come out the other side this well if you hadn't been there the whole time."

He kissed her. "That's what I'm here for."

She laughed at his choice of words. "Anyway, I don't want to wait another year."

"Well," he began, excitement lining his voice. "What are our options?"

She shrugged. "There's no way everyone we want to be there could get time off work this summer."

"No," he shook his head. "Not after this week." His family had started booking time off the previous November to all have this week off.

"Your sister mentioned the fall..."

He nodded. "We could maybe pull it off then. Really, with the right pressure on Richard, we could get all of your friends off at the same time without any problems. He owes me. And the most important people for me to invite would be my mom, and my sisters and their families."

"So, basically everyone in this house."

"Exactly." He sighed. "We could pick a few dates and ask them to put feelers out at work for time off."

"But do we want to get married in the fall?"

He frowned. "We'd have to contend with the rain. I doubt we could get a dry weekend." It was a disappointment. They had both been looking forward to getting married outside, on their land. Their plan had been to have the wedding on a Saturday, and then if it rained, bump it to the Sunday. The Shepherd family would be out for the weekend, so it wouldn't have mattered to them. And the Seattle crowd would be close by and, hopefully, able to change their plans easily enough.

"So, we'd have to find somewhere to do it inside?"

"Yeah, which poses a problem. We'd need a lot of notice for booking a hall or something. They usually get booked a year or more in advance. And school would be back in session, so it would be more difficult for everyone to get out to Seattle for very long."

"Hmpf," she mumbled, leaning against him.

He smiled. "Exactly."

"What if we didn't have it in Seattle?"

He blinked as he contemplated. "You mean having it here? Or having it somewhere tropical or something?"

She shrugged. "Here, I guess." They had never discussed a destination wedding.

"Well, here we'd have less rain to contend with, but more cold. We'd probably still want it inside. And, being New York, halls are booked even further in advance."

She scrunched her face. "Too cold to have it outside?"

He nodded. "Most likely."

"Crap."

He laughed and kissed her forehead. "We don't need to decide right now. But we can talk about it this week and see if they have any idea when they can get some time off. Really, Kathleen has her own practice, so that shouldn't be a problem. And Simon and Spencer have pretty flexible schedules. And mom is always free. So really it's only five people we need to worry about."

"And you think you can get the chief to give my friends that much time off at once?" A wedding in Seattle was one thing, Meredith's friends only needed a few hours off at the same thing. A wedding in New York meant a few days. It was why they had originally decided on Seattle.

"Like I said, he owes me." There was just a hint of anger in his voice and Meredith squeezed his hand.

"Are you okay with changing everything?" She asked gently. "Cause if you're set on summer in Seattle..."

He shook his head and kissed her. "The only thing I'm set on is ending up married to you."

"Derek..."

He smiled. "Okay, the _most_ important thing is ending up married to you. And I want my family to be there, and your friends. Other than that, Mer, I really don't mind the where and the when."

There was a knock at the door. "Five minutes, guys."

"Thanks, Nat," Derek called. He kissed Meredith on the forehead and slowly disentangled himself and slid off the bed. "We'll have to finish this later."

She smiled and crawled off the bed after him. "Okay," she told him, her hands finding his chest as she reached up on her tip-toes to kiss him. When they pulled away she made easy work of latching his remaining buttons. "Okay," she repeated, a hint of a smile flittering across her face. She really was excited again.

He smiled at her, and captured her hands as she finished. "I love you."

"I love you too." She leaned up to kiss him again.

He reluctantly pulled away after several moments. "Okay, we need to get downstairs, and although you don't have to, I'm recommending you put some pants on..."

She rolled her eyes and swatted at his chest as he released her hands. "Smart ass," she mumbled as she picked dress pants off the nightstand and pulled them on. "How do I look?" She asked as she turned to face him.

"Well, to be honest, I liked the look without the pants better..."

She rolled her eyes. "What am I going to do with you?"

He laughed and stepped forward, his hands finding her hips. "You look beautiful, as usual." He pressed his lips against hers again.

She laughed when he pulled away, pecking him once before leaning her forehead against his chin, her hands looping easily around his neck. "I do want to marry you." Her breath created goose bumps as it hit the tender skin across the front of his neck.

He closed his arms around her and breathed in the scent wafting from her hair. "Me too." He sighed. "We'll figure it out."

"I know we will." She breathed deeply. "I know."

He kissed her forehead and pulled away far enough to meet her eyes. She looked absolutely beautiful to him. On account of the occasion, she had put on some dangly earrings, but the only other jewellery she wore were her engagement ring and the thin chain and pendant he had given her when she had become a resident. And in his mind, her strongest beauty was in her simplicity.

"Let's go downstairs," he whispered, taking her hand and leading her down to the dining room.

000

"...Happy birthday dear Carol/mom/grandma... Happy birthday to you!"

There was an expectant pause while Carol and her youngest grandchildren took a deep breath and then blew out the candles decorating the large cake. They were successful, and everyone cheered.

Derek laughed as the older kids made bids for the ever coveted corner pieces as Carol began the tedious task of cutting the cake into twenty-six pieces. Dinner had been delicious, and the adults had spent time sitting comfortably and talking at the table before the kids had migrated up from their dinner, searching out dessert.

He smiled as he caught sight of Meredith across the table, talking animatedly to his sister. Derek had gone to the bathroom, and had come back to find his seat taken by Anna, who wasn't about to give it back to him. But it only served to make him even more grateful that his family was so accepting and supportive towards his fiancée. She was smiling and happy and completely at home speaking with his relatives. And he couldn't be more happy that he had been able to give her the family she deserved.

Once the children were served, they disappeared to the basement, leaving the adults in peace. Dean, who was seated on Meredith's other side stood, and Derek saw his chance, quickly sneaking around the table and reclaiming a seat next to her.

"Derek, what are you doing?" Nancy asked, suddenly finding her brother seated next to her.

"Anna stole my seat," he said, causing his sister to roll her eyes and Meredith to laugh.

"Honestly, Derek, can you not spend ten minutes away from her?" Kathleen called from across the table.

He glared at his sister as he casually placed an arm behind Meredith's back. "I can. I choose not to."

Meredith laughed.

"You better not be this bad when you two are at work..."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not." Mark scoffed and Derek glared at him. "What was that for?"

Mark raised an eyebrow. "You follow her around like a lost puppy at work."

"I do not."

Mark nodded. "You're always in the cafeteria together."

"We eat together when we have a chance. What's wrong with that?"

Mark ignored the question. "You always ask Bailey if she can work with you."

"That's because Bailey ignores me ninety-five percent of the time. I have to ask all of the time if I want to work with her at all."

"Bailey's the chief resident," Meredith added, bringing the rest of the table in on what they were talking about.

"Is he really unprofessional at work, Meredith?" Natalie asked.

Meredith met his eyes for a moment. Hers were gleaming with something, and he knew she was debating whether or not to be honest, or to joke with his sisters. He gave her an expectant look and she smiled. "No," she conceded. "He's not that bad. Though, Bailey always lectures me about his requests. I actually think she'd assign me to neuro more often if he didn't..."

Derek laughed. They had, of course, had this discussion before. More than once. "Hey, I'm doing whatever I can to convince you to pick the best specialty."

"Then why are you having her work with you?" Anna countered. She was a general surgeon, and the only other surgeon in the family. She had bonded quickly with Meredith as someone to talk to about work. And she was doing her best trying to convince her soon-to-be sister-in-law to pick general.

"Ha ha," Derek rolled his eyes. "We all know neuro is far better than general."

"But neither can hold a candle to plastics."

Derek laughed as Mark spoke up. Meredith had been practically the only intern of her year that Mark had ever let assist him, and he was doing his part to entice her to plastics. "Shut up, Mark, you already have your protégé." The plastic surgeon had taken a liking to Meredith's intern, Dr. Myers, in the summer, and over the better part of the last year, had taken the younger surgeon under his wing. It was a good thing he showed an interest in plastics, because Derek doubted the boy had any choice in the matter.

Meredith laughed. "Yeah, Mark, you stole my intern."

Mark shrugged. "The boy's got a promising future. He doesn't need to dabble in anything else."

"But that's the point in being an intern. Plus, he's got a very important test in a few weeks. He could really use some more diverse experience."

Mark waved his hand. "So he'll have to do some extra reading. It's worth it if he wants in on plastics. And it wasn't a problem for your buddy Karev."

"Did you stick him in plastics all year too?" Anna asked.

Mark scoffed. "No. He spent a good chunk of the year in OB."

Derek nodded with a laugh. "He pissed off Addy."

The rest of the family seemed to breathe in as one, the tension level rising at the realization that Derek and Mark were joking about the woman who had almost torn their friendship apart.

"And she wouldn't let him leave her service for months," Derek continued, making it seem like he hadn't noticed the tension.

"I can so see her doing something like that," Anna piped up. "What did he do to piss her off?"

"He told her he didn't do v..." Mark trailed off as he realized his company. He glanced towards Carol and shook his head. "I don't know what he did."

Carol clucked her tongue at her surrogate son, but let it go. She was used to her children thinking they were pulling things over her head. "How's she doing in California?" She questioned lightly. She didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, but the woman had been her daughter-in-law for eleven years.

"Pretty good, I think," Derek answered. "I spoke to her a few months ago." He couldn't help but laugh, and Meredith was trying to bite back a laugh beside him.

"What?" His mother prompted.

He shook his head.

"Come on, Derek."

"He sent her a shoe," Meredith said, to which Carol furrowed her brow.

Derek sighed. "When I cleared out the old trailer, I found one of her shoes underneath it...half chewed." He sighed. "Doc liked them, and she'd always blame me. But there was one pair that she absolutely loved, and when one disappeared, she was hysterical. Anyway, I found it, so I sent it to her..."

Nancy gasped and smacked him. "You didn't! Derek that's horrible."

Derek laughed. "She was maaad..." He had waited until after Christmas, to avoid the long lines in the post office, so he had sent it in early January, wrapped up in a nice box, with a note on top saying he'd found it, but not what condition it had been in. He and Meredith had been at the trailer when she had called. Meredith had been able to hear her yelling from across the room.

"I would have killed you," Nancy added.

"I'm pretty sure she would have if she could have through the phone." He shook his head. "She said she had kept the old one in distant hope and had been so excited before she actually saw the condition it was in..."

"She yelled for a long time," Meredith added.

"I can't believe you did that," Natalie told him, ignoring her laughing husband.

"I'm glad I did. It was hilarious." In actual fact, Addison had yelled for some time, but she had come to see the humour in the situation. It had never been to hurt her. They had parted on amicable terms, and he hoped to stay in touch.

"You don't mess with a woman's shoes, Derek," Nancy told him, still shaking her head.

"She had a million pairs."

"Still..."

Carol laughed at her children. "Anyway, other than the assassinated shoe, she's doing okay?"

Derek nodded. "I think so. I hope so."

"Andrew has been exchanging e-mails with her," Kathleen spoke up. Her oldest, Andrew, was thirteen, and he had had a difficult time on Thanksgiving. Most of the children were too young to understand what had happened, but Andrew had been well aware of what had occurred between his Uncle Mark and Aunt Addison. He had had massive difficulty accepting that Mark was still welcome, while the aunt he had known for his whole life was gone. Derek had done his best to explain the situation to his nephew, and had offered him her contact information, but he had never heard whether he had done anything with it. He was glad Andrew was keeping in touch. "He says she says she's happy in California. Says her practice keeps her on her toes."

"That's nice to hear," Carol responded.

Derek nodded his agreement with the rest of the table. He tightened his arm around Meredith, glad she was comfortable with the conversation. There wasn't a hint of doubt in his mind regarding who he belonged with, and he knew she knew that.

000

It was after midnight when Derek shut his bedroom door behind him, unprepared for Meredith's actions when she pressed herself against him, trapping him against the back of the door, and captured his lips into a deep kiss. It took him a moment to respond, and his arms found the small of her back on their own.

After another hour around the table, eating birthday cake, the adults had moved to the living room, where they reminisced over Carol's past birthdays and any and all family history and memories she had brought up.

Meredith had remained relatively quiet throughout, making short comments, and laughing at the funny memories, especially when it was something embarrassing about him that his sisters had taken it upon themselves to divulge. But she hadn't initiated anything. She hadn't brought anything up herself. He would have been worried, but she had been leaning up beside him, wrapped in his arm, holding his hand, completely relaxed.

He had been thrown off. This wasn't a behaviour he was used to. Quiet Meredith and calm Meredith didn't occur together.

And now, practically attacking him as soon as they were alone...

Derek was confused.

"I love you," she told him as she broke the kiss, but remained close, still pressing him against the door. Her eyes were sparkling as she bit back a smile.

Derek blinked. "I love you too," he responded without thinking. "What's going on?"

She bit down on her lower lip. "You're going to think I'm out of my mind..."

He rolled his eyes. "I _always_ think you're out of your mind."

She laughed and swatted at him as she pulled away and turned to change into her pajamas.

"Meredith..."

She pulled off her blouse and paused, turning to face him, one of his old tees in her hand. "It's crazy..." She nervously worked the thin fabric of her favourite shirt to sleep in.

"Well, you're crazy, so it makes sense that your thoughts are," he tried again, once more rewarded with a laugh, but no further explanation. She turned the fabric in her hands, readying it to be pulled over her head, but he reached out and wrapped his fingers around it. "Mer..."

She met his eyes and opened her mouth, but then she lost her nerve and closed it.

He pulled the shirt out of her hands and tossed it towards the bed, his hands finding her bare waist line as his eyes took her in. "What's on your mind?" He whispered, ducking his head down to her ear.

She shuddered as her shoulders came up unbidden and she leaned her head towards his. "Derek..." She whispered. Her fingers found the buttons on his shirt.

"Tell me..." He pleaded, his fingers dancing across her bare back, instinctively knowing every inch of skin; every dip, every ticklish spot.

She made quick work of his buttons and he couldn't help but gasp when her small hands found his bare chest. She smirked at him and swept her hands upwards, pulling the shirt off his shoulders, forcing him to release her so he could be rid of the garment. And then her hands were cupping under his cheeks and her lips were pressed hard against his and it was all he could do to stay on his feet.

His hands returned to her back, making easy work of her bra clasp. She dropped her hands to dispose of the article, and then they were skin to skin. He moaned into her mouth, wondering how they had managed to get away from the topic at hand so quickly, but really not caring. All. That. Much. A familiar tingling was spreading throughout his body as his heart rate increased. They obviously weren't going to be talking first.

000

Derek kissed her beautiful swollen lips for the umpteenth time as she lay panting in his arms, her legs intertwined with his and her arm resting over his hip. She sighed with content and leaned her forehead against his, her hand tightening its grip. He pulled the covers up to their shoulders and snaked his arm across her waist, pulling her flush against him.

"That was amazing," he whispered.

"Mmm-hmm," she agreed easily, shutting her eyes as they revelled together in the after effects.

He couldn't help but kiss her one more time. "I love you so much."

"I love you more." She didn't miss a beat.

He grumbled. "Not true."

"It is true." She opened her eyes. "And I could totally get your whole family to back me up if I wanted."

"Yeah, well, you're all traitors..."

She giggled. "Whatever, you're just a sore loser."

"I'm not a loser."

"But you're always wrong."

"I am not."

"Well, I'm always right."

He rolled his eyes. "Not always, and not yet..."

She paused. "Speaking of that..."

And suddenly they weren't just joking around anymore. "I..." She sighed heavily. "Okay, you're going to think this is crazy, but hear me out."

"Okay." He had no idea what to expect.

"You said you could get the Chief to give my friends time off."

He nodded, even though he knew she wasn't looking for confirmation.

"How short notice?"

He blinked. "I don't know... How short are we talking?"

She bit her lip.

"Meredith..."

"Next weekend. Here." She cringed, waiting for his reaction.

He blinked again. "Next weekend, as in a week from now?"

She pulled back and nodded.

"Meredith..."

"I know it sounds crazy," she said, sitting up. "But I was thinking about it, and even though your six year old niece came up with the idea, I really think we could maybe do it..."

"A week from now?" Derek was still trying to process the idea. He stared at her.

Her expression fell and she shook her head. "It's...crazy. Never mind. It was stupid." She rolled out of bed and went in search of the tee shirt she had been planning on wearing to bed.

"Meredith..."

She scooped the shirt off the floor and rose, shaking her head. "It was stupid, Derek. Don't worry about it." She pulled the tee over her head, covering her smooth skin down to her thighs.

"I don't think it's stupid, definitely crazy, but not stupid..." He managed to elicit a small laugh from her as she crawled back into bed and sat beside him, cross-legged, the covers over her lap and around her waist. He sat up, leaning against the headboard. "I just...need a moment to process it."

"It's okay, Derek. I was being stupid. I was just thinking this may be the only time we have your family together for a while. And I... it was stupid. Forget about it."

He captured her hands and shook his head at her. "Nothing that involves marrying you is stupid. I love that you want to get married so soon." He furrowed his brow. "Assuming we could get Richard on board that quickly, who would you want to invite?"

"Well, Cristina, and Izzy and George, and Alex. And maybe Lexie, I guess."

"What about Bailey?" They had originally planned on inviting the chief resident.

"Right, I..." She shook her head. "I doubt she could get time off too."

"We'd have to make sure we could book plane tickets for them. And a place to stay." He sighed. "And all of our stuff is in Seattle. I guess we could have it couriered, but if it gets lost, we're screwed." They had already picked out rings, and Meredith had allowed Izzy to drag her and Cristina out to find a dress.

Meredith shook her head. "You're right, it's too crazy. Just drop it."

"You brought it up, and you're already giving up on it?" He asked sharply, reluctant to extinguish the small spark of hope she had ignited.

Her eyes filled with tears and she averted her gaze quickly.

His heart constricted. "Meredith, I'm sorry." He shuffled closer and pulled her into his arms.

She shuddered against him. "I just don't want to wait any more."

"I know," he soothed. "I don't want to wait either."

"It was supposed to be next month."

"It was."

She pulled away, wiping furiously at her eyes. "I'm sorry, Derek, but I feel like this is all my fault and I want to fix it."

"You don't have to fix anything."

"But I couldn't deal. And now the soonest we can get married is the fall, which is a big maybe. And I don't want to be one of those couples who are engaged for years..."

"Me neither. But if we try and do this, it can't be because you feel guilty, because none of this was your fault, Meredith."

"I want to marry you, Derek. I want to be able to call you my husband." She shook her head. "And I don't want to wait forever."

"I love you so much, Meredith." He hugged her close again. "Are you sure you'd be happy with a wedding put together so quickly?"

"I don't want a big to-do, Derek. You know that."

"But you still need something special."

She smiled at him, her hand brushing against his cheek. "As long as you're there, it'll be special."

"Okay, so assuming we can get everyone out here, what's the plan?"

She took a breath, her features softening and he realized she must have been thinking about this all evening. "I was thinking we could still do it outside, here."

"Here?"

She nodded. "Maybe down the hill on the field we played touch football on Thanksgiving..."

He narrowed his eyes. "Why?" There was something behind her suggestion.

"It's just...when we were here before, that's the first place where I really felt like I belonged. I mean, I know I completely broke down in front of your mother and sisters and everything, and that was actually okay, but it was still... I was still the girlfriend. But then, when we were playing, and I scored the touchdown thing, and..." Her voice cracked. "Everyone hugged me. And then we all sat and talked for like an hour..."

Derek squeezed her hand, remembering every moment she was referring to.

"And then..." She trailed off, searching his eyes. "After the kids came out to play with us, and you did that thing with Megan, helping her score and everything, I... Look, I never meant to keep this from you, but I had a moment."

Derek furrowed his brow. "A moment?"

She nodded. "You were being all perfect and dreamy, and going out of your way to help your niece and...it was like I suddenly snapped and realized I was part of the family, and there was this new feeling and I...realized what we could have one day...together. And I just...think it would be really perfect if we could get married there." She stopped abruptly and averted her eyes, obviously embarrassed.

He felt his heart go out to her. The backs of his eyes stung and he was suddenly determined that whether or not they could make it work in a week, they would get married on that spot. "Mer, please look at me..."

She flicked her eyes back to his gaze and he melted. "I would love to get married here."

"Really?" She asked quietly.

He nodded. "Absolutely. And I'm all for making a go at next weekend, if it's possible."

"It's crazy..."

He nodded. "So are we."


	4. RINGS

**RINGS**

'_Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.'__  
__- Anon._

**- Monday -**

_Derek smiled as Meredith nodded her final approval at the wedding rings they had picked out together. He had opted for a simple platinum band, and Meredith had surprised him when she had done the same. Although in retrospect, he shouldn't have been surprised. She wouldn't want any excessive bling on her finger for the rest of her life. He could remember Addison trying to convince him to go with a male braid or some other design to match hers. But Meredith had been quite content with matching simple bands. It was perfect for them. And they were just now in the store to make sure they would be sized correctly._

_The store owner smile appreciatively; Derek had spent hours with the man when he had chosen Meredith's engagement ring and he had been pleased when Derek had returned with Meredith in tow for wedding rings. "Did you want an engraving?"_

_"An engraving?" Meredith asked._

_He nodded. "Many couples request a phrase or a date to be engraved under the band."_

_She nodded, accepting his answer. "Does it have to be the same on both?"_

_"Not at all, it can be whatever you want it to be."_

_Meredith smirked, turning to him, her eyes dancing. "We could have 'always right' engraved on mine and 'never right' engraved on yours."_

_Derek rolled his eyes in good nature."Or we could go with something else..."_

_She laughed, her hand falling against his chest as she leaned in for a quick kiss. He never tired of the new, light hearted Meredith. She seemed so free and happy; just what she deserved to be. "So, what do you want to go with?"_

_"You're a lucky man," the owner stated. "A fiancée who lets you make decisions. A rare thing indeed."_

_Derek laughed as he hooked an arm around her waist. "Trust me; I know how lucky I am." He pressed his lips against her temple._

_Meredith giggled. "So, any ideas?"_

_Derek pursed his lips and contemplated. _

_"Some couples like to match their wedding bands quotes to the engagement ring," the store owner offered. "_What I'm here for_, if I remember correctly."_

_Derek nodded, impressed. "Good memory; you must do a ton of engravings."_

_"And every one is unique and memorable."_

_"Wait, you had that engraved on my ring?" Meredith spoke up, wrenching it off her finger to hold up to the light._

_Derek laughed and shook his head. "How can you just be realizing that now?"_

_She glared at him before returning to squinting at the inner band. "You never told me. How was I supposed to know?"_

_He laughed. "It's been two months, Meredith. And you seriously haven't looked?"_

_She scoffed. "I didn't know I was supposed to look at the _inside_ of the ring..."_

000

Silence.

The worst kind of silence.

Derek swallowed, squeezing Meredith's hand, hoping to reassure her not to freak out. They had discussed this. It was possible. Now they had to get his family on board. But they weren't exactly speaking up with excitement and enthusiasm.

"Saturday?" Natalie finally asked. "Saturday, as in five days from now?"

Derek nodded.

"How do you expect to pull this off?"

"Very carefully."

She rolled her eyes.

Derek sighed. "Look, it's the only time we can all be together for a while. And we don't want to wait. We can have the ceremony here, and then a reception here or inside somewhere if we can book anything. We already have a dress and rings in Seattle, which our friends from there can pick up and bring with them."

"That is, if they can get time off work," Nancy added.

"That shouldn't be a problem. Richard owes me."

"For what?"

"He just does."

"I can get my team here for photos," Spencer spoke. "We don't have anything booked." Spencer owned a photo and camera shop, and his team often did weddings and other large get-togethers.

"Thank-you," Derek told him, grateful to have someone on his side. One down; nine more left to convince.

"How would we book a hall or find a caterer this late?" Carol questioned.

Derek shrugged. "I don't know, but the reception is less important right now."

"A reception is very important, Derek. It's the celebration."

"We can do our own food if we have to. There won't be that many people." Less than fifty. They could cook enough food in his mother's kitchen if they had to.

"It's important, Derek."

He nodded. "I know."

"How many people are you planning on inviting?" Anna asked. "If it's few enough, we could probably book a restaurant."

He nodded gratefully to his little sister. Two on board. "Well, the twenty-four of you people. Any other family we can get a hold of who can get here." He smiled when she rolled her eyes, and turned to Meredith. "And at least four from Seattle?"

Meredith nodded.

"Only four?"

Meredith sighed. "We really don't know anyone outside of the hospital," she shrugged. "It's sad, but we just don't have any spare time."

"So, the four are...?"

"My friends. We started out together."

"Meredith," Carol prompted carefully. "Don't you have any family out there? I thought your father..."

Meredith quickly shook her head. "No. My friends _are_ my family."

"Okay," she accepted Meredith's answer. "And no one else from the hospital?"

"Well, there are a few other people, but whether we can get them here..."

"Who else?" Mark asked.

"Bailey, and...Lexie, I think..." She glanced to Derek. "And maybe the Chief."

Derek scowled slightly. "I guess we'd have to invite him, if he let's everyone else come."

Meredith met his eyes and they shared an understanding. "He didn't mean to..." She trailed off.

He nodded. "I know."

"What about clothes for the wedding party?" Natalie asked. "Do you have all that in Seattle?"

"Well, I think we have bridesmaid dresses for Izzy and Cristina..." Derek glanced at Meredith, who nodded.

"What about for Mark?" It was assumed he would be best man again. "Hell, Derek, what about you? Do you have a tux?"

He shook his head. "Not yet. But that's easy to get."

"But to get it matched to the dress..." Nancy shook her head. "Without the dress here until the end of the week... That's nearly impossible." She paused. "And then it'll need to be sized..."

Meredith scrunched her face. "The tux needs to match?"

Derek couldn't help but laugh at her confusion, especially when Nancy and Natalie were staring at her like she was out of her mind. He kissed her temple. It was one of the many reason he loved her. "It's common to match the style."

"Okay..."

"And the cummerbund should be your theme colour." Natalie added.

Meredith looked confused again. "We need a theme colour?"

Derek bit back another laugh. "We don't need one, but it's common."

"Okay." She nodded. "We can have a theme colour. What do you-"

"And how do you expect to get decent flowers ordered at such short notice?" Carol cut in. "That's something we need to see about today. Along with booking something for the reception."

"And getting a marriage license," Kathleen added.

"We can probably do that tomorrow," Simon told her, glancing to the rest of the table. "It's either a twenty-four or forty-eight hour waiting period. I can't remember which, but I know it's no more than that."

"Okay," Derek spoke up. "So, flowers and reception today. Marriage license tomorrow. And tuxes," he motioned to Mark and himself.

"Meredith, when was the last time you were fitted for your dress?"

"Uh..." Her eyes closed as she thought back. "February, I think..."

"Same as your bridesmaids?"

She nodded.

"We'll have to get the three of you to a dress shop when your friends get here, and make sure they still fit." Carol told her.

"Okay..."

"There's an excellent shop in town," Natalie added. "It's where I got my dress. I'm sure the owner would do it; she was wonderful."

"Does she have flower girl dresses?" Derek asked.

Natalie nodded. "For who?"

Derek turned to his oldest sister. "We were hoping Megan and Steph could do it, seeing as they were the inspiration for this."

Kathleen beamed. "I'm sure they'd love it, Derek. They've never had the chance before."

Meredith glanced at the rest of the room. "We'd love to have them all...but nine flower girls would be a lot..."

Carol laughed. "There'd be more than the entire rest of the wedding party." She smiled and shook her head. "What about a ring bearer?"

Derek turned to his youngest sister. "We were going to ask Spencer, if you think he'd be up to it."

"I'd be honoured," Spencer senior cut in. "But I think I'm a little old..."

Derek rolled his eyes.

Anna expertly ignored her husband. "I think he'd love it, Derek."

000

Derek closed the door to his bedroom for privacy and sat in the chair in the corner by the door, reluctantly picking up his cell phone. He and Meredith had managed to get his family on board; not that he hadn't expected to be able to with some effort. Her mother and sisters had taken Meredith out in search of a flower store and finding a reception hall. And they were all excited and confident they could do this. The next part would be harder. Meredith needed her family with her. And that was up to him.

He scrolled through his contacts list until he found the number he was looking for and waited as it rang. It was early afternoon in New York, so Derek was hoping Richard would be out of his morning surgery.

"Chief Webber's office, Patricia speaking, how can I help you?"

"Hi, Patricia, it's Derek."

"Dr. Shepherd?"

"Yes." He paused. "I need to speak to Richard."

"I'm not sure if he's available..."

"Is he in his office?"

"Well, yes..."

"Tell him it's important."

"Of course, Dr. Shepherd." Derek sighed, his hand coming to rest along the bridge of his nose. He was already on edge. He didn't need to be taking it out on Patricia. She came back on the line. "He says he'll talk to you. I'll just transfer the call..."

"Thank-you."

The phone line went silent and then rang twice.

"Derek." Richard greeted, his voice a mixture of surprise and curiosity. Derek had not initiated contact with him for some time. In fact, Derek had barely spoken to the older man at all for two months.

"Richard." Derek removed his hand and sat upright, preparing himself for the conversation.

"What can I do for you?" His voice was worried following Derek's continued silence.

Derek sighed. "I need a favour. I need you to find a way to get some time off for Yang, Stevens, O'Malley and Karev."

"Derek, what is this about?"

"Meredith and I are getting married."

"I know that, Derek..."

"We're getting married this weekend."

Silence.

And for a moment, Derek felt sorry for the man. "We just decided. And we need for Mer's friends to be here. At least the four of them."

"That's awfully short notice, Derek."

"They're her family. They need to be here."

Richard sighed heavily. "This really isn't fair to everyone else..."

"That's bull, and you know it."

"Derek-"

"No. We have worked every holiday, been called in on our days off, been kept far past the maximum eighty hours numerous times without complaints. You've gotten other people off at short notice before. And it's the end of the year, the interns are almost residents. They can be assigned to someone else for a few days. You won't miss a few second year residents and an intern."

"Derek-"

"You owe me."

He was silent again.

"And if you can, we'd really like to invite Bailey and Lexie Grey as well."

Richard sighed. "Derek, I am sorry about what happened. I was out of line."

"Yeah, you were."

"I _am_ sorry, Derek, do you realize that?"

Derek paused. "Sometimes."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"But you did." He felt his anger rising. "I love that woman more than anything else in the world. And that you would think that I could..." He trailed off. "I respected you, Richard, for a long time. And I never realized how you felt about me."

"I overreacted, Derek. It wasn't a measure on how much I respect you."

"No. If that were true, it would never have happened."

"Derek-"

"No." He was done discussing this. "This isn't what I called to talk about. I love her, Richard, and I need for her to be happy. And she needs her family with her this weekend. You owe me. And you owe her." He _was_ partially the reason she had a surrogate family and not a biological one.

"I'll see what I can do, Derek," he said quietly. "O'Malley, Yang, Stevens, Karev, Bailey, the other Grey... Is that all? Torres, maybe?"

"We thought it would be too awkward with George there..." And there were a number of people they would have invited for a wedding in Seattle, but were not close enough to warrant an invite all the way to New York.

"Of course." He sighed, his heavy exhale resounding through the phone line. There was a long pause.

Derek knew what he was waiting for. Meredith had left it up to him whether or not to invite the chief. And right now Derek couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Alright, Derek, I'll get back to you first thing tomorrow morning."

He hesitated. "Richard... I... Thank-you."

"Goodbye, Derek."

The phone line went dead in Derek's hand and he slowly flipped shut his cell and tossed it across the room to land on the bed, and watched as it bounced across the mattress before coming to rest near the center.

_It had been an abnormally sunny day in Seattle. The temperature was as high as it got in March. The roads were clear and dry, leaving the ER relatively free. It had been an easy work day; no unstable patients, no emergency surgeries, no last minute complications. _

_"Dude, I'm still telling you, the ump was blind."_

_Derek rolled his eyes at Mark's insistence. "You're just a sore loser."_

_"He was totally calling unfairly against Los Angeles." They were returning to the hospital after an afternoon baseball game; Seattle Mariners vs. Los Angeles Angels. Mark was an Angels fan. He had done most of his residency in Los Angeles before transferring to New York. _

_"That makes him prejudice, not blind," Derek shot back. _

_Mark shook his head. "Be nice to me, or you'll find yourself walking home. Mark had driven this time, and Derek needed to pick his car up from the hospital._

_Derek laughed. "You wouldn't dare."_

_Before Mark could respond, Derek jumped as the cell phone in his pocket vibrated. He had turned off the ringer for the game. He didn't recognize the number._

_"Hello?"_

_"Hello," A very proper voice greeted him. "I have a collect call from a Meredith, will you accept the charges?"_

_Derek scrunched his forehead. "Yes." _Why would she be calling collect?

_There was a beep as the operator connected the call._

_"Mer?" He prompted, only to be greeted with the violent hiss of jerky breathing at the other end of the line. "Meredith, are you there?" He swallowed hard, nervousness suddenly clamping onto his heart like a vice. _

_Mark silently reached to turn off the radio._

_Derek heard a small whimper as she gasped for breath. And he felt his heart jump into his throat. "Meredith, you're scaring me. Are you okay? Please say something..." _

_"Derek..." She whispered. "I..."_

_"Are you okay?"_

_A pause. "No."_

_"Oh, god," he hissed. "I...What happened? Are you hurt?"_

_There was a painful hiss of static as she struggled for a breath, but he didn't dare pull the phone away. "Derek..." Her voice cracked, and he felt his eyes well with tears. He didn't know what was wrong. He didn't know what had happened. He didn't even know where she was. "Can you come and get me?" She pleaded; her voice barely a whisper._

_"Absolutely. Where are you?" He demanded._

_"I...don't know... I ran..."_

_He forced a breath of oxygen into his lungs, willing himself to stay calm. "Are you safe?" Mark pulled the car over._

_"I...yeah."_

_"Are you sure? Do you need me to call nine-one-one?"_

_"No." She said frantically. "No, Derek, please, don't go..."_

_His heart broke at her pleas. "I won't go anywhere. I can get Mark to call from his phone."_

_"No. Don't... I'm safe."_

_"You're absolutely sure?"_

_"Yeah."_

_He breathed a small sigh of relief. "Okay, now where are you?"_

_"I'm at a phone booth...beside a park..." She sobbed suddenly. "I...I don't know where...I just...ran."_

_"Are there streets signs? Or maybe an address in the phone booth?"_

_There was a scrambling noise as she turned and looked. "Yeah," she said quickly, her voice full of relief. "Yeah, there's an address on the phone." She quickly read it off, and Derek passed it along to Mark, who was already setting up his car's GPS system._

_"Okay, Mer, we're on the way," he tried to reassure her as Mark got them back on the road, travelling much more quickly than before._

_"Please don't hang up." She pleaded._

_"I won't. I promise."_

_She sucked in another violent breath, and he was overwhelmed with the need to be there with her. "I'm coming, Meredith. I'm coming as fast as I can. Are you still okay?" He needed to keep her talking, needed to know that she knew he was there. _

_"Yeah."_

_"I love you, Meredith. I love you more than anything else in the world. You know that, right?"_

_"Mmm-hmm." She was crying, but her breathing seemed to have become less violent._

_"Good." He covered the microphone with his free hand. "Can you go any faster?"_

_"Going as fast as I can," Mark answered calmly, but true to Derek's request, his foot fell a little heavier on the peddle. "We're not too far away."_

_Derek removed his hand. "We're almost there, Meredith. I'm almost there. Just hold on."_

_The tires squealed as Mark pressed harshly on the break when a curve in the road came up sooner than expected. The car staggered half way into the oncoming lane before it righted itself. Derek barely had a chance to be grateful there weren't any cars coming towards them. "We're pretty much there," Marks said tersely, motioning to the GPS screen._

_Derek continued whispering comforting phrases through the phone, keeping her connected to him while he glanced frantically around. A row of houses sat along the left side of the road, set back. To the right was a small park. He swallowed. She had mentioned a park. He caught sight of a phone booth and motioned to Mark to pull over. "We're there, Meredith," he spoke into the phone. _

_He was out of the car before it stopped moving, racing towards the phone booth. Meredith stepped out as he approached, uncharacteristically hunched, her arms wrapped tightly around her torso. She was dressed in jeans and a simple top. No jacket._

_"Meredith," he breathed, skidding to a stop in front of her. "Are you okay?" He cupped her face with his hands, but she hissed and pulled away. "Oh...god..." he gently ran his fingers around the darkening bruise on her right jaw and cheek. "What happened?"_

_Her beautiful grey-green eyes filled with tears and he felt his own breathing hitch. "Please tell me you're okay..."_

_She offered him a small nod. "I want to go home."_

_He pressed his lips together, his hand traveling down her neck and shoulders to her arms. She wasn't just clutching at her torso, her left arm was supporting her right. "Can I see?" He asked softly._

_She released her wrist into his care, but repeated her earlier statement. "I want to go home."_

_It was swollen. "Meredith, I'm so sorry, but you need to go to the hospital." The bruise looked suspiciously like a hand; long, dark fingers wrapped around her forearm._

_She shook her head. "No. Derek, please... I just want to go home."_

_Tears fell from his eyes. "Your arm is broken. You need to go to the hospital."_

_"Derek..."_

_He wrapped her in his arms, careful of any other injuries. "Mer, what happened?"_

_She shook her head against his chest._

_He sighed and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Meredith. I love you so freaking much."_

_"I want to go home."_

_"Me too. But I can't take you home, Mer. I need to take you to the hospital. You need to get checked out."_

_Her breathing hitched and she whimpered in pain as she pulled away, her good hand wrapping around her torso. _

_He very carefully placed his hands along the sides of her ribs. "Please, let me take you to the hospital..." He pleaded._

_She squeezed her eyes shut. "I can't... I can't be a patient again. I can't have everyone know...again. I can't stand the thought of everyone staring...of everyone knowing..."_

_He nodded, his heart going out to her. "We don't have to go to the ER." He told her. "How about the clinic? Then we can be more discreet."_

_She stared into his eyes and nodded reluctantly. "Okay."_

_"Thank-you." He kissed her forehead. "Thank-you, Meredith."_

_She nodded as a shiver ran through her body, and he was pulling off his coat before he realized it._

_"Here," he carefully wrapped it around her shoulders. "Come on; let's get you in the car."_

_She stayed silent while he led her towards the car. Mark was leaning against the hood, arms crossed as he glanced suspiciously around the street, as if waiting for something to happen. "You okay, Grey?" He asked quietly, his eyes still shifting._

_She nodded as Derek led her past._

_"Can you get us to Grace?" Derek asked._

_Mark nodded. "As fast as I can." And with one last glance around the street, he stepped into the driver's seat while Derek settled himself next to Meredith in backseat, terrified of what might be wrong with her, but relieved she was no longer by herself, far away from him. _

_"It's going to be okay," he whispered into her hair, pressing his lips against her temple, hoping her wasn't lying to her. "I'm here."_

_"You promise?" She whispered._

_He closed his eyes. "I promise. I'm not going anywhere. I won't leave your side."_

_Mark had heard their conversation at the phone booth and he reached the hospital he pulled up to the entrance of the clinic without any instructions. _

_"We're here," Derek whispered. Meredith had grown silent and passive on the drive to the hospital. She was leaning against him, still clutching to her torso, her eyes squeezed shut. _

_She nodded enough to show she had heard him, but made no move to get out of the car._

_Derek sighed, stroking his fingers through her hair. "Mer?"_

_"Can we come back tomorrow?" She asked quietly, her voice scratchy from unshed tears. "If you just take me home, I'll come back tomorrow. I promise."_

_"I'd love to just take you home," he started softly. "But you need to get checked out. If your ribs are fractured you could have internal injuries..."_

_She shook her head and raised her eyes to his. "I don't. I know I don't."_

_"I want to believe you, but we need to make sure."_

_She swallowed hard and her eyes filled with tears._

_"It's late," he offered. "It'll be much busier if we come back tomorrow."_

_She hesitated. "Will you stay with me?"_

_"The entire time," he promised._

_"Okay," she conceded._

_Derek got out of the car and quickly made his way to Meredith's side, opening the door and helping her stand up. She glanced nervously around, her eyes searching for curious onlookers that would recognize them, but there was no one about at this time of night._

_"Come on," he prompted gently, placing his hand on her lower back and leading her in the front doors of the clinic as she hunched under the protection of his coat. The clinic was quiet at this time of night, only a few patients left. The rows of beds to their right were empty, and he led her to the end._

_"Excuse me," a familiar voice called from behind them. "You need to be checked in first..." Miranda Bailey trailed off when Derek turned his head and motioned for her to follow. She hurried to catch up, and quickly pulled the curtain shut behind them as Derek helped Meredith sit on the bed. "What the hell happened?"_

_"I don't know," Derek shook his head. "She called me..."_

_Bailey looked speechless as she leaned down to Meredith's level. "Meredith, what happened?"_

_Meredith averted her eyes and looked down, clutching her right arm in her left, both tucked carefully against her ribs. _

_"Where are you hurt?"_

_"I just need an x-ray of my ribs," she said quietly. "Derek won't take me home until he knows I don't have any internal injuries." Her voice was flat and robotic. She still wasn't making eye contact._

_"Do you think they're broken?"_

_Meredith reluctantly nodded. "Maybe."_

_"Can I see?" Bailey reached for the hem of her shirt. _

_Meredith didn't respond, and didn't move her arms to allow the contact._

_"I think her arm is broken too," Derek offered, carefully reaching for her joined arms. _

_She didn't say anything, but let Derek pull the sleeve back on her right forearm. In the light of the hospital, it was even darker, the bruising even more pronounced. Derek shook his head, his temper rising. Whoever did this was going to pay..._

_Miranda clicked her tongue and carefully pulled Meredith's shirt up, exposing her stomach and ribs. Her right side was beginning to bruise, from the hemline of her shirt down to her waist band. The left side boasted two already darkened bruises, high on her rib cage. It made Derek sick to know they were toe prints._

_The curtain opened behind them, revealing a shocked intern._

_"Dr. Smith!" Bailey reprimanded, dropping Meredith's shirt back down. _

_"I'm sorry, Dr. Bailey," she stuttered. "I thought this bed was empty..."_

_"Go get me new paperwork, so I can start a chart."_

_Dr. Smith nodded and quickly disappeared. _

_"I'm sorry, Meredith," Bailey told her. "I'll be right back." She stepped outside the curtain, and Derek could hear her speaking to the intern in hushed tones. _

_"Book an x-ray, Dr. Smith. And do not tell anyone about this. We need to keep some form of privacy."_

_"But, Dr. Bailey-"_

_"Dr. Grey deserves her privacy. Now go."_

_She re-entered through the curtain, passing Derek a clipboard. "I need you to fill this out, Derek." She turned to Meredith. "We'll get you to x-ray as soon as we can."_

_Meredith finally looked up, her eyes glistening. "I don't need it. Please. Please, Dr. Bailey. Tell Derek he can take me home. Please. I need to go home," She begged._

_The older resident reached for Meredith's good hand and squeezed reassuringly. "You know I can't do that, Meredith. Derek made the right decision to bring you here. But we'll get you home as soon as we can."_

_Meredith squeezed her eyes shut and nodded. _

_Derek sat beside her, his arm wrapping supportively around her back as he kissed the side of her head. She leaned into him, tears falling down her cheeks. Bailey met his eyes sadly and he shook his head. _

_"Now, Meredith, does anything else hurt?"_

_"No." Her voice was flat, but she was answering._

_"Just your ribs and your arm?"_

_"Yes."_

_"What about your head?" Bailey obviously hadn't missed the still darkening bruise on her cheek. _

_Meredith sighed. "A little."_

_"What, it hurts a little?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"How did you get the bruise? Were you hit? Or did you fall?"_

_Meredith squeezed her eyes shut and leaned more against him. Derek dropped his pen and rested his free hand on her knee, not knowing where else to put it to avoid hurting her any further. _

_"Meredith, I'm sorry, but you know we need to know..." Bailey prompted, making Derek infinitely glad he didn't have to do it. There was no way he would be able to push her when she was crying and broken in front of him. It was one time he didn't mind simply being the family member when she was the patient._

_"I...was hit," she admitted. "But I..."_

_"You what?"_

_"I fell too... I think I hit it when I fell..."_

_"Where?"_

_She lifted her good hand to the right side of her head, above her ear._

_Bailey gently pressed her fingers against it and Meredith flinched. "Okay, we're going to need to do a CT."_

_"No... Please, I'm okay. Please..."_

_"Meredith, we need to know you're okay."_

_"I just want to go home."_

_"I know." Bailey sighed and glanced at Derek. "I'll go and call up to radiology, see how soon we can get in." She stepped out of the room._

_"You hanging in there?" Derek asked quietly._

_"Mmm-hmm."_

_His kissed the side of her head. "I'm here."_

_"I know."_

_"Good. Do you want to lie down?"_

_"No."_

_"Okay." He removed his hand from her knee and went back to completing her paperwork, easily filing in her full name, address and medical history. She remained silent, her eyes closed, still leaning against his shoulder. _

_After several silent minutes, Bailey joined them again. "Okay, x-ray has an opening in about fifteen minutes." She turned to Derek, her eyes apologetic. "Derek, can you step out for a few minutes?"_

_He nodded and went to stand, but Meredith clutched onto him with her good hand. "No."_

_"Meredith," Bailey placated. "I just need to talk to you alone for a few minutes."_

_"No," she repeated firmly. "Please don't make him go."_

_"Hey," Derek murmured as he brushed the hair off of her forehead. "I won't go far."_

_She met his eyes, hers frantic. "You promised. You promised you would stay with me." She looked terrified of the thought of him leaving her alone; so much so that she had made him promise before she had allowed him to get her out of the car,_

_Derek hesitated, glancing between her and Miranda, his heart breaking at Meredith's pleading eyes. "I know I promised. But how about I just stand by the desk. I won't be far."_

_"No." She clutched onto his hand tighter and turned to Bailey. "Please don't make him go. Whatever you need to talk about, just say it. I don't care if he hears."_

_Bailey hesitated. "Really, Grey, I need to ask you a few questions that you should be alone for..."_

_"You can ask me anything. I promise I'll tell you the truth. I promise, just don't make him leave."_

_"Meredith..."_

_"He'll find out anyway. I'll tell him anyway." She was still clutching him tightly with good arm._

_Bailey sighed and relented. "Okay, if you're sure."_

_Meredith sniffed, her hand loosening its grip on his in relief that he would stay without her holding him there. "I am." She leaned into him again as sat back down beside her._

_Miranda sighed and pulled up the visitor chair, sitting heavily. "I need to know what happened."_

_"I can't." Meredith shook her head. "It doesn't matter."_

_"Meredith, it's obvious someone did this to you. You should file a report..."_

_She shook her head. "No. I can't deal with that. Not today. Tomorrow. Right now I just want to go home."_

_"Okay. It doesn't have to be today. But Meredith, I need to know if..." She trailed off, glancing uncertainly at Derek._

_"What?" Meredith asked quietly._

_Miranda avoided Derek's gaze and met Meredith's evenly, her voice becoming more professional as she distanced herself. "I need to know if I need to do a pelvic exam."_

_Derek's breath caught as he understood why Miranda had wanted him out of the area. It wasn't a question he was sure he could stand the answer to._

_"A... No." Meredith said quickly. She glanced frantically between the two of them. "No," she repeated, meeting Derek's eyes, as if it were the most important thing that he believe it._

_"Hey," he said softly. "Whatever happened was not your fault, Meredith. We'll deal with it together. I promise." He shook his head. "There is absolutely nothing that could make me walk away from you."_

_Meredith shook her head. "I don't need a pelvic exam."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_She nodded. "I promise. It wasn't..." She glanced at Bailey and then back at him. He understood. She was telling the truth. And she didn't want to tell the story in front of her boss. _

_"Okay," Miranda said. "If that's the case, then let's get you up to radiology."_

_0_

_They had returned to the peacefulness of the clinic without having received any excessive staring through the hospital. Meredith had walked to her tests, to avoid the suspiciousness inherent in using a wheel chair. She was currently lying on the clinic bed, calmer than she had been since he had received the phone call he now feared he would remember for the rest of his life. _

_Mark had met them as they returned to the clinic. He had parked his car and wasn't planning on leaving until he knew Meredith was okay, and was currently helping out in the clinic with the rest of the patients to ensure Bailey could focus on Meredith. _

_Derek had momentarily left Meredith's side to join Bailey beside the bed to stare at the films posted on the wall lights. Her forearm was definitely broken. A jagged break though her radius; a classic sign of twisting. _

_"We should probably get Torres in to look at that," Bailey remarked quietly. _

_Derek nodded and turned to offer Meredith a small smile, his heart fluttering when she returned it. She still wasn't talking about what had happened, but she was less passive then she had been, and had stopped demanding she be taken home. And most importantly, she knew he was there for her. He turned back to the wall._

_Her right side only showed one minor fracture on a rib, probably a result of the fall she had alluded to. Her left side, however, had three breaks. Three ribs. She had been kicked. Hard. His only relief was that they weren't subluxed, meaning they weren't doing damage to anything internally. And her head CT had been clear; he had evaluated it himself. _

_"I'll go page Torres," Bailey told him, stepping outside the curtain. _

_Derek sat in the chair beside the bed. Meredith was mostly on her right side, her knees drawn up part way to her chest. Her broken arm was resting on the bed beside her, wrapped with an icepack. She lifted her good hand away from her ribs and reached for him. He smiled and weaved his fingers though hers. _

_"How are you doing?" She had been given a pain killer, so she should be relatively okay physically._

_"Okay." _

_"You sure?"_

_"You're here," she said simply._

_He smiled. "I am."_

_She opened her mouth to say something, but they were cut off by the sounds of an argument erupting outside the curtain._

_"Chief, what are you doing here?" Bailey's voice called. Several pairs of footsteps came to a stop right outside the curtains. _

_"Dr. Bailey." He sounded angry. "I'm disappointed in you."_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"What's going on?" Mark had joined the discussion._

_Richard scoffed. "It figures you're part of this too."_

_"I don't know what you're talking about..."_

_There was a scuffle and the curtains rustled, but didn't open._

_"Chief!" Bailey again. "You can't go in there. She deserves privacy."_

_"She deserves protection!"_

_"What are you talking about... No, Chief!" But Richard had gotten past them and flung the curtain open. _

_Derek was up in a flash, meeting Richard at the foot of the bed, trying to maintain some boundaries. "Chief," he said as calmly as he could. "Dr. Bailey is right. Meredith deserves privacy. She has a right to privacy." He knew Richard held a sense of protectiveness over Meredith, and had made that infamous promise to Ellis, but he tended to go overboard. And what Meredith needed right now was privacy. _

_However, he was unprepared for the way Richard's eyes flashed at him. "She has a right to safety."_

_"What the hell are you trying to imply?"_

_Richard glared at him. "I trusted you with her."_

_Derek gaped. "You think I did this? Are you fucking kidding me?" He went to return to Meredith's side, but Richard grabbed onto his wrist. "What the hell are you doing?"_

_"If you don't leave on your own, I will have security escort you."_

_Derek struggled to get away. Meredith was crying, reaching towards him, but he couldn't get to her. Two uniformed security guards came through the curtains and had him restrained immediately. "Let me go," he shouted. "Let me go. I didn't do this. I would never do this..."_

_Meredith was struggling to get out of bed, but Richard pushed her back down. She was yelling his name. Mark stepped forward, trying to force the security guards to release their grips, but it was no use. A third appeared, and Derek had no chance against the three of them. "Stay with her," he yelled to Mark as his best friend stepped forward to try and help him. "I promised her I wouldn't leave. You need to stay."_

000

Meredith bit her lower lip as her eyes took in the sights around her, making her feel more than a little overwhelmed. An array of bright colours jumped out from all directions; solid colours, combinations, arrangements. This was not something she had ever had any experience with. And yet she was expected to be able to look around and decide exactly how to combine these things into something beautiful. She swallowed hard, wishing Derek had come with them; at least then she wouldn't be lost by herself. Although, she reasoned, he probably wouldn't have a problem with the task.

"What kind of arrangements are you thinking of?" Rita, the florist, asked.

Meredith blinked and shook her head. "Uh, I'm not really sure."

"I'm sorry, did you want more time to browse?"

She bit back a laugh. "I don't think that would help. I'm not exactly..." She trailed off. "I've never really done this before, so I don't really know about flowers and stuff..."

Rita offered her a supportive smile, her hand landing on Meredith's forearm. "That's fine, dear, I'll walk you through it."

"Thanks." Meredith breathed a sigh of relief as she felt a swell of gratitude for the older woman for not leaving her on her own, and not making her feel incapable for needing help. Carol and all four sisters had taken her out to make plans for the reception and order flowers. After a few stops, they had found a golf and country club with a kitchen staff who were more than willing to do a small reception on Saturday. And the best part was that they had a full array of large tents and outdoor equipment for large events they hosted on their own land. They were going to show up at the Shepherd house on Friday afternoon to set up, and then come back on Saturday to cater and serve the dinner. It even meant they would have shelter for the ceremony if it happened to be raining. Carol, Kathleen and Nancy had stayed at the golf club to sort out the number of tents and equipment and place settings and dance floor and a host of other things Meredith was glad they could handle, because she had no idea. And her guilt of sticking them with the decision was vastly outweighed by the fact that they all seemed genuinely excited.

She, Anna and Natalie had taken the other car to the flower store. And Anna and Natalie were keeping out of the way, trying to allow Meredith her own space to make her decision. Apparently flowers were a big thing.

"First things first, are you looking for something traditional, like roses, or more colourful and modern?"

"More colourful and modern," Meredith answered easily. "We're not all that traditional."

Rita smiled warmly at her. "And do you have a theme colour to work around?"

"I think so; like a purple?"

"Is that a question?" She asked with a laughing smile.

"I guess not. I'm just not really sure of that's good or not..."

"If it's what you and your fiancé want then it will be perfect."

"Okay, then purple," she stated with more confidence.

"Hmm, purple is an excellent choice, not used as commonly, but one of my favourites. A darker purple is tied to royalty and ceremony; perfect for a wedding. And a lighter purple represents grace and elegance; very sacred. I would definitely recommend it for your bouquet...maybe a combination of lavender and some purple tulips and something white to offset them." She hummer to herself as she glanced around her shop. "Maybe lilies...maybe white roses...maybe hydrangea..." She moved easily around the store, picking out the flowers she had named, and artfully arranging them into a small bouquet. She held it up to Meredith when she was finished, and nodded approvingly. "I definitely like something like this for you. You have very delicate features; something simple and elegant suits you." Rita held the bouquet out, and Meredith gingerly wrapped her fingers around it. She glanced down at the arrangement of flowers and cautiously bent her head to sniff them, her lips curling upwards at the familiar smell of lavender; Derek would be pleased.

"I like it," she said quietly, turning to her soon to be sisters-in-law for their approval.

"Oh, I love it," Natalie stated, stepping forward for a closer inspection.

"Very pretty," Anna added.

"Wonderful," Rita added with a smile. "And do you want something similar for your bridesmaids?"

Meredith nodded. "Yeah, but maybe with a little more white? Their dresses are purple..."

"Sounds perfect." She took the small bouquet from Meredith and proceeded to make some notes on a pad of paper on the front desk before returning. "Alright, now centerpieces for the tables. Do you want something similar again, or more colourful?"

"Uh...more colourful," Meredith said carefully, her eyes on Anna and Natalie for their reaction.

Rita clicked her tongue. "Don't be looking for their approval. This is your wedding, dear. _You_ need to be happy."

Meredith smiled sheepishly. "Sorry." She laughed as she met Anna's eyes. Anna was also laughing at her.

"Yeah, Mer," she added. "You're on your own. I already had to do the flower thing once."

"So," Rita prompted. "More colours?"

Meredith nodded.

"Hmm..." She began wandering once again, pulling out a few single purple flowers, of differing shades, heights and shapes. "I've also added some lilacs," she motioned to a particular flower. "They represent sincere love. Now, what else..." She reached for a dark blue flower. "Blue is good; very peaceful. These are irises...very light, but add to the look. And maybe some delphinium..." She reached for a long stem of small flowers. "That will give some shape." She clicked her tongue a few times and strode towards another corner of the store. "We'll need a touch of pink," she remarked, reached for another flower. "Pink is also very graceful, and represents happiness. Oh...and yellow." She reached for another flower. "Yellow is very important. It signifies friendship. I always demand my wedding bouquets have a touch of yellow. Alstroemeria are wonderful with anything..."

000

The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon when Natalie, Anna and Meredith pulled up at the Shepherd house. The car Carol and her other two daughters had gone out in was already back. Meredith was tired. "Planning a wedding is exhausting," she commented as she stepped out of the car.

Natalie laughed. "And you only have to put up with it for a few days. It took Phil and I over a year to do this."

Meredith shook her head. "I can't even imagine."

"Well he has about a million family members, so it took a long time." Phil was the middle child of seven, all of whom were also married with children of their own. His father had over thirty grandchildren.

Meredith laughed. "Something else I can't imagine."

"Hey," Anna stated, "You won't have to imagine soon. By the end of the week you'll have your own huge family."

The comment was meant to be light and joking, but Meredith felt tears well in her eyes. She had never had a family before. "Yeah..." She choked out, trying to sound nonchalant.

Anna sighed, slinging her arm around Meredith comfortingly. "Hey, I didn't mean to make you cry..."

"I'm not." Meredith sniffed.

Anna laughed. "Like hell you're not."

"I'm sorry. I just..." She trailed off.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"It's just..." Meredith tried again. "Right now my family includes Derek and four friends I work with." She shook her head. "I've never really known anything else except an overbearing, ignorant mother."

"Well, pretty soon you'll know an over involved, nosey mother. And three very similar sisters and-" Natalie was cut off by her sister.

"_Three_ sisters?" Anna prompted.

Natalie nodded. "Of course. I'm not lumping myself in that category..."

Anna rolled her eyes and Meredith laughed.

"If that's the case, tell her she's getting _two_ nosey sisters, and two perfect ones," Anna said.

Natalie nodded again. "You're right, Kathleen doesn't deserve to be in that category either..."

Anna huffed and turned to Meredith. "You know what? Maybe you were lucky not to have siblings."

Meredith offered a small, watery smile. "Seriously, you guys don't know how lucky you were."

"Ah," Anna said quietly, pulling Meredith into a quick hug. "We do know. And we know how lucky we are to be getting another wonderful sister."

Meredith squeezed her eyes tightly shut as she struggled not to cry. "Thanks," she said quietly.

Anna smiled at her, but Natalie was suddenly observing her through narrowed eyes.

"What?" She asked, suddenly self conscious.

Natalie hesitated. "I just...I mean...Are you..." She trailed off and Meredith exchanged a puzzled look with Anna.

"We don't have all day, Nat," Anna prompted.

Natalie ignored her and met Meredith eyes, searching for something. "Are you pregnant?" She finally asked.

Meredith blinked and quickly shook her head. "No. Why?"

"Well, you're a little emotional..."

"The woman's getting married in five days," Anna reminded.

Natalie nodded. "Exactly. You're emotional _and_ you two suddenly decided to get married right away..."

Anna looked about to say something, but paused, a thoughtful expression on her face. "She does have a point."

They both turned expectantly to Meredith. "If you are, we won't tell anyone," Natalie said, her eyes sparkling.

Meredith shook her head. "I'm not pregnant."

Anna smiled, and Meredith rolled her eyes. "I'm not," she reiterated.

Natalie surveyed her for a long moment before nodding. "Okay," she said, but her voice betrayed her belief. She led them to the front door and they quickly bumped into Derek in the living room, dressed comfortably, with a glass of beer in his hand. He smiled at them before exchanging a long, confused look with his older sister.

"What was that all about?" He asked Meredith as Natalie collapsed onto the couch, still in earshot.

"Oh," Meredith told him as he lifted his glass to his mouth. "You sister thinks I'm pregnant."

Derek coughed as he almost choked on drink. "She what? Why?" He glanced at his sister and back to Meredith.

She couldn't help the smile on her face at his expression. "Because I'm apparently overly emotional and because we decided to get married so quickly."

Anna sat beside her sister. "There is supportive evidence there, big brother." Natalie nodded.

Derek stared at them before turning back to Meredith, an eyebrow raised. "But you're not, right?"

Meredith rolled her eyes and reached for his beer. She pulled it out of his grasp and quickly brought it to her mouth. After swallowing several gulps she gave it back to him. "There. Does that answer your question?"

He laughed and pressed his lips against her forehead. "Either that or you're a very bad doctor..."

She laughed and leaned into his warmth.

"Crap," Natalie muttered. "I was all excited for nothing..."

"What do you mean for nothing?" Derek asked. "There's still a wedding to be excited for."

"It's not the same..."

He scoffed. "Well, I think it's pretty exciting."

"Me too," Meredith murmured with a smile as he dipped his head down to capture her lips.


	5. NAME

**NAME**

'_When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.'__  
__-- Anon._

**- Tuesday -**

_"So, what are you going to do about your name?" Izzy prompted._

_Meredith turned on the bar stool, facing her former roommate. "I don't know." It was Tuesday evening, and she was waiting for Derek to get out of surgery, and had joined Izzy and Cristina at Joe's._

_"Hmmm..." Izzy trailed off, sipping her drink. "Meredith Shepherd." She paused, letting the unfamiliar term slip into her slightly intoxicated conscious. "Meredith Grey-Shepherd." She paused again. "Meredith Shepherd-Grey." This time she scowled and shook her head. She turned back to Meredith. "No, I definitely don't like the last one. That's out."_

_Meredith laughed and exchanged a look with Cristina, who was sitting kitty-corner along the bar. She looked exasperated with her roommate's topic of conversation._

_"Meredith Shepherd," Izzy was mumbling again. "Meredith Grey-Shepherd. Meredith Shepherd. Meredith Grey-Shepherd." She smiled. "Meredith Grey-Shepherd," she repeated with a confirmatory nod. "That's definitely the one."_

_"_Doctor_ Meredith Grey-Shepherd," Cristina interjected with a roll of her eyes. "Seriously; being McDreamy's wife isn't going to take away the title."_

_"Fine, Doctor Meredith Grey-Shepherd." Izzy turned to Meredith. "It's got my vote."_

_"Grey-Shepherd," she found herself mumbling thoughtfully, not that she hadn't been doing this for four days in her head. It definitely didn't sound bad to her._

_Izzy smiled broadly. "Isn't it perfect? And so cute..."_

_Cristina scoffed. "It's a name; it doesn't get to be called cute."_

_"But it is, adorable even," Izzy gushed._

_Cristina buried her face in her hands with a noise that could only be described as exasperated. She turned her head sideways in her hands to meet Meredith's gaze. "You cannot go by Grey-Shepherd if she's going to go all mushy every time she hears it."_

_"She can go by whatever she wants, and I think she should hyphenate."_

_Meredith smiled. "I definitely need to think about it."_

_"What's there to think about? It's perfect."_

_"Yeah Mer, it's perfect," Cristina mocked, causing Izzy to glare at her._

_Meredith laughed, turning to answer Izzy's question. "I just...what if I make the wrong choice?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"What if I choose the wrong name for the wrong reason?"_

_Cristina shrugged. Her opinion was clear. She would never change her name for a guy._

_Meredith turned back to Izzy. "Like, what if I stick with Grey, to avoid having two Shepherds at work?"_

_"There's already two Grey's," Cristina reminded. "You wouldn't be creating confusion, only transferring it."_

_"And Grey-Shepherd would be the perfect solution to that," Izzy interjected._

_Meredith rolled her eyes. "You two are immensely helpful, have I ever told you that?"_

_"Sorry," Izzy said quickly. Cristina shrugged. _

_"Okay, back to your question, you don't want to make the wrong choice for the wrong reason..."_

_Meredith nodded. _

_"Well, you have to make the decision for yourself; not for him or for work."_

_"Is he pushing for you to change?" Cristina asked._

_Meredith shook her head. "No. He's being annoyingly 'it's your choice' about it."_

_"Do you want to change your name?" Izzy asked._

_Meredith sighed. "I just... I don't know. I don't want to create confusion at work, but I also don't exactly like being a Grey."_

_"You mean it would give you some distance from your mother."_

_"Yeah, among other things. I really want to start over, but...does that make me old fashioned? You know, changing my name and everything?"_

_"A little bit, yeah," Cristina agreed._

_"That's not true," Izzy argued. "It's not old fashioned. It's letting the world know that you're married, that you want to be seen as attached to the man you love."_

_"Exactly, old fashioned."_

_"It is not."_

_"It is."_

_"Guys!" Meredith cut in. "Seriously not helping."_

_"You just have to do what's right for you," Izzy repeated. _

_Meredith nodded, knowing it would take some time to think about, even if in the back recesses of her mind, she was pretty sure she knew what she wanted to be called._

_"But just keep in mind," she continued, "That Grey-Shepherd combines who you are now with who you will be. And it doesn't create problems at the hospital, it solves one."_

_"Nice sales pitch Stevens, you're in the wrong profession," Cristina said sarcastically._

_Meredith laughed, and smiled when she felt a warm hand land on her lower back. "Hey," she leaned back against his chest as his hand snaked down to her waist._

_"Hey," he pressed his lips against the top of her head. _

_She reached for his hands and pulled them around her waist, ignoring her best friend's eye roll at their blatant PDA. Right now she didn't care. Right now she was newly engaged to the man of her dreams. Right now she was happy. "How's your patient?"_

_"He'll be fine."_

_"Good."_

_"Yeah." He crouched and rubbed his cheek against hers, the roughness of his day old stubble rubbing her smooth cheek. "And how are you? I haven't seen you all day."_

_"I'm great," she responded, squeezing his hands and leaning her cheek against his, revelling in the closeness. She'd never get tired of it._

_"I'm so going to need another drink," Cristina mumbled, signalling Joe for a refill._

_Meredith laughed. "We've been talking about what I should do about my name when we get married."_

_He closed his arms tighter around her and sighed. "And..." He prompted._

_"Well, I still have to think about it, but Izzy has decided that I should hyphenate."_

_He laughed. "Grey-Shepherd or Shepherd-Grey."_

_"Grey-Shepherd, she doesn't like Shepherd-Grey."_

_"Yeah, that doesn't sound good at all," Derek said lightly, going along with her. _

_Izzy rolled her eyes. "I was just trying to help."_

_"She's been making a freaking sales pitch for it."_

_Izzy glared at Cristina. "I am not. I'm just excited that two of my friends are getting married. What's wrong with that?"_

_Meredith smiled as Derek pressed his lips against her cheek. "Nothing's wrong with that at all."_

_000_

It was almost ten in the morning when she and Derek headed up the front steps of the large government building. They had had to drive for close to an hour from Carol's house to the closest city hall office they could apply for a marriage license. So they had decided to go just the two of them.

"Here we are," Derek stated, holding open the front door for her.

"Here we would have been sooner if you had followed my directions."

He scoffed. "Not necessarily."

She laughed as he reached for her hand. Even though he had grown up in the area, he had gotten turned around on the side streets of the town, all the while ignoring her suggestions. "Yes necessarily," she countered.

He shook his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Admit that I'm always right."

"Not yet you aren't."

She felt the corner of her lips being pulled upwards. "You know, you aren't going to be able to say that soon..."

He paused and turned to her. "I guess I won't."

She bit her lip. Yesterday had felt surreal, but today she had woken up feeling like it was real. In less than a week she was going to be his wife. They had filled the drive with relatively superficial talk; the rest of the plans for the day, the things they needed to accomplish that week, when Richard would get back to Derek. They had stayed away from the deep seated conversation revolving around the change that would take place in their lives in only four days. But that hadn't meant they weren't both thinking about it. It didn't mean they hadn't spent the car ride exchanging excited glances and hand squeezes, an air of enthusiasm filling their lungs and spreading through every cell of their bodies.

He tilted his head, gazing dreamily at her. "But I guess what I get in exchange will be worth it..."

She raised an eyebrow. "You guess?"

He chortled, his teeth flashing as he unsuccessfully attempted to bite back a laugh. He paused and wrapped his strong arms around her. "I know," he corrected. "I _know_ it will be worth it."

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too."

She smiled as the familiar sense of warmth and happiness and belonging swept over her. There was nowhere else she would rather be right now. This was the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with. This was the man she would marry in a short number of days. This was the man who loved her.

He narrowed his eyes at her distant expression. "You're sure about this?" Making phone calls and booking restaurants and ordering flowers was one thing, applying for a marriage license was another entirely.

She gripped tightly to the fabric of his shirt and smiled. "Very. You?"

He kissed her. "Absolutely."

"Good."

"Good."

She laughed. "Okay, let's do this thing."

He released her from his arms and reached again for her hand, leading the two of them through the halls, following the signs. The line up wasn't long when they got there, only one couple finishing up with their application. Tuesday mornings weren't exactly busy times for applying to get married.

They waited patiently, still gripping tightly to the other's hand, before smiling widely when they were called up.

"Good morning," the receptionist greeted. "How can I help you today?"

"We need a marriage license," Derek answered easily.

"Congratulations," she responded. "I'm Lisa, and I'll walk you through the process."

"Thanks."

"When is the wedding?"

"Saturday," Meredith answered with a smile.

"Wow, that's soon."

She felt her heart constrict with sudden fear. "Is that okay?"

Lisa smiled reassuringly. "Absolutely. The waiting period is only twenty-four hours. But normally couples come in a month or so ahead of time to take care of this."

Derek nodded. "Yeah, we're doing everything a little last minute."

Lisa nodded, but did not ask for any further explanation. "Okay, here's your form." She placed a legal form down in front of them. "After your wedding, it needs to be signed and returned by the individual performing the ceremony. I assume you already have someone?"

Derek nodded, taking the lead. They had chosen an old family friend of Derek's mom. She had gone to school with him, and he had spent several years as a minister before retiring. He quickly recorded the required information onto the form.

"And have either of you been married previously? If so, I need a copy of a legal divorce certificate."

Derek rifled through his bag before extracting the document he had had faxed by his lawyer the day before. "Here it is," he passed it across.

Lisa took a moment to read it and nodded. "This is fine." She glanced at Meredith. "And you haven't been married previously?"

Meredith shook her head. "No."

"Great, I think that's all of the extra stuff." She passed the form to them and motioned to a table across the waiting area. "I need you to fill out your personal information, and then return this to me, make a payment of forty dollars and you'll be all done," she said brightly.

"Thanks," Meredith told her, clutching onto the legal paper. She turned and numbly followed Derek across the room to the free table, and placed the form between them so they could both read it. But she found she couldn't make out any of the words anyway; they were blurring as she tried to focus through the liquid acting as an extra lens in her eyes.

"You okay?" Derek's soft voice cut through her trance and she glanced up to meet his deep blue eyes.

"Yeah." She sniffed. "I'm perfect."

His brow furrowed as he stepped closer and hooked a supportive arm around her waist. "You don't look perfect. You're crying..."

She swallowed hard and nodded, wiping at her cheeks. "Good crying," she assured him.

His lips turned upwards as his eyes took on a hue she couldn't get enough of. "Promise?"

"I promise." She reached her arms around his neck and pulled him in close, her breathing bordering on shaky. "I just can't believe we're actually doing this."

He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled. "Me neither."

After several seconds, Meredith reluctantly pulled herself from his arms. "Okay, if we're going to do this, we have to actually _do _this." She motioned at the form and he nodded.

"Right."

Together, they quickly recorded their personal information, leaving only one box to fill out. Meredith's name. The fine print under the line specifically stated that she was to record the name she planned on using upon being married. She would need to officially change her name with the government for tax purposes, but if she intended on using a different name after the wedding, she would need to put it on record now.

"Mer," Derek prompted gently, watching her closely, her hand poised with the pen tip just above the form, frozen.

She nodded, pressing the tip of the pen down, but not writing anything. "I know."

"It's completely your choice," he continued. "You need to be happy."

"I know."

"And I'll be happy with whatever you decide."

"I know."

"And I-"

"Derek." She cut him off. "You just need to give me a minute here."

"Sorry." He wrapped an arm around her waist and pressed his lips against the side of her head. "I'm shutting myself up."

"Thanks." She leaned into his warmth and lifted the pen off the page once more, taking advantage of her moment. She could remember the first time the conversation revolving around her name had ever come up, months before they had even been engaged.

"_Do you want me to change my name?"_ She had asked. Their relationship had become very solid, and they had been living together for several months. Their future had been coming up more and more.

_"Only if you want to."_

_ "I get that it's my choice, but I've never really thought about it before. Is it important to you?"_

_He was silent for several seconds as he thought. "It would be an honour," he said truthfully. "If you took my name, it would be an honour, but you are a very independent woman, and I respect that completely. And we work together, so I understand that it may become confusing."_

He would support her whatever she chose. And the hospital shouldn't be a major factor in her decision. But she didn't want to cause confusion by becoming a Shepherd. And if she was completely honest with herself, she didn't want to be a Grey anymore. And hyphenating made her name feel long and herself feel disjointed, like she was trying to be two people. And she didn't want to have people look down on her for being anti-feminist for taking his name. And she didn't want people to look down on her for being too independent and not taking his name. And she didn't want to make either decision to avoid people looking down on her.

"Maybe I could just go as Meredith," she said lightly. "No last name, just Meredith."

"Like, Dr. Meredith?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, like Cher or Ghandi."

He snorted. "Nah, Meredith is too long for that. If you're going to go by the first name, it's got to be one or two syllables tops. You just can't cut it with three..."

"Hmmpff." She rolled her eyes at his humour.

He sighed, once again closing his arms around her small frame. "You need to pick what makes you happy."

"I know; but there are so many possible problems..." She didn't need to explain her issues with the topic he already knew them all.

"I understand that, but you can't let them influence this choice." He offered her a smile. "You need to close you eyes and forget all of the issues and think about what _you_ want, think about who _you_ want to be."

She sighed and closed her eyes for several seconds. And when she opened them, she stepped out of his arms and back up to the table. And this time, when the pen met the paper, she didn't hesitate to record exactly what she wanted.

And when she was finished, she felt nothing but a sense of relief at finally having made a decision; the right decision. She smiled and passed him the form. He took it and she watched as his eyes darted across the page to find the appropriate box. His gaze froze for several seconds before he glanced back up at her.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely; you know I'm never wrong..."

000

They had stopped for lunch on the way back to his mothers, and were seated in a quaint little pizzeria when Derek's cell phone rang. He didn't need to look at the caller ID to know who was calling him. Meredith met his eyes, hers suddenly taking on a dark, worried depth that he hated to see. She deserved the world, and here she was worried she would have to get married without her family. But Derek was prepared to fight for her if he had to. She needed her family with her.

"Richard," he spoke into the phone as a greeting.

"Derek," Richard's voice filtered through to him. "Am I catching you at a good time? I'm sorry I'm a little later than I expected."

"No, it's fine. We're just having a bite to eat." He smiled reassuringly across the table.

"Good." There was a short pause. "Well, I have good news. I managed to schedule Yang, Stevens, Karev and O'Malley off starting tomorrow, until next Monday."

Derek breathed a sigh of relief, and quickly smiled at Meredith, motioning that all was well. And her responding smile took his breath away, destroying any lingering doubts he had had about calling Richard in the first place.

"I also pulled some strings to have Miranda and Lexie Grey off as well, that's actually why it took me longer this morning. However, I need them to work up to Thursday."

"That's fine. Thank-you, Richard."

"I... Is there anything else I can do for you, Derek?"

Derek hesitated, his anger stewing in that dark place inside him. As much as he wanted to take the high road and let it go, he just couldn't. In his mind he could still hear her cries as he was dragged from her bedside. "Uh, no, but thanks Chief... Thanks for making this happen."

Richard sighed heavily. "You're welcome, Derek. I...have a good wedding. I'll be thinking of you."

Derek swallowed hard, closing his eyes tightly at the pain in his former mentor's voice. "Thanks again," he bid as his farewell and quickly shut his phone.

Meredith gave him a supportive smile and reached to squeeze his hand. "It's okay, Derek."

"Then why do I feel so guilty?"

She shook her head. "Because it sucks. The whole thing sucks."

He offered her a wry smile. "Yeah, it does." He reached a hand to brush a lock of hair out of her face. "I wish every day that that never happened to you."

"Me too," she agreed, leaning against his hand. "But it's over now. I got through it...we," she corrected with a smile. "We got through it. And what the Chief did to you was horrible, Derek. I can't even... I know he feels protective of me and I know he made that promise, but accusing you wasn't even out of line. It was...it was..." She trailed off in search of an appropriate description. "It was absurd. It was completely absurd. And unreasonable. And stupid. And _way _out of line."

Derek smiled warmly at her. "Thanks."

She tilted her head. "For what?"

"For making me feel better."

She shrugged. "It's what I'm here for."

He laughed aloud, squeezing her hand. "That's supposed to be my line."

"I get to use it to. It's not like you invented it."

"Who says I didn't invent it?" He countered.

She rolled her eyes. "Because your mother says it." She could remember the previous Thanksgiving; when she had broken down in front of Carol, Nancy and Kathleen. The pressure of interacting with a family had gotten to her. They hadn't acted the way she had expected, and she hadn't known how to react. And after a day of being on the defensive for no reason, she had collapsed under the pressure when Carol began thanking her.

_"I was worried when Derek moved so far away so suddenly. I was so afraid he was throwing away his life. But, Meredith, he's happier than I've ever seen him. He has a new life. And a wonderful woman to share it with. He loves you so much, and it's obvious you love him too. I'm grateful for that; for you."_

_Silent tears streamed down her flushed cheeks as she finally found the courage to look up._

_"Meredith, you've reconnected me with my son, and now you're responsible for bringing Mark back as well. I understand that you're not used to a supportive family, but you're a good person. And you deserve to know what its like to be part of a family; our family. You're always welcome here, Meredith. You've brought our family back together. And you make my son happier than I ever could have hoped. Don't you see it? You mean so much to so many people. And you're here. Meredith, you're already family."_

_There was no hint of deception or exaggeration or even a radical attempt at reassurance behind Carol's words. And this time when she stepped forward, Meredith allowed her to gently pry her arms open and pull her in tight. After only a moment of hesitation, Meredith closed her arms around the older woman's frame. She breathed a last shuddery breath as a few stray tears made their way down the well worn path of her cheeks. It was the first time in her life that she had ever experienced something so comforting and relieving and... maternal._

_"Thank-you," Meredith whispered._

_"It's what I'm here for, dear."_

"Does she say it?" Derek was saying; half thoughtfully, half sarcastically. "I've never noticed before..."

She shook her head at him. "I'm sure..." She sighed. "Anyway, Derek, you don't need to feel guilty about the Chief; he dug his own graze or whatever. And from what everyone has been telling me, this wedding is about us and about what _we_ want and feel comfortable with. So...you're not allowed to feel guilty."

He raised an eyebrow. "I'm not allowed to feel guilty?"

"Nope."

He chuckled. "Well...I'll have to work on that. Will you remind me a few times?"

"Of course; any time." She smiled.

"Thanks." He silenced himself for several seconds before continuing. "What if...what if I'm not just feeling guilty?"

"Like...you want him there?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure. A part of me hates him, but there's this other little part that says...maybe I do want him there. Is that wrong?"

She squeezed his hand and furrowed her brow. "I don't think it's wrong."

"I hate him for what he did, for what he accused me of," he reiterated. "But in the end..." He trailed off and met her eyes. "In the end he had your best interest at heart. And I can't argue with that."

She offered him a small smile. "He was still out of line."

"He was," Derek agreed quickly. "But so was Alex, and we didn't shun him."

Meredith nodded. When Derek had brought her home after Susan had died, Alex had caught sight of the bruise forming on her cheek, and had grabbed onto Derek's arm to restrain him from following Meredith upstairs.

'_Don't think I'm going to let him anywhere near you if he's hurting you.'_

The difference with Alex had been simple. He had listened to reason. He had listened to _her._ This situation hadn't escalated like it had with Richard. "You're right," she agreed with Derek. "But that was almost a year ago. And Alex...has a history. And he didn't...there wasn't...it only lasted a minute or two. He listened to reason."

Derek nodded, accepting her answer. "You're right."

She smirked. "Of course I am; I'm always right."

He shook his head as a smile broke through his tense expression for several seconds, and then he sighed. "I think a part of me is worried I'm going to regret not having invited him. I've known him for my entire career. He's the reason I came out here; the reason I met you and am here now, getting married on Saturday." He sighed, meeting her gaze with his pained eyes. "He's the reason I met the love of my life and am so happy right now."

Meredith was surprised to find herself blinking back tears. "I never really thought about it that way..."

He nodded. "He hurt me. But he wasn't doing it to hurt me. He did it to protect you."

Meredith nodded. Richard had never intended to cause harm, only prevent it.

Derek shrugged. "Should I have invited him?"

She mirrored his shrug. "I don't know," she told him quietly.

"I don't either."

She sighed. "Well, it's only Tuesday. How about we think about it overnight. It won't be too late to call him tomorrow. Or even Thursday. That gives us some more time."

"Okay. That sounds...good."

She smiled at him. "I'm proud of you," she told him simply. He wouldn't be him if he wasn't the kind of guy to give second chances

"Do I get a prize for you being proud?" A hint of a smirk had replaced his anxious expression.

She laughed, and stood to lean across the table and place a short kiss on his lips.

He made a show of sighing when she sat back down. "That wasn't much of a prize..."

She smirked. "That was just a preview of the real prize..."

"Hmm, so what is the real prize?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Do I really have to spell it out for you?"

Derek laughed and rolled his eyes, refusing to respond. And he ignored her triumphant smirk. Right now he didn't care if she beat him at every playful argument they had for the rest of their lives. He tilted his head and smiled lovingly at her. "Hey, Mer, guess what?"

"What?"

"We're getting married in four days."

Nothing could have prepared him for the brilliant smile that appeared on her delicate features. "We are," she whispered.

He reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly. He hadn't truly allowed himself to believe they could pull this off until this moment. If her friends hadn't been able to make it, Derek wasn't sure if he could go through with the wedding. She needed her family with her, just as much as he needed his. And now it felt like no matter what problems they ran into, they would make it to Saturday, and everything would go off without a hitch; except for the obvious one, of course.

000

_Meredith couldn't wipe the gleeful smile off her face as she made her way to the resident locker room, ignoring the curious stares. It reminded her of the happiness she had felt after she and Derek had finally sat down and talked about everything they had been through together. She had been so happy and smiley that George had, jokingly, accused her of being high. And she had been nowhere near as happy then as she was now. Her relationship had reached a new level, but she hadn't even dreamed of the heights it had reached now._

_She pushed open the door and sighed in relief when she caught sight of her best friend getting changed to go home. She had been on call the night before, and Meredith had made Derek drive her in early to catch Cristina before she went home for the day. _

_"Good, you're still here."_

_"Not for long." Cristina pulled on her coat and slung her bag over her shoulder._

_"Can you hold on a sec, I need to talk to you?" Her body may have been screaming in pain and her mind may have been muddled and foggy, but Meredith could remember Cristina's relief at telling Meredith of her engagement so many months ago. It was important she tell Cristina first._

_"Mer, seriously, I've been here for twenty-four hours. I need some sleep."_

_"It'll just take a second," she promised._

_Cristina grumbled, but sensed a reason to Meredith's madness, so set her bag down and turned her attention to her person. "Make it quick."_

_Meredith rolled her eyes at Cristina's attempt to be a good listener, but she still couldn't help the smile that came to her lips. She took a breath. "Derek asked me to marry him."_

_Cristina shifted, standing up a little straighter, her eyes softening just a bit. "And?"_

_Meredith choked back a laugh. "Seriously? And? You think I'd be here telling you, all excited, if I had said no?"_

_Cristina snorted. "Just making sure. After all you two have been through, I'd have to kick your ass if you said no and I had to listen to your whining for the next few months."_

_She rolled her eyes again. "Whatever, I wouldn't have said no."_

_"Well...congratulations."_

_"Thanks."_

_"Did he get you a ring?"_

_Meredith nodded and pulled off her purple mitts, holding her left hand out._

_Cristina stepped forward and glanced down at the ring, but making no move to touch it; although her fingers shifted in the air in its vicinity. "It's nice," she commented. "It seems...very you."_

_Meredith closed her fist, her right hand wrapping over her left as she ran her digits over the ring. "I think it is. It's weird, cause it's been less than two days, but I can't stand the thought of not wearing it."_

_Her best friend rolled her eyes, but then her gaze softened. "You know, Burke got me a ring."_

_Meredith shook her head. "I didn't know that," she said quietly. Cristina didn't talk about her failed attempt at marriage very often and she would only talk about it if she was the one to bring it up. So when she did, Meredith made sure to listen. _

_Cristina scowled. "Yeah; a huge one. Big diamond. Very sparkly. Very expensive. Very...not me."_

_"Oh."_

_"I told him I wasn't going to wear it, so he took it back." She sighed, meeting Meredith's eyes. "I guess he really never knew me."_

_"I'm sorry, Cris..."_

_"Whatever, I'm free to focus on work now."_

_Meredith nodded. Cristina was re-building her walls again. "Yeah..."_

_"Well, I have to go home and sleep, but..." She trailed off and met Meredith's gaze. "I am happy for you, Meredith."_

_"Thank-you."_

_Cristina nodded a farewell and exited the locker room, leaving Meredith alone. She quickly got changed and headed for the door, and was just reached for the handle when it swung open in front of her. _

_"Hey!" Izzy greeted enthusiastically. "You're here early. How was your weekend off? What was Derek's surprise?" Before Meredith could even begin to respond, the blonde's eyes drifted down to her left hand and she squealed. "Meredith!" She exclaimed. "Oh my god! He proposed!" She flung her arms around Meredith and hugged her tight, bouncing up and down. "I'm so happy for you!"_

_"Thanks, Iz," Meredith said lightly, biting back a laugh at her reaction. _

_"Let me see," she demanded, prying Meredith's hand upwards. "Oh, Meredith, it's beautiful. Did he let you pick it out, or did he get help from someone else?"_

_"Uh...I definitely didn't pick it out, and I'm pretty sure he got it by himself." She couldn't fathom who Derek could have asked for help. She was pretty sure the best friend was usually recruited for that...and Cristina definitely would not have been any help in a jewellery store._

_"Good for him, then." Izzy dropped her hand. "When are you getting married?"_

_Meredith shrugged. "Iz, seriously, it's been less than forty-eight hours. We don't have any plans yet."_

_"Come on, nothing at all?"_

_"Well, maybe next summer, but-"_

_Izzy squealed again. "This is so exciting! I love weddings!"_

_"What is going on here?" A very familiar voice echoed as Miranda Bailey stepped into the locker room. "Dr. Stevens, I can hear your childish screams from down the hall. If you want to behave like a child, you will be kept away from surgery. Children don't get to be surgeons."_

_"I'm sorry, Dr. Bailey," Izzy responded, not trying to mask the beaming smile on her face. "But I was just being excited for Meredith."_

_Bailey turned her attention to Meredith who was at least attempting to hide the smile on her face, albeit unsuccessfully. "Grey?" She prompted expectantly._

_Meredith offered her boss a small smile. Their relationship had changed since Meredith had become a resident and Miranda had discovered her scores on the intern exam, but the woman was still her boss. "Derek asked me to marry him on the weekend."_

_Bailey allowed an uncharacteristic smile to flutter across her face. "It's about time."_

_Meredith laughed. _

_"Congratulations, Grey."_

_"Thank-you, Dr. Bailey."_

_Miranda nodded, and turned back towards Izzy. "Dr. Stevens, try to keep the child-like screaming to a minimum."_

_"Of course, Dr. Bailey."_

_Bailey nodded her head and exited the room muttering, "fools," under her breath._

000

Meredith breathed as the phone rang in her ear. Ensuring the time off was complete, now she had to ensure her friends would come to New York.

"Hey." Cristina picked up after the sixth ring. Meredith had been afraid it had gone to voice mail.

"Hey, I'm glad I caught you. Are you busy?"

"Not really, just having lunch."

"Great, is everyone there?"

"O'Malley's not."

"But Izzy and Alex are?"

"Yup. Why?"

"Because, I'm getting married."

Cristina snorted, and Meredith could practically see her rolling her eyes. "Yeah, we know that Meredith. So unless you have amnesia, or have been brainwashed or something, that's old news."

"No, I mean I'm getting married this weekend."

"You're what?"

"Getting married this weekend," she repeated. "Saturday."

"Where?"

"Here."

"As in New York?"

Meredith nodded, even though she was on the phone. She had isolated herself in Derek's old bedroom when they had returned home and he and Mark had gone out for their tuxes, giving herself some privacy for the calls she had to make. No one could see her nodding to herself on the phone. "Yeah."

"This Saturday?"

"I know it's really last minute, but after everything that's happened...we don't want to wait any longer. So we decided to do it here, so that Derek's family can all be here. And Derek called the Chief, and got all of you time off to come out here. And Derek and I will pay for your airfare and hotel and everything for you to be here."

"You're seriously telling me you want us all to get on a plane and fly out to the Big McApple to spend the weekend with the McFamily?"

"Yes."

There was a pause and a few moments of hushed tones Meredith couldn't make out as Cristina began passing information to Izzy and Alex. She was sure the last comment had caught their attention. "Okay, the consensus seems to be positive. How much time off did you get?"

"Tomorrow until Monday."

"Wow," Cristina whistled. "Impressive."

"Yeah, well, the chief owed Derek."

"Right. So, when do you want us there?"

"We have tentatively booked four seats on a flight at eleven tomorrow..."

"Holy last minute, Meredith."

"I did it for you." When Cristina had presented Meredith with a ticket to Hawaii for an anti-honeymoon, Meredith had barely had time to pack before they had rushed to the airport. She had spent half of their first day in 'paradise' at a local laundry mat because she had filled her suitcase with clothes coming out of her hamper.

"Ah the sweet smell of blackmail..."

Meredith snorted. "It's not blackmail. It's my wedding. And I..." She trailed off with a sigh. "I need you guys there with me."

"And now with the guilt trip. Seriously, Meredith, you are being brainwashed. You'll make an excellent wife, that's for sure..."

"Cris..."

"Of course I'll get on the freaking plane. You're my person."

"Thank-you. Now what about the other two?"

"Well, Alex seems to like the idea of a free trip. And Izzy is looking like she's about to burst, so I'm assuming that's a yes. Though I'm refusing to give her my phone to talk to you, even though she's demanding it. She'll infect it with all her happiness crap."

Meredith ignored her dig at Izzy and breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. And you'll tell George?"

"Yup."

"And can I get you to pick up the dresses and rings before you go to the airport and bring them with you?"

"Crap, I forgot about them." Cristina sighed. "If I _accidentally_ lose just my dress, is that okay?"

"No. You agreed to wear it."

"But-"

"I did it for you," she said again.

"Whatever. I'll pick up the dresses and the rings for you."

"Great. I...great. Thank-you."

"Seriously, Mer, the mushy thing is a little over the top."

Meredith laughed, but was surprised to find her eyes welling. "Sorry."

"Okay, so when does the plane leave?"

Meredith quickly passed the flight details through the phone line. "And someone will be there to pick you up when you land, and if it's not me, Derek or Mark, then they'll have a sign, so look for that."

"Okay, so we'll see you some time tomorrow."

"Looking forward to it."

"Yeah, but you don't have to spend five hours on a plane with the crazy baker, Bambi and Alex..."

Meredith laughed and Cristina hung up before she could begin to respond. She took a breath of relief and smiled to herself as the realization that they were coming settled into her conscious. They were coming. Her family would be there for her wedding.

After a few moments to collect herself, Meredith scrolled through her phonebook and hit send on the name of the second person she needed to call.

_Meredith watched in horror as Derek disappeared through the doors of the clinic, being dragged by the security guards. The chief was holding her against the bed, his hands heavy on her shoulders, and she didn't have the energy to push him off. She was in too much pain._

_"Derek!" She cried, holding out her good arm as if that would help her. And even though she wasn't making any progress, she continued to strain against Richard's grasp._

_"For god's sake," Bailey called, shoving Richard away from the bed. "She's injured. Don't make it worse."_

_As soon as the pressure was off, Meredith tried again to get up, only to be stopped by her chief resident. _

_"You need to stay in bed, Meredith."_

_"No. No, I need Derek. Please..."_

_"I know," she glanced across the bed towards the chief. "This is all just a misunderstanding. He'll be back soon."_

_"Like hell he will," Richard stated. "Meredith, I'm going to see to it that man never comes near you again."_

_"No. No!" She found herself shouting. She needed him. "Derek would never hurt me."_

_Richard ignored her as he argued with Bailey. _

_"Of course she's going to say that," he was saying. "She'd never admit it. Who knows how long this has been going on?"_

_"Chief, if I thought for one second that Derek was responsible for this we wouldn't have needed security because I would have killed him myself."_

_"Then how do you explain the secrecy? Sneaking her into the clinic?"_

_"They wanted privacy."_

_Richard scoffed. "A good excuse."_

_"It's not an excuse." Mark added. "Derek and I were at a baseball game. He got the call while we were on the way home."_

_"I have no reason to believe that."_

_"Like hell you don't. Richard, we picked her up on the side of the road. Derek didn't do this, now call security and get him back here."_

_"Get out. Both of you get out."_

_"This is my clinic, Chief. You can't have me kicked out."_

_"Fine, Sloan, get out."_

_"No," he sat down beside Meredith in the chair Derek had vacated. "Derek told me to stay."_

_"You have no reason to be here. You're not her doctor."_

_"Fine. I'm here as a visitor, but I'm not leaving."_

_"It's family only; you're not family."_

_"I'm as good as." He grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. Meredith was grateful for the contact, and she clutched onto him. "And I'm more her family than you. So, why don't you do us all a favour and go get Derek."_

_"Dr. Smith," Richard called to the intern standing in the doorway. "Go and call security to escort Dr. Sloan out."_

_"This is completely uncalled for, Chief."_

_There was only a few moments of terse arguing before Mark too was pulled forcibly from her bedside. Meredith could feel a new batch of tears running down her face as the chief put the guardrails of the bed up to counteract her struggles. She couldn't begin to get over them to get out of bed. Her ribs were screaming in protest. "Dr. Smith, get me a sedative," Richard called. "She's just going to hurt herself like this." _

_"No!" Meredith found herself screaming. "No. This is all a mistake. Derek didn't do this. Please, don't."_

_"I promised your mother I would watch out for you," he told her firmly._

_"Derek would never hurt me," she cried, watching as Dr. Smith passed him a needle. "Please, I just want to go home. I need to go home..." Her arm was forcibly held still while she struggled, Bailey in the background yelling at the chief to stop. The needle pushed into her skin and she cried. _

_It was only moments until the tranquilizer began to take effect. Her head spun as she tried to sit up, determined to fight it. "I need to go home..." She repeated, but fell back down against the pillow painfully. "Home... Derek..." The hopelessness was overwhelming as she fell back down, her head heavy against the pillow. "Please... I need him... Please..."_

_She lay still, gasping for breath as she was wheeled into the hospital. Staff stopped and stared as Richard barked out orders, and Meredith cried as she tried to hide herself from their scrutiny. She was left in the hallway for some amount of time, and fell into a drug induced sleep. _

_She woke with a jolt as she was moved onto a hard, narrow bed. "Wha..."_

_"Dr. Grey, you need to lie still," a distant, but familiar voice said. _

_Meredith cracked open her eyes, blinking groggily as she slowly took in her surroundings. The man standing above her was familiar. There was a white ceiling above her. And a large circular object by her legs. She blinked. It was an MRI. The man above her was the tech. She needed to tell him to stop. She knew his name...she did...really, it was on the tip of her tongue..._

_"No..." She choked out. _

_"Meredith," Richard's stern voice came from her other side. "You need this scan to rule out internal injuries."_

_"I need Derek..." She whispered, struggling to sit up, but was immediately pressed down._

_"We can't scan her if she won't be still," the tech was saying._

_"Let go..." she tried to shout, and was disheartened when it came out as a faint whimper. "Please..."_

_"I've already sedated her. She's fighting it. We'll have to restrain her."_

_"No!" She managed something resembling a normal voice. It was hard. Her mind was cloudy and her thoughts were muddled and thick and hard to form and manipulate. She felt like her limbs were made of lead. She couldn't let them tie her down. She couldn't be tied down._

_"If we leave you free, will you stay still? You need this scan."_

_"Okay," she relented, tears streaming freely down her face. She couldn't fight them. Her body wasn't responding to her directions. And she couldn't let them restrain her; she couldn't be tied down. She fell silent as they positioned her on the platform and left the room. The humming of the machine was too much for her head, even with the headphones to muffle it. She shifted the fingers of her good hand and was disheartened to find her fourth finger bare. She cried; and her last conscious thought was regarding the whereabouts of her ring._

_When she woke again, she was in a hospital bed. Her broken arm was hanging in a traction sling beside her, realigning her bone. She blinked at it and turned her head, her breath catching when she met Derek's eyes._

_"Hey," he offered quietly, leaning over the bed to kiss her._

_"Derek..." she whispered. "You're here..."_

_He smiled sadly. "I'm so sorry, Meredith. I... They wouldn't let me go. I couldn't get to you."_

_She blinked. "I tried to tell him... You would never..." She squeezed her eyes shut. The simple act of talking was wreaking havoc on her pounding head. _

_"You're right," he whispered. "I would never hurt you, Meredith, not ever."_

_"I know," she whispered. "Why did he think...?"_

_Derek sighed beside her. "Dr. Smith thought Bailey was covering because of the secrecy and the fact that we came to the clinic and not the OR. She went to the chief the second he was out of surgery."_

_Meredith nodded, remembering the intern's expression when she had incidentally opened the curtains. "I'm sorry," she told him._

_"It wasn't your fault."_

_"But if it had been anyone else...he wouldn't have overreacted..."_

_"It doesn't matter. It still doesn't make it your fault."_

_She nodded, opening her eyes. "I'm so glad you're here."_

_"Me too."_

_"How long has it been?"_

_"A few hours. It's almost two in the morning."_

_"I couldn't stay awake..."_

_"I know. They had you sedated pretty good." He shook his head and sighed. "The good news is your MRI was clean. There's no internal bleeding or damage."_

_She nodded. "Good." She shifted her hand and smiled at the familiar pressure against her middle and pinky finger. "My ring..."_

_"Is right back where it belongs," he told her. _

_"I didn't know where it was. I was asleep when they took it for the MRI."_

_"I got it back for you. And your necklace is back on too."_

_She smiled. "Thank-you."_

_There was a sniffle and she looked over to see him crying. _

_"Derek..."_

_"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Meredith. I never meant for this to happen. I...you were screaming..." He shook his head. "I'm sorry I made you come here. We should have gone to Mercy West."_

_"It's not your fault," she whispered, trying to sit up. Her body was more co-ordinated than before, but she had limited movement with her arm in the sling. "You were right to bring me here. The chief was wrong."_

_"Thank-you," he whispered, laying his head down beside hers, his forehead against the side of her head, his breathing loud against the linens. "I love you so much, Meredith."_

_"I love you too." She tilted her head to lean against his. And for a few moments she enjoyed a sense of calm. "It was Thatcher," she finally admitted._

_Derek lifted his head and met her eyes. His were sad. "I know." He cupped the un-bruised side of her face. "Lexie showed up. She's the reason I'm here and not at the police station."_

_"Oh..."_

_"She'd been looking everywhere for you. She brought your purse and your jacket."_

_Meredith nodded. "Okay."_

_"I'm so sorry, Meredith. I'm sorry that you had..." He trailed off. "You deserve so much better."_

_"Derek..."_

_"No. He's a fucking bastard, Meredith. He doesn't deserve to be breathing." Derek seethed, his face red and taking on an expression she had never before seen on his face; complete and utter rage. "I'll fucking kill him."_

_"No, you won't." She said quietly._

_"Meredith..."_

_"No, please, Derek, promise me. Because if you kill him, you'll go to jail. And not only will I feel guilty for being the reason you're in jail, but it will kind of destroy our happily ever after."_

_He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the mattress beside her. "I won't kill him, but I need to... I need to know he's in as much pain as you." His voice was strained and tense._

_"No." She forced his head up to meet her eyes. Tears were streaming from hers, but she ignored them. His lips were set in a thin line and his hands were clenched into fists. She needed to make him understand before it was too late._

_"He did this to you," he spoke angrily. "He doesn't deserve to be breathing. He needs to feel his own bones breaking."_

_She nodded. "Maybe so, but if you go over there like this, Derek, you will kill him."_

_He swallowed and avoided her eyes._

_"Promise me, Derek. Promise me you won't ever go looking for him."_

_"Please don't make me do that."_

_"Look at me," she demanded quietly. He did. "Don't let him take away our happily ever after, Derek. Don't let him take any more happiness from me."_

_He squeezed his eyes shut for several seconds and exhaled before opening them again. "Okay, Meredith. I promise."_

0

"Hello?" A voice answered on the second ring, pulling Meredith from her memories.

"Hey, it's...me."

"Meredith, hi. Nice to hear from you. How's your trip?"

"It's good, really good actually. That's why I'm calling..."

"Okay." She sounded confused on the other end of the line, but patiently waited for Meredith to continue.

"Derek and I have decided to get married this weekend, here in New York."

"Oh, Mer, that's wonderful. Congratulations."

"Thanks." She couldn't help the smile that fluttered to her lips. "Anyway, we're flying out my friends and Bailey to be here and...and I want you to come too, that is if you want to." They had been doing well before the incident with Thatcher. The term 'sister' had even been thrown around a few times.

There was silence for several seconds as she breathed, every exhale causing a slight hiss of static. "I...I'd love to be there, Meredith. But...are you sure you want me there, after everything?"

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know. But I still feel like I precipitated it. I forced you to come over that night-"

"You didn't force me."

She sighed. "Well, I pushed you to come over. And nothing would have happened if I hadn't. So...I understand if you don't want me there, as a reminder. It is supposed to be the happiest day of your life."

"Lex, you're my...something." Their relationship was hard to determine, especially now. "And nothing that happened was your fault. You can't control your parents; it just doesn't work that way. And you're not a reminder of what happened. So, please come."

000

It was late when Meredith found herself being woken by soft lips traveling along her face and neck. "Hmm..." she moaned under the assault as she slowly cracked open her eyes, meeting Derek's brilliant blue ones. He kissed her one more time before crawling over her to settle next to her.

She rolled with him, coming to rest with her head on his shoulder and her arm reaching across his chest. He threaded their fingers together and sighed happily.

"You get your tux?" She mumbled into his chest.

"Yeah; it just needed a few small adjustments. I need to pick it up tomorrow afternoon." he whispered, his free hand running through her hair. "Your phone calls go okay?"

"Yeah," she echoed. "Cristina is going to make sure they pick up the dresses and rings before they go to the airport." She had called the shops and made sure Cristina would have no problem picking up the items. And she had already booked an appointment with the bridal shop in town to have her, Izzy and Cristina's fittings checked on Thursday.

"Good."

Meredith smiled and rested happily against him, closing her eyes.

"You okay?" He asked quietly.

"Of course. Why?"

"Mom said you slept right through dinner. It's not like you to miss a meal..."

She lifted her head off his shoulder to meet his eyes, and ignored the teasing expression in his. "What time is it?"

"After eight."

She started. "Wow, I didn't mean to fall asleep... I just wanted to lie down. She should have woken me."

He laughed. "She said you were dead to the world when she came looking for you."

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," she repeated.

Derek carefully pulled out from under her and shifted so that he was on his side, facing her, his fingers still threaded through hers. "Are you sure you're okay?"

She sighed, offering him a gentle smile. She could never hide anything from him. "It's nothing new," she reassured him. "It was just hard...calling Lexie. It brought back a lot of memories."

He nodded, understanding. He was the only person she had told the whole story to. "It's good that you're inviting her," he offered quietly. "Is she coming?"

She nodded. She had learned after the fact that Lexie had run after her until she had lost her, and had then called Alex for help and the two of them had scoured the streets looking for her until Alex had called Cristina, to hear that she was already at the hospital. Their showing up with the full story was what had forced the Chief to release Derek and Mark. And afterwards, even though she was torn, Lexie had offered to support Meredith if she chose to report the incident to the police. "I know. I'm glad she's coming. I just..."

He sighed, puling closer and pressing his lips against her forehead before replacing them with his forehead. "It was a horrible night."

She nodded against him, her eyes filling with tears.

His hand tightened around hers. "I wish I could have protected you."

"There was no way you could have known." They had had this conversation before.

"I know. But that doesn't mean I don't wish I could have. I love you Meredith, and that comes with an overwhelming need to keep you safe, even if it's a little irrational."

She smiled despite herself. "So long as I get to be the irrational one most of the time..."

He laughed and tilted his head to capture her lips for several seconds.

"I am sorry the Chief accused you," she said quietly when he pulled away.

"Mer..." This was another conversation they had had before.

"I know it's not my fault, but he was way out of line. And you didn't deserve that."

"I would never-"

She kissed him. "I know, Derek. Trust me, I know you'd never hurt me. And I've never been the least bit scared or...anything, around you, not even after..." In the first days and weeks after the incident with Thatcher, she had been jumpy around all strangers and even people she knew. Loud voices and fast movements had made her flinch. Any contact had made her instinctively pull away. But not with him. She had never been afraid of him.

"Good," she spoke evenly.

She sighed. "I ran until I could barely breathe," she whispered. "And when I finally stopped I didn't know where I was, and it was late, and there was no one around. And it was so tempting to just lie down and give up. I was so tired and in so much pain and I couldn't breathe...but I..." Her breathing hitched. "All I wanted was you. I couldn't breathe, and I was exhausted, and I was in pain, and all I wanted was you to be there with me. I knew you'd make it alright."

He blinked and his eyes took on a deeper, moister quality. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "I needed you."

"I'll always be there when you need me, Mer, I promise."

"I know." She sighed. "It's a good feeling."

"It is," he agreed, capturing her lips once again. "I love you."

"I love you more."

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "S'not true."

"It is true." She kissed him this time. "And Derek? You know I'll always be there for you too, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Good."

He smiled tenderly at her. "Okay." He sat up, bringing her with him as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. "Let's take care of your need for food, so that you're up to giving me that prize you owe me from lunch..."

Meredith laughed and let him lead her down the stairs.


	6. SIDES

**SIDES**

'_That which does not kill us, only makes us stronger.'_

_-- Friedrich Nietzche_

**- Wednesday –**

_Meredith glanced at the clock in the scrub room and sighed as she set to scrubbing out. She had been pulled into an emergency surgery, which had lasted hours longer than expected. It would be after midnight now on the east coast, so she knew Derek would have made his phone call without her. It was disappointing, even though she had told him to do so. She had wanted to be there to announce their engagement to his family. They had been engaged for six days, and Derek had been excited all week about making this phone call with her._

_It wasn't up to her to talk with the family of the patient, so Meredith headed directly for her locker room. A small note greeted her from the front of her cubby, from Derek, telling her he was in his office and ready to go when she was. She hoped he was up to driving them home. She was exhausted. _

_Meredith made quick work of getting changed and tossed her beeper and cell phone into her purse. She shut her cubby and turned for the door when her purse started buzzing. It took her a second to realize it was her cell phone, and she quickly pulled it out. _

_'Carol home,' was displayed across the small LCD screen._

_She quickly flipped open the phone, a smile playing on her face, despite the late hour and her exhaustion. "Hello?"_

_"Hey!" Kathleen's excited voice filtered through the phone. "We finally caught you! We've been calling all night..."_

_"Yeah, you caught me. I just got out of surgery."_

_"Just to warn you, there's at least half a dozen messages on your phone."_

_Meredith laughed. "So, how's the party?" Carol was throwing her annual Christmas party and all of Derek's sisters were there. _

_"Who cares about the party," Kathleen scoffed. "We're calling about you! Congratulations!"_

_"Thanks," she said lightly. _

_"You're marrying my brother!"_

_"I am." Meredith couldn't help the bright smile that erupted across her face. _

_There was a rustling on the other end of the phone, and she heard a few snippets of Kathleen's conversation with whoever was near her on the other end of the line. "...finally got a hold of her...yes, she's on the phone...no...I got a hold of her, I get to talk to her...No!"_

_There was a louder rustling as the phone was forcibly taken away from Kathleen, causing Meredith to laugh; she had been subjected to the same thing at Thanksgiving. They had taken her cell phone from her while she had been talking to Derek and had held it hostage for hours. And when she had finally been given it back, she had discovered they had added all of their numbers._

_"Meredith! Hi!" A new voice filtered onto the line. _

_"Hi, Nat," she responded. _

_"Derek called us."_

_"I know. I'm sorry I couldn't be there with him. I just got out of surgery, and we thought it would be too late for you guys..."_

_"Ah," Natalie scoffed. "It's barely after midnight, and it's a party..." She trailed off. "Congrats! I'm so excited for you."_

_"Thank-you."_

_"Are you excited?"_

_"Of course I am."_

_"Good. I'm passing you on, there's kind of a line up..."_

_Meredith didn't even have a chance to say goodbye when Anna took the phone._

_"You and Derek are getting married!"_

_Meredith couldn't wipe the smile from her face; she was glad she was alone in the locker room. "We are!"_

_"I cannot believe it took you guys a week to call and let us know..."_

_"We wanted to wait until everyone was together."_

_"Excuses, excuses. I talked to you three days ago, and you didn't give me a hint or anything. Come on, Meredith, I'm the youngest, I never get to know anything first."_

_Meredith laughed. "Well...next time Derek asks me to marry him I'll be sure and tell you first."_

_"Good to know," Anna said, also laughing. "I'm so excited! We're going to be sisters!"_

_Tears welled in her eyes at the thought; at the realization that she wasn't only getting the man of her dreams for the rest of her life, but she was getting an amazing, loving, bright and shiny family to go along with him. She would have sisters._

_"...wait your turn..." Anna was muttering from the other end. "Sorry, Mer, but I'm being threatened. I'll have to pass you along again, but I'll call you tomorrow..."_

_"Bye," Meredith offered, but was unsure if Anna even heard._

_"Congrats!" Nancy's voice filtered through the phone line. Although they had gotten off to a bad start when Nancy had visited Seattle, they had developed an understanding at Thanksgiving and were both happy with Derek's recent life choices. _

_"Thanks."_

_"Derek was so happy when he called here."_

_Meredith smiled at the thought._

_"Oh, crap," Nancy mumbled. "Mom just came in the room; that means my time is up. Here she is..."_

_"Meredith, dear, I am so happy with the news," Carol greeted warmly._

_Meredith's eyes welled again. Along with the amazing man and the sisters she was getting a...mom. "Thanks."_

_"I'm just..." Carol continued, "So thrilled. I can't even imagine anyone better for my son. Now, did he do it right? He told me he did, but he is a man..."_

_Meredith laughed through her tears and nodded. "It was...amazing. He took me completely by surprise. He took me up to this high point on the land and said that was where he wanted to build a house...and when I turned around..." She swallowed as she remembered his perfect words._

'Meredith, when I come up here, and I look into my future, I can see myself here. I can see the house and the life. But most of all, I can see you. Every time. Every variation. It's always you. And coming up here with you, all I can see is _our_ future. And all I want is to spend the rest of my life with you.' He paused, and there was a quiet creaking sound as the box was opened. Other than a vague sparkle from the sunlight, Meredith couldn't see anything through her tears. 'Meredith,' he said softly. 'Will you marry me?'

_"Good," Carol said. "I'm glad it was so memorable. You deserve it. And I guess an official welcome to the family is in order..."_

000

It was a warm afternoon. The sun was shining brightly with only a light breeze to counteract it. The older kids were playing a marathon game of hide and seek across the large acreage of Carol's land. The younger kids were mulling around closer to the house, playing their own game.

Meredith found herself outside with the majority of Derek's family, enjoying the weather. She had spent a couple hours in town with Kathleen, Anna, Stephanie, Megan and Spencer junior picking out the flower girl and ring bearer outfits. Other than that there was nothing left for her to do at the time to prepare for the weekend. Derek and Mark were out picking up their tuxes, her friends, assuming the plane was on time, were in the air right now, and the rest of the guest list had been called, including two people they had added the day before. Everything had been taken care of. Everything was going well. And yet, in the back of her mind, she was certain they had forgotten something.

Nancy and Natalie were tilted back in reclining deck chairs, taking advantage of the sunlight. Anna and Carol were sitting with Meredith, enjoying drinks around the smaller patio table, shielded from the sun by the middle umbrella. Spencer and Dean were out hiding with the older kids, enjoying themselves immensely, and hadn't been seen for over an hour. Phil was keeping a closer eye on the younger children. And Meredith wasn't sure where Simon and Kathleen had disappeared to.

"I'm so excited for this weekend," Anna was saying.

Meredith felt the corners of her mouth turn upwards. "Me too."

Carol smiled warmly at her. "A wedding here..." She trailed off with a happy sigh and gently shook her head. "Sam would have loved it." Carol and Sam had married young and immediately set to building a home on the land he had inherited right out of high school. They had designed and built the house Carol had now lived in for over forty years; the house they had raised their children in. The family had been devastated by Sam's sudden death, but his memory was kept alive in stories and photographs. The house and the land had never become any less than _theirs_. "He would have been so proud of Derek." She turned a thoughtful gaze to Meredith. "And he would have loved you, dear."

Meredith was surprised to feel tears pricking the backs of her eyes. "Really?"

Carol nodded reassuringly and reached across the table to squeeze her hand. "Really. When I look at my son, and I see the way he acts around you, how much he loves you..." She gave a watery smile as her eyes welled. "I can see so much of his father in him. Sam was my soul mate; there isn't a doubt in my mind. And I miss him every day. And Derek looks so much like him, and yet I'd never seen how much they were the same until now. The person Derek is with you is the spitting image of his father."

Meredith swallowed hard. "He's a good man."

"I'm so glad. I'm so glad he's happy again, like he deserves. And I'm certain that somewhere, somehow, Sam is proud of him too."

"Oh, mom," Anna said quietly, reaching for her mother's hand. "I'm sure he is too."

Meredith wasn't sure what to say to comfort the older woman, so she settled for simply squeezing the hand that was still latched onto hers and offered a supportive smile as she continued to fight off her own tears.

"A wedding," Carol repeated. "Here on our land..." She shook her head before turning to Meredith. "I can't think of anything better to be doing this weekend."

Meredith smiled. "Me neither."

Carol smiled warmly at her. "And how is your house coming? Have they started yet?" Meredith and Derek had spent their winter months meeting with an architect and a construction company, designing their dream home.

"I think it's going well," Meredith told her. "They broke ground in april, and spent a long time putting in the basement and doing...other things..." She trailed off with a laugh. She had very little understanding of the complexity of building a functional house to start with, and her almost complete self-removal from anything outside her immediate environment for almost a month hadn't helped her to wonder on the days she and Derek went to check on the progress. In fact, early after the horrific experience with Thatcher, she had made him go by himself most days. "They're supposed to have the frame up and ready for our inspection when we get back next week."

"That's wonderful to hear."

"When will the whole thing be complete?" Anna asked.

"In the fall; November probably by the time everything is dry-walled and painted and...whatever else."

"When does the lease on your apartment come up?"

"The end of July," Meredith answered. "We've talked to the landlord and he's going to see about extending our contract for a few months. If not...I guess we'll have to put most of our stuff in storage and live in the trailer for the fall."

Carol made a face. "I'm sure you can find something else if that's the case. Don't let my son convince you to live in that tin box for four months."

Meredith laughed. "It's really not a big deal. I like the trailer." She and Derek had spent quite a few weekends out there recently. It had given her a chance to be away from the city and people to heal.

"For a weekend maybe," Carol continued. "But to live in for four months?"

"We'll make do." Meredith shrugged.

Carol smiled at her for several seconds. "Young love I suppose..."

She felt her cheeks redden. "I guess," she stated noncommittally.

"Are you two going to be able to go away after the wedding?" Anna questioned.

"Not right away." She shook her head. The concept of a honeymoon had come up briefly between her and Derek, but time off was too much of an issue. After them both taking almost two weeks off now, and Derek calling in his favour to have six other surgeons have time off for the coming weekend, they would be forced to wait a while, especially to have enough time off for a real honeymoon "We were thinking we may be able to get the time off in the late fall or after Christmas."

"That's too bad."

Meredith shrugged. "But after this week, it'll be fine. I'm sure we'll be able to get away for a weekend or something in the summer."

"Well, that's something at least." Carol answered. "And how has work been going for you? You must be nearing then end of your second year?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I'll just have two weeks left once we get back."

"And it's just a new bunch of interns, huh?" Anna added with a laugh.

Meredith laughed in response. "Yeah, I'll have to break in a new group."

"How had you liked having interns this year?"

She shrugged. "It wasn't so bad. I guess I only really have three, the fourth is my friend George. He failed his exam last year, so is repeating the year."

"That sucks."

"Yeah," Meredith agreed. "It does. But his dad died a year ago and his marriage was on the rocks and I guess he was just overwhelmed or whatever. He really is a good doctor."

"Is he one of the ones who are coming out today?"

She nodded.

"So," Anna prompted. "Have you made any head way on choosing a specialty?"

Meredith cracked a smile. "I think so, just don't tell Derek..."

"Damn," Anna muttered. "That means neuro."

She nodded. "Yeah...I'm really leaning that way, as much as I tried to fight it."

"And why don't you want Derek to know?" Carol questioned.

Meredith smirked. "I don't want to deal with his gloating just yet..."

Carol laughed. "And knowing my son, that's all you would hear."

She nodded emphatically. "Exactly. When I'm completely sure, I'll let him know."

Carol paused for a moment, her motherly eyes surveying Meredith with apprehension. "Have you two really been okay lately," she finally questioned. "I don't want to pry, but everything seemed fine, and then you two stopped calling and delayed the wedding and I...I was concerned."

Anna remained silent, but turned a worried glance to Meredith as well.

Meredith almost smiled at the sight of the mother and daughter. Of all of the sisters, Anna looked the most like her mother. And their concerned expressions were almost identical. She sighed. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "We never meant to concern you. It's just..." She trailed off as she searched for the words she needed to be able to explain herself. "It never had anything do to with _us_," she assured. "Trust me, I...I love your son more than anything. And I know he loves me too. And it was never that we didn't want to get married. It's just...something came up and I...we," she stuttered. "Something happened. And everything else around us kind of went to hell. And at the time, we weren't sure if we could pull off the wedding and everything..."

Carol appeared curious to know what had happened, but held her tongue. "As long as you two are okay."

Meredith smiled. "We're okay, great even. It was never about us," she repeated. "It's just...you can't always control what happens in your life..."

"_Well, the movie kind of sucked," Meredith commented as she collapsed onto the passenger seat of Lexie's car. Derek and Mark were at a baseball game, so she had taken her half-sister up on the offer to go see a movie. She had known the woman for the better half of a year, and was slowly beginning to open up to her. _

_"The reviews were all really good."_

_"And really wrong."_

_Lexie laughed. "Yeah, I have to agree." She shook her head. "You want to come back to my place for a drink?" _

_Meredith glanced at the clock on the dash of the car and sighed. "I'd love to, but it's getting late."_

_"It's barely getting dark."_

_"But I have to be at work at six tomorrow."_

_"Come on," Lexie pushed. "Just one drink, tequila or coffee, your choice."_

_Meredith silently contemplated. It was nice spending time with the younger woman, and she had moved out of Thatcher's house and into an apartment with George a few months ago, so that wasn't a problem. _

_"I also may have some chocolate cake..."_

_Meredith rolled her eyes. "Fine; you know my weakness."_

_Her half-sister smiled triumphantly and quickly steered them to her apartment._

_Lexie was cutting two pieces of cake as the two of them continued to make fun of the movie when there was a loud knock at the door. Meredith jumped at the sudden intrusion, and looked up at Leixe, who shrugged. _

_"I don't know who that could be."_

_"I'll go see. You get that cake ready," Meredith said with a laugh, before heading for the door. Nothing could have prepared her for the sight that awaited her._

_Thatcher Grey stood awkwardly in the doorway upon her swinging open the door, his hair more unkempt than normal and several days of growth on his face. His clothing was mismatched and dirty. And he stunk of alcohol._

_"H-hi," she stuttered, stepping back to allow him to enter. She hadn't seen him since he had chased her and Derek from Susan's funeral._

_His eyes flashed angrily as he recognized her. "What are you doing here?"_

_"I'm just visiting with Lexie."_

_"I told you to stay away from my family," he stated, his voice loud and harsh._

_She swallowed. "I'm sorry, but I want to get to know her. She is my half-sister," she said determinately, squaring her shoulders._

_He stepped towards her, his face reddening at her words. "I want her to have nothing to do with you. All you do is infect the people around you. That's all either of you have ever done."_

_"No." She found herself practically yelling, determined this time to stand up for herself this time. When he had chased them across the parking lot after the funeral, she had frozen, unable to defende herself, leaving the job to Derek. "I'm not her. I know that my mother did some horrible things to you, but-"_

_"She was a whore. She slept with than man for years. __A__ man you work for."_

_"So does Lexie."_

_"It's not the same."_

_"It is the same."_

"_It's not the same," he repeated. "And you're worse than her. You killed my wife."_

_Meredith felt tears spring to her eyes. "No I didn't," she said softly. "It was a horrible thing that happened to Susan-"_

_"You don't get to say her name!" He bellowed._

_"Dad!" Lexie called, hurrying into the front hall. "What are you doing?" She demanded._

_Thatcher ignored his younger daughter. "You took her from me. You and your mother, all you ever did was take and destroy everything and everyone around you. You don't get to come here and take my daughter away from me too."_

_"She's your daughter too," Lexie said quietly, placing her hand on her father's forearm, trying to reason with him. _

_"She doesn't deserve to be anyone's daughter," he sneered, meeting Meredith's eyes evenly. "I can't believe I convinced your mother to have you in the first place. What a mistake."_

_Meredith blinked rapidly as the tears welled in her eyes. "I'm so sorry..." Her resolve to stand up for herself was failing fast. She felt like she had been slapped in the face again at his words._

_"You were the worst decision I ever made."_

_Another verbal slap to the face. The urge to run and cry was welling inside her, but a small flicker of anger ignited. "Yeah, well, what about leaving?" She countered. "Where does ditching your five year old daughter fit on your list of bad decisions, huh?" She hissed._

_"That was your mother's fault."_

_Meredith scoffed. "I love how everything is someone else's fault in your book."_

_"How dare you, you little-"_

_"Dad!" Lexie cut in again, trying to pull him towards the couch. "Stop this. You're drunk, please come and sit down." She shot Meredith an apologetic glance. _

_"I don't need to sit down."_

_"Please, dad, please come and sit down. I'll get you some coffee."_

_He still refused to turn, but his frame relaxed, even though he continued to glare at Meredith. _

_His expression was so cold that Meredith couldn't help the tears that finally overcame her lower lids and began to stream down her cheeks. She wiped furiously at them, not wanting to appear weak. The man had too much power over her already._

_Thatcher started, his eyes flashing, and before Meredith had a chance to react, he had stormed forward and was clutching to her left wrist, holding her hand high, up near his face. _

_"What are you doing? Let me go," she demanded, trying to pull her hand free, but it was no use against his strong grip._

_"What the hell is that?!" He yelled; his eyes fixed on the ring sitting on her fourth finger. _

_Meredith stopped struggling at his words, realizing what he was doing. "I...uh...Derek asked me to marry him." Thatcher loosened his grip, but did not release her. His expression dulled a bit, and his eyes took on a characteristic that she couldn't read. And for one, tiny, moment, Meredith hoped he was happy for her. She hoped he would be glad. He was her father, and she was getting married. _

_Her hopes were dashed, however, at his next words._

_He met her eyes, his showing exactly the intensity of his hate and disdain for her. "You're going to ruin that poor man's life, just like you and your mother ruined mine."_

_"No, that's not-"_

_"That's all you do! That's all either of you have ever done!"_

_"No!" She shouted, trying to wrench her hand out of his grip, but he still refused to let go. She pulled at his fingers with her right hand. "Let me go!"_

_"Dad, let her go." Lexie joined in. _

_Thatcher shouted something unintelligible at Lexie's support to Meredith and grabbed a hold of her right arm, his grip tight and unforgiving. "You don't deserve to be happy. You don't deserve to get married," he hissed at her. "You hear me? You've taken everything from me."_

_Meredith felt fear for the first time as she met his livid eyes. "Please. Please let me go. And I'll leave."_

_He sneered, leaning in close, the alcohol in his breath stinging her eyes. "You were a mistake; a horrible mistake. And all you've ever done was hurt the people around you. You don't deserve a family, so stay the hell away from my daughters."_

_Meredith swallowed hard and nodded. "Fine," she all but whispered. "Now let me go."_

_He released her left wrist and she struggled against him as he still held her right forearm tightly in his grasp. He shook his head at her. "You're disgusting. You should be in jail after what you did."_

_"It wasn't my fault. I wasn't even in the OR with her, remember? I was in the waiting room with you..."_

_"You killed her. You infected her...just like your mother."_

_Meredith's breathing hitched violently as she still strained against his grip. "I'm sorry you feel that way, I am. But I would never have done anything to hurt her. Susan was a wonderful person-" She cut herself off with a cry as he violently twisted her arm in his grip._

_"You don't get to say her name!" He repeated._

_"Dad! Let her go!" Lexie's yelling was lost in the background and Thatcher pushed her away when she tried to free Meredith's arm._

_"You stay away from her, Lexie. She's bad news." His tone was even and authoritative, as if he were a father telling his pre-teen daughter to stay away from a bad, older influence._

_Meredith was crying freely, pain shooting through her entire left arm as he kept her twisted over like that. She could only hope he would let her go now, as she was in no position to bargain. This was not father she had hoped for when she had been growing up. This was not the clumsy, stammering man that had accompanied Susan to dinner with her and Derek almost a year before. This was a man who believed she had killed his wife. This was a man who was angry and drunk and seeking vengeance._

_"Dad, let her go!" Lexie yelled._

_"Why are you helping her?" He demanded._

_"Because you're hurting her!"_

_"She doesn't deserve your sympathy!" He screamed, and the sound of Meredith's radius cracking was heard through the room as he violently twisted her arm further. _

_Meredith screamed in pain. And suddenly her world was spinning as he violently shoved her away and she slammed into the wall behind her before crumpling onto the floor. The breath was knocked out of her and she curled up on the floor, her broken arm clutched against her chest as she struggled to breathe. Her eyes shut tightly involuntarily and she could no longer make out the words he was yelling as he stepped towards her. _

_The toe of his boot met her ribcage twice before she managed to move out of his way, her side burning in pain. Her adrenaline was kicking in and she knew she needed to get out of the apartment, but he was between her and the door. She staggered to her feet, barely taking in Lexie's stunned form, frozen with shock; this was the not the father she knew either._

_She stepped away from him, her injured arm and ribs cradled with her remaining intact limb as she hunched. "Please just let me go," she whispered. And when Thatcher failed to respond she stood as straight as she could and made to move past him._

_She was almost to the door when he lashed out again, his fist finding her lower jaw, throwing her off her feet as she hit the table behind her on her way down. More pain shot through her body, but her brain was on overload trying to pinpoint all the injuries. She cried as she struggled to get her breath for the second time. And when she tried to haul herself to her feet, he pushed her down again, and she lay still, clutching her rib cage, crying, broken, on the floor. "Please..."_

_"How do you think Susan felt when she died!" He screamed. "How much pain was she in because of you? You don't deserve to be happy. You don't deserve to get married, not when I'm alone. Not when you killed my wife!"_

_Lexie's voice was lost in the background again, having no effect on her father as he glared down at Meredith's crumpled form. _

_"You don't deserve to be loved. You don't deserve a family. You don't deserve him." He crouched beside her as she struggled to breath, the pain around her lungs and diaphragm almost overwhelming her. _

_"Please..." She whispered._

_"You don't deserve to wear this." His fingers found the ring on her left hand, and she reacted on instinct. A surge of adrenaline had her pushing him away, catching him off balance as he struggled to stay upright in his crouched position. _

_It was all Meredith needed. She staggered to her feet and ran for the door. She could hear Lexie yelling at her, and even following her for a little while, but Meredith couldn't stop if she wanted to. She raced out of the apartment building and across the road. She lost track of the turns she made and the roads she ran along in the dark. When she finally stopped, she almost collapsed under the burning in her lungs and pain overload in her brain. There was a bench across the street and all she wanted to do was lie down and cry. All she wanted to do was close her eyes and give up. She didn't know how badly she was hurt. She didn't know where she was. It was late and it was dark. And no one knew where she was. _

_Sobs threatened to take over as she stumbled towards a phone booth. She needed to call Derek. If Derek was there, everything would be okay. She needed him._

"Well, I'm glad you have sorted everything out now," Carol offered, pulling Meredith back into the present.

"Me too." She offered Carol a smile. She may not have ever had the father she had hoped for, but she was getting the mother she had always wanted. And she had Derek. And she was quickly learning the truth in the words he had spoken to her almost a year before; that dreams change. She no longer longed for a relationship with her father, or a better relationship with her mother. She longed to be his wife, to find a permanent place in his family. "And I'm sorry that we concerned you."

"Nonsense, dear," Carol told her, waving a hand. "It's my job as a mother to worry about my children."

Before they could say any more, a small herd of young children came screeching around the corner of the house, Phil close on their heels with a bucket of water. He and the kids were wet to varying degrees. Five year old Kim was in the lead and quickly ran to her mother, seeking safety in her lap as Anna laughed. Nancy's youngest daughter, Haley tried hiding beside her mother, and ended up making a jump for her aunt in the next deck chair when Phil began to pour water onto Nancy. And when Haley tried to use Natalie as a human shield, Phil didn't hesitate to dump the entire bucket on his wife and niece.

Haley laughed aloud and made a run for it, while Natalie took off after her husband, Nancy close on her heels, both yelling for revenge. And Kim pulled herself out of Anna's lap and ran the other way around the house, giggling wildly at her successful strategy.

Meredith blinked as it was suddenly quiet again. Anna was laughing as her daughter disappeared around the corner, and Carol was shaking her head, a gentle smile playing across her lips as she turned to Meredith.

"Like I told you at Thanksgiving, Meredith, I get these people together, and they start regressing decades."

Meredith laughed. "So I've noticed." There was a series of screeching noises as Phil and Simon came running around the corner, Nancy, Natalie and Kathleen on their heels. Apparently the tables had been turned on Phil, and Meredith knew enough about the Shepherd women to know that Simon may very well have been in the wrong place at the wrong time and had been lumped in with Phil. And it also seemed that all of the kids were open to attacking.

Kim returned to Anna's lap, and Megan followed her to the table, also seeking protection.

"Aunt Meri-deth!" She cried, pulling herself onto Meredith's lap without a moment of hesitation. "Save me!"

Meredith laughed as she steadied the young girl as she hid her face against Meredith's shoulder.

"Release the girl, or you both get wet," Kathleen threatened, standing over Meredith, a bucket of sloshing water hanging suspiciously in front of her.

"No!" Megan cried dramatically, clutching onto Meredith shirt with tight fists as she giggled loudly.

"Okay, don't say I didn't warn you..."

"Hey, that's not-" Meredith was cut off with a whoosh as several litres of water came crashing down on her and the young girl in her lap. "Fair," she finished as she wiped the hair that was plastered against her face out of her eyes. Megan laughed and took off again, without so much as muttering an apology.

Anna laughed at her, until her sister snuck up behind her and she was subjected to the same treatment. The only person who seemed to be immune was Carol. "That's it," Anna muttered. "Come on Mer, this is war."

Meredith laughed and followed her around the house, feeling like one of the children as she too laughed wildly about the situation. Anna managed to extract two buckets for them and they took control of the hose, quickly filling both vessels. However, when Meredith was finished filling hers, Kathleen was on her way over for her own refill. Without a moment of hesitation, Meredith turned the hose on her. It was much more effective than lugging heavy buckets around.

Kathleen screeched and jumped out of range, to the cheering of the men. It seemed the older kids, along with Spencer and Dean, had made their way up to join in the water fight. Anna cheered her on as she soaked everyone in range, including Simon, Nancy and Phil, who had started the whole thing and who had managed to stay driest the longest.

She and Anna abandoned the hose and ran for the driveway, seeking protection and hiding among the multitude of vehicles, not having noticed the one that had just pulled up.

000

Derek wasn't surprised to see an ongoing water fight in the works as he put the Explorer in park and stepped out, his best man doing so beside him. He was, however, surprised to spot his fiancée and his sister racing down the drive towards him and Mark, buckets of over flowing water in their hands, and an angry, wet, mob on their heels. "This can't be good," he mumbled as he briefly debated locking himself in the safety of the car. His hand found the handle.

"Open the car!" Anna called, abandoning her bucket as she made a leap for the back seat. Meredith followed suit, and Derek jumped into the driver seat again, hitting the lock button. It was then that he realized Mark had strayed too far from the passenger door and was locked out. But it was too late to let him in; they were surrounded. And they watched as Mark tried to talk himself out of an inevitable soaking as he took the brunt of several people's full buckets and glared at Derek before turning for the house and his own ammunition.

"So, you ladies having a nice afternoon?" He asked nonchalantly as he glanced in the rear-view mirror, ignoring the angry mob of bucket wielding people surrounding the car, knocking on every window and trying every handle. "I hope you're not staining the seats. I do have a deposit I'd like to get back..."

Anna laughed. "No worries, big brother, we're not that wet. We're definitely wining."

"Hmm," he mumbled, watching as the crowd began to disperse slowly. Though he knew they would stand guard for as long as it took. "And can I thank you for dragging me into this?"

"You're welcome," they said in unison.

He rolled his eyes.

"Did you get the tuxes okay?" Meredith questioned.

He nodded. "Yup. They're in the back, and hopefully we'll be able to get out of this without them both getting soaked." The family had gone back to their own games, but Derek spotted Tina on the front porch, keeping watch over the car. She was definitely there to watch their every move. And her yell would bring a mob of people to cut them off before they made it to the door.

"We just need to get inside," Anna mumbled, her eyes glancing across the landscape as she took in every hiding spot she knew of. "They can't touch us if we're inside..."

"We could make a run for it," Meredith suggested.

"We'd never make it," Derek assured. "They'll have sentries placed everywhere. We wouldn't even make it half way."

"So, I guess we're hanging out here," Anna said lightly. "They'll lose interest eventually."

Derek met his sister's eyes through the mirror. "When do you ever know them to lose their interest in revenge?"

"Good point." She shrugged. "Though it's only two hours till dinner."

Derek sighed, knowing he would very well be spending the next couple hours in the car, and even then they would most likely still be ready and waiting for them.

"We could pretend we were going into town," Meredith suggested. "And park the car out of sight and sneak back to the house from a different direction. Then they wouldn't see us coming."

"Mer, you're brilliant," Anna exclaimed. "Derek, you chose well."

He laughed and turned the key in the ignition with a competitive smirk, hoping this would work, and determined to try. There was nothing he enjoyed more than messing with his family's heads'. They drove the car down the driveway and parked it out of sight on the side of the quiet road. It would be a hike back to the house, as they were going the long way, through the forest.

There were a number of small paths through the trees, most of which Derek knew, even if they were overgrown. He and Mark had spent years of their youth exploring. "So," he prompted as he began to lead the way. "Did you talk to Cristina this morning?" She and his sisters had headed out in the morning to take care of flower girl outfits for Megan and Stephanie, and a ring bearer outfit for Spencer. He and Mark had left before she had returned.

She reached for his hand as she trudged along beside him. "Yeah. She called from the airport; said she picked up the dresses and rings fine, and they were just about to check in." She laughed. "Oh, and she said that we owe her for making her deal with Izzy. Apparently Izzy is 'off the wall' with excitement."

Derek laughed. "I wouldn't want to be on a plane with her for five hours."

Meredith shook her head. "She was bad enough on the way to that conference. And that was only a conference."

"Izzy; I knew I knew that name," Anna spoke up. "She was the co-worked I met at the conference."

Derek smiled. Meredith had been sent to a surgical conference with Izzy a little over a month after her incident with Thatcher. With a cast on her arm for six weeks, she had been unable to be performing any surgery in the OR, and so had been sent to the conference. Izzy had excitedly volunteered. He had been concerned she would be uncomfortable with all of the people; conferences were not quiet places. But he had been relieved when she had called home the second night to announce she had bumped into his sister.

"Okay, so Izzy I know. And George, who is your intern..."

Meredith nodded. "And Cristina, my best friend. You...kind of met her... She was the one who came running when Derek and I were showing you guys our apartment in Seattle..."

"The angry one?"

Derek laughed as Meredith explained the situation. Cristina had spent days trying to discover the identity of the intern who beat her on the exam after she had discovered she had been ranked second. Meredith hadn't known how to tell her it had been her. And when Cristina had found out Meredith had been lying to her, she had been very angry, and had shown up yelling at their apartment.

"And the fourth is?"

"Alex," Meredith supplied. "He was my roommate for a few months. Izzy and George lived with me for most of the year, and then George moved out, and Alex took his room."

"Okay, I think I've got it."

They were nearing the edge of the clearing when a few kids and one of the adults ran past. They paused, waiting for an opening. Anna headed down the tree line a bit, looking for the best path way to the house. Derek wrapped his arms tightly around Meredith's middle and pulled her back flush against his chest, dipping his face to kiss the side of her head and steal a whiff of her hair. He hadn't seen her since early that morning.

"Have you thought about...?" Meredith asked quietly, knowing he would know what she meant. Richard. She was asking about Richard.

He captured her fingers in his. "I'm still not sure."

_He glared angrily at the security guards keeping him and Mark hostage in the closed exam room. As Chief of Surgery, Richard had the authority to have them both kept like this until he had a chance to contact the police. Derek could only hope it wouldn't get to that. He needed to get back to Meredith. He needed to be near her. But several attempts at exiting the room had taught him he would have to wait._

_"This is fucking bullshit," he muttered for the umpteenth time as he paced back and forth, his path as long and straight as he could manage in the small room, while avoiding Mark and the two security guards by the door._

_"It is," Mark agreed, sitting back on a chair, arms crossed, scowling at the guards. "You guys see us every day. Do you really believe any of this shit?"_

_"I'm sorry, Dr. Sloan, but we're just following orders."_

_"That's bullshit," Derek responded. "I'd never hurt her; not ever."_

_Before the guards could respond again, there was a knock at the door, and Richard appeared in the doorway as it was swung open. He motioned for the guards to leave, and shut the door behind him. Mark sat up straighter, but continued to scowl, his arms still crossed angrily. Derek stopped his pacing, still glaring, his eyes now focussed solely on the man in the doorway._

_"Derek," Richard said quietly. "I'm sorry you were accused, but we had to make sure."_

_Derek scoffed. "There's no we, Richard, we all know that. This is all about _you_. You and your fucking promise to Ellis Grey."_

_"It's hospital policy to-"_

_"The policy can only be implemented with reasonable assumption. You don't have any reason to believe I would ever hurt her."_

_"At the time-"_

_"At the time, you had her denying it. Me denying it. Mark claiming we were at a game and picked her up after she called me. You also had Bailey trying to keep you away..."_

_Richard sighed heavily. "Look, we don't need to get into this. I was wrong. I had an intern come to me with the allegations and I had you bringing a very injured resident into the clinic, and not the ER. And I had Bailey and Sloan being secretive. What was I supposed to think?"_

"_You were supposed to know I would never hurt her. You were supposed to know I was doing everything in her best interest."_

_Richard sighed heavily. "I am sorry, Derek, deeply sorry. I was wrong to point my finger at you. And some information has come forward, and I know now that it wasn't you."_

_Derek rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you would ever think..."_

_"I'm sorry, Derek. I am."_

_Derek stepped up to his former mentor, his eyes flashing with anger. He was breathing hard, only a few inches from Richard. He clenched his fists, wanting nothing more than to hit the older man. After the night he had, he felt it would be justified. The woman he loved had been beaten. He had been accused by his boss, and forcibly dragged away from her as she lay in a hospital bed crying. He had promised her he wouldn't leave her side, and now she had been alone for well over an hour. "I assume this means we can go."_

_"Of course, but Derek-" He still wasn't moving to get out of the way of the door._

_"I don't want to hear it. All I need is to know where she is, and for you to get the hell out of my way."_

_Richard told him her new room number, but didn't move. "Derek, I'd really like to talk with you first."_

_Derek felt his fists tightening on their own accord._

_"I am truly sorry, Derek," Richard was saying. "I overreacted. But you need to understand; I still see her as a little girl. She's the closest thing I've ever had to a daughter. I feel the need to protect her, to keep her safe."_

_"Yeah, well, so do I. And you're getting in the way of that." He stepped even closer, his breathing ragged. He really wanted to hit the man standing in front of him._

_"It's not worth it, man," Mark appeared at his shoulder, his hand clutching to Derek's elbow, forcing his attention away. "Let's just go. Meredith needs you."_

_"I'd really like to sit down and discuss this with both of you before you go anywhere," Richard explained, his voice taking on an air of authority._

_Derek scoffed. "Go to hell." He stepped around the chief, forcing his way to the door._

_"Derek!" He called. "Dr. Sloan..."_

_Mark paused at the doorway. "I'm with Derek. You can go to hell."_

"That's okay," Meredith responded, pulling him from his thoughts.

He squeezed her hands. "I asked Mark for his opinion. He still hates Richard almost as much as I do. But...he told me that if I could forgive him for what he did with Addy, that I could probably also forgive Richard." He sighed and leaned his face into the side of her head as he held her, breathing in her hair, the lavender heightened by the dampness she had been inflicted with during her water fighting escapades. The trees moved around them as a small gust of wind tore across the field and died against the woods. He shut his eyes and for a moment he felt peace.

Meredith nodded, squeezing his hands. "You're a good person, Derek. I guess the only question now is whether you want to forgive Richard."

"Exactly," he agreed easily. "But that's what I don't know."

She leaned back into him and sighed. "I can't answer that for you."

"Why not?" He complained, only half joking. He craved her opinion.

"Because it's your decision; and it's something you have to be happy with and live with and all that crap...and you wouldn't help me."

"When didn't I help you?" He opened his eyes and pulled his head away from hers.

"When I was trying to decide on a name."

He sighed, now realizing why her speech sounded familiar. He had spoken very similar words to her just the day before. "That was different..."

"Not going to work, Derek," she countered with a laugh as she leaned back against him.

He huffed and fell silent, apparently much to her amusement as she continued to laugh. "I just can't decide right now."

"Then wait until tonight, or tomorrow morning at the latest."

"Okay," Anna said as she returned to them. "The back door is out; swarmed with people. And the front door would maybe work, but we'd be seen for sure, so we'd have to run. I think out best bet is the garage door." There was a person door beside the car door in the large garage attached to the close side of the house.

"Okay," Derek agreed, releasing Meredith from his grasp, as he felt his heart beat accelerate with excitement. "Let's do this. How many people were around?"

"Not a lot. If we're quiet I think we can pull this off."

"You ready?" He asked Meredith, who was giggling beside him. She had obviously never done anything like this before. When he was growing up, it was a regular occurrence.

"I guess," she answered with a shrug. "What's the worst that could happen? I get more wet?" She motioned towards her damp shirt and hair.

Anna scoffed. "That's not the point. It's not about staying dry. It's about winning."

"Cristina is going to love you," Meredith mumbled, and Derek laughed as he followed her along to the edge of the trees. The three paused in the protective camouflage of the woods, surveying the ground they would have to cover. It was the quiet end of the house, so this was their best chance.

"Ready?" Anna asked.

"Ready," he answered smoothly, his hand resting against Meredith tensed back muscles. She was ready too.

"Then let's go..." And the three of them took off at a gentle run, quickly travelling across the few hundred feet of grass before they reached the garage. They paused; no one followed them. No one shouted. No one jumped out of hiding with buckets of water. "Okay..." Anna mumbled as she inched across the wall and cautiously ducked her head around the corner, checking out the front of the house. She turned back to them. "No one's paying attention. This is our chance."

She crept around the corner, and Derek urged Meredith along as the three of them made their way through the garage door unseen. And when it came time for everyone else to make their way in before dinner, Derek, Meredith and Anna were sitting on the couch in the living room, content and dry, much to everyone's surprise.

000

Meredith finished her second hamburger and tossed her napkin into the garbage bag tied to the picnic table and wandered closer to the water. This was the second time she had experienced the wonder that was the Shepherd Barbeque. The first time was over Thanksgiving, although it was restrained to the back deck and kitchen due to the cold weather. Now, in the warmth of the summer, the barbeque had been carted down the hill to the small pond near the back left corner of the property, off to the side and down a bit from the field they would be married in a few short days. It was beautiful, and Meredith could understand why they used this spot in the summer. A number of older, well used picnic tables sat scattered around the small field.

Derek came up behind her, his arms once more reaching around her as his chin came to rest on her shoulder. "You having a good time?"

She sighed and leaned back against his strong chest. "Yeah."

His lips pressed against her cheek as he tilted his head. "Good."

"I love it here," she murmured, knowing he would know she meant more than just this particular spot on the land. She meant here, in New York. With his family. In his arms.

"Mmm..." He kissed her cheek again as his arms tightened around her. "I'm glad."

"I can remember how scared I was to come here the first time..." She trailed off remembering her near panic attack in the airport. Derek had spent twenty minutes calming her down enough to get her through security. She had been terrified by the prospect of spending five days in the Shepherd household, on their turf, having not met most of them, and having no idea how to celebrate the holiday.

He laughed at the memory. "You had a right to be nervous."

"I wasn't nervous. I was freaking terrified."

"Well," he continued. "What matters is that you're not anymore."

"No, I'm not," she mumbled as an agreement. She felt at home with these people. She felt accepted; like she was becoming a part of their family.

"Derek!" Phil called, walking towards them.

He loosened his grip as they both turned to face Derek's brother-in-law. Phil smirked, and Mark appeared out of nowhere. And suddenly they had both grabbed a strong hold of him and were dragging him towards the dock, barely slowed down by his struggles.

"Crap," Meredith muttered, knowing what was about to happen to her when Nancy and Kathleen came at her from both sides. She tried to run, but was quickly restrained.

"This is for the hose," Kathleen told her and she and Nancy lifted Meredith between them, ignoring her struggles. She didn't have enough weight to put up an effective struggle against the two of them.

"That's not fair," Meredith tried. "You got me first."

"Doesn't matter."

They were nearing the edge of the dock; where Derek had just been pushed off the side. Kathleen and Nancy headed right for the end. Meredith saw a flash of dark water before she was swung and released into the air.

Falling a few feet down into the water was nothing like the drop she had experienced a little over a year ago, but it was enough to bring back flashes of memories. She panicked when her downward momentum paused, her body twisted, not knowing which way was up, like she was stuck in a deep, dark, heavy limbo. But this time when she inhaled half a mouthful of water, it didn't burn with cold on its way down. Her toes touched bottom and she swum upward for the surface.

She gasped for breath as her head broke the surface, just in time to see Simon throwing a fighting Anna into the water beside her. Meredith coughed and sputtered, mentally reminding herself to keep her mouth closed the next time she found herself falling towards a body of water; maybe things would have ended differently for her last time. She could still remember the burning she had felt when her body had insisted it try to breathe even though she knew she was underwater. And she could remember how disconcerted she felt when the third breath didn't hurt at all. And when she had finally found her way to the surface, she could barely breathe, let alone yell for help. Her lungs felt heavy and saturated like she had never experienced. It hurt; and she couldn't begin to imagine a way out of the water. And the helplessness had begun to take over.

Anna surfaced beside her. "You guys are dead!" She yelled at the gloating faces above her. "You okay?" She asked, turning to Meredith, suddenly concerned.

"Fine," Meredith sputtered, trying not to make a scene as she pulled herself from her trance. This wasn't like the last time. "Just swallowed some water..." She coughed for good measure.

"You sure, cause you look a bit white... You do know how to swim, right?"

"Yeah," Meredith said more confidently. This may have been her first time back in the water in a year, but she definitely did know how to swim.

Derek appeared beside her, having swum around from the side of the dock. "Are you okay?" He asked, his eyes full of concern. He reached for her, and unsuccessfully tried to support her as they both treaded water.

"I'm fine; just caught by surprise," she quickly reassured him.

"Good," Simon called down from above. "You deserved it."

"Shut up!" Derek exclaimed angrily, causing Meredith to flinch.

"Derek," she said carefully. "It's okay. I'm okay."

"Ah, is Derek upset that he got wet too," Nancy called down at him. "Don't be such a spoil sport."

"It's not-" Derek cut himself off, glaring upward at his family. "That was a stupid thing to do to someone who you don't know enough..."

"Derek!" Meredith hissed, forcing his attention to her. "Look at me. I'm fine."

"But..." He trailed off, finally meeting her eyes. "Are you sure?"

She forwent treading fully for a moment to reach a hand out to him. "I'm sure."

The excessive anxiety seemed to drain off his face. "I'm sorry. I wanted to stop them... I tried..."

"It's fine, Derek," she reassured him with a smile, glad when he smiled back. "This is supposed to be fun, right?"

He nodded, looking even more relieved.

"Let's get out of here," Anna mumbled. "It's freezing."

Meredith followed her to the ladder, knowing exactly how much colder it could have been. Derek wrapped an arm around her and held onto the dock as Anna stepped up the ladder first. "I love you so much," he whispered into her ear.

Her hands found his side as she leaned into him, letting him keep her afloat. "I love you more. And Derek, please don't make a scene when we get out." She didn't need him overreacting and ending up with her labelled as the girl you couldn't mess with. She wanted to be an equal part of the family. And if that meant getting thrown in the pond, then so be it.

He sighed. "I won't."

"Thanks." She pressed her lips against his and proceeded to climb out behind Anna, Derek close on her heels.

Mark offered her a hand once she reached the top step. "I'm sorry, Grey," he offered quietly. "I didn't even think..." He looked guilty, knowing he was the only one who would have known better, and Meredith wanted to roll her eyes. As his and Derek's friendship had healed itself over the past year, Mark had slowly developed a big-brother attitude towards her. And she definitely didn't need both of them being over protective, and with Derek she apparently didn't have a say in the matter.

"It's fine, Mark," she quickly assured.

"I'm sorry, man," he offered to Derek as he appeared beside her.

Derek glared at him, and Meredith elbowed him in the stomach. He sighed. "It's okay," he relented. "I just...come here for a second," he motioned to the other side of the dock, away from Meredith.

Meredith was about to stop them when Derek shot her a look, and she recognized a glimmer in his eyes. Mark stopped beside Derek, right at the edge of the dock, completely unsuspecting. Derek leaned close, as if he were about to say something, when he quickly shot his hands out and pushed his best friend backwards into the water. The crowd, still up, away from the pond cheered. Meredith laughed.

"Now we're even," Derek called as Mark surfaced.

"That was cheap, man!" Mark called back as he began to swim around the dock for the ladder.

Derek laughed and met Meredith's eyes. Meredith rolled hers and then narrowed them when he very discreetly motioned to the group at the end of the dock, laughing at Mark as he swum around to the ladder. She nodded and he glanced at Anna, who was also up for the challenge. They got within a few feet before anyone clued in to what they were doing. Phil was caught off guard when they started pushing, and got too close to the edge, where he was easily pushed off. Derek and Anna took on Kathleen and Simon. Kathleen was leaning off the dock, holding onto her husband, who wouldn't let go of Derek's arm. In the end, Derek simply jumped off with them to ensure the win. And Meredith managed to push Nancy off the dock, but was unprepared when the older woman grabbed a hold of her arm, and pulled her in again as well, leaving Anna as the only one standing on the end of the dock, cheering in triumph.

The second time Meredith was submerged under the water she made sure to keep her mouth closed. And when she surfaced again, she did so laughing.

000

Hours later Meredith found herself swathed in one of Derek's large sweatshirts, huddled beside him on a log as they sat around a small fire with his family. Another experience to check off in her book of things she'd never done before. The kids had had a blast cooking, and often burning, marshmallows on sticks they had found in the forest, until they had finally been sent to get ready for bed, leaving only the adults.

The evening was relatively cool, and Meredith was chilled, having spent over an hour playing in the pond. They had managed to throw in almost every adult, and a few of the children. Dean, the only adult other than Carol to remain dry, had offered to drive to the airport for them so they wouldn't have to rush to get showered and redressed.

Meredith sighed happily as she leaned into Derek's warmth. He had been fine since the first time she had ended up in the water, albeit a tad clingy. It had been almost thirteen months since her inadvertent dive off the pier into Elliot Bay, and her subsequent drowning. They had dealt with his fears the last summer and he had been fine for the better part of the past year. However, three weeks prior, the morning news had announced it to be the anniversary of the ferry crash that had claimed over thirty lives. He had definitely been clingy that day. And he was being a little clingy now. And his family had obviously noticed his reaction to her initial toss into the pond. Every once in a while she would catch someone sending her a concerned look, but chose to ignore them at the time. Only Carol knew of the incident. And she was certain they would all know one day, but she hoped not today.

She sighed and rested her head on Derek's shoulder. "I'm tired," she said quietly. "Not used to so much exercise..."

He laughed and pressed his lips against the top of her head. "Mmm-hmm," he agreed. "But guess what?"

"What?"

"We're getting married in three days," he whispered.

"We are," she agreed with a laugh. They had been doing this to each other since Monday. We're getting married in five days. We're getting married in four days. We're getting married in three days... "Actually, it's closer to two and a half."

"Even better," he answered easily.

She lifted her head off his shoulder and pressed her lips against his, not caring who could be watching. "I love you," she murmured, breathless, when she pulled away.

"I love you more."

Meredith shook her head with a laugh. "Not true."

"It is true."

"No, it's not. I love _you_ more."

"Sorry, babe, but it's the other way around..."

She snorted. "Did you just call me _babe_?" They weren't usually ones for pet names. A few would come up at times, more in joking than anywhere else. He had definitely never called her babe.

He laughed. "Maybe..."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Whatever; you're still wrong." She lay her head back down against him, and must have drifted off, because he was suddenly shaking her awake. "Wha...?" She mumbled, blinking groggily.

He offered her a smile and tilted his head to motion towards a group of people making their way down the last hill to the lowest field; where they were sitting. "They're here."

She smiled and stood.

"These people look familiar?" Dean called. "Because if they don't I'll take them back and grab four better ones..."

Meredith laughed and made her way to meet them, only to have Izzy come racing down towards her, practically bouncing with every stride.

"I'm so excited for you!" She called as she pulled Meredith into a bear hug. "You're getting married! Soon!" She pulled back, still bouncing. "And this place is beautiful! I loved the house! Oh, and a bonfire, that's awesome!"

"Shut up, Tinkerbell," Cristina demanded. She exchanged a glance with Meredith. "Seriously, she's been like that since you called me yesterday. Five hours on a plane. You would think she's at least slow down..."

"Sorry about that," Meredith offered, exchanging another look with Cristina as Izzy moved on to Derek, pulling him into a hug as she continued her excited babbling.

"This is pretty awesome, Mer," George stated as she stepped in to greet her.

"Thanks for coming at such a last minute," She told him as they exchanged a short hug.

"Are you kidding? I wouldn't have missed it."

"Thank-you, George."

"I wouldn't have missed it either," Alex copied as he too stepped forward.

Meredith laughed and hugged him too. "Thanks, Alex." She stepped back. "Well, I guess you need to come and meet everyone..." She swallowed as she turned to lead them down to the fire, suddenly nervous.

"This is Cristina, Alex, George and Izzy," Meredith said as she paused before the circle of people around the fire. "My...family. And this is Kathleen and Simon; Nancy, who's married to Dean, who picked you up, so you know him, obviously; Natalie whose husband Phil is inside with the kids; Anna and Spencer; and Carol," she finished.

"Wow, you weren't kidding he has a big family," Cristina mumbled.

"Nope," Meredith said with a laugh.

Carol got up and came over to them. "I'm so glad you kids could make. I'm Derek's mother, Carol. So, make sure you all make yourselves comfortable this weekend."

"It's really nice to meet you," Izzy exclaimed, stepping forward and holding out her hand.

Carol shook. "Well, it's good to finally meet Meredith's family. We're her other family."

The blatant use of the term brought tears to Meredith's eyes. Two years ago she had no one. And now she had two families. Derek slung an arm around her waist and kissed the side of her head as they watched their families introduce themselves. Or really, they watched as Izzy bounced from person to person around the circle, with a reluctant George, Cristina and Alex behind her.

"Okay, so we need to take them to their hotel," Derek mumbled into her hair. "It's pretty late. They should probably check in soon."

Meredith nodded. It was almost eleven. "How far away is the hotel?"

"Depends which one they're staying at."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, which on are they staying at?"

He pulled away enough to meet her eyes. "How bad is it going to be if I say I don't know?"

Meredith blinked, suddenly realizing what they hadn't done; realizing what it had been that had been bugging her earlier that day. "Crap," she mumbled. "We didn't book them any rooms for tonight..." She whispered. They had booked rooms for the rest of the week; Thursday through Sunday. But there hadn't been enough free rooms Wednesday night; something about a conference in the area. At the time they hadn't known whether they would be able to get her friends off so early in the week, so they had delayed looking for rooms...and apparently forgotten about it. With the number of things that needed to be taken care of to plan a wedding in five days, something was bound to be missed.

"Crap," she muttered again. "What do we do?"

He shook his head, biting back a laugh. "I guess we go start calling hotels..."

"Stop laughing," she demanded, barely able to contain her own giggles.

"Hypocritical much?"

"Shut up," she hissed. "Are we even going to be able to find that many rooms this late at night?"

"When we know there's a conference nearby until tomorrow? Very doubtful..."

"Crap."

He laughed.

"What's going on?" Carol called.

"Uh, it seems we've forgotten to book hotel rooms for tonight..." Derek told her, trying to keep a straight face. He quickly explained what had gone wrong. "But we'll go up right now and call around."

"It's late," Carol said. "Why don't they just stay here tonight? We can shuffle the kids around. There are plenty of beds in the basement."

None of her friends seemed to have a problem with it, in fact, Izzy seemed almost gleeful at the thought of spending the night, and the others just seemed jet lagged and tired enough not to care where they slept, so Meredith quickly nodded. "That would be great. Thanks, Carol."

"It's what I'm here for, dear," she responded with a shrug. "Now, why don't you kids join us for a bit?"

"They have s'mores," Meredith added. "Have you guys ever had them? They're awesome."

Cristina scoffed. "Seriously, Meredith, who hasn't ever had a s'more?"

"Well, me, before tonight..." Maybe that was simply another normal experience she had missed out on.

They all quickly sat, Meredith noticing her friends were sticking relatively close to her and Derek.

"So, you really have a beautiful home, Mrs. Shepherd," Izzy commented.

"Thank-you, dear, but it's Carol."

"Carol," Izzy corrected with a nod. "The house was amazing, and the land is beautiful. And is that even a pond?" She asked, peering through the darkness.

"Yes it is," Carol responded. "A pond that was made good use of today."

"Oooh, did you go swimming? That's awesome."

"Not swimming, exactly," Meredith answered.

"Not voluntarily is more like it," Anna added, causing Meredith to laugh.

"Nope. Definitely not voluntarily."

"We had a water fight that escalated into the three of us," Anna motioned between herself, Meredith and Derek, "Being thrown into the pond."

"They threw you into the water?" Izzy asked, turning to Meredith.

"It's okay," Anna continued before Meredith could respond. "We got them back..."

"They threw _you_ into the water?" Izzy asked again.

"Well, yeah, but-"

"That was a stupid thing to do," Alex spoke up, glancing around.

"Alex," Meredith said quickly. "It's okay."

"But-"

"No. They didn't know." She said the words without thinking. And suddenly everyone was silent. Meredith sighed. Being the girl that almost died, or did die and came back to life, depending on the way you see it, made people look at you differently. And she really just wanted to be normal in their eyes for as long as she could.

"Fine," she relented. "I had a thing...with water...but it's really not a big deal..." She glanced at Derek, trying to read his expression. He offered her a supportive smile, allowing her to make her own decision. "A little over a year ago, on the day of the ferry crash in Seattle, I got knocked off the pier..." She quickly proceeded to explain the situation to Derek's shocked family. "So, yeah..." She finished weakly, having said everything. "I drowned...Derek saved me...and I'm fine now...It's not a big deal anymore..."

"Mer, I am so sorry," Kathleen said, with Nancy nodding her agreement. "I would never have thrown you into the water if I had known..."

Meredith quickly shook her head. "It's fine. There is a huge difference between a few feet down into a pond and over a dozen feet down into Elliot Bay, believe me."

"But-" Nancy tried, but Meredith quickly cut her off.

"No. I'm fine. And I just...don't want to be treated differently because of it. Today was fine; great, in fact. I had fun."

They seemed to accept her explanation, and fell silent.

Meredith sighed, suddenly feeling uncomfortable, knowing she was being judged.

"Well, if you like that..." Alex spoke up, and Meredith was grateful for it until he smirked at her and finished his sentence, "...We have plenty of embarrassing Meredith stories."

Meredith glared at him. "Alex, shut up."

"Oh, we have _tons_ of stories to tell," Cristina added.

"Nobody wants to hear them."

"I do," Anna called; and was joined by her sisters and brothers-in-law. Even Carol looked interested.

Meredith huffed, only now realizing how bad of an idea it was to have both families together. She had already learned that making fun of one member was a good way for families to bond; she had heard many stories of Derek's childhood from his sisters. So for her and Derek's families to bond, it would only make sense that stories would come up. However, Derek was her friend's boss, meaning they would stay away from anything involving him as much as they could. This couldn't end well for her. "No, you don't," she tried, knowing it was useless.

"We could tell them about Steve," Izzy suggested.

The name sounded vaguely familiar to her but she couldn't place it. "Steve..." Meredith muttered.

Cristina rolled her eyes. "Come on, you know..._Steve_...with the problem...that ended up being neural..."

Horror filled her as Meredith realized who they were talking about, and the horrifically embarrassing day that had followed Steve's admittance; that was definitely the day she had once and for all given a sincere farewell to one night stands. "You wouldn't dare," she hissed. She could feel Derek laughing beside her and she quickly muttered for him to shut up. He, also, definitely remembered the day.

"Oh, you know we would," Alex countered. "And there's nothing you can do to stop us..."

"Hey, we just flew you out here..."

He shrugged. "I have my credit card, I could get home if I had to...not that you do anything about it anyway."

Meredith grumbled. "I own the house you live in." She tried a different tactic.

Alex paused. "Fine, but you only get to use that once."

"That's not fair."

"Fine, twice, but that's all I'm offering. You get to veto this and one more."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Fine." She turned to Cristina and Izzy. "And that goes for you two as well." She turned to George. "And you spend enough time there, so it goes for you too."

Cristina scoffed. "You wouldn't have the guts to do anything about it..."

"Try me," Meredith countered, knowing Cristina had her.

"She can't say anything anyway," Derek added, finally coming to her aid. "You were one of his doctor's, were you not?" He asked Cristina. "Ethically, you are bound to privacy laws."

Cristina huffed. "Damn it..."

"Wait," Kathleen called. "We still want to know..."

"No you don't," Meredith answered.

"It's okay, we have others," Cristina reassured. "Now, where to start..." She trailed off, shooting Meredith a triumphant smirk. "How about what Meredith is like on morphine?"

Derek laughed again, and Meredith elbowed him. "I have stories too, you know," she threatened. He rolled his eyes at her and tightened his grip, still smiling.

"Oooh, this sounds good," Spencer said. "Why was she on morphine?"

"I was getting my appendix out. See? Not an interesting story." Meredith tried to stop it there. She only had vague memories of that day, but what she did remember told her this wasn't a story she needed to know.

"Oh, but it's a very interesting story," Derek countered. "You're very open when you're high..."

She gaped at him. "What are you doing?"

He smirked. "Getting you back for siding with my sisters all week."

Meredith huffed, wondering how everything had gone so wrong so quickly. How had she ended up on the losing end of one against fourteen? The ability to veto was there; but she was hesitant to use it for this. There were plenty more, likely worse, things they could use against her. So she sat and silently stewed as they told the story to Derek's laughing family, along with quite a few more, until it was after midnight and it was decided they should go in for the night.

"Oh!" Izzy exclaimed excitedly as they all made to put out the fire and bring in all of the left over s'mores supplies. "Technically it's tomorrow!"

"So?" Meredith asked, throwing her a questioning look.

Izzy bounced over to her. "You're getting married in two days!"

Meredith shook her head at Izzy's antics, but couldn't help the smile that came to her face. And apparently Derek felt the same wave of excitement as his arm found her waist and he pulled himself close.

"No one cares," Cristina countered.

"I care," Izzy countered, dancing around between George and Alex as they hiked up the hill.

Cristina sighed heavily and turned to Kathleen. "Can you throw _her_ into the water?"


	7. FRIENDSHIP

**FRIENDSHIP**

'_Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things.'_

_-- Anon._

**-- Thursday –**

_**"You did good work in there," Derek said, motioning towards the OR through the window in front of them.**_

_**Meredith rolled her eyes. "And you're biased..."**_

_**He chortled and shook his head as he scrubbed at his hands. "That may be true, but I'm also right."**_

_**She said nothing, but her cheeks reddened enough for him to know that the comment hit home. She was very talented; a natural. And he already had faith that she could one day be better than him.**_

_**Derek smirked. "Seriously," he continued as he reached for paper towel to dry his hands. "Those are some mighty fine and talented hands you've got there..." **_

_**She reached for her own paper towel, also having finished scrubbing out. "And how would you know that, Dr. Shepherd?"**_

_**"I have my ways, Dr. Grey," he retorted, not missing a beat. As wonderful as their relationship had been when he had proposed, it had increased ten-fold in the last month. Being engaged had solidified their commitment to each other, and what had resulted was this; them happy, playful, completely at ease. There were no longer any hesitations, no longer any lingering thoughts, no longer any fears. The insecure, vulnerable look that pulled at his heart strings with every appearance had vanished. He hadn't seen it since he had placed the ring on her finger. **_

_**She laughed. "What kind of ways?" She prompted, her eyes sparkling.**_

_**He glanced through the window to guarantee the OR had been completely vacated and they were not being watched. "Well," he began as his eyes shifted back to her face, "there was that thing you did last night with your hands..." He raised an eyebrow.**_

_**She laughed again, stepping forward, reaching to intertwine their fingers. "Well, Dr. Shepherd, you were pretty good with your hands last night, too."**_

_**"Thank-you for the compliment, Dr. Grey. It means a lot coming from you."**_

_**It was her turn to raise an eyebrow. "Well, they better not be coming from anyone else."**_

_**Derek laughed, dropping her hands to reach for her waist, his fingers finding purchase along her hip bones. He pulled close to her and planted several short, soft kisses on her lips. He'd wanted to do that for his entire surgery. "Trust me, Mer, your opinion is the only one I want."**_

_**She smiled warmly at his words and sighed, leaning her forehead against his for several seconds. "Okay," she said when she pulled away, before planting a lingering kiss on his lips. "We need to go talk to the family."**_

_**He nodded. "We do."**_

_**She giggled. "You're not moving..."**_

_**"Neither are you," he countered. **_

_**She sighed and offered him another smile as she pulled away from him. "Fine, I'll be the strong one today."**_

_**"Good, cause I don't think I have the strength today. You're too irresistible."**_

_**She shook her head. "Now I really know you're biased, Derek. I've been on for thirty hours and just got out of an eight hour surgery."**_

_**"You're always irresistible to me," he said quickly. "And you're always beautiful."**_

_**The tiny smile that fluttered to her lips made his heart swell. **_

_**"Let's go tell the family the good news, and then I can finally take you home..."**_

_**She rolled her eyes, but her lips failed to drop out of their happy smile. "Okay," she agreed easily, her hand reaching into the breast pocket of her scrub top for the small package of purple fabric. She unzipped it and pulled out her engagement ring. After a week, she had found that hanging it on her necklace during surgery was too much effort to be constantly removing the chain. And Addison had used a large safety pin, so she wanted to stay away from that. He had found the small bag she was using now. **_

_**Derek smiled at the realization that two rings would be kept in that bag during surgery in the near future. They had discussed getting married that summer, and were going to the same jeweller where he had picked out the engagement ring to look for wedding rings the following day. He reached for the small ring before she could replace it on her finger. **_

_**Meredith looked up, questioning his motives, but he smiled and reached for her left hand, before tenderly sliding the ring back up her finger. The jolts of electricity that had been there the first time he had done it were still there, only moderately decreased in voltage. **_

_**"There," he said quietly. "Right back where it belongs."**_

_**"Yeah." She closed her fingers around his. "Right where is belongs..." **_

**000**

Derek awoke with a start to a rumbling in the hall as a herd of giggling children tumbled by the door on their way up from the back hallway. He shifted and sighed, his ears picking up the pitter-patter of fat rain drops falling on the roof above his room. A second, smaller, herd of children hurried past, giggling and shushing each other. They were obviously stuck amusing themselves indoors due to the weather. And even though the house was very large, fourteen children stuck inside took up a lot of space.

He yawned and rolled over, seeking out the warm body next to him.

Meredith mumbled something incoherent as he snaked a hand across her stomach and pulled himself closer to her, resting his head on the pillow beside her, his chin resting above her shoulder. Still mostly unconscious, she snuggled closer to him before settling again, her breathing returning to regular deep, even breaths.

He smiled and pressed his lips against the side of her head, inhaling the wonderful scent wafting from her hair. "I love you," he whispered into her hair.

Meredith shifted and mumbled again, her hand finding the one he had draped across her, and her fingers closed around his.

Derek chuckled. Other than when she was awoken by the sound of a hospital pager, she wasn't quick to wake. He squeezed her hand and sighed happily at the feeling of her even breaths filling her chest every few seconds. It had been over a year since her drowning incident, and the memory hardly crossed his mind anymore, but it definitely had the previous day. The moment Mark and Phil had begun dragging him towards the dock, Derek had known exactly what was about to happen. And he had struggled to get free; not to avoid getting wet, but to avoid Meredith ending up in the water. He had surfaced just in time to see his sisters swing her off the end of the dock and he had begun swimming for her on instinct, overwhelmed by the need to save her; overwhelmed by the fear that she wouldn't be able to surface on her own.

But she had. He had found her treading water beside his sister, none the worse for wear. And overall, he was glad for what had happened. It had been a year, and they were both past it, but he hadn't even realised they had avoided the water in that time. There would be no more avoiding now. By the time they had finally called a family-wide truce, she had been in the pond more times that he could count. And she had come up on her own every time.

She was okay; still breathing beside him, right where he needed her to be. Right where she would always be. His heart soared with the thought. Two days. In two days she would be his wife. Derek couldn't wait.

He pressed his lips against the side of her head. "Mer..." He mumbled. "Time to wake up..."

Her breathing shallowed and she shook her head.

He laughed. "Meredith..."

"No..." She grumbled.

"Yes," he countered with a smirk.

She groaned. "Why?"

"Because it's morning."

"Hmpfff."

He chuckled. "Guess what?"

"What?" She asked quietly, her eyes still closed.

He leaned in close, his lips just touching her ear. "We're getting married in two days..."

Despite the early hour and the fact that she had just woken up, a smile appeared on her lips. "We are, huh?"

"Yeah," he breathed into her.

She shifted and rolled over to face him, her green eyes boring a hole into his. "I can't wait... Or, at least I think I can't wait."

He raised an eyebrow. "You _think_ you can't wait?"

She laughed freely. "I didn't mean it to sound like that," she reassured him quickly. "I just meant...I can't wait to get married, but...I don't know, people who are getting married always seem to go on and on about things they're going to have to give up, or they go on and on about losing their single status and stuff. And I...I'm not feeling any of that, and I'm wondering if it's because we've put the wedding together so quickly or if I'm just...the exception to the rule or whatever. Because, seriously, I'm not feeling it. Is that weird? Am I supposed to be feeling it? Am I supposed to be all 'I won't be single anymore' and 'I'll never get to meet anyone new again' and 'I'll never have any firsts again' and 'I'll never get to have sex with anyone else'? Am I supposed to be freaking out? Because, seriously, it is _me_, we're talking about. _Me_, Derek. I feel like I should be freaking out or something. Cause I'm not the person who gets married without freaking out. Do you think it's weird, that I haven't freaked out yet? Are you freaking out? Am I-"

"Meredith." Derek cut her off. "Seriously, it's way too early to be doing the rambling, hundred questions at once thing."

She giggled. "Sorry."

"Let's start at the beginning. You're not freaking out, but you think you should be?" He asked for clarification.

She shrugged. "Should I be? Are you?"

"No and no."

She smiled. "Really? Cause I thought it was normal."

He thought back. "I guess I was freaking out before I married Addy, but we obviously weren't right for each other, so maybe that was why." He offered her a wry smile. "Too bad I didn't meet you first..."

She snorted. "Derek, if you had met me before you met Addison, I would have been in high school, like the beginning of high school."

He bit back a laugh. "Yeah, I guess that wouldn't have gone well. Would have been a little bit controversial..."

She nodded. "And a lot illegal..."

This time he did laugh. "Okay, moving on... I'm not freaking out about anything this time. There isn't a doubt in my mind that this is exactly where I want to be."

"Me too," she responded. "It's weird, because even a year ago we were in a bad place. Remember? We stopped talking, not that we talked all that much to begin with, and things got pretty bad. And if some had told me then that a year later we would be two days away from our wedding and I would be across the country with your family feeling completely at home...well," she shrugged, "I probably would have had them admitted to psych."

Derek laughed at her bluntness. "Yeah, things weren't so good. But we figured it out. And we're here now."

"We are," she said with a smile, weaving her fingers through his.

"But we did put this wedding together awfully fast," Derek ventured. "Is there anything you're regretting?"

"No, I don't think so." She shook her head.

"You can tell me if there is..."

She laughed. "Seriously, Derek, there's nothing. And I think the fact that there's nothing is freaking me out more than anything else could. I mean, come on, I'm not the person everyone expects to get all the way to, and down, the aisle without any problems or freak outs, right?"

He hesitated, unsure of what she was expecting from him. If he disagreed, he would be lying. However, if he agreed, he could be called an ass. In the end, the decision was made for him.

She scoffed and shook her head. "Seriously, Derek, that was practically rhetorical."

"Sorry." He offered a wry smile. "You do have a history," he acknowledged.

"I do," she agreed. "But I do like to think I have a much different future."

"We can have any kind of future you want."

She rolled her eyes and leaned close for a quick kiss. "You're being a sap."

He laughed when she pulled away. "Maybe so, but I'm _your_ sap. You're stuck with me."

"I'm okay with that," she said lightly.

"Good." It was his turn to kiss her. He pulled back and regarded her for several moments. "Are you feeling apprehensive about any of the things you said? Not being single? Not being able to meet new people?"

She shook her head. "Nope. I'm actually very much looking forward to not being single anymore; not that I've exactly been single in over a year..."

"What about no more firsts?" He raised an eyebrow. "Or not having sex with anyone else?"

She gazed into his eyes for several seconds before offering him a small smile. "Honestly, Derek, that's a relief more than anything. I mean, I know I have a history...and a reputation..." she avoided his eyes. "And I get that people expect me to miss it. But the whole bar scene and everything, I..." She cautiously met his eyes again and he offered a supportive smile. This wasn't a topic their conversations had ever ventured into. He had a feeling she wanted to forget her past, and he didn't exactly want to hear the stories. But it was a part of her; it was part of what had made her who she was today. Everything she had ever done was a part of who she was now. There was nothing he wouldn't listen to or discuss with her. She took a breath and continued. "I kind of feel like I did what I had to, you know? It was the only way I knew to be close to other people. I never understood the whole other side of things..." She smiled at him. "That is, until you forced yourself into my life."

"Forced myself?"

She nodded. "Absolutely. I thought I was doing fine, and then along came you, all high and mighty and dreamy. And here we are, two years later, about to get married."

"And here we are," he agreed. "So, the whole sex thing isn't an issue?"

"It was the only way I knew to be close to anyone," she admitted quietly. "But you've proved otherwise." She smirked. "And don't get me wrong. Sex with you is..." she shook her head, "amazing doesn't even begin to describe it. But there's so much more that I'd never known before. I don't ever want to go back to..." She trailed off and offered him a gentle smile. "Only having sex with you for the rest of my life is something to look forward to, not something to freak out about." She paused. "I always knew something was missing, but I never understood what it was until you. It feels different...when I'm with you, Derek. Even just the sex is different. So familiar, so...intimate. I never knew it could feel that way. And I never want to go back to it feeling cold and forced."

He felt his heart constrict and go out to her at her quiet words, once again proving just how badly her parents had done; that her daughter had been forced to use one night stands as her only way of feeling connected to the world around her. "I'm glad you know otherwise now, Mer," he told her. "And sex with you is more than amazing, too," he added.

She laughed and her lips settled into a mischievous grin. She shifted and pushed him onto his back before rolling over him. "Why don't we sample a little bit of that amazing-ness?"

"I like the way you think," he responded easily, his hands finding her hips as her lips met his. She buried her hands in his hair and deepened the kiss. Derek groaned and rolled them over, his hands travelling up her sides.

Meredith was just beginning to pull at the hem of his thin shirt when the door to their room swung open. He started and rolled away abruptly.

Two giggling forms made their way into the room. Megan and Haley.

Derek shuddered as he tried to force his breathing back to normal. Meredith was wide-eyed beside him, clutching the sheets up to her chin, regardless of the fact that she was decked out in a full set of pajamas. Derek couldn't help but send a silent prayer to the powers-that-be that they had re-dressed last night.

"What are you girls doing?" He asked as they came closer.

"We're playin' hide and seek," Megan answered.

"We need a good place to hide," Haley added. "'Cause Tina's seekin' and she's real good."

"Girls," he chastised gently, not wanting to do anything to risk his top position in the uncle category, but needing them to not ever do this again. "What's the rule about coming into closed bedrooms in the morning?"

Both of his nieces looked down.

"Not to do it," Haley finally stated.

Derek smiled. "Exactly."

"We're really sorry, Uncle Derek," Megan said quickly. "Did we wake you and Aunt Meri-deth up?"

Derek glanced beside him, where Meredith was still plastered against the pillows, eyes still wide, fingers still clutched to the covers. "Yes," he told them, wanting to cover for Meredith's stunned expression. Both girls were six, and too young to have any understanding of what they had almost walked in on, but he didn't need to make them suspicious. And he definitely didn't need them to say anything that would come off suspicious to any of the adults. And he really didn't need Meredith putting up a sex ban again.

"We're real sorry," Haley apologized.

"It's okay," Derek assured. "We're not upset." He looked to Meredith to back him up, but she was still silent, her eyes only now beginning to return to their normal size. "We're not upset at all," he repeated, "Right, _Aunt Meredith_?"

She startled from her trance and nodded. "Right," she agreed, although her voice was uncharacteristically high and waver-y. "Not upset at all. Not a problem at all. Not-"

Derek shifted his foot and kicked her discreetly in the leg, cutting her off before she began to ramble, because one, that would look suspicious, and two, he knew from experience that if you let her ramble long enough, she would eventually state exactly what she was trying to avoid saying.

"We'll go hide somewhere else," Megan said. She and Haley turned and left the room, closing the door behind them.

"Oh my god," Meredith groaned as soon as the door was closed. "Oh my god," she repeated. "Your nieces walked in on us...on us..."

"They didn't walk in on anything," he assured. "They think we were asleep."

She shook her head. "But...no...we weren't asleep...we were about to...oh my god...what if they had walked in a few minutes later? What if they had seen...? Oh my god."

Derek couldn't help laughing at her reaction.

"Shut up!" She hissed. "This is not funny."

"It's a little funny. Look, it happens. But Mer, they're six years old. They didn't see anything. They don't know anything."

"What if they say something to their parents? And...crap, my friends are here too. I'll never hear the end of it."

"Meredith, relax, and listen for just a second. They didn't see anything. They don't know anything. And if they say anything to their parents it's that they came in and woke us up. And if anyone says anything, we just agree, okay? Say that we were asleep and they woke us up."

Her breathing calmed. "Okay. I can do that. Okay."

He narrowed his eyes. "And that means, you need to give a short, nonchalant agreement if they ask you. No rambling, because _that's_ suspicious."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "I _can_ speak normally, Derek."

He snorted. "There are times when I'd have to disagree."

There was a moment of silence between them as she bit back a laugh and attempted to keep a harsh expression. Then her resolve cracked and her lips curled up into a smile. "Fine. _Sometimes_ I have trouble expressing myself in the same number of words someone else could. But that's really only when I don't have any warning. I'll be fine."

He smiled and pressed his lips against hers. "Good." He shifted closer, so that he was hovering half over her. "Now, where were we..." He dipped his lips down to her neck.

She shook her head and pushed at his chest. "Not a chance."

He rolled his eyes. "I'll lock the door."

"Not a chance," she repeated. "They know we're awake now. We have to go downstairs."

"No we don't..." He tried to return to her neck, but she was still holding him away.

"Yes. Yes, we do. Or they'll know."

He met her eyes and bit back a laugh. "They'll know what, that we're two grown adults who are getting married in two days and have had sex before?"

She glared at him. "See? This is exactly why I vowed not to have sex in this house."

"Oh, come on, we're not going back to that."

"No more sex," she stated. "Especially not right now."

"Mer, you're being a touch irrational."

"I'm allowed to be irrational," she countered. "Look at what just about happened."

"But it didn't happen."

"But it almost happened."

"But it-" Derek cut himself off, knowing this route of arguing was futile with her. He would never win. "Fine, we need to be more careful. How about joining me in the shower?" He raised an eyebrow, but was disheartened by her reaction.

"No. Derek, I told you, we have to get downstairs, or they'll get suspicious."

"So we tell them we showered before coming down. We've already done that most days this week. It's not unusual."

She shook her head. "Not today."

"Mer, come on, you're leaving me in a compromising position here..." He begged.

He could see her biting back a laugh. "It's not my problem; you started it."

He gaped at her. "Excuse me, but it was very much you who started it."

She hesitated. "But..."

He smirked and slid his hand up under the thin fabric of the tee she had, once again, stolen from him. "Come on, remember all the amazing-ness we were going to have..."

"Derek..." She said weakly, and he smirked, knowing he had her.

"Meredith..." He said, in much the same way. He tilted his head, giving her _their _look.

Her expression melted, even as she scolded him. "Don't go doing that..."

He shifted his hand higher, smirking when she leaned into the pressure, subtly directing his movements.

"Fine," she conceded, "but we have to turn the shower off half way through in case anyone is listening to the water. And you have to wait afterwards so that it doesn't look like we're coming down at the same time."

He laughed at her requests, but would take what he could get. He reached for her hand. "Deal."

000

True to his word, Derek stuck around in their room for an extra ten minutes, leaving Meredith to head down to breakfast alone. As soon as her toes touched the main floor from the stairs, she could hear Izzy's excited tone chatting away in the living room.

The scene that awaited her was of no great surprise. Izzy was sitting cross-legged on the short end of the L-shaped couch. George was beside her, tucked into the corner of the couch, looking as if he could use another few hours of sleep. Cristina was nursing a cup of coffee on the short couch along the front wall, which had been pulled up from the front of the living room and left for the week to allow the whole family to sit together. Kathleen and Natalie were sharing the love seat. Their husbands, Simon and Phil, were sitting across from them on the single chairs, occasionally sending Izzy curious glances. And Carol was seated on the long end of the couch.

Meredith said a quick good morning before bypassing the living room for the kitchen, and quickly returned with her own steaming mug of coffee. She collapsed next to her best friend with a yawn.

"You're all up early," she commented.

Izzy shrugged. "I came up to get some water, and I bumped into Natalie in the kitchen, and we got to talking. I guess with five kids, you get up early a lot."

Meredith shifted her eyes between Izzy and Natalie. "How long have you been talking?"

"An hour or two," Natalie answered with a shrug.

"About...?"

Her future sister-in-law smirked. "What's our one common topic of conversation?"

"Oh, god," Meredith groaned, glaring at Izzy. "What have you told them now?" The previous night by the fire had been more than enough.

Izzy laughed. "Nothing that concerns you."

"Nothing that concerns me? How can that be if it's all _about_ me?"

Cristina even laughed at this. "Seriously, Mer, that was the only thing that got me up this early." George nodded his agreement and Meredith groaned.

"Seriously, I didn't think this through enough before we ended up with both families in one house..."

Carol laughed. "Family is a joy, dear."

Meredith raised an eyebrow. "How is having all of my many embarrassing secrets from the past two years being passed between families a joy?"

Carol smirked. "It's a joy to us."

Meredith made a strangled sound as she buried her face in her free hand, ignoring the laughter and snarky comments from the rest of the room.

"Where's Derek?" Natalie asked when Meredith finally pulled her hand away.

"Uh, he just got out of the shower when I came down. He's probably still doing his hair..." She tried to sound nonchalant.

Kathleen laughed. "Sounds like my brother." She shook her head. "Megan and Haley came down looking guilty a few minutes ago. Sorry if they woke you up."

Meredith felt her throat go dry, but she forced a neutral expression to her face and shrugged. "It's fine. We had to get up anyway." The majority of the room accepted her answer. Her best friend, however, could read her almost as well as Derek.

Cristina met her eyes, and Meredith just knew that she had been caught. She sent a pleading look to Cristina, who rolled her eyes and discreetly nodded her head. Meredith sighed in relief. Other than the rampant story telling, Cristina was proving to be a good maid of honour.

There were footsteps in the back hallway and Derek appeared in the doorway, his hair still damp but perfectly styled. He was dressed casually; jeans and an old NYU tee. She felt her heart skip a beat at his entrance. She had seen him in suits. She had seen him in more upscale casual. She had seen him in scrubs. She had seen him in nothing at all. But there was something about the casual, lounging, mussed, just out of bed look that made her heart race and her throat go dry and so many other familiar sensations peak.

His gaze passed over the occupants of the room, offering a casual greeting, and then landed on her. And for a moment, she was lost in his deep blue eyes. Time stopped. All movement and life and conversation around her stopped. All she saw was him. His smile and his hair and the sea of blue that was his eyes. A now familiar and welcome feeling of belonging swept over her. She was going to marry this man.

In two days she would be his wife.

She swallowed hard. He approached her and the trance was broken. Her peripheral vision came back. Life around her seemed to start up again. She moved closer to the middle of the small couch and he collapsed beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

His free hand snaked out to steal her coffee, but she did nothing to stop him. His close proximity was reeking havoc on her limbic system. She had no idea why she was suddenly so affected by his mere presence. He took two sips from the mug before returning it to her almost-shaking hand. She needed to get her emotions under control.

"So," he began, "what embarrassing stories are we telling now?" His arm tightened around her, as if to reassure that he was only joking.

"Not that again," she retorted. "I think me coming down was the only thing that stopped them this morning."

He laughed, low and hearty. Her heart soared and her sensory neurons fired. "I supposed we could give you a bit of a break..."

She rolled her eyes. "Thanks for the thoughtfulness."

"You're welcome," he responded immediately, not missing a beat. "What time are you girls leaving?"

Meredith glanced at the clock on the wall. "I guess in about an hour." She, Cristina and Izzy were going to the bridal shop Natalie had suggested at the beginning of the week to have their dresses fitted again, just in case any alterations needed to take place. Carol and Natalie were going along as a second and third opinion.

"Sounds good." He nodded his head.

"I'm so excited," Izzy spoke up from across the room. "I love trying on dresses and getting fitted..." Her knees bounced as she sat up, anticipation screaming from every pore on her body. "I love weddings."

"We get it," Cristina said, her voice dry. "We've only heard it a few thousand times in the past twenty-four hours."

Izzy expertly ignored her roommate. "I hope there are no problems with the dresses. I'm sure everything will fit just fine. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm still the same size, and you don't look like you've changed..."

Meredith had to shake her head at Izzy's exuberance. "I'm sure it'll be fine too, Iz."

She clapped a hand down onto the cushion next to her. "Isn't this just so exciting? I mean, two years ago, who would have thought?"

Kathleen sat forward with sudden interest. "So, you guys were there from the beginning of this, huh?"

Meredith groaned when Izzy nodded. "Yup." She tilted her head towards George. "We were the first to know; caught Derek leaving one morning before work."

"Okay, we don't need to hear the story," Meredith attempted, all the while knowing her appeal to be a waste of time. The Shepherds were obviously interested.

"Oh, I think we do," Cristina piped up.

Meredith shook her head at her best friend. "Why?" She asked, incredulous.

Cristina shrugged. "It's entertaining."

"Anyway," Izzy continued. "George and I caught him leaving, tried to get Mer to fuss up, because we had known someone had been there, just not who until he came down the stairs..."

Meredith wanted to close her eyes and crawl under a rock. Even Derek's cheeks were red beside her.

"...And Izzy ended up in a yelling match with Meredith in the locker room later that day," Cristina added. "Which was perfect for me, because I got in on the hemispherectomy."

Meredith didn't even have a chance to comment on the fact that Cristina had, of course, remembered the surgery of the day in question.

"Why a yelling match?" Kathleen prompted.

"Well, it didn't look good at the time; an intern and an attending." Izzy shrugged. "Of course, it became very clear that night that it wasn't about getting ahead at work." She tilted her head and met Meredith's eyes, her voice changing. "Because little Meredith was falling for her McDreamy."

Meredith rolled her eyes, doing her best to avoid eye contact with anyone in the room. She knew her face was red and her entire body was hot with embarrassment. "Seriously, Iz..."

"What? It's true. It's what we talked about."

_Oh, my God. You're falling for him._

_Damn it. You poor girl._

_You're all mushy and warm and...full of secret feelings._

"Whatever," Meredith muttered, knowing she was caught.

"Okay, back up a second," Simon said, his attention landing solely on Izzy. "What did you just call Derek?"

Meredith felt Derek tense as Izzy shrugged and answered with a simple, "McDreamy. It's his nickname at the hospital."

Simon, Phil and Kathleen turned towards Derek with barely concealed laughter.

"Oh my god, I can't believe we forgot to mention that," Natalie exclaimed. "They told us that when we flew out to Seattle last summer." She laughed. "Apparently they all call him doctor McDreamy."

Kathleen and Phil were laughing freely. Simon was trying to hold back, his fist slamming onto the arm of his chair. "Knowing that is worth all the crap you and Mark threw at me the first few times I was here."

Meredith laughed, knowing Derek and Mark had put Simon through the ringer when Kathleen had first brought him home. He had been the first brother-in-law. "Mark has one too," she piped up, relieved that the focus was, at least momentarily, off of her.

"That's right," Kathleen exclaimed. "Doctor McSteamy."

The laughter in the room doubled.

"Who came up with them?" Phil asked.

"Meredith," George answered.

"Hey!" She said quickly. "I did not. Cristina started it."

Cristina rolled her eyes. "No one in that hospital has any appreciation for sarcasm. It was meant to be satirical, not literal."

"So, he isn't really doctor McDreamy in Seattle?" Natalie asked with a laugh.

"He definitely wasn't when he was hiding the fact that he was married."

The light mood of the room fell heavily. Silence reigned. The faint ticking of the wall clock, which had fallen into the background before, now stood out ominously. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Meredith swallowed. "Cristina," she said lightly, careful of her best friend's protective streak. Over the past year, Cristina had come a huge way in accepting Derek as a permanent part of her life. But his history and her experience with Burke left a tiny amount of room for doubt, which would flare up when she was cornered. "That doesn't matter now."

Cristina shrugged. "I'm just making sure it's out there. I'm on your side, and I just need to make sure everyone knows that truth, that-"

"They know the truth," Derek cut in before Meredith could. "They know I lied."

"Good," Cristina nodded. "Because you may be McDreamy now, but you weren't when we had to pick up the pieces when you didn't show up at Joe's."

Meredith closed her eyes, not wanting to be pulled from her happy pre-wedding bubble and back to that horrible, heart-breaking night. She opened her eyes and glanced around the room. Derek's family seemed uncertain. They knew the truth, but not necessarily the situation Cristina was referring to. Izzy and George looked a touch uncomfortable, but were looking to her with support. Meredith couldn't help but smile. They had been there for her. They had been on her side.

"And that's something I regret every day," Derek was saying. "Every day." His grip around her tightened.

Meredith took a deep breath. "Okay," she said lightly, trying to diffuse the situation. "It doesn't matter anymore," she repeated, shooting her best friend a pleading glance. "There are no sides anymore."

Cristina regarded her for a long moment before nodding and turning to face Izzy. "And you're wrong, Tinkerbell, you weren't the first to know about them." All tension was gone from her voice, as she fell back into the light-hearted banter from before. "I was."

Izzy shook her head. "How could you possibly? I lived with her."

Cristina scoffed. "You're misjudging my power. I knew from day one, literally. Got Mer to fess up when we were researching Katie Brice in the library on our first shift."

Izzy scoffed but didn't verbally argue. She knew enough to respect that Cristina was telling the truth. "Whatever."

"What about your other friend, Alex, when did he find out?"

Meredith exchanged a glance with Izzy and Cristina and shrugged. "I don't know."

"We didn't really talk to him back then," Cristina added.

"He was kind of an ass," Izzy said. "Well, he's still an ass, but he grew on us."

George spoke up. "I don't know how Alex found out, but I do know how Dr. Bailey found out..."

Meredith looked to him in horror, shocked at the smirk on his face. He had obviously been waiting to bring this up.

"Oh, yes, when she-"

"Veto!" Meredith yelled quickly, cutting Cristina off.

"Oh, come on, Mer," Izzy tried.

"No. I get to veto anything I want. I choose this."

"But we want to know," Phil prompted.

"Never going to happen," Meredith countered.

"It doesn't matter," Cristina said. "Bailey's coming this weekend. Just ask her when she gets here. Meredith can't veto Bailey."

"No one can veto Bailey," Izzy added.

"She wouldn't say anything," Meredith said, wishing she could sound more confident than she felt.

"I can get her to talk," George piped up. "She likes me. I saved her baby."

"Yeah, well, Derek saved her husband."

Derek shifted beside her at her words. "Sorry, Mer, but baby trumps husband."

She turned to Derek with a questioning look. "What?"

He sighed and repeated his statement. "In Bailey's eyes, baby trumps husband. Trust me, I've been there before with her."

Meredith shook her head. This was going to be a long two days. She grumbled. "Why is it so entertaining to pick on me?"

George shrugged. "It's not our fault you give us a lot of ammo."

She glared at him. "I have stories about all of you, you know..."

"Yeah, but anything you know, we all know already," Cristina said, motioning to herself, Izzy and George. "And we don't care about anything you tell them." She motioned to the Shepherds. "Because we won't have to deal with them at every holiday for the rest of our lives."

Meredith turned her glare to Cristina. She felt Derek laughing beside her and jabbed him with her elbow. "Can we please talk about something else, at least for a little while, so I can pretend I have supportive friends?"

Everyone laughed at the sarcasm in her tone. But true to her request, they did put in a valid effort.

"Izzy," Simon called, earning the blonde's attention. "Did you ever live in New York?"

She shook her head, confused. "Nope. This is my first time here. Why?"

"You just look very familiar," Simon stated.

Phil nodded his agreement. "We both feel like we've seen you somewhere before."

Meredith watched as Izzy's cheeks blushed just a bit as she shook her head and reiterated that she had never met them, and no, she had no idea how they would know her. Meredith gasped quietly as she realized where they knew her from.

Izzy looked over to her, pleading for her not to say anything. Meredith narrowed her eyes, briefly flirting with the idea of using this to get back at her former roommate for all the story telling, but in the end she rolled her eyes and stayed silent.

"I'm sorry, it's just...I really do think I've seen you somewhere before...and I can't quite put my finger on it..." Phil said with a shrug. "I'm sure it will come to me."

"No it won't," Derek said smoothly, coming to both Izzy and his brothers-in-law aid. Izzy would be embarrassed. Simon and Phil would have to answer to their wives. "She probably just looks like someone you know."

"Who?"

"I don't know," Derek said tersely. "I'm just saying...you don't know her."

Izzy shot an appreciative glance to Derek and he offered her a nod.

Simon and Phil looked confused, but were catching on to something. They remained silent.

"So," George piped up, coming to Izzy's aid in an attempt to change the subject. And he, of course, went for something tried and true. "Have you heard the story where Meredith spent an entire day carrying around a penis?"

000

"So, your friend seems a little untrusting," Carol prompted gently as she steered the car along the roads towards the bridal shop. They had opted to take two cars into town, and Carol had requested to take the opportunity to be alone with her soon to be daughter-in-law.

Meredith sighed, not uneasy with the topic, but wanting to make sure and properly justify Cristina's reaction. "Yeah, she's...untrusting," she agreed. "She's the friend whose fiancé broke up with her at the altar."

"But why is she taking that out on Derek?"

Meredith smiled at the protective tone in the older woman's voice. She didn't like anyone looking at her son in an unfavourable light. "It's not that she doesn't like him. It's just... Cristina and I aren't the same, but we're very similar. And we were both interns to fall in love with Attendings. And it was just as valid for Cristina as it is for me and Derek. But...Burke wasn't like Derek. He was pushy and demanding. And she's really independent, but she gave in to him because she loved him. He got her to say she'd marry him and then he scheduled the wedding for the day after our intern exam, which was less than a year after they first met even. And that's fast for a normal person. Cristina was always more hesitant to trust or let anyone in. But she said yes, and she put up with the short engagement. And she put up with the demands for her to pick a dress, pick a cake, pick a song, and all that."

"So, what happened, if he was getting what he wanted?"

"Well, he agreed to a wedding in town hall. All Cristina wanted was me and Derek there as witnesses. And he agreed. But then he invited both of their mothers out and let them book a huge church and invite close to two hundred people and force her into wearing a white dress and three bridesmaids and all that. And Cristina... I mean, we had the test, she was there for me after Susan died...she was distracted, but she did what she could. We spent hours at the dress shop with their mothers. But she just didn't care about the small things; like which type of cake. And in the end, once we got her all the way up the aisle, he said he couldn't go through with it." She sighed. "He basically told her that he didn't love her, that he loved the idea of who she could be... and then he left; packed up his stuff and was gone before we got to their apartment. And we never saw him again."

Carol clicked her tongue. "That poor girl."

"Yeah," Meredith agreed. "I mean she's really strong, but it really hit her hard. She didn't deserve that. And now...like I said, we're very similar, so she still sees her mistakes in me, even if they aren't really there. She's accepted that Derek isn't going to leave me again, but that doesn't mean she hasn't questioned every step we've taken, just to make sure I'm not being pressured. And I guess the quick wedding is bringing back memories. It has almost been a year since her almost-wedding."

"He's not pushing you, right?" Carol asked softly.

Meredith smiled and shook her head. "No. He's been...amazing. I know I'm not the easiest person to be in a relationship with. I came complete with a mass of trust issues, commitment issues, abandonment issues, insecurities... You name it, I had it. But once we figured out how to talk, we seemed to settle in well. He gave me time, as long as he knew we were moving in the right direction."

"Good," Carol answered smoothly. "He sounds just like his father."

Meredith smiled. "It would make him happy to hear that. He..." she hesitated before continuing. "He thinks about Sam a lot."

Carol took a breath. "I do too, dear. And I know he'd be so proud of you two. And somewhere, somehow, he knows about your wedding and he's smiling."

"I don't doubt it," Meredith responded honestly. If she had learned anything from her drowning experience, it was to believe in more than what met the eye.

Carol hesitated. "Can I ask what happened exactly? Cristina said something about picking up the pieces at Joe's?"

Meredith sighed. "That was the night Derek chose Addison," she said quietly, her heart thumping against her chest wall with every beat. It wasn't a memory she liked to look back on. "When she showed up I barely spoke to Derek for a week. And then he told me he had divorce papers and he just needed to read them over and sign..." She shrugged. "And then he hesitated and I pulled away again..." She trailed off, having always wondered if things would have been different if she had given him the support and understanding he had asked for right away. "Anyway, I avoided for a while before I kind of realized that he wanted me to fight..."

"And..." Carol prompted after several moments of silence.

Meredith offered her a sad smile when she glanced away from the road for a moment. "I told him how I felt about him, how much I loved him, which was my first time saying that by the way, but I... I guess it was too little too late. I told him to meet me at Joe's- which is the bar across the street, and the owner, Joe, is coming this weekend- if he decided to sign the papers." She shrugged. "He didn't show up."

Carol clicked her tongue. "Oh, Meredith. I'm sorry. That must have been awful for you."

"It was," she replied honestly. "But seriously, it's water under the thing, or whatever, now. Derek and I are past it. Cristina just...needs a little time to adjust. I know it doesn't look like it, but she really is a good friend. She's always been there for me."

"I believe you. You seem to have a good group of friends. Very diverse, but closely knit."

Meredith laughed. "Yeah...Izzy is like a freak of nature. She didn't have much of a childhood either, but she's so freaking excited about everything. And she and Cristina fight like there's no tomorrow, and yet they survive living in the same house. And George had a hard year last year, and is repeating his internship because of it, but he hasn't let that get him down. And Alex keeps to himself a lot, and I'm pretty sure he had a crappier childhood than I did, but he's still here. And he's surprisingly protective." She paused for a moment. "And it took a while, but they've all re-accepted Derek in my life."

"It's good to have a supportive family unit." Carol shook her head. "I hate seeing first hand what happens when that falls apart."

Meredith furrowed her brow. "I'm sorry, I think you're losing me."

Carol shot her a small smile. "Spencer barely has anything to do with his parents, did you know that?"

"Uh, I think Derek mentioned that they don't spend holidays together and stuff..."

"That poor boy...when Anna met him..." Carol shook her head. "He kind of reminds me of you last Thanksgiving. Drew the short straw and got stuck with a crummy family; didn't know how to interact with us." She shot Meredith another sad smile. "But he didn't have friends like you did."

"I don't know what I would have done without them," Meredith said honestly. "I was raised to be independent; not to rely on anyone. Not to go to anyone for help or support. It meant I was weak. But...I've learned that's not true. It was hard, but having people around and learning to go to them for help..." Meredith inhaled sharply, surprised to find tears stinging the backs of her eyes. "It wasn't something I ever expected to have in my life. But with all the crap that's happened...I can't even imagine how I would have survived without them. Derek, Cristina, Izzy, George and Alex are my family. They're the only people I've ever had who wanted to be there for me."

Carol reached a supportive hand out to land on Meredith's knee. "I know, dear. But keep in mind that you have a whole other family now. We don't want to replace yours, but we're here too. We're here with all the love and support you could ever imagine."

Meredith nodded, wrapping her hand around the one resting on her knee. "Thank-you," she said softy, blinking back tears. "You have no idea how it feels to hear that."

Carol pulled the car into the parking lot and found a space. She turned off the engine and turned to Meredith, her expression concerned, yet determined. She tilted her head and looked so much like her son in that moment that Meredith smiled. "Meredith, what happened to you?"

Meredith blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"I know something happened a few months ago, something big enough for you and Derek to delay the original wedding. And you've changed; not a lot, but there's something different. And you and Derek had changed. You're closer; stronger. But there's something else there. And there's something else there with you. Something small that I can't quite put my finger on..."

Meredith bit down on her lower lip for several seconds before her eyes welled and she shook her head. "I can't," she whispered. "I just can't right now."

Carol nodded. "Okay, dear. You don't have to. Just know I'm here; for anything."

Her throat tightened and she nodded, unable to form any words.

"I'm sorry to upset you." Carol reached across the center consol of the car and pulled Meredith into a tight hug. "I'm sorry, dear," she repeated.

"It's okay," Meredith managed as she clutched onto the older woman.

Carol pulled back enough to meet Meredith's gaze, her familiar blue eyes calming her. "Enough of this depressing talk. This is a happy occasion." She offered a smile. "You're marrying my son and I couldn't be more pleased. So, let's think of that, okay?"

Meredith nodded, offering a brave smile.

"Good. Now, let's go in. I'm excited to seeing you in your dress. And I'm looking forward to hearing your friend complain about her dress..."

Meredith surprised herself with a small laugh. Carol certainly had Cristina pegged.

000

Meredith stared at her reflection. And her reflection stared right back. She moved her right arm, and the corresponding arm in the mirror moved accordingly. It really was her in the mirror in the full length white dress. It had been months since she had tried it on, and she had forgotten the excitement she had felt when she had first tried it on in the dress store with Izzy and Cristina and felt a shock move through her body. She had _known_ this was the dress she was going to get married in.

It was only the eighth dress she tried on. Izzy had amassed a number of preliminary choices, more than half of which were still hanging beside the dressing room. But Meredith had refused to try any more. This was the one. She felt comfortable in it, like it was made for her. It felt...right. And it had only required a few small alterations to fir her like a glove.

Still staring at her reflection, she turned halfway to the right, and then halfway to the left, watching as the material shimmered back and forth. The colour was not quite a pristine white, just a touch of an off-white. The back of the dress touched the ground behind her, but the front lifted an inch or two to prevent her from tripping over the fabric. Because one thing Meredith did not need to happen on her wedding day was to fall on her face while walking down the aisle.

She lifted the skirt of the dress momentarily to smile at the matching slightly off-white shoes, thankful she and Kathleen had the same sized feet. They were her something borrowed.

The dress was her something new. And she had purchased a dark blue garter belt when she had been in the store earlier that week to pick out the flower girl dresses. It was Derek's favourite color; she hoped he'd be adequately surprised Saturday night. The only thing she was missing was a something old, although Mark had jokingly told her Derek should count for that.

After one last turn before the mirror, she stepped out from behind the curtain to face Carol, Natalie and Ruth, the owner of the shop.

"Oh, Meredith, you look gorgeous." Carol exclaimed. "That's a beautiful dress."

"It really is, Mer," Natalie echoed.

"Thanks," Meredith said quietly, suddenly embarrassed at being the sole focus of attention.

There was a grumbling as Cristina staggered out of her change room before catching herself against Meredith. "Freaking carpet," she mumbled, having caught the heel of her shoe in a slit. "And freaking dress," she continued. "I had kind of hoped the thing would have magically shrunk or something so I wouldn't have to wear it..."

Meredith rolled her eyes, but Izzy beat her to the punch as she stepped out of the other change room, not a hint of anything but poise and balance on her purple heels. "Nobody cares about your ranting," she stated. "Mer let us pick out the dresses. You should feel happy about that. I had to be a bridesmaid twice during med school and didn't get a choice either time. And let me tell you, both of those dresses were _ug-ly_." She drew out both syllables.

Meredith laughed .

"Now, I need someone to do me up," Izzy demanded, looking to Cristina, who rolled her eyes, but did as she was requested. Izzy had helped Meredith and Cristina into their dresses before she had moved on to her own.

"Come on up to the platform here, Meredith," Ruth said. "We'll get you done first."

Meredith did as she was told, leaving her bickering friends behind as she stood on the low platform before the set of three, floor length vanity mirrors. Now there were three identical brides staring back at her, all looking so much like her. And yet, it was still hard for her to believe it really was her in the mirror. She really was about to get married. Two days. She was getting married in two days.

In two days she and Derek were getting married.

No matter how many times her mind rolled over the words, and no matter how many combinations she used, it still seemed unreal. The excitement she had felt while planning for the original wedding so many months ago came back in full, causing her heart to pound against her chest. Two days.

Ruth expertly ran her hands along the back of the dress, pulling at it and tucking a finger under the very top, testing the tightness. "Does it feel comfortable?"

Meredith nodded. "It feels fine."

"Not too big anywhere, like it could slide off?"

Again, Meredith shook her head.

"And not too tight? You're very petite, so it's hard for me to tell..."

"Nope. It's not too tight anywhere."

"Good. Then I'd give you a full approval. Good thing, too, I hate making changes on the bride's dress so close to the wedding. You only get one chance, and if something still isn't working, you're out of time."

Meredith turned to smile at the friendly woman. "Well, thanks for letting us come in to do this. It really means a lot at such a last minute, especially when we didn't even get the dresses from you."

"Not a problem," Ruth said with a wave of her hand. "I've had plenty of business from this family over the years. And Natalie here tells me you're from Seattle?"

Meredith nodded. "Yeah, we got everything out there."

"Well, you look very beautiful, dear. I'm certain your future husband will be very happy."

She didn't even know why tears were collecting in her eyes as she was blinking them away. "Thanks." She had never expected to be an emotional bride, but she had found herself blinking back tears so many times over the past few days. It made her wonder if she would be able to get through the ceremony on Saturday.

Ruth nodded and turned. "Okay, let's have bridesmaid number one."

Cristina grumbled, but stepped willingly onto the small platform, eager for her part to be over with.

Izzy stepped up to stand beside Meredith as they watched Ruth go through the same routine with Cristina as she had just done with Meredith, testing the tension in the dark purple material. "I'm so excited for you," Izzy stated, playfully bumping Meredith's shoulder.

"Me too," Meredith responded, shaking her head as she caught sight of herself and Izzy in the background of the mirrors. "I just...I'm having trouble believing it right now. I guess it feels too real."

Izzy turned to her, worry creasing her brow. "Too real in a bad way?"

Meredith quickly reassured her by shaking her head. "No. Just too real in a...real way. We've done so much planning this week, but being here, actually in the dress and everything...it suddenly feels really real."

"I think you've lost me."

"Don't worry, Iz, I think I've lost myself this time."

"But you're happy, right?"

"I think I can honestly say I've never been more happy."

"So, we're not going to have to drag your ass down the aisle?"

Meredith laughed and shook her head.

"Don't worry, Iz," Cristina called from the platform, having heard their conversation. "I'm already working on the get-down-the-aisle-pep-talk speech thing."

Meredith scoffed. "So not necessary."

Cristina shrugged. "Hey, you don't know. You think you'll be fine and you get there and then you just freak out. And _your_ speech was strangely effective; it got me down the aisle, even if that didn't get me anything in the end."

"So, you're just going to repeat Meredith's stop whining speech?" Izzy asked, incredulous. "It wasn't even effective."

"It got her down the aisle," Meredith said, standing up for her choice of words and method of handling her best friend.

"No, I'm pretty sure Derek coming to our aid with a pen right after your speech was what got her to calm down."

Carol and Natalie exchanged glances. "You ladies sure seem to have had an eventful past together." Carol comment lightly, laughter playing in her eyes as she and her daughter struggled to keep up with the conversation.

"Well, at Cristina's...supposed-to-be wedding, she freaked out right before she was supposed to walk down the aisle because she had written her vows on her hands and then scrubbed them off in surgery that morning," Izzy explained. "And she just realized when the music started to play."

Cristina scoffed. "Vows are stupid anyway."

Izzy rolled her eyes and continued. "Anyway, she was freaking out, Meredith yelled at her to get her to calm down; told her to stop whining. And then Derek came down to investigate, he was the best man in case you didn't know that, and he gave us a pen so we could write it back down."

"You told your best friend, who was about to get married and freaking, to stop whining?" Natalie asked with a laugh.

Meredith laughed as well. "Yeah. I didn't know what else to say. And I still say it would have worked, even if Derek hadn't shown up with the freaking pen." She turned to her best friend for support.

"Whatever," Cristina mumbled. "Weddings are stupid...no offence," she said with a shrug as she motioned toward their state of dress. "And vows are stupid."

Carol and Natalie looked uncomfortable at Cristina's strong words, but Izzy laughed and rolled her eyes, turning to the two Shepherd women. "You just have to learn to ignore her."

"Hey," Cristina said quickly. "I'm Cristina; I don't get ignored."

"Well, you do when you're being a bitch," Izzy countered.

"I am not-"

"You are. Yeah, Mer and I know you don't mean any harm, but seriously, Derek's family is here. You're going to be the maid on honour in two days. Pull your head out of your ass."

Cristina rolled her eyes. "I said no offence."

Meredith wandered closer to Carol and Natalie, leaving her friends to argue. "You really do just learn to ignore the both of them some times," she said lightly. "Even Cristina has been very helpful with the planning and everything. She just likes to rant."

"I can hear you," Cristina called as she stepped off the platform and joined them.

"I'm sure you can," Meredith countered.

Her best friend smirked. "So, speaking of vows, have you written _yours_ yet?"

Meredith shrugged. "Not completely. But I'm actually working on mine."

"Hey, I worked on mine."

"Ha," Izzy called as she took her place in front of the mirrors. "You tried to get us to write them for you. Hell, you even tried to make it a game... You told us whoever wrote the best ones would get a prize, but you didn't even have a prize."

"Well, maybe I would have if any of you people had written anything down."

"The point of vows is to speak from the heart, not from the friend who can write the most poetic love speech." Izzy turned to Carol and Natalie. "She even tried flipping through channels on the television every hour looking for romantic comedies to steal from."

Meredith laughed at the memory. "Yeah, she did do that."

"And then we dressed Meredith up in toilet paper."

"But she wouldn't let us set her on fire," Cristina added.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "I wonder why that was..." She said sarcastically.

"Hey, you were my maid of honour. Weren't you supposed to put yourself out there for me?"

"Says _my_ maid of honour who hasn't stopped complaining about wearing a dress."

Cristina huffed, but stayed silent, knowing Meredith had her.

"Why did they dress you up in toilet paper?" Natalie asked.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "It was a game Izzy came up with. We were supposed to take turns but that never happened. So I was the only guinea pig where they made me a toilet paper wedding dress."

"Ahh, we did that at Nancy's wedding shower, but with paper towel," Natalie said with a laugh. "Didn't work out very well."

"No, it didn't," Meredith said.

"I would have pictures to show you," Izzy said quickly. "But, hmm," she made a point of clearing her throat, "someone stole my camera..."

"Are you seriously still on about that?" Meredith asked. "It was a year ago. Let it go."

"And they didn't steal your camera, just the card," Cristina reminded.

"Whatever. They still stole from me."

Meredith rolled her eyes. Cristina had fallen asleep in Meredith's bed after her bachelor-ette party had ended, leaving Meredith and Derek the couch, Meredith still in the make shift dress. They had awoken to Izzy taking pictures of them the following morning and had managed to get their hands on the photo card. A feat Izzy hadn't realized until it had been pointed out to her more than two weeks later.

"So..." Natalie said, stepping in to change the subject. "How far are you getting on your vows?"

"I think I'm okay," Meredith said cautiously. "I mean, I'm not entirely sure of what I'm supposed to say, but I have a good idea, I think."

Carol laughed. "How many drafts have you done?"

"Drafts?" She stumbled over the word. "Oh, well, none... I haven't written anything down yet, but I am working on it in my head."

"You haven't even started writing yet?" Izzy chastised as she clicked her tongue. "Mer..."

"What? I'm not worried yet."

"What are you going to say?" Cristina prompted. "_You'll always be my McDreamy..._"

Meredith rolled her eyes. She was about to retort when a familiar ring tone began playing down the hall from the change rooms. "Oh, that's mine," she said quickly, and turned to head for the purse before she missed the call. She stepped into her change room and pulled her cell out of her purse at the last moment.

"Hello?" She said breathlessly, not having had time to read the call display.

"Hey, I caught you," Derek's voice filtered through the phone line.

"Hey, it's you," she said lightly.

"How's the dress fitting going?"

"Still fits fine. And Cristina's is fine. And Izzy is just getting checked now."

"Good." He paused. "So, you're in it right now?"

She smiled. "I am."

"Hmm..." He mumbled. "I'm sure you look beautiful."

"I hope so."

"I know so," he countered. "And don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to seeing you in it, but I'm also looking forward to helping you _out_ of it..."

Meredith shook her head at his antics. "Did you seriously call me just to say that?"

He laughed. "What's wrong with saying that? Isn't the point of the clean, white wedding dress that I get to take it off of you?"

Meredith blinked, feeling a familiar flush creep up on her. "Derek...shut up. You can't make wearing the dress dirty if I have to wear all day on Saturday."

He laughed again. "Okay, I'll stop, but just because I love you as much as I do..."

She rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Derek, what's with the call? You know your mother and sisters don't like it and can steal my phone at any time..."

He chuckled. "Right. I'd better get to the point. I need to run something by you."

"Okay..."

"I think I've made a decision about Richard."

"That's good, Derek," Meredith stated, looking up as footsteps fell outside her dressing room. Natalie stood in the doorway, hand on her hip.

"That better be another Derek you're talking to..."

Meredith laughed. "I'll just be a minute," she told her soon to be sister-in-law. "It's important, wedding related. I promise."

Natalie narrowed her eyes for a moment before nodding. "Okay. But just a minute."

"Thanks," Meredith said dryly before turning her attention back to Derek. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay. She's my sister; I should have known better..."

"True," she agreed with a giggle. "So, what did you decide?"

Derek sighed. "Richard's a bastard. He was way out of line. He gets far too involved personally. He lets his emotions cloud his judgement. He overreacts. And he seems to think he has a right to a say in your life."

"But..." Meredith continued, hearing it in his tone.

"But," Derek continued, "he's a good man. And he means well, I know he does. And he was acting in your best interest and I can't argue with that. And he was an important mentor to me when I was an intern. And...and most of all, he's the reason I came to Seattle and met you. And I can't turn my back on that fact."

"I'm proud of you, Derek."

"Thanks."

"Have you called him yet?"

"No, I wanted to check with you first."

She smiled. "You know it's not a problem with me, now quit trying to put it off and call him."

He grumbled on the other end of the line. "You know me too well."

She laughed. "That's the point of the whole relationship thing, right?"

She could almost hear him smiling. "Right." He sighed. "Okay, I'll let you go before your phone gets stolen again. And I'll see you in a bit?"

"Yup. I love you, Derek."

"I love you too, so much."

"I love you more," she said quickly before hanging up her phone.

Meredith danced out of the dressing room in triumph at having gotten in the last word this time. He had gotten it too many times lately. Her cell rang in her hand and she flipped it open again.

"Hello?"

"I love you more," Derek's voice filtered through the phone before he hung up again.

"Damn it!" She chastised herself, knowing there was no point in calling him back. He wouldn't answer now.

Natalie gave her an odd look. "What's up?"

She grumbled. "Your brother is a pain in the ass."

000

Derek smirked as he ended the very short second call with Meredith. Two could play at that game, and right now, he was wining. She was bound and determined to beat him, but he wasn't about to make it easy for her. His smirk grew when she didn't attempt to call him back.

He had won this round.

After a moment of hesitation, he scrolled through his phone list for Richard's office number and hit send.

"Chief Webber's office, how can I help you?"

"Hi Patricia, it's Derek. Is Richard free?"

"I believe so, let me just check..." He was put on hold for a moment before Richard's secretary came back onto the line. "He's free Dr. Shepherd, I'll put you through."

"Thanks, Patricia."

"Oh, and Dr. Shepherd?"

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to offer a pre-emptive congratulation. Richard told me you and Dr. Grey were finally going to get married this weekend."

Derek laughed. "Finally, huh?"

"That's how the nurses see it."

"Is it hospital wide gossip already?"

"No, actually, I'm the only one who knows. I had to help Richard book the time off for your friends. He's been very good about keeping things quiet for once. You'd be proud of him."

"That's good to hear."

"Anyway, congratulations Dr. Shepherd. And pass that on to Dr. Grey as well."

"Thanks."

"I'll put you through now."

There was a pause and then the phone rang twice before Richard picked it up.

"Derek." He greeted.

"Richard."

"Did everyone arrive okay yesterday?"

"Yeah, thanks, the first batch arrived last night. And we're expecting Bailey, Lexie and Joe tomorrow evening."

"That's good to hear."

"Yeah..." Derek trailed off.

"Was there something else you needed?"

Derek took a breath. "Yeah, actually, I... Look, Richard, you hurt me. I love that woman more than anything else in the world. And I would never lay a finger on her like that. Not in a million years. She means the world to me. And that you could think I could do something like that to her..." He trailed off and shook his head. "I had a lot of respect for you. You made an impression on me when I was an intern. And I was pissed that you could think I would ever hurt her."

"Derek, I am so very sorry for what I did."

"I know," he said honestly, for the first time accepting Richard's apology. "And I want to forgive you for that."

"You...you want to forgive me?"

"I know you care about her. I know you have a history with her mother. And yes, you do need to learn to back off a bit and treat her as any other resident, but I know you mean well. And she knows you mean well. And...if it wasn't for you calling when you did I would never have come to Seattle and I would never have met her."

"What are you saying, Derek?"

"I'm saying that I...we," he corrected quickly. "We want to invite you to the wedding. I know it's very last minute, and I'm sorry it took me this long to make a decision, but we would both like for you to be here on Saturday.

"Derek, I...thank-you. It would mean more than I can describe for me to be there."

"Well, it's important to us that you're there, regardless of recent circumstances."

"I am sorry for what happened," he repeated.

"I know, and I'm working on letting that go."

Richard sighed on the other end of the phone. "Do you need me to do anything? Or bring anything?"

"Nope. I think we'll be fine handling everything. Just bring yourself, and Adele of course. I'll e-mail you with the address and time and everything."

"Thank-you, Derek."

"You're welcome." Derek hung up his phone and sighed, smiling at the weight that lifted off his shoulders. He had made the right decision.

_**AN: I suck, I know, and I'm sorry. I never meant for an update to take this long, but this chapter and the next combined have been seriously kicking my ass. Things have been shifted and rewritten and cut and added...lol. The next chapter is already over 7000 words and I haven't gotten to the stuff I had planned for it yet... The good news is that the next chapter should be along shortly. I also posted another oneshot this week, called Happenings, for any one who wants to check it out. Thanks for reading!**_


	8. FAMILY

**FAMILY**

'_If today was perfect there would be no need for tomorrow.'_

_-- Anon._

**-- Friday --**

_With the excitement from telling her two best friends of her engagement still bubbling inside her, Meredith hurried to meet her interns at their locker room for rounds. On the outside she looked a little too happy to be at the hospital so early on a Monday morning, but on the inside she was still dancing with joy, the euphoric effects of the past weekend still being felt in full. _

_She spotted George leaning against the nurse's station when she rounded the last corner; he had been on call the night before. She was still a few minutes early, so she didn't need to be chasing her other three interns down in their locker room just yet._

_"Hey," she greeted, collapsing against the desk beside him. "How's my favourite intern."_

_George raised an eyebrow at her exuberant mood. "Apparently not as good as my favourite resident..."_

_"Don't let Izzy hear you calling me that."_

_"You're not high again, are you?" He asked jokingly, referring to Meredith's first day back to work after she and Derek had first discovered how to talk. Hours of conversation and discussion revolving around everything that had happened between them had ended in a new sense of calm with plans for the future. And she had been so smiley and upbeat at work that George had repeatedly accused her of being high. The Meredith Grey he had known at the time didn't smile very much._

_She swiped a hand at him. "I wasn't high!"_

_He shook his head. "Your word against mine."_

_She rolled her eyes, lifting her hand to tuck a chunk of loose hair behind her ear. _

_George's eyes caught on her movement, and tracked her hand as she returned it to her side. When she stilled, he reached out his own hand and grasped at her finger, and then lifted his eyes back to hers, expectant._

_Meredith could barely hold back her beaming smile. "Apparently I'm getting married..."_

_"Congratulations, Meredith," he told her quietly, his expression belaying nothing but happiness for her. "You'll be the first one of us to make it work, I know it."_

_She nodded. "I hope so."_

_He pulled her into a hug. "I'm happy for you, Mer."_

_She closed her eyes around him, thankful for the support; regardless of their past, he had always been there for her. "Thank-you, George."_

_"Do we all get hugs this morning?"_

_Meredith pulled away from George and turned to face her other three interns, who had all just joined them in the hall. "Shut up," she told Dr. Bradshaw. "Unless you want to work in the clinic today?"_

_Her intern silenced himself and she smirked inwardly. "Okay, we need to get going. We're meeting Dr. Bailey for rounds this morning-"_

_Before she could finish her sentence, Mark came wandering around the corner and caught sight of her. He didn't hesitate to interrupt her orders, break into the small circle her interns were standing in, and pull her into a tight hug, going so far as to lift her off her feet._

_"Congrats, Grey, Derek told me the good news."_

_"Mark...you can't just..." She sputtered, as he caught her completely off guard. "Put me down!"_

_He laughed but did as she requested. "Now," he stated as he reached for her left hand, "let's see how Shep did without me this time."_

_She tried to wrench her hand free, but he held on tight. "Dr. Sloan," she said tersely. All too aware of her interns eyes on her, "this is hardly professional."_

_He smirked at her; as if to say 'when has that ever stopped me?' _

"_Sorry about that, Dr. Grey, I'll try and contain my excitement," he said dryly, obviously not the least bit sorry. "Congratulations," he repeated, "I'm looking forward to being the best man." He kissed her on the cheek and released her. Stepping out of the circle, and without turning back to them, he called over his shoulder, "Myers, you're with me today."_

_Dr. Myers turned to Meredith quickly, looking for permission. She rolled her eyes, knowing she wasn't going to get any say in the matter. "Just go."_

_Myers laughed, knowing she didn't have any more control over it than he did. "Thank-you, Dr. Grey. And...congratulations," he called as he hurried after the plastic surgeon._

_Meredith turned back to her remaining three interns. Bradshaw and Howard both offered her their congratulations and she nodded. "Thanks, guys, now we have to hurry if we don't want to piss of Dr. Bailey."_

_When they met Bailey at the first of the patient's rooms, she was glancing down at her watch. They only had seconds to spare. "Where's your fourth?" She questioned. _

_Meredith sighed. "Mar- Dr. Sloan stole him already..."_

_Bailey shook her head, knowing neither of them had any real control over Mark's actions. And even though it was very unbalanced, Richard was letting it go for the time being. Mark teaching anyone was a feat in itself, so the surgical department was told to allow Mark any intern at any time. _

_"Well, let's get started then..." _

_Their first patient was scheduled for bypass surgery that morning with Dr. Hahn. The cardiothoracic surgeon's detail oriented eyes fell on Meredith's hand for a moment longer than anything else in the room, but she said nothing. Meredith smiled proudly as Dr. Howard answered every question correctly and won herself a surgery. _

_The second patient was awaiting a free OR to pin together his shattered tibia; the consequences of talking on his cell phone while driving to work. Callie had already heard the news and offered Meredith a quiet congratulations, her eyes avoiding those of her ex-husband while George was in the room. She took Dr. Bradshaw as her intern for the day, leaving Meredith with just George. _

_As they entered the room of the third patient, Meredith caught sight of Derek and the Chief already there. Derek smiled warmly at her as she walked in and Meredith found she couldn't peel her eyes away, mesmerized by his dark blue irises. She was going to spend the rest of her life losing herself in his eyes._

_"Who's presenting?" Richard asked, glancing between her and George. _

_George spoke up. "Philip Granger, 32, was in a car accident early this morning. CT shows a small head bleed in the temporal lobe, and moderate spleenic insult. Injuries are severe and in need of surgical intervention, but the patient is stable and we were able to wait for a few hours. He is being monitored closely."_

_"Good," Richard spoke. "We have him scheduled for nine. Dr. O'Malley, if you will prep the patient you can scrub in and assist me while I attempt to repair his spleen."_

_"Absolutely, Dr. Webber."_

_"And Meredith, are you on the board yet today?" He asked, pulling Meredith away from the trance where all she could see were the blue eyes staring back at her. _

_"I...uh..." She stuttered as she forced her brain to back up and discern the meaning of his words. "No, Chief, I'm not on the board yet."_

_"Great, you can scrub in with us as well then," he offered brightly, motioning that she would be helping Derek evacuate the head bleed._

_"Are you certain that's a good idea, Chief?" Bailey asked, having, of course, not missed a single interaction between Meredith and Derek._

_Richard raised an eyebrow. "Is there any reason it wouldn't be, Dr. Bailey?"_

_"Well, the new addition to Grey's finger seems to have her and Dr. Shepherd a tad distracted this morning..."_

_Meredith cringed at her Chief Resident's words, knowing she needed to get it together or she would end up in the clinic for the week._

_Richard's eyes traveled down to her hand and paused before his face erupted in a large smile. "Congratulations you two," he said happily._

_"Thank-you, Chief," Meredith responded, echoed by Derek._

_Richard turned back to Bailey. "I don't expect it to be a problem, Dr. Bailey. I'll keep and eye on them."_

_Bailey obviously didn't approve, but nodded. "Your call, Chief." She turned and left the room, mumbling to herself. "Fools."_

000

It was early.

Meredith had awoken several minutes before to nothing but darkness in the room. It was too early still for any light to be coming through the windows. Derek was beside her, his normally sleep-lulling breaths not nearly as effective as usual.

She lay there; quiet, still, revelling in the intimacy of waking up in his arms at such an early hour. The air around them was cool, but with his body pressed up against hers, Meredith was nothing but warm. She ran her fingers over his hair dusted forearms, and smiled when he tightened his grip around her middle.

He loved her. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that this man - with his chest pressed up against her back, his arms around her middle, his legs intertwined with hers, his lips barley a hair's breadth from the back of her neck, and her heart firmly in his possession - loved her. And she loved him. And the following day they would solidify that love forever. It would be official.

Her heart swelled in her chest and she closed her eyes, trying to imagine a better moment than this. Her fingers danced along his forearms to his fingers, and she found the one that wouldn't be bare for much longer. Soon there would be a ring there. Soon there would be a ring that she would put there. One more day. Just one more day before the first day of the rest of her life.

She felt her heart swell even further and she almost flinched at the momentarily overwhelming sensation. She, Meredith Grey, was getting married. She wouldn't be Meredith Grey for much longer. _Shepherd._ Shepherd would be her name soon; Meredith Shepherd. No more Grey. Because when push came to shove, and she was standing in the town hall and she had to make a choice _now,_ and Derek was being so dreamy and perfect and supportive, she had closed her eyes.

_'You need to close you eyes and forget all of the issues and think about what you want, think about who you want to be.'_

And when she ignored all of the external conflicts and problems and opinions, she only came up with one answer. She wanted to be Meredith Shepherd. And the look in his eyes when he read the name was enough to confirm it was the right choice.

Meredith sighed and shifted, trying to prompt her body to fall back to sleep. But she was inexplicably wide awake. She doubted there would be more sleep for her.

After carefully extracting herself from Derek's strong arms, she padded barefoot across the room to snatch her favourite sweatshirt of his out of her suitcase. She pulled the overly-large shirt over her head and smiled as Derek's familiar scent wafted around her, making her almost feel like she was still in his arms in the bed. Lifting one sleeve to her nose, she inhaled deeply and smiled when she turned back to her slumbering fiancé. She sucked in a breath as she realized he would only be her fiancé for one more day.

Just one more day.

Her hand dropped from her nose to her heart as she watched his chest continue to heave in and out with every breath. His hair was mussed against the pillow and his mouth was hanging half open as he used it to breath, and yet...she didn't think she had ever loved him more than in that moment. And she didn't think she had ever felt as content and relaxed and completely certain of her future before that moment. She had never felt so safe; never felt such a strong sense of belonging.

Lost in his dream world, he shifted towards her side of the bed, obviously feeling the warmth still lingering in her place beside him. He rolled mostly onto his stomach, his arms darting out to grip around her pillow as he usurped it as his.

With one last smile, Meredith turned from the breath taking scene and quietly let herself out of the room. She padded softly down the stairs and through the living room to the kitchen, smiling that she now knew the house well enough to navigate in the dark. Pushing through the door to the kitchen, she turned for the cupboard for a glass, but her breath caught as she closed her fingers around the cool glass, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end.

She spun around to discover a lone figure sitting at the kitchen table. "Carol," she sputtered, her free hand clutched to her chest. "You..." _scared the crap out of me._ "I didn't see you. Sorry." She shuddered for a regular breath, her heart still pounding against her chest wall, adrenaline pumping through her body. Her free hand wrapped protectively around her torso as she laughed at her own reaction.

"Nothing to apologize for, dear," Carol offered, with a gentle smile, her hands wrapped around the steaming mug in her hands. "What's gotten you up so early?"

"I don't know," Meredith said honesty. "I just woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. I thought I'd come and have a glass of water."

"There's tea in the pot on the stove."

Meredith nodded her appreciation, knowing this was an invitation to join Carol at the table. She returned her glass and reached instead for a mug instead.

"What's gotten _you_ up so early?" Meredith questioned as she sunk into one of the padded wooden chairs around the kitchen table.

Carol smiled warmly. "I'm not sure either, dear. I just woke up and felt like a glass of warm tea."

"Oh, well...cheers to that," Meredith said with a laughing smile as she lifted her mug to carefully clink against Carol's.

"Cheers to everything going well today so that tomorrow will go off without a hitch," Carol added.

Meredith nodded her appreciation. So far the weather report was calling for sunny skies and warm temperatures. The rain from the previous day will have dried up. And the catering team was coming that afternoon to set up their equipment, and the tents and tables. Everything was falling into place, and Meredith found she had more confidence that she had expected to have. Good things didn't happen to her very often, but she had faith that tomorrow was going to work out.

"I still can't believe we managed to get everything done in time," she admonished, shaking her head.

"Well, obviously it was meant to be."

Meredith bit back a smile as she took a cautious sip of her tea. She wasn't usually a tea drinker, but right now there was nothing else she would rather be doing than having a moment with Derek's mother. The fact that the older woman had accepted her so well and so quickly still surprised her at times.

"Are you getting nervous yet?"

Meredith pursed her lips at the question. "Maybe a little," she admitted. "But more of a nervous-excited than a nervous-worried."

"That's good to hear." Carol smiled warmly at her. "So, your friend Cristina came to me yesterday afternoon while you were changing out of your dress..."

Meredith blinked. "Crap. I'm sorry. What did she say?"

Carol raised an eyebrow. "She made me promise not to, and I quote 'take your eyebrows.' Do you care to explain that?"

Meredith laughed out loud. "I can't believe she..." She trailed off and shook her head. Carol looked amused with the situation. "Uh, when she was supposed to get married, Mama Burke, Burke's mother, obviously, uh...let's just say she was very demanding about more than the church and the dress and everything. She made Cristina wear this really hideous choker and then she...she took her eyebrows."

"Took them?"

"Waxed them right off."

"Completely?"

"Completely," Meredith confirmed with a laugh. "Cristina was horrified. We had to get Izzy to draw them back on."

Carol laughed. "Well, dear, you have nothing to worry about. I'll let you keep your eyebrows."

Meredith joined the laughter. "Thanks," she said dryly.

"Are you having any regrets about getting married so quickly?"

"No. I really don't think so. I mean, everyone is coming that we want to be there."

"But will you be happy with such a small wedding?"

Meredith tilted her head. Derek had told her that all four of his sisters had had large weddings. "I will," she said honestly. "I was never the girl who dreamt about the huge, fancy wedding..." Meredith scoffed. "And okay, I was never the girl who dreamt about the perfect guy and the marriage and the family and everything either...but I guess I can only change so much."

"I'm glad you changed your mind on that one, Meredith."

"Me too," she said with a smile.

A comfortable silence fell over the two women. Meredith cupped her hands around her mug and sighed. It was still very early, only a faint sheen of light beginning to meander through the windows. The house was silent, the only noise catching her ears being the subtle hum of the refrigerator.

It was peaceful. Quiet. Comfortable. _Safe_.

Meredith sighed. "It was the middle of March," she started quietly.

Carol glanced up from her tea, meeting Meredith's eyes. A look of understanding passed over her face; she knew what Meredith was bringing up. "Meredith, dear, we don't have to..."

"It's okay. I'm...okay talking about it...now." She paused, filling her lungs with a deep breath of oxygen, willing her nerves to calm. She squeezed her eyes shut and shuddered. It had been three months, but recalling the memory still brought her to tears.

And slender hand found purchase on her right forearm, offering her a supportive squeeze. Meredith almost laughed at the realization that Carol's hand had landed right over the section of her radius that had been fractured; almost as if the older woman held some sort of intuition about what she was about to be told.

Meredith found the strength to open her eyes. "I was getting to know Lexie. She's my... half-sister. I have two half-sisters; Molly and Lexie. I didn't even know they existed until last year. And I met Lexie when she started her internship at Grace last summer. She's six years younger than me, but she was apparently a super student growing up; skipped a bunch of grades and everything. Anyway...I was starting to get to know her. We went to a movie one night and then back to her apartment for a drink and cake, but..." She trailed off.

Carol shifted her chair closed and laid a comforting hand on her back.

Meredith shuddered. "My...our...her... Thatcher showed up. He's been drinking a lot since Susan died... I hadn't seen him since he chased me and Derek out of her funeral. But he...he...he showed up at her apartment. And he..." Meredith swallowed hard, not bothering to attempt to prevent the tears from falling from her eyes, knowing it wouldn't help in the long run. "He wasn't exactly happy to see me. He didn't want Lexie to have anything to do with me."

"That shouldn't be his choice anyway, Meredith," Carol offered.

Meredith nodded, unable to face her. She kept her eyes open, but staring downward at a spot on the table. "He said horrible things; told me I was a mistake...that I didn't deserve to be happy. He definitely wasn't happy that I was engaged. He was so angry...he told me I was going to ruin Derek's life like my mother ruined his..."

Carol clicked her tongue. "Meredith, that is the most absurd thing I've ever heard. You're making Derek's life a thousand times better. I've never seen him as happy as he is now."

"Yeah, well, Thatcher seemed to think otherwise. He...he wouldn't let me leave. And then he...he..."

Carol's quiet gasp was enough for Meredith to know she had realized what had happened. "Oh, Meredith...I'm so sorry."

Meredith sniffed and suddenly Carol's warm arms were around her, pulling her close. "He was so angry..." She whispered. "So angry. I've never seen anyone so angry before. I've never been so scared before..."

"What did he do to you?" Carol asked gently, still holding Meredith in a protective embrace.

"He broke my arm," Meredith whispered. "Just twisted until my radius snapped. And broke four ribs; three by kicking, one by throwing me off my feet..." She continued to stare down at the table.

"I'm so sorry, dear," Carol repeated. "No one deserves that; least of all you."

Meredith nodded, the familiar sensation of numbness filtering into her mind.

"How did you get away?"

"I ran. I managed to get up and out the door... and then I just ran..." The words were becoming easier to say, more automatic. Her emotions were shutting down, stopping her from feeling the pain. "I stopped when I couldn't breathe anymore. And I called Derek. He came and got me and took me to the hospital." She scoffed; the events of that day were just rolling off her tongue now. "We went to the clinic instead of the ER for privacy. But the chief thought Derek had done it to me, and was trying to hide it."

"That's why Derek's mad at Richard."

Meredith nodded. The table was still fascinating; still held her eye line. "He had Derek dragged away by security. And Mark. And then took me into the main hospital anyway, and now everyone knows..." She shrugged. "So yeah...that's the story. I couldn't deal afterwards. I mean, I went back to work a week after, but I...I couldn't deal with people or going out or anything. And after a few weeks it didn't get any better, so I...we...we decided not to send out the invitations. I just didn't think I'd be up to a wedding in just a few months."

Carol pulled back, craning her head to meet Meredith's eyes, but Meredith made no move to meet hers. "Meredith," she prompted gently.

Meredith shut her eyes tightly, her face still pointing down at the table, willing herself to be stronger. It was so easy to fall into the numbness, but it was no way to live. She took a shuddery breath and turned to face Carol. She slowly opened her eyes, her vision increasingly blurred as she did so. The tears welled strongly and fell over her lower lids as a full wave of pain washed over her. She could still remember the despair and hopelessness she had lived with for a month.

Her soon to be mother-in-law offered her a small smile. "It's takes a strong person to come back from something like that."

"I think it takes having a strong person," Meredith countered very quietly. "Derek was there for everything... He was so perfect and supportive. He always knew what to say, how to make it better. He never made me feel guilty."

Carol's eyes welled. "He's a good man." She reached to brush some of the tears off Meredith's face. "I think it takes both to come back; being strong and having someone who's strong beside you. Because you're nothing if you're not strong Meredith. The other day, when they threw you into the water...I didn't even realize until your friends showed up and said something. But you handled it so well. You're a strong woman, Meredith. And I'm thankful every day that my son found you."

Meredith nodded. "Me too."

"Good. And dear, don't worry about all the stories that are being passed back and forth between your friends and my daughters, even if they're embarrassing. We're just treating you like any other of us. We don't care who you were or what you've done. The only thing that matters to us is who you are now and how happy you're making Derek."

"Thank-you," Meredith whispered, surprised at the relief she felt at Carol's statement. There were so many days where all she wanted was to forget her past and all the stupid decisions and mistakes she had made.

"I've never seen my son so happy," Carol stated. "And I know I keep saying that, but it's the simple truth. I've known him his whole life. He was a happy kid, took a hard hit when Sam passed away, but came back alright. He was always kind, always tried to do the right thing. And he and Addison were content for a number of years; they were compatible, she was pleasant and got along well with everyone, but there was always something missing. And I don't think even Derek realized it. It was something in his eyes. He didn't ever look at her the way he looks at you."

Meredith sniffed despite herself as a small smile graced her lips.

"At first I thought he had changed, but now...I don't think he changed when he met you, Meredith. I think he stopped trying to be something else. There's no hiding between you two. You let him be _him_. And you _love_ him for who he is. I don't think he could breathe properly in the Park Avenue houses and the charity dinners and the private practice."

Meredith found herself nodding. "He's not that person," she agreed. "I can't imagine wanting him to be any different." She laughed. "Well, there are a few small things I wouldn't mind changing, like his propensity to go fishing at unreasonably early hours of the morning and then try to force me to eat trout for breakfast..."

Carol laughed. "Fishing, huh?"

She nodded. "And don't get me wrong, I like the fishing. And I don't have any problem going with him...when the sun is up. But there are mornings where we're out at the trailer, and the sun's barely starting to come up, and I'll wake up alone, just knowing he's going to try to convince me trout is a suitable breakfast when he comes back."

Carol shook her head. "He and Sam used to go down to fish in the pond early in the morning on the weekends," she said wistfully.

"Yeah, he told me."

"I'm sorry you weren't born into the family you deserve. But I'm so grateful you haven't let that stop you from being a part of ours. Like I said yesterday, we're here for anything you need. We love you, and we're here to be your family now. You'll never be alone again, Meredith."

A fresh batch of tears sprung to her eyes. "Thank-you," she whispered.

"It's what we're here for, dear." And with that, Carol pulled her into another hug.

Meredith reciprocated easily, her arms going around the older woman. The woman who, tomorrow, would become _mom_. She didn't hear the door open behind her or the figure enter the kitchen until he spoke.

"_Now_ what did you do to her?" Derek's voice rang though the kitchen, light but concerned. When he had brought her on Thanksgiving he had left her alone in the kitchen with Carol, Nancy and Kathleen. And when he had come to check on her, she had been in tears, wrapped in his mother's arms. His tone hadn't been so light that time.

Meredith let out a laughing breath as she pulled away from Carol to meet Derek's worried eyes. "What are you doing down here?"

His gaze flickered to his mother and then back to her, worry etching into his forehead. "I woke up and you weren't there."

She couldn't help the smile that appeared on her lips at his simple words. He had woken up alone so he had come looking. "Were you worried I was doing the run-away bride thing?" she asked lightly; communicating to him that it was okay, she was okay, and he didn't need to worry.

The corner of his lips twitched upwards. "Maybe just a little," he said jokingly, easily going along with her.

She smiled and motioned for him to join them. He sat on her other side, his arm immediately finding her waist. "I was on my way out the door, but your mother talked me out of running."

He smirked. "Pajama pants, _my sweatshirt _and bare feet..." He shook his head. "Not the most thought through escape outfit."

Carol laughed and shook her head at their interaction.

"I was trying to be inconspicuous..."

He snorted. "Okay, now it makes sense."

She laughed at the heavy sarcasm in his voice and glanced towards Carol.

Carol's eyes took on a tender quality as she offered Meredith a smile. "That's the look I was telling you about," she said quietly.

Meredith shifted her gaze back to Derek, only to meet his familiar blue eyes shining with the same quality they always had. The quality that always made her feel special just because he was looking at her. The quality she wouldn't have known was new for him, because she couldn't remember ever having seen it missing from his eyes; not even when he had first sat down next to her Joe's so long ago. His forehead creased and his eyes narrowed. He glanced suspiciously between them.

"What look?"

"Nothing, sweetie," Carol told him. "Just girl talk."

He shifted his gaze back to her, still questioning, but his brow furrowed when she didn't offer him an explanation. "Come on," he prompted. "You two aren't supposed to get along so well."

"You better get used to it, Der," Carol spoke lightly, but the undertones of her words sent a chill up Meredith's spine. She really was part of the family. "Well, I'm going to go back to bed and try and get another hour or two of sleep before the kids wake me up."

"Carol," Meredith found herself calling as the older woman paused in the doorway and turned back around. "Thanks for...everything."

"You're very welcome, dear. I'm glad you trust me enough to share."

Meredith sighed and turned back to Derek when the door swung shut behind Carol. His hand reached to brush a lock of hair out of her face.

"You've been crying," he stated gently.

She nodded. "Yeah, a little...okay, a lot, but both good and bad tears."

His fingers swept through her hair and his thumb brushed back and forth along her temple. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

She offered him a smile. "I just came down to get a glass of water," she started, bypassing his opening question, knowing exactly what he wanted to know. "And your mom was already here, so I sat and we talked."

"About...?"

"I told her about Thatcher."

His eyebrows came up in surprise. "How much?"

"The whole thing."

His other arm closed around her, completing the hug. "Are you okay?"

She breathed in his arms, leaning against his strong chest, taking comfort in his presence. "Yeah. Yeah...I really think I am. I have a new family now."

His lips pressed against her temple. "You do," he agreed. "One who will never leave you and never hurt you."

Meredith wrapped her arms around his upper torso and smiled into his shoulder. He always knew just what to say. "Do you want to go back to bed?" She asked quietly.

He hesitated. "Actually, since we're up, I was wondering if you'd come somewhere with me. There's something I've been meaning to do for a long time..."

_000_

_Meredith was in a bad mood. She was tired of being treated with the kid gloves at work. Once again something horrible had happened in her life, and once again she was a hot topic of hospital gossip. There wasn't an employee of Seattle Grace that didn't know about the incident that had led to her being banned from performing surgery for a minimum of six weeks due to the fibreglass cast on her right arm. It was like the first few months of her internship again, with the whispers and the stares, only now the whispers changed. 'Did you hear she's Ellis Grey's daughter' and 'she's sleeping with her attending' had turned into gossip related to the aetiology of the cast on her right arm and the fact that she walked stiffly to avoid twisting her rib cage too far. _

Did you hear her father beat her?

I heard he tried to kill her.

I heard that she killed his wife.

_And if that wasn't bad enough, she had to contend with the well wishers; the group of people she didn't really know all that well, who were constantly in her face, asking her is she needed anything, was she okay, and would she like to talk. Meredith was never sure who was genuine, and who was simply fishing for more gossip. She had certainly fuelled enough of it in her less than two years working there._

_After six days at home, allowing Derek to hover and worry and call from the hospital to check on her when he was forced to go in, Meredith had demanded she be allowed back to work. Even if she couldn't actually perform any surgeries, she could still supervise her interns; she could observe and learn; she could do consults... The list she had used to convince her Chief Resident had been much longer. _

_She hadn't even approached the Chief of Surgery. Neither she nor Derek was speaking to him. Neither was Mark. Even Bailey was keeping away from him; angry he would believe her capable of covering for something like that. _

_So, Meredith had returned to work seven days after she had felt her radius crack in her father's hand, after three of her ribs had given under the assault of his feet, after she had felt fear rivalling that of when she had fallen into Elliot Bay. She had known it would be an adjustment. There would be staring. There would be whispers following her in the halls. There would be people thinking her not ready. But she believed that the earlier she got back to work, the easier it would be. She believed the tension would fade._

_The first week had been as expected. Derek, Mark, and her friends had made themselves readily available, surrounding her and trying to keep her protected and isolated from the gossip. Their efforts had, of course, been completely futile, but she was grateful they had tried. She had spent her days working with her interns, helping in the clinic and observing from the gallery. It had almost been nice to have some quiet, less rushed time at the hospital. _

_It hadn't been nice, however, when it had carried into her second week back; it was frustrating not being thought capable of handling more responsibility. She began to be comfortable with her job again. She was fine being surrounded by her interns, and any others she had had dumped on her that day. She was fine working with patients. She kept herself back, self-protective, but she barely flinched anymore. So long as she was near someone familiar, she was okay. The fear, the apprehension, the anxiety...it came and went. Some days were better than others. An agreeable patient boosted her confidence and allowed her to feel secure. An aggressive patient caused her to spend an hour crying in the safety of Derek's office, wondering if she would ever be able to do her job again. _

_She was suddenly fearful of new people, or even people she knew, but not well enough. If she couldn't trust the man who had given her half her DNA and raised her for five years, how could she trust someone with no ties to her? Derek was fine; she trusted him implicitly, even on her worst days, even if she didn't understand where her faith came from. Her friends - Cristina, Izzy, George and Alex - they were fine. They had all be through too much together to be worrying about something like that. Bailey was fine; she'd been there for Meredith. Mark was fine. She had known him for some time now, and he was close to Derek again. And he had been there for her. _

_Lexie spent a lot of time avoiding Meredith, and if she believed the rumours, spent a lot of time crying in supply closets. On days where Meredith was forced to deal with her, things were okay. There was no real fear, more a general state of quiet apprehension. _

_Anyone else was off limits. Meredith didn't voluntarily approach anyone. She made sure not to ever find herself alone with anyone. She fell back into her old ways; avoid, avoid, avoid. She stopped reaching out. She stopped taking the extra steps with patients, not that she got to work with many. She stopped going out with her friends, or having dinner with Derek, or talking to his family on the phone, or going with him to see the house they were building. It had all been too much. _

_On her second day back, the Chief cornered her, and she had physically run from him after only two minutes of awkward conversation. He only wanted to make sure she was okay; she knew that. But he had been there that night, and he had made Derek go away. He had the power to make Derek go away; and that was too much for Meredith. So she had run to Derek's office and waited for him to find her. _

_Her confidence at the hospital seemed to be slowly coming back. Two steps forward, one step back. The good experiences were slowly beginning to overshadow the bad. And the bad were slowly becoming easier to handle. _

_Derek had been there for every step she had taken, both forward and back, and even though it had been scary at first to rely so heavily on him, it had felt good to be able to do. And she knew now that she really could trust him forever. The only place she ever felt completely safe these days was far away from the city, in the refuge of the trailer, wrapped in his arms. And she begged for them to go there at every opportunity, desperate to feel safe in the world she couldn't control. _

_It was nearing the end of her third week back. She had worked only eight hours today. Derek had gone in with her that morning, but had left at lunch, stating he had some errands to run. Meredith didn't like going home alone; but she couldn't blame him. For almost four weeks he had done all of the grocery shopping, all of the household stuff, all of the driving when they were together. He deserved a break, but today she had wished he was there. She had had a bad day. More aggressive patients than agreeable ones. More awkward interactions with other hospital staff than she would have liked. More time spent wishing none of this had ever happened than spent thinking about anything else combined. She hated that she was afraid to walk to her car alone; that she had waited until a group of interns had left to discreetly walk along behind them, just for the company. She hated that she was so afraid to eat alone, that today she had skipped lunch because all of her friends were busy and Derek wasn't there. She hated that all she wanted to do every day was go home and crawl into bed and avoid, avoid, avoid the real world. _

_She hated what her life had become. And she didn't know how to fix it. The bad wasn't fading into the background like she had expected. She wasn't getting her confidence back in any situation outside her apartment, the trailer and the hospital. She wasn't getting any better._

_She sighed and turned her key in the door to her and Derek's apartment, relieved to be home. But before she could turn the knob, the door swung open in front of her, revealing Derek; decked out in slacks and a sweater over a button-up. He looked good, and she couldn't help but smile at that. She stepped through the doorway and breathed a sigh of relief. She was home. She was safe for another day._

_"Hey," she offered as she stepped into his waiting arms, grateful for the contact._

_"Hey," he responded easily. His arms closed around her, and for the first time that day, Meredith felt safe. "How was your afternoon?"_

_She shrugged and avoided his eyes. "Fine."_

_He pulled back far enough to give her a knowing look. He always knew._

_She relented. "Okay, it was horrible; just like the morning was, just like the rest of the week has been."_

_"Mer..."_

_"I do want to be there," she whispered, tears collecting behind her eyes. "I really do...It's just... Is it supposed to be this hard?"_

_"If it wasn't hard, it wouldn't be worth it."_

_She smiled at his words. He had said that once about them. He had been right. It had been a struggle getting to the point they were at, but it had been worth it. "Sometimes I feel like it's too hard. I hate that everyone is still walking on eggshells around me."_

_He hesitated. "Maybe they're doing it for a reason..." He ventured._

_She narrowed her eyes at him. "What is that supposed to mean?"_

_He took a breath. "How would you feel about going out to dinner tonight?"_

_Meredith didn't even have to think before she was shaking her head, her body tense. "No. Not tonight, Derek. I'm sorry, I-" He cut her off with a gentle squeeze and a shake of his head._

_"That's what I mean," he said gently. "People are reacting to you, Mer. You're very flighty. And I know that it sucks. The whole thing sucks. And _I-"

_"That's not fair," Meredith cut in, abruptly pulling away to stand on her own two feet. "I'm allowed to be flighty. I hate it, but it's all I can do right now at work."_

_"Hey, hey," he soothed, holding up his hands in front of him. "I'm not trying to blame you for anything, Meredith. None of this, not a single part, is your fault. But I love you so much that I can't just sit back and watch you suffer anymore."_

_"Derek..." she whispered, not sure if she wanted him to stop talking, keeping going, or simply hold her and promise everything was going to be okay. He had a way of always making her believe that when he spoke the words. _

_He reached for her hand. "I love you," he repeated. "And I know you, so I know how to react to you. But the people at the hospital...for the most part, they have good intentions. And they know you're strong, Mer, the last two years have proved to everyone just how strong you are. But even the strongest people crack, and that's okay. And I'm not saying you need to crack, or that you are cracking, but you're jumpy, and you avoid, and you run, and you keep far away from anyone you're talking with. Mer, they're walking on eggshells around you, because that's what they think you need."_

_"But I don't want it," she told him quietly. _

_He smiled at her. "_I_ know that, but that's where the whole 'I love you and I know you' come in."_

_Meredith sighed heavily, feeling her spirits dropping even further. She averted her eyes. "I don't know how to fix it."_

_His hand found her chin and gently coaxed her eyes back to his, and all she found behind them was love and support. "You need to start living again, Mer," he whispered. "I can't sit back and watch you do this to yourself anymore. This whole self-imposed isolation thing you've got going is unhealthy."_

_She swallowed hard. "But..."_

_He tilted his head, his hand lifting from her chin to cup her cheek. "It kills me to see you so unhappy. I just want to make you happy again."_

_Meredith shut her eyes tightly, leaning into his touch. When she finally found the strength to re-open them, he was still there, as loving and concerned as ever. "It's scary," she admitted. _

_"I know, and I hate that. But it doesn't have to be overwhelming. And I can be there for as much as you need me."_

_"I don't know how to get back to..." she shrugged, "everything."_

_He kissed her cheek. "We can start small. We could go to Joe's for a drink one night before it gets too crowded. We could go to your house for dinner with your friends. Small steps."_

_She nodded. "I think I can handle something like that."_

_"I don't want to push you," he told her quietly. "I just...I don't want to regret not doing something when I could have. Mer, you are an amazing, vibrant, wonderful person. And I will not see that destroyed for good. It will take some time, but you will come back from this."_

_Meredith hesitated. "What if I don't come back the same?"_

_"Then I will still love you," he said quickly, knowing exactly where her fears lay. "There is absolutely nothing that could change the way I feel about you. Nothing. And I will give you time. And I will be right here beside you. And I will postpone our wedding, because I want it to be special, and the only way it can is if we're both ready and excited. And I will support you no matter what, Meredith. But I won't sit back and let you be unhappy if I know there is something I can do to fix it. I won't be that guy, Mer."_

_She stepped forward, her arms running up his chest to wrap around his neck. "Thank-you, Derek."_

_He rubbed her back. "It's what I'm here for."_

_"I don't want to be afraid anymore," she whispered._

_"Then we'll work on making that happen." He sighed and stilled his hands against her back, momentarily tightening his grasp. "We'll fix this, Mer. Everything will be okay, I promise."_

_She pulled away far enough to meet his eyes, feeling a swell of confidence wash over her; she believed him. "Did you really want to...go out for dinner?"_

_He leaned in and kissed her. "Not tonight," he answered softly. "I have something else planned for tonight, but maybe we could go to Joe's tomorrow after work?"_

_"Okay, I think I can handle that." She nodded to emphasize her agreement._

_He kissed her again. "Good."_

_She released him and went to step around him, her eyes falling on the dining table across the room for the first time, taking in the waiting dishes, the lit candles and the wine glasses. "What's this?" She asked, turning back to him. _

_He grasped for her fingers, stepping up beside her, his free hand finding her hip. "We're celebrating."_

_"Celebrating my removal from self-imposed isolation?" She raised an eyebrow._

_He laughed. "No. We're celebrating my removal from my self-imposed idiocy."_

_Meredith blinked. "I'm not following."_

_He pressed his lips against her cheek. "One year ago today, I found myself on a camping trip, surrounded by a number of other men, when the only person I wanted to be with was you. And I realized just what an idiot I had been, both for choosing Addison and for needing time when I finally got you to choose me. And I came home, and found you at Joe's and somehow managed to convince you to give me yet another chance."_

_Meredith turned her head to smile at him. "So, this is like an anniversary?"_

_"Yeah," he responded. "I guess it is."_

_"That's...pretty cool," she said. "I've never really had an anniversary before." One year after their first meeting ever, she had been stranded in a Hawaiian airport, waiting for her flight home with Cristina. Plus, it hadn't made much sense to celebrate when they had spent much of that year apart and with other people. And the anniversary of their first time for the second time had come and past unacknowledged. Adulterous sex in an exam room wasn't something you celebrated on an annual basis. "I'm sorry I didn't realize..."_

_He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I just realized last week. O'Malley said something about camping...it got me thinking. And I thought it deserved recognition."_

_"So, a year ago today, huh?"_

_"Yeah..."_

_"I remember...you came to me, and re-introduced yourself, said you wanted to start over, that you wanted us to do it right, that you wanted me to know you."_

_He nodded. "And it worked. Well, okay, it didn't work right away. We started out right, but then got sidetracked for a while. But then we did back up and get everything right."_

_Meredith turned in his arms, facing him once again. "We did, didn't we? Get everything right, I mean."_

_He smiled and kissed her, and for the first time in four weeks, Meredith began to see a light at the end of the tunnel. "We got everything perfect."_

000

Meredith stepped out of the silver Explorer and wandered around to meet Derek at his side. It was still early. They had gotten changed and headed out of the house before anyone else had stirred, leaving a note saying they would be home soon.

Derek had stepped out of his seat, but had yet to shut the door, his hand still wrapped tightly around the frame, his fingers turning white as he surveyed the gently rolling hills before them. Meredith hesitated, wondering if he needed a moment to himself. Although she had been through a very similar experience, she had no idea what he was feeling right now. She could enter the scrub room without feeling anything, but Derek was obviously feeling something strong now.

His eyes shone with gentle sadness and loss. His hand continued to hold its iron grip on the car door, as if not letting go meant he didn't have to do this. He breathed in, deep and shuddery, and Meredith found herself moving towards him, unable to watch him in pain.

She tucked herself against him, her arms wrapping around his waist, and remained silent. There wasn't anything she could say to make this easier. But she was there with him, and she could only hope that was of some comfort to him.

His free hand found purchase on her back, pulling her closer to him. She smiled and rested her head against his shoulder, her ear against his check, able to hear the faint _thump, thump, thump_ of his heart. "I'm here," she whispered.

He breathed in again, deep and shaky, and he found the strength to release the car door and wrap his arm around her instead. Meredith couldn't help but hug him even tighter.

"It's been so long," he finally stated.

"How long?" She asked quietly.

"The day before I left for college. I...I promised I would come back, but I...I always had an excuse not to."

"It's okay, Derek. I'm sure he would understand."

"It wasn't that I couldn't come," he admitted with an uncharacteristic vulnerability in his voice. "It was that I couldn't bring myself to come."

Meredith pulled back enough to meet his eyes; they were already threatening to spill over, and tears sprang to her eyes at the sight. She couldn't not cry when he was crying. "Oh, Derek..." She ran her hands up to his shoulders and pulled him down to lean their foreheads together. "I don't know what to say to make this easier."

His hands lifted higher on her back and clutched to the lose material of the back of her shirt. "You're here," he whispered.

"I'm here," she reiterated.

"I need to do this..."

"I know."

"It's been twenty years since I've been here..." He shook his head. "I can't believe I let it go so long. I've driven past it so many times, but I've never found the strength to drive through the front gates..."

"You're here now," she told him. "That's all that matters."

He took a breath and pulled his forehead from hers, tears streaming freely down his cheeks. Meredith reached up to wipe them away, ignoring the streams on her own cheeks.

Derek nodded to himself and reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly in his. "Okay, I think I'm ready." He finally shut the car door and began leading her down the gravel pathway that curved around the many small, rolling hills. It may have been twenty years, but he knew every turn. Although, Meredith told herself, it wasn't something you were likely to forget.

When he finally came to a stop he released her hand and stepped forward, gingerly stepping across the well kept grass, his hand reaching out to brush along the letter engraved on the upright slab of granite before him.

_Samuel Derek Shepherd_

_Loving husband and father,_

_Taken too soon._

_January 16__th__ 1941 – March 27__th__ 1977_

"I'm a year older now than he was when he died." Derek spoke softly, his fingers still tracing the words.

Meredith nodded. "I know." His thirty-seventh birthday had been bitter sweet. It was the first one his father had failed to celebrate.

He fell silent, crouching down, his fingers running along the dates at the bottom of the tomb stone. Meredith could almost picture him having done this growing up; from the first time he had visited this place at eight years of age, his small fingers making the trek around the important words.

She sniffed, her arms wrapping around herself as she watched the intimate scene unfold before her. He needed a moment alone with his father, but he needed her there with him too. And that realization cemented just how much they needed each other, just how strong they were together.

"It's been twenty-nine years," Derek spoke, his voice low and scratchy and filled with emotion. He stood and walked back to her. "It's been twenty-nine years and I still miss him. I still want to go to him for advice."

Meredith wrapped an arm around his tense frame. "I'm sure he's there, Derek, somewhere in you... He's there when you need him."

His sniffed and nodded. "I hope so."

"I know so," she countered. "Your mother keeps telling me how much you remind her of him. He's there Derek. He's in there and he's proud of you."

His frame shuddered under her hand and she closed her arms around her. He didn't hesitate to turn in her grip and bury his face him the crook of her shoulder, clutching to her.

Meredith ran her hands along his back as she felt moisture seep into the fabric of her shirt under his face. "Oh, Derek..." she whispered, one hand reaching up to run through his hair. "I'm so sorry..." The wind blew quietly around them; seeming to rattle the leaves of all the trees dotting the property, save for the one nearest them. It made her feel like they were in a protective bubble. Somewhere in the distance a bird chirped. A car door shut in the distance. Someone else was here to visit a lost loved one.

He quieted in her arms but continued to clutch onto her. It was several minute before he lifted his head to meet her eyes, his red and puffy.

Meredith offered him a supportive smile and tenderly wiped the dampness from his face. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers, his chest pressing into hers as he breathed deeply. They were both well past the point of being embarrassed by showing so much emotion in front of the other. "I think I got your shirt wet," he mumbled.

She let out a laughing breath. "Your shirt," she corrected, as she had re-donned his sweatshirt after changing out of her pajamas.

"I didn't think it was still mine," he said lightly, "seeing as I'm barley allowed to wear it anymore..."

Meredith smiled. He had a point. She only let him wear it after it had come out of the wash, to make it smell like him. Then she wore it until it needed to be cleaned again. "You have plenty of sweatshirts," she chastised gently.

"But that's my favourite..."

"It's my favourite too."

He laughed and pulled his forehead away from hers, his hands swiping down along her shoulder and arms, his fingers running over the old, soft fabric. "To tell you the truth, Mer, it's only my favourite because you wear it all the time." He offered her a smile. "You look better in it than me."

She ran her hands up his chest to his neck, cupping his jaw with her small hands. "You okay?"

He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. "Yeah," he responded after he had pulled away. "I'm okay. You're here, so I'm okay."

She swallowed hard at his quiet words. "I am here," she agreed softly.

His lips tightened upward into a terse smile. "I'm so glad," he whispered.

Meredith sighed and remained close to him, following his lead as he sat on the grass several feet in front of the head stone marking his father's final resting place. His hand closed tightly around hers, pulling it into his lap to hold between his. His eyes caught on the words once again, but his gaze was unfocussed.

He stared, unseeingly into his past; reliving memories.

She stayed quiet, allowing him as much time as he needed. His eyes were glazed over, but his breathing was deep and even. His thumb worked absently back and forth along the back of her hand. The wind blew past them once more. Trees and grass in the distance rustled. But their tree didn't move. She felt safe and peaceful, despite the place they were in. The man Derek was silently communicating with was an important part of his past, and she found herself honoured he was sharing that with her.

She didn't know how long they sat there before he finally sighed, his eyes focussing on her as he pulled his gaze away from the head stone. "He would have loved you." His words were soft and quiet.

Meredith swallowed, tears stinging the backs of her eyes. "I would love to have met him," she offered, knowing how implausible it sounded. She and Sam Shepherd hadn't ever existed at the same time. He had died a few months before she had been born.

"There are so many things I wish I could remember about him."

"You were only eight, Derek. There's only so much your brain can hold onto."

He offered her a smile. "You know, it's funny because I know that no parent is perfect, but I can't remember a single bad thing about him; not a single bad memory."

"Maybe he _was_ the perfect father."

"I like to think so..." His eyes took on a certain gleam as his mind drifted back over his early childhood memories. "He always made time for us, even when he was tired and busy. He was so patient. I can remember the first time he took me fishing. And the year he built the rink and taught us all to skate. And the days he would take just me out for lunch to get me away from all the girls." His lips turned up into a smile. "Though I think he needed the time away, too."

Meredith laughed and squeezed his hand, urging him to continue.

"I can still remember the day he found the original blue prints they used to build the house with. We spent hours pouring over them; going through every detail..."

Meredith smiled and leaned against his shoulder, remembering the details she and Derek had gone through with the architect to make sure their dream house would be perfect.

"He was the perfect father," Derek stated wistfully. "He always knew what to do, what to say, how to make things better. He really was amazing..."

"He _does_ sound a lot like you," she said quietly.

"You think so?"

She nodded. "I know so. And...I know you'll be the perfect, amazing father one day, too."

His breath caught and he turned to her. On the plane ride home from New York after Thanksgiving, Meredith had decided she was leaning towards wanting kids, but still wasn't certain. Three and a half months later, with Derek's ring on her finger and wedding plans enacted for that summer and a house already under construction, they had talked about kids again. She had been much more certain, and his eyes had shone so bright it had made her heart ache for him. But two days after the ever so important talk, her father had almost destroyed her.

The subject of kids hadn't come up since. She had known he was avoiding the subject, cautious the incident had scared her off the idea. And she hadn't brought it up with the same fears in mind. She hadn't known whether she still felt capable of handling the responsibility of raising children when her parents had both done such horrible jobs.

But somewhere in the past few months she had realized just how much of a choice she really did have in the matter, and she wasn't going to let her past drag her down anymore. She was going to choose to be a good mother. And there wasn't a doubt in her mind that Derek would be a fantastic father. Together they would be strong, supportive, loving parents. They would make time for their kids; show up at recitals and competitions and graduations. Their kids would never question that they were loved.

"Mer..." he whispered.

She offered a gentle smile at his silence. "You'll be an amazing father," she repeated. "And it will show you just how much of your father is in you."

Tears welled in both of his eyes, but he didn't bother to wipe them away as they slowly spilled over his lower lids, weaving down both of his cheeks. "Are you sure?" He asked, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"Derek...I'm sure. I'm so freaking sure that I barely recognize my own thoughts anymore."

His arm wrapped around her as he pressed his face against the side of her head. "I love you so much, Meredith, so much."

"I love you too," she whispered, gripping at the arm that had snaked around her waist.

He pulled back to meet her eyes. "I thought... I thought that after everything that maybe..."

She nodded. "I know. I think that maybe it almost did change my mind, but I..." She swallowed hard. "I'm not going to let that man destroy any of the progress I've made. We're going to be happy, you and me. And having kids may still be scary, but..." She offered him a watery smile. "But I want them, Derek. I'm not just willing to have them for you, I actually want them, like really freaking want them. With you."

He shifted closer and wrapped her tighter in his arms. "How did I ever get so lucky?"

"I was just asking myself the same thing."

After several quiet moments, Derek turned to face forward again, but kept his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. He sighed heavily. "I know he's been gone for almost thirty years, but... I still wish he could be there tomorrow."

She smiled and laid her head against his shoulder. "Me too, Derek."

"It's an important day."

"Yeah..."

He sighed again. "I don't think I've missed him this much since I was eight years old."

She lifted her head off his shoulder and caught his gaze. She knew Sam had been in his thoughts a lot lately, especially after his thirty-seventh birthday, but she hadn't ever seen it so extreme. Biting down on her lower lip, Meredith reached for his hand, and found herself without anything to say to commiserate. It wasn't like she had ever known being loved by a father. And like she had voiced to her best friend so long before, if Thatcher died her life wouldn't be any different. "I don't know what to say to you," she admitted. It had happened so long ago, and she couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like. She had never had a father like his to lose. She could remember how devastated George was when his father had died. She could still remember how tightly he had clutched to her outside his father's ICU room.

He offered her a wry smile. "I don't think there's anything that can be said."

She tilted her head, still meeting his eyes. "He loved you," she said quietly. "He loved you a lot. I know...you're mother told me how much he loved being a father; how much he loved all of his kids so freaking much..." She trailed off as his face tightened and squeezed his hand. "He loved you," she repeated. "And that doesn't ever stop because he's gone."

Derek closed his eyes and pulled her in close again, his arms hugging her like there was no tomorrow. "Thank-you," he whispered.

"I'm just stating the truth," she found herself whispering back, clutching to him just as tightly as he was to her, her emotions going overtime in response to his.

"He was such a good dad," he said quietly.

She nodded against him. "And you'll be just as good as he was, Derek. And you'll make him so proud."

000

Derek smiled as he stepped out of the back doors of his mother's house, his eyes taking in the tents being erected in preparation for the following day. Weather permitting, the ceremony would take place outside. Enough flowers had been ordered to border a makeshift altar and the portable folding chairs would be taken out of the tents to seat the guests. If the weather forecast turned out to be wrong, they would simply move the dinner tables to the side and get married under the large event tents.

Everything was coming together.

The entire Seattle crowd they had invited were going to make it. Meredith's closest friends were already there. Bailey and her family, Lexie, and Joe and Walter were flying in that evening. They would pick them up at the airport and deliver them to their hotel. The Chief had e-mailed Derek back to confirm that he would be coming, but Derek was leaving Richard alone to all of his travel plans; full forgiveness was going to take some time.

His immediate family was all there already. And he had called other family members and friends who he cared to invite, and quite a few were going to come, his Aunt Abby being the most important. She was his father's sister, and didn't have any family of her own after her husband had died years before. Most of her holidays were spent with the Shepherds. She had been there at Thanksgiving and had loved Meredith.

Derek's father had also had a brother, Cliff, but he was too far away to make it on such short notice, making Derek extra thankful that Abby was coming. He needed a tie to his father there on his wedding day, especially after the morning he had had.

Nothing had prepared him for the emotional reaction he had succumbed to in the cemetery; and he was more thankful for Meredith's presence beside him than he could express. He could remember visiting alone the day before he left for college. He had driven in, parked, walked to the grave, run his fingers over the engraved words, shed a single tear and hoped his father would be proud of him; the fourth in the family to head off for pre-med in college.

The night of Sam's funeral, Derek, all four sisters and Mark had huddled together in the small den off the living room. Kathleen, the oldest, had been twelve, and Anna had only been five. A lot of crying and a group hug had led to a pact. All six had decided right then and there that they would become doctors so that they could save other kids' fathers. And in the end, not one of them had failed to live up to the agreement.

"Everything good, man?" Mark called as he exited the house behind Derek.

Derek turned and offered his best man a smile. "Looks like it..."

"I still can't believe you actually managed to pull it off in a week."

"Don't be so surprised," Derek said with a joking scoff, "there ain't nothin' we can't handle."

Mark laughed and shook his head, but sobered quickly. "You know what? I'm beginning to think that's true. I mean, after everything you guys have been through together..." Mark trailed off with a shrug. "You deserve this. You deserve to be happy."

"_She_ deserves to be happy," Derek corrected. He smiled as he caught sight of her down the hill to his left. It was a nice day, so his family was having a barbeque lunch. Meredith's friends were over for the day, and were integrating easily with his family. Cristina had found a willing surgeon to talk to in Anna. Alex was talking football with Spencer and Kathleen. George was happily working the barbeque. And they had finally found the perfect niche for Izzy's enthusiasm in playing with the kids. They hoped that by nightfall they would have tired each other out.

"You deserve it too, man," Mark prompted. "The last two years haven't been easy on you either, and I know I take responsibility for a large chunk of that-"

"Shut up, Mark," Derek cut him off. "I think we're past that," he said wryly, raising an eyebrow.

"I know. I'm just saying..."

"Look, you hurt me. I'm not going to pretend you didn't. And Richard hurt me. But if you hadn't slept with Addy when you did and Richard hadn't called and offered me a job when he did..." Derek shook his head. "I don't even want to think about it, because it would mean we wouldn't be here today. I would never have met her. I would never have fallen in love with her. And I wouldn't be half as happy as I am right now." He smiled to himself before turning back to Mark. "All of the crap from the last two years is worth it for the good stuff."

Mark made a noise in the back of his throat and shook his head. "See, now you're getting soft and mushy and I'm losing respect for you."

Derek laughed. "And yet...I can't bring myself to care."

"You're telling me you're not even a little embarrassed by the fact that Grey's got you wrapped around her little finger?"

He rolled his eyes. "She does not."

"Maybe not completely," Mark conceded, "but damn close to if you ask me."

"See, now I don't remember asking you..."

Mark laughed. "Seriously, man, I'm happy for you. She's good for you."

"She is."

"And as much as I never thought I'd say this, you've really got me thinking..."

"About..."

Mark averted his eyes discreetly. "I think I want this one day."

Derek smiled at his best friend's admission. "You'll get it."

"I don't know, man... It's not easy to find."

"If it's easy, it's not worth it."

"You sound like an after school special."

Derek scoffed. "I do not."

"You know, only giving me a week's notice for this wedding is leaving me without a partner in crime here, Derek. She's my vice president, but I assume getting married means she'll be retiring from the dirty mistresses' club."

Derek rolled his eyes. "You know I hate it when you call her that."

"Sorry, man, it's just...she reminds me a lot of myself. And we had a lot in common. It was nice to...have someone who knew what I was feeling."

Derek sighed as he contemplated his next words. "Do you miss her?"

Mark caught his eye and paused, not having to ask who they were talking about now; the woman who had come between them. He shrugged. "I think so."

"You think so?"

"She didn't want me," Mark said quietly. "I tried, believe me, I tried, but I wasn't what she wanted. And I can't hold onto that forever."

"No, I guess not..." Derek trailed off, uncertain of what to say next. He had never had to inform Mark in the ways of love before, not even considering the fact that they were discussing Derek's ex-wife.

"Whatever," Mark said quickly. "I'm going to find it one day."

"You are," Derek agreed, lending Mark his support. "I mean, come on, this will be the second time you've been my best man... I'll be looking to return the favour soon."

Mark smirked. "Hey, if that day ever materialises, you can count on being my best man."

Derek laughed. "Good." He sighed and motioned that they should begin to head down to the pond to join the barbeque. "So, I went to see dad this morning," he offered quietly.

"I was wondering where you two disappeared to."

"Yeah...I finally went back."

"And you took Meredith." It wasn't a question.

"I did. It...it felt like something I needed to do. I think he would have loved her."

"He definitely would have loved her," Mark agreed. "Did you mention that we all followed through on the pact?"

Derek laughed. "I'm sure he already knows." He shook his head. "It's hard to believe sometimes, isn't it? We were so young and naive, and yet...we all got into and through med school, all six of us."

"Dad would be so proud."

Derek actually felt a smile flutter across his face. "He would be."

"Do you have any other wedding-related stuff to do today?" Mark asked as they neared the picnic tables.

"I don't think so..."

"Good, cause we leave at seven."

"Leave for where?"

"Bachelor party."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Seriously, Mark, that's really not necessary..."

"Hey, I'm a little offended. What kind of best man would I be if there was no bachelor party?"

"Mark..."

"It's a done deal, Derek. All the guys are coming, and we have to be out of the house anyway, cause the girls are having their own party."

"When was all this decided?"

Mark scoffed. "I was told three days ago that I was to 'take you far away from the house Friday night' so I made a reservation. We're all going; Simon, Dean, Phil and Spencer, plus O'Malley and Karev. And since the girls are leaving us in charge of the airport run tonight, I guess Tucker, Joe and Walter if they're up for it after the flight."

"Mark..."

His best friend laughed. "Don't worry, man, it won't be like last time. No strippers this time..."

Derek groaned. "That's what you said the last time."

"True. But I mean it this time. Come on, Derek, we were young. It was exciting to hire strippers. Now it's just sad."

"You calling us old?"

"Never!"

Derek laughed. "So...a quieter party."

"Yes, but not boring, because only old people have boring bachelor parties."

Derek rolled his eyes. "I don't want to be hung over this time." He could remember trying to drown his fears with alcohol the night before his first wedding. And Mark had been right there, passing him the drinks. He had woken the next morning with an earth-shattering hang over, more nervous than he had been the night before. Mark had had the foresight to steal a banana bag from the hospital they were doing their rotations in, and after the future-world-renown plastic surgeon took three tries to get it into Derek's vein, the hung over groom had begun to feel a bit better. Several hours and a maximum dose of ibuprofen later and Derek had found himself dressed in an uncomfortable tux Addison had picked out for him, feeling more nauseous than he had all day; and he was certain it had nothing to do with the alcohol. And Mark had been right there- passing him a flask as they stood outside of the ceremony hall, waiting to be called in- doing his best to keep him calm.

"Well, I didn't have the foresight to have a banana bag prepared for tomorrow morning this time, so I'll have to limit your intake."

Derek rolled his eyes. "At least this way I won't have to subject my arm to your torture as you struggle to get a good stick."

"It wasn't that bad, especially considering I had only ever done that once."

"Wait until the next time you're acutely hung over and I'll stab you in the arm a few times and see how you like it..."

Mark clicked his tongue. They were nearing the rest of the family. "Whatever, man, I saved your ass that day, and you know it. If Addy had realized how hung over you should have been, you would have been a dead man."

Derek laughed. "You've got me there."

They separated as they reached the bottom of the hill. Mark headed straight for the barbeque, but Derek found himself being drawn the other direction. He wandered up behind his fiancée, who was sitting with Cristina and Anna at one of the scattered picnic tables.

"Hey," he whispered as he dipped his head to plant a kiss on the crook of her neck, his hands finding her shoulders.

She startled at the sudden contact, but settled quickly, leaning back against him. "Hey," she responded, her free hand reaching up to wrap around his fingers.

He squeezed her shoulders and moved to sit next to her, straddling the bench seat and pulling her close. They had both been busy since their return from the cemetery that morning, and he felt like he was going through Meredith withdrawal; which, rationally, was absurd, but in reality he felt like he couldn't breathe with out her right now. "I love you," he whispered into her ear as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

Meredith leaned into him and sighed happily. "I love you more."

He growled into the side of her head, his arms still wrapped around her, keeping her close. "Not true."

She giggled. "Is so true."

"Liar," he mumbled into her neck before pressing his lips against the smooth skin several times.

She giggled again. "Are you seriously calling me a liar?"

"Mmm-hmm." He trailed kisses up her neck, even going so far as to nip at her ear lobe.

Cristina cleared her throat from across the table. "Seriously, McDreamy, we're trying to eat here."

He rolled his eyes and continued to hold the love of his life close to him, even though she was blushing and trying to distance herself. "Then eat. I'm not stopping you," he countered.

"I'm not worried about getting the food down; I'm worried about it coming back up..."

He laughed. "Not my problem, Yang."

Meredith clicked her tongue. "Derek..."

He pressed his lips against her neck one more time, causing her to giggle. "What? I'm not allowed to show you how much I love you?"

She sighed, completely giving in to his grip around her. "Not when you're making it embarrassing..."

He laughed into her ear, inadvertently sending a wave of goose-bumps to erupt across her skin. "Only Cristina seems to have a problem...she doesn't count..."

Cristina scoffed. "Oh, I count. And when your bride freaks out tomorrow when she's supposed to walk down the aisle you had better hope you're on my good side, because as Maid of Honour, I have the power to make or break the wedding..." She raised an eyebrow to extenuate her point.

"Cristina!" Meredith chastised. "We've had this discussion. There will be no freaking out."

"You say that now..."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "I said that yesterday, too."

Mark collapsed onto the bench next to Cristina, interrupting their conversation, and passed Derek a hamburger.

"Thanks, man," Derek said with a surprised nod.

"Just being the best Best Man I can be," Mark countered. "So, what are we talking about?"

Derek smirked. "Oh, nothing big. Cristina was just threatening me..."

"You're not supposed to threaten the groom," Mark stated, turning to Cristina, his tone very matter-of-fact.

She rolled her eyes. "I can threaten whoever I feel like, Sloan, especially people who make me nauseous with their blatant PDAs."

Mark laughed. "They're getting married; that's like the only time when that kind of behaviour is justified."

Cristina glared at him. "Yeah, well, I still have the power to make or break the wedding tomorrow..."

Derek laughed as the two top people in their wedding party sparred off, knowing it was all in fun. Not that he expected his bride to have second thoughts by the way she was so comfortably leaning into his chest while she laughed along with him, but he had faith that even if she did, her best friend would come through with the right thing to say.

"You're going so far as to use that as a threat?" Mark whistled. "Very bold, Yang, but I have to say, that really makes you the worst Maid of Honour ever..."

"I'm a better Main of Honour than you are a Best Man..."

"How do you figure?"

Cristina rolled her eyes. "Well, I'm not planning on sleeping with the bride..." She trailed off. "Or the groom if we're reversed or whatever..."

With Anna, Simon, Phil, Spencer and Natalie sitting within hearing range, the situation could have degenerated into the realm of awkward very quickly, but Mark didn't flounder. "Hey, my actions led to this wedding, giving you the opportunity to be Maid of Honour. What was your contribution to getting the happy couple here, today?"

Cristina glared at him for several moments before she spoke. "I'll have you know that _I_ was there from day one; listening to Meredith rant about her McDreamy, complain about Bailey riding her all the time, and on the very first day, complain that her boss ended up being the guy she had kicked out of her bed that morn- Ah!" She cut herself off with a yelp as a thud was heard under the table. Meredith had kicked her; hard.

Silence reigned for several seconds as Meredith blushed and burrowed against Derek's chest. Mark laughed, but Cristina at least had the decency to send her best friend a short apologetic glance. And the Shepherd's glanced around awkwardly, pretending not to have heard anything.

"Anyway..." Spencer ventured, but unsuccessfully as he came up with nothing.

A herd of giggling children ran past, Izzy right on their heels. George had evidently been roped into the game as he trailed behind a few strides, glancing forlornly at the table. Alex joined the silent table with his third hamburger, not recognizing the tension.

Phil caught sight of the parade of children. "I still think I know your friend from somewhere," he said quickly, turning to face Meredith, happy to have come up with a topic change.

"No, you don't," Derek said quickly, grimacing when he realized he was echoing Meredith. Because that didn't look suspicious...

Simon narrowed his eyes. "Okay, now I _know_ I know her from somewhere." Phil nodded his agreement.

Derek sent what he hoped to be a 'don't go there' look to his brothers-in-law, but his attempt was in vain as Alex spoke up.

"You talking about Izzy?"

Simon and Phil nodded.

"Bethany Whisperer, dude. She modelled through med school."

"Isn't that a..."

"Crap."

Simon and Phil spoke at the same time.

Natalie narrowed her eyes. "Where do I know that name from...?" She inhaled.

Derek bit back a smirk, knowing Simon and Phil were screwed. But at least he had tried.

"You recognized her from being a lingerie model?"

"No, Nat, it must be from somewhere else..." Phil tried, but Natalie was already glaring at him. "I'm sorry?" he said meekly.

She shook her head. "You are _so_ going to pay for this, mister." She turned to Simon. "You too." She stood, and Simon was quickly up as well.

"Please don't tell Kath..." He called as he chased her towards her sister, Phil following behind.

Anna watched for a moment and turned a sharp, expectant look towards her husband.

Spencer quickly put his hands up in mock surrender. "I don't know her from anywhere." He stood and made his way around the table, sitting next to his wife. "You're the only one I want to look at in your underwear, and maybe not even that much..."

Anna gasped and playfully pushed him away. "So inappropriate!"

Using a very well practiced method, Derek shoved any thoughts having anything to do with men and his sisters out of his mind and smirked as he pressed his lips close to Meredith's ear. "That goes for me, too..."

"Seriously!" She exclaimed, despite the fact that she was laughing.

He met her lips with his for several seconds before pulling away. "Seriously."

Cristina exchanged a glance with Alex. "I have to say, the Shepherd's aren't dull..."

000

It was ten to seven.

Derek knew; he had been made acutely aware of the time. Mark had said they were leaving at seven, and he was under no disillusion that his Best Man would give him a few extra minutes.

He only had ten minutes, and maybe only nine now. He was running out of time to say all of the things that he was thinking. And he wasn't making any progress, because his throat was suddenly dry and he was lacking the ability to speak.

She shifted against him, her hands clutched to fistfuls of the fabric of his shirt over his back, just as clingy as he suddenly found himself to be. This hadn't even been a moment before his first wedding. He couldn't even remember having thought about it. But it was definitely a moment now.

This was the last time he would see her - hold her, kiss her, speak to her, tell her how much she meant to him - when they were still just engaged. Because the next time he would see her, she would be walking towards him in a white dress.

Eight minutes.

He swallowed, fully aware of the seconds ticking by unannounced, of the significant time being lost. He would be kept out late, well after midnight if Mark had anything do to with it. And Derek was looking forward to it. But it meant getting home _tomorrow._ And his sisters were all very strict about the whole 'groom can't see the bride before the wedding' rule. He had been moved to the basement for the night. And he was certain her room would be heavily guarded. There would be no sneaking up. And there would be very little sleep for him. He didn't sleep well without her beside him anymore.

Seven minutes.

He sighed, running his hands over her back, recognizing every crevice, every dip and curve of skin. "I love you," he mumbled into her hair as he breathed in its flowery scent.

"I love you more," she responded, leaning against his shoulder with her face pressed into the crook of his neck.

He smiled. "Not possible."

"Is too possible."

Six minutes.

"I love _you _more."

She lifted her face, her eyes meeting his in a quiet stand off. "No, I love _you_ m-"

Mesmerized by her effect on him, he covered her lips with his own. She responded immediately, her hands trailing upwards, one clutching to the fabric over his shoulder, and the other finding purchase in his hair.

Five minutes.

He tightened his hold around her as she deepened the kiss and slowly dipped her back. Her hands tightened minutely, but she allowed the movement, trusting herself in his arms.

Four minutes. Three minutes.

They were both left gasping when he finally came up for air. He was still supporting her weight as he leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "I love you so freaking much right now..."

"I love you too, Derek, so much."

He stood up straight, bringing her with him and lifted his forehead away from hers to plant a kiss there. "One more day..."

She sniffed and nodded. "One more day..."

He met her eyes. "You ready?"

She nodded, her eyes welling, but clearer than he had ever seen. "Oh, my god, this is actually happening..."

He could feel her heartbeat through his chest, matching his own. "Please don't tell me you're freaking out now."

She laughed, her rib cage shuddering as she struggled to control her emotions. "It's only good freaking out, I promise."

Two minutes.

He pressed his lips again against her swollen lips. "Good. Good freaking out is okay." He smiled at her. She was shaking slightly in his arms, but he couldn't remember ever having seen her as joyful as she was right now. Her eyes were reflecting his with a smooth clarity that took his breath away. Her smile was freer than ever. All of her walls were down, demolished and flattened by her faith in him; in them. There wasn't a hint of anything but trust and love and anticipation for the following day.

"What about you, are you ready?"

His breath was caught in his throat as the answer to her question momentarily overwhelmed him, leaving his voice hoarse when he did find the strength to speak. "Mer," he started, lifting a hand to brush a few stray hairs off of her face, "I've never been more certain or more ready for anything. Ever. In my entire life."

Her smile alone was worth all of the crap they had been forced to wade through over the past two years to get to this moment. "Me too," she whispered.

He kissed her again.

One minute.

"I have so many things I wish I could say to you right now..."

She shook her head and kissed him. "You've already said them. We both have."

He nodded. "You're right."

She smirked. "Of course I'm right. I'll always be right, remember?"

He laughed. "Not yet..."

"I will be in nineteen hours..."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

There was a knock at the door. "Come on, Derek, don't make me come in there and drag you out."

He swallowed hard, pooling his strength to be able to let her go.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she whispered.

He nodded, releasing her from his hold. "I'll be waiting."

She smiled. "I know." She reached up, placing her hand on his chest for balance, and kissed him. Soft. Quick. Kind of like a habit.

Like something they would do every day for the rest of their lives.

_**AN: Officially the longest chapter I've ever written; over 15k. And stuff got cut from it. Just to address a few things quickly. I always planned on having a flashback to Mer and Izzy seeing Anna at the conference, but it didn't fit in the last chapter like it was supposed to. It may come up eventually in this universe. Second, I have no romantic ideation about Cristina and Mark. Their banter was important to set up a joke for the next chapter and to fit in a line that...well, if you get it, you get it. If not, it doesn't matter. It's three in the morning and I thought it was funny. Third, I'm guesstimating that in Grey's time, it is June 2006, in case you were confused about dates and stuff.**_

_**Lastly, stemming from my own thoughts and a question and further correspondence with Megan Nichole (thanks for the opinion!), I'm looking for opinions about Mer walking down the aisle. Originally, I was going to have her do it alone, because that's who she is to me. But I am being drawn to having her be walked by someone, and the only person in my mind is George. Is that inappropriate with their history? And are their any other possibilities I'm overlooking? Thanks.**_

(Oh, and to any writers, I think I've discovered that the spaces that show up when you upload only seem to show up in Word 2007 documents. I tried saving this as an older, compatibility version and it uploaded without any problems.)


	9. FOREVER

**FOREVER**

'_Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.'  
-- Lao Tzu_

**-- Saturday Part 1 –**

_Meredith was exhausted. After her and Derek's quiet weekend celebrating their engagement at the trailer, she should feel rested. But she had been on her feet all day long. She had spent hours in surgery with Derek, George and the Chief on the accident victim from that morning. In the end, the surgery had been successful, but she had immediately been pulled into a second surgery without a chance for a breather in between. And then a third surgery._

_Her day had finally been over and she had been in her street clothes, her hand wrapped tightly in Derek's, on her way out of the hospital, when he had been paged to the pit. With a short kiss and an apologetic glance, he had turned to head to the ER. Meredith would cool her heels at Joe's until she knew whether he'd be in surgery or not. There was no point in going home without him if he'd be following her in less than an hour. _

_"So, is the rumour true?" Joe asked, having headed her way the second his eyes had landed on her entering the bar. _

_"Rumour?" She repeated, collapsing into her favourite bar stool with a sigh._

_He motioned towards her left arm, which she was inadvertently keeping out of sight in her lap. "Word is that McDreamy proposed on the weekend."_

_She rolled her eyes, even as a gentle wave of joy washed over her. "How can that already have reached you?"_

_Joe smiled. "So, it's true then?" He excitedly motioned to see her hand for proof._

_She couldn't help the beaming smile that overtook her facial features with surprising strength, despite her exhaustion. "It's true," she responded happily, passing her hand into his care. _

_Joe whistled as he quickly evaluated the ring, and then released her hand with a smile. "I have to tell you; I see a lot of people go home together, but I don't get to see many of them _build_ a home together. Congratulations."_

_"Thanks," she said quietly, blinking back a sudden onslaught of tears. She often forgot Joe had very literally been there at the very beginning._

_"So, where's your dreamy fiancé?"_

_She laughed and shook her head. "He got paged."_

_"That's too bad. You'll have to start celebrating without him. Whatever you want tonight is on the house."_

_"Oh, you don't have to do that..."_

_"But I want to; for my favourite customer."_

_She smiled. "Thanks, Joe."_

_"So, what'll it be?"_

_"I'll just have a beer, thanks."_

_"What, now that you're spoken for, there's no more tequila?"_

_Meredith laughed again. "Not right now."_

_"Okay, one beer coming right up."_

_"Make that two," Alex's voice called as he plopped down next to Meredith._

_"Hey," she greeted. She hadn't seen him all day._

_"Did McDreamy screw up already?"_

_"What?"_

_"Well, word is you're engaged, and yet I find you here, sucking back drinks at Joe's..."_

_She rolled her eyes. "I'm so not 'sucking back drinks,' Alex. I'm having a beer. One beer. And Derek didn't do anything. He got paged."_

_"But you are engaged?"_

_She nodded._

_He offered her an uncharacteristic smile. "Took him long enough."_

_She laughed. "That's not fair. I didn't exactly make it easy on him."_

_Alex nodded. "True."_

_"Hey..." She pretended to be insulted, but couldn't effectively inhibit the glowing smile controlling her lips. "You're not supposed to agree with that..." She muttered._

_He shook his head and then paused, his expression becoming more serious. "Good for you," he finally stated. "You deserve to be happy, Mer. Congratulations." He leaned closer and kissed her cheek._

_Meredith was momentarily taken aback. This wasn't a side to Alex she got to see very often. "Thanks, Alex."_

_"No problem. Although, you do know this means if he ever hurts you again, we have the right to kick his ass."_

_She raised an eyebrow. "We?"_

_He nodded. "Isn't that what you're always saying, that we're your family? If Shepherd steps out of line, it gives us the right to destroy him. O'Malley and I will- Okay, maybe not O'Malley, but Yang definitely. And maybe Izzy. You just say the word and we'll hunt him down."_

_Meredith laughed. "Alex..."_

_"I'm serious."_

_"I know you are, and I appreciate your offer to beat the crap out of my fiancé and everything, but I'm sure it won't be necessary."_

_"I'm just saying, the offer is there," he said with a shrug._

_"Okay."_

_"Good." He nodded. "So, did you get mobbed at work today? Izzy attacked me in the hall she was so excited."_

_Meredith nodded. "Yeah, she attacked me too. Yelled so loud that Bailey heard from the nurses' station and came and lectured us. And all of the nurses were staring at us in surgery this morning. Oh, and Sydney Heron hugged me!"_

_Alex snorted. "That's the worst part right there."_

_She laughed and nodded her agreement. "She said something about seizing happiness and using my 'glowing emotions' to help heal her patients... Seriously, what the hell is that about?"_

_"You've got me. I don't get most chicks..."_

_"You get me."_

_"You're not a chick."_

_"Hey, I take offence to that!"_

_"Chill, Grey, I didn't mean it that way. I'm just saying...you don't act like most chicks. I can actually understand you...well most of the time at least."_

_She laughed. "Well...I guess that's a good thing." She sighed and leaned against his shoulder. "I get you, too."_

_He nodded and they became silent, facing forward, sipping occasionally at their beers. _

_She sighed. _

_He sighed._

_She giggled at their timing._

_Alex sat up straight, effectively forcing her to support her own weight again as well. "I'm not doing the heart-felt, touchy-feely thing."_

_She laughed. "Did I ask you to?"_

_"Things were going in that direction..." He took a long gulp of beer. _

_"Whatever."_

_Unbeknownst to Meredith, a figure slid into the seat next to her as her attention was on Alex. "So, is this a good place to hang out?" Came the excessively chauvinistic, cocky, and familiar, voice._

_She turned to meet Derek's laughing eyes and shook her head, but Alex spoke up before she could._

_"Dude, seriously, even if it's a joke, that line is embarrassing. At least use something that actually works."_

_Derek swung his arm tightly around Meredith's waist and smirked at Alex. "It worked when it had to."_

_Alex turned a pointed look to Meredith and shook his head. "Grey, I'm disappointed in you. You fell for that?" _

_Derek was laughing beside her, but she ignored him, still focussed on Alex. "Hey, that's not fair. There were other factors in play..."_

_Alex clicked his tongue and shifted his attention to Derek. "Seriously, that's all it took?"_

_"Well, that and 'I'm someone you could get to know to love.'"_

_"Alex! Derek!" She exclaimed. "Stop talking about me."_

_Alex shook his head. "You don't get to stand up for yourself when you let him pick you up with that garbage."_

_Derek laughed as he tightened his hold around her and pressed his lips against the side of her head. "Hey, don't mock the material. Not only was I successful; I was right."_

_"Derek!" She exclaimed. "I said to stop talking about me."_

_"I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about us."_

_She shook her head as he smirked and kissed her again. She turned to Alex. "You know what; I just may take you up on that offer of yours sooner than expected..."_

000

Meredith blinked. The small action of pressing her eyelids together was all it took to move from the very beginning of the realm of awake to fully awake. It was relatively early. She had been up quite late the night before. She hadn't enjoyed as many hours of sleep as her body was probably requiring. But it didn't matter.

Meredith wasn't tired. She wasn't groggy. She wasn't clinging to sleep. She was fully awake.

She, Meredith Grey, was getting married. In just a matter of hours, she wouldn't be Meredith Grey anymore. There were no more days left to count down to. This was it.

Pressing her nose into the soft pillow supporting her head, she inhaled deeply. It smelled like Derek. She smiled and snuggled closer for just a moment. Having fallen asleep on his side of the bed, everything smelled like him. And he was the only thing missing to make this a perfect morning.

But he would be beside her the following morning. And the morning after that. And the morning after that...

He would be beside her for the rest of their lives.

Meredith took a deep breath and swung her legs out of the bed. The rest of her body followed quickly as she sat up, ready to greet the life-altering day. She was ready.

--

Derek yawned as his mind fought for consciousness. He stretched his legs downward and unconsciously reached out towards the space beside him. His hand fell on cold, empty mattress and he started; the realization of what day he had woken to washing over him like a dam bursting under the pressure of millions of gallons of water.

There was a very good reason she wasn't beside him this morning.

It was their wedding day.

He couldn't help the beaming smile that overtook his lips as he sat up and sighed. His heart was beating a little too quickly; out of nerves or excitement or any combination of the two, Derek didn't know. But he was waking up sober and healthy this time. He hadn't needed to drown his nerves and fears and insecurities at the bar the night before like he had done twelve years ago.

There weren't any doubts or fears this time. Just a lingering tingle of nerves; normal, expected, not altogether unwanted. He could definitely live with this.

He was getting married today. For the _last_ time.

There wasn't a doubt in his mind that this was it. Meredith was the woman he was meant to be with. She was the love of his life. And no one else would ever compare. He was done. He had found that thing that so many people strive for their entire lives; that thing that makes you feel like you're missing something if you're without it, like you're not complete.

Derek Shepherd felt complete.

He had found Meredith Grey.

And yes, they had been through more than their fare share of issues. But somehow over the past two years they had learned to trust each other again, and their feelings had only grown stronger. And the past December, he had gotten down on one knee and asked her for a lifetime. There had been no hesitation in her eyes when she had dropped to her knees before him and given him everything he had ever wanted. This really was it; the beginning of the rest of his life, their life.

This was it.

No more days left; only hours.

000

The living room was a sea of people and colours; her friends, and Derek's mother, sisters and other family members Meredith was being introduced to too quickly to keep track of any of them. Everyone was dressed up, men in suits and women in colourful dresses and tops. The bridal party stuck out in their purple dresses; deep, dark purple for the bridesmaids, light, lilac purple for the flower girls. Hand held bouquets were strewn around the room strategically to keep them safe and together for the ceremony.

Spencer's photography team had set up a table in the corner to handle the offloading of the pictures as the cards filled up. They were currently focussing expert eyes onto the many framed photographs gracing the living room walls.

People chatted and laughed and reminisced. Children danced happily from adult to adult. Carol was beside herself with joy. Derek's sisters were overly supportive and excited. Izzy was off the wall. Cristina was even mingling with some of the guests, sniffing out other doctors in the sea of Shepherds.

The air was upbeat and optimistic. This was a happy day.

And Meredith couldn't breathe.

Her hair was done and her make up was flawless; thanks to a combined effort by Nancy and Izzy. Her dress was hanging, ready to be donned at her ready, and she was currently dressed in jeans and one of Derek's button-ups, to prevent mussing her hair when it was time to change. She was wearing her engagement ring, her necklace and silver earrings. Cristina had a copy of her vows on cue cards in case she needed them; she doubted she would. Everything was ready. And yet, she couldn't breathe.

She managed to slip from the room unnoticed, taking refuge in the small den in the side hallway. It was, thankfully, empty. She paced back and forth several times before collapsing into the old, plush chair she and Derek had shared the previous Thanksgiving. She could still remember their quiet conversation with and without his mother.

'_A year ago, I had a job and a house and a few friends. But now I have a career, and wonderful friends, and a__home__. And most of all, I have you. And you're helping me to do things that I never thought I'd be able to do, much less want. But I do want it; everything. You've made me want everything. And you're right there beside me at every step and I...I just can't believe that all of this is actually happening.'_

_'It's pretty amazing, isn't it?' _He had smiled at her.

Meredith closed her eyes, willing her mind back to that evening, imagining the feel of Derek's arms around her. And very slowly, things began to feel less out of control. She breathed deep, revelling in the smell wafting around her from the worn fabric of his shirt. She hadn't brought anything with buttons, and was offered a shirt by all four of Derek's sisters so she wouldn't have trouble with her hair, but she had eagerly pulled a shirt out of his suitcase, knowing she would need a whiff of him with her that morning.

Light footsteps echoed through the hall, stopping in the doorway of the den. Meredith sighed and turned her head, meeting the comforting blue eyes every one of the Shepherd's seemed to have.

"Hi," she offered meekly to the woman who would be her mother-in-law in only a few short hours.

Carol smiled warmly and moved to sit across from her. "Are you alright, dear?"

"Yeah...I'm just a little overwhelmed...just needed a few moments away from all the people."

"It's a big day. That can happen. It's good to take a few minutes for yourself."

Meredith nodded, grateful that her sudden solace in isolation was okay. "There _are_ a lot of people here."

Carol nodded. "We have a large family." She hesitated. "Are you okay with there being so many people you don't know?"

Meredith nodded. "Yeah, it's okay. I'm okay."

"Just overwhelmed..."

She laughed despite herself. "Yeah..."

"Are you having second thoughts? Or cold feet?"

"No," she said honestly. "I can quite honestly say that I don't think I've ever been more certain of anything."

Carol smiled. "Good. So, we're just dealing with nerves."

"I guess. I just feel like time has stopped moving. I mean, everyone seems to be here. And everything is ready. And the thing's still over an hour away."

"Ah, so we're getting caught up in the anticipation."

"Yeah," Meredith breathed. "Yeah, I guess that's exactly what it is. There's just so much build up, but so much time left. And so much going on. I just needed some quiet."

"Like I said, that's perfectly okay, dear. It's your wedding day. This day is about you. And whatever you need or want, it's our job to make it happen."

Meredith laughed. "You guys have all already been amazing in making all of this happen. I..." She trailed off with a sudden wave of emotion. "I still can't believe we made this happen so quickly. And I know it never would have happened without your help."

"It's what we're here for, dear."

She laughed. "Did you know that Derek says that?"

"What's that, dear?"

"The phrase; '_what I'm here for.'_ He says it all the time."

Carol laughed. "I didn't know." She sighed. "Sam used to say it. I think I must have picked it up from him."

"Derek, uh...he took me out to the...cemetery yesterday. That's where we were in the morning."

Carol's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Good. I know he hadn't been back since he left for college." She smiled at Meredith. "I'm so glad he's got you to support him now."

"Oh, it wasn't my idea..."

"I know, dear, but having you beside him is making him a stronger person. I mean he was always confident and successful, but there's something else now. He's got a new strength. And that comes from you, Meredith. He's allowing himself to be who he really is, because he has someone in his life who loves that person. And that, my dear, is exactly what marriage is about. It's about loving each other for who you are. You can't hide yourself away and you can't wish for the other person to become someone else."

Meredith nodded, her eyes welling at the realization that this was the first time she was being given any form of parental advice regarding her love life. "I think we tried to hide ourselves at first... After we got back together things were okay for a while, but they went downhill because we weren't talking..."

_How can two people be in a relationship and not talk?_

"It's good that you fixed that so soon."

_I want you to know me._

Meredith nodded. "It is. Though I don't think we had any choice. We kind of hit a wall, and it was either learn to talk, or...give up. And neither of us is willing to give up."

_Let's make this our last shot. Let's make it the chance that sticks. No giving up, no walking away, no excuses. Let's make it work this time...I have faith in you. And I have faith in us. When I told you, that when I met you I thought I was done, that I have found the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with? I still mean it. I still feel it. We got sidetracked. That's all. I still want it._

"I'm so glad to hear that," Carol said quietly. "It will make your first few years easier, now that you've already gone through that. But keep in mind that the first year or two can be difficult. A lot of couples second guess themselves. And there can be a lot of arguments. But it's worth it."

Meredith nodded. "Okay...plough on through the first few years; I'll keep that in mind."

Carol laughed. "Good."

Meredith smiled, suddenly breathing easier. Time was finally ticking by. She turned back to Carol, suddenly apprehensive. "Is there anything else I should know?"

Carol smiled reassuringly and shook her head. "I'm sure you two will be able to handle anything that comes your way."

"Thanks," Meredith responded, grateful for Carol's faith in them. "But I just meant... I've never done this before, the whole marriage thing and all...and I didn't exactly have a great role model growing up. And even if my mother was alive and actually brought herself to come out here for the wedding, I'm sure she wouldn't have anything to tell me. So, I guess what I'm saying is that...if you have any other advice or whatever, that I'm all ears, even if you think I won't need it. Because really, I probably haven't heard it..."

_How am I supposed to know that?_

_You've never done this before..._

_No, I've never done this before._

Carol raised an eyebrow and regarded her for a long moment. Her lips curled upwards into a smile. "Derek is right; you do ramble quite easily."

"I'm sorry," Meredith said quickly, closing her eyes as her cheeks reddened.

"Nothing to be sorry for." She smiled. "I'd love to tell you all that I know about love and marriage, Meredith. But I assure you that you are doing better than you seem to think. And I will _always_ be here for advice. No matter when or for what, you can always call me, dear."

_I will always show up._

"Thank-you." She swallowed hard, her throat suddenly thick and dry.

"And as for wedding day advice..." she raised an eyebrow, "...assuming you don't need wedding _night _advice..."

_I was wearing my good-looking red shirt and you took advantage... Do you want to take advantage again?_

Meredith's throat was now bone dry and her cheeks hotter than she had ever felt. She shook her head and averted her eyes. Even if she did need the advice, that was _not_ something she would ever willingly discuss with Derek's mother.

"I'd implore you to use the bathroom right before you change into your dress, and to watch your drinks at the reception. It's not a fun thing to drag a friend into the bathroom to hold your dress while you pee."

Meredith laughed. "Okay."

"And keep in mind that this day is about you and Derek and no one else. You need to say what you're feeling without worrying about any of the guests."

_I came here to say...but now all I can say is...I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you forever._

"Okay."

**"**And don't let yourself regret anything. This is a day you will remember forever, Meredith. So say what you're feeling. Smile. Dance. Do any and all of the embarrassing wedding day stuff. Pose for all the pictures. Enjoy yourself."

_You know, some people would call this a relationship..._

"Okay."

"And after today, just take it one day at a time. Marriage is hard, but it's worth it."

_If it was easy, it wouldn't be worth it._

"Right."

"You go it?"

She nodded. "I think so."

"Good. Now I only have one thing to do before we get back to all the people."

Meredith furrowed her brow. "What?"

Carol sat forward on her chair, motioning for Meredith do to the same. She opened her hand, revealing a simple, silver band. "This bracelet has been in the Shepherd family for many generations. It was given to me by my mother-in-law a few weeks before she died, with the instructions that I was to pass it on to the love of my son's life. I think traditionally it's been kept much longer, but I want you to have it now, dear."

Meredith gaped, but couldn't form words. Her eyes were welling and she knew Izzy and Nancy were going to be angry when they would have to redo her makeup. "I...can't..."

"You can. And you will. It's meant to go to you, Meredith, as a reminder of the family you have become a part of. And one day you and Derek will have a son, and you will pass it on to your own daughter-in-law."

Meredith blinked against the pool welling in her eyes. "Carol..."

Carol shifted closer and reached for her hand, gently fastening the band around her wrist. When she was finished, she laid her hand over the bracelet, gripping lightly to Meredith's arm. "I know you're not used to this, Meredith, but I want you to always remember that you have a family now. We will _always_ be here for you. Always. And we want to be a part of your life. We may be nosey and annoying, as Derek calls us, but we're here for you. And we love you."

Meredith squeezed her eyes shut at the last phrase. "I've never even heard my own mother say that to me..." She whispered.

Carol clicked her tongue. "Well, it's true. I love you, dear."

"I love you, too," she breathed. And suddenly she was crying in full and Carol's strong arms were wrapped tightly around her. Meredith had no idea how much time passed as she was rocked by Carol's gentle, soothing nature. When she finally calmed and sat up, Carol was still smiling warmly at her.

"You won't ever be alone again, Meredith."

"Thank-you," she said quietly, inhaling deeply as she wiped at her face, knowing it must be a mess.

"There's no thanks required, Meredith. Now, if you just stay put for a moment, I'll go grab my daughter and your friend, and we'll get your make-up fixed."

Meredith breathed when she was left alone, her fingers sliding over the metal of the new band set around her wrist. The smooth, cool, texture was comforting, knowing she wasn't the first to wear it. Derek's mother and grandmother had worn it. And great-grandmother. And great-great-grandmother. And who knew how many more.

Her wedding day ensemble was now complete. She had her something old.

--

"You nervous, man?"

Derek rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time. The girls had taken over the living room, in full wedding mode, so he was commanded to stay confined to the basement. Mark was proving to be a good Best Man, and had barely left his side all morning. His brothers-in-law seemed to be cycling through an alternating pattern; taking turns spending time in the basement with them.

"No, I'm still not nervous. Just like I wasn't five minutes ago."

Spencer laughed. "Sorry, man, but it's like the wedding day question."

"So I've noticed," he responded dryly.

"Anyway, I was sent to tell you that everything is still going on schedule. I think most everyone is here. And Meredith hasn't run for the hills yet."

Mark snorted at the comment, but true to his important job, had the decency to look offended for Derek.

Derek rolled his eyes. "You two are so good to me..."

"What did I do?" Mark asked.

Derek ignored him, his attention still trained on his brother-in-law. "Seriously, is she doing okay?" He knew she would be swarmed by new family members she hadn't met yet. And a small twinge of worry had settled in his gut that she wouldn't be able to handle it all. Once she had ventured back out into the world again, she had made improvement in leaps and bounds, but this was a very novel situation.

"She seems fine. Aunt Alice loved her."

Derek nodded. His mother's younger sister loved everyone. "That's good." Despite the tradition, he yearned to be upstairs, introducing her to his family. He wanted to be by her side.

Spencer paused, before continuing more seriously. "Really, man, she's doing fine. Your mom is keeping a close eye on her. She's not going anywhere."

"I'm not worried about her disappearing..."

"Good, cause you have nothing to worry about. I finally got a decent receiver in this family; I'm not letting her go without a fight."

Derek snorted. "Seriously? It's my wedding day and you're talking about football?"

His brother-in-law shrugged and offered him a goofy grin. "Priorities, man..."

"I'll have to remember to tell Anna you said that."

"On second thought..."

Derek smirked. "That's what I thought."

"There's my favourite nephew! Hiding out in the basement..."

Derek turned to see his Aunt Joyce striding towards them. He smiled and stood to greet her.

"Derek, Derek, Derek..."she shook her head. "I haven't seen you in at least three years."

"Aunt Joyce, how are you?" He asked warmly, standing to give her a quick hug.

"I'm good, Derek, but aren't I supposed to be asking you that today?"

"I don't know, are you?"

She laughed. "You never change, do you? How are you, Derek? Nervous? Excited?"

"Mostly excited. A little nervous."

"Well, that's the right ratio."

"I hope so."

"What's got you banned to the basement?"

"That would be the power of the very bossy sisters," Mark spoke up.

Derek nodded his agreement. "But it's okay. Not too much time left." He smiled. "Did you meet Meredith?"

Joyce shook her head. "No, I didn't. I think maybe the girls are staring to get ready. I did meet a bridesmaid, though. Very exuberant young woman."

"Izzy," Derek supplied. "Mer's friend and old roommate."

"Yes, well, very nice girl. And I'm sure I'll like my new niece when I meet her."

"You'll love her," Derek agreed.

She shook her head at her nephew. "You have to say that."

"That may be so, but it's also true. She's amazing." He ignored his Best man and brother-in-law, who were exchanging a look.

"I'm glad you're happy, Derek." She offered him a smile. "So...have the two of you talked about having children?"

Derek laughed. "Why, are you worried?" His mother and Joyce had been in friendly competition about the number of grandkids they had ever since the first had been born. Carol had been holding a small lead for several years, but Joyce's daughter Carly had given birth to number fourteen two months previous. The sisters were now neck and neck, tied at fourteen each.

Joyce laughed. "I just need to know how much pressure I need to start exerting on my kids, Derek...This is the closest to the lead I've been in years, ever since that sister of yours screwed me over by having twins."

He shook his head. "Nat screwed you over?" Natalie and Phil had twin six year old boys.

"Yes, I was in the lead, Derek, and in one pregnancy she knocked me back to second."

"Well, we're still talking about some stuff," Derek answered smoothly, not wanting to discuss too much with his aunt right away. "But I'm sure we won't be a threat to you for awhile at least."

"Good to hear, Derek, good to hear," she said with a laugh.

000

Silence.

Meredith stared at her reflection, oddly reminiscent of only two days prior in the bridal shop, though this time she was only contending with one reflection staring back, and not three. But still, when she moved her arm, the corresponding arm in the reflection moved as well.

The dress fit her like a dream, hugging her body from top to bottom. It was her something new. She wasn't uncomfortable in it, and was infinitely glad she had gone for simplicity. Izzy and the owner of the dress shop had tried to steer her towards a more fancy style, but she had resisted. She wanted to be beautiful for Derek, she did. But she still wanted to be the person he had fallen in love with. And the Meredith he had fallen in loved with liked simple things.

The simple silver chain Derek had given her as a congratulations for passing her intern exam almost a year before was the only thing she wore around her neck, the custom scalpel pendant hanging from it. She had been offered any number jewellery combinations and sets from Derek's family, but had again chosen to stick with what she was comfortable in. He had given her this necklace. She loved it and cherished it above any others possible. There was no other necklace she wanted to get married in. Earrings, her engagement ring and her new bracelet were the only other ornaments that graced her body. Other than the dark blue garter belt she had slipped on under her dress, of course. Her something blue.

Her hair was done up into some kind of twisted, clipped, messy, elegant, simple, up, concoction that Izzy had come up with. Tendrils hung from all over, but still kept up the illusion of being 'up.' Kathleen's shoes – her something borrowed – gave her an extra two inches of height.

Meredith shook her head slightly at her reflection.

"Everything okay?" Izzy asked, sliding over to stand next to her, looking perfect and polished and natural in her deep purple dress.

"I...think so."

"You look gorgeous, Mer," she reassured.

Meredith gazed into the mirror. She did look good. "I just hope..."

"What?"

She felt her cheeks heat slightly. "I hope he thinks so, too."

"Derek?"

"Yeah."

Izzy laughed. "Seriously, Meredith, he's going to be blown away. This may actually be a problem. You may knock the breath out of him so hard that we'll have to resuscitate him."

_No self control. It's sad, really..._

Meredith giggled, glad for the humour at least.

"I'm serious."

"Sure, Iz," she responded, sarcasm heavy in her voice."

Izzy looped an arm around her waist. "Seriously, Meredith, that man is so taken by you that you could wear a burlap bag down the aisle and he'd still think you were beautiful. You should see the way he looks at you."

"Thanks, Iz." She sighed, still staring at her reflection. "I just...never expected to see myself like this..."

_It's something...it's something really big._

"What, wearing white to your wedding?" Cristina said lightly, appearing on her other side, her outfit matching Izzy's.

"Cristina!" Izzy exclaimed, unhooking her arm from Meredith to swipe at Cristina. "That's not something you say on someone's wedding day!"

Cristina dodged her roommate's hand with a laugh. "Whatever."

"Not whatever..."

Meredith laughed as her two best friends argued back and forth around her. Her heart started to flutter, knowing the time she had once been so anxious to get through was running out. Her hand came up to her neck unbidden to wrap around the thin chain. She was getting married. Soon.

"Seriously, Mer," Cristina started, finally having pulled her attention away from Izzy, "you look good. McDreamy's gonna go all soft and mushy and all that crap."

"Thanks, Cris," she said lightly, knowing her best friend was trying her best. She breathed. "Is this really happening?"

_Tell you what, blonde-y, if you don't marry him I will._

"I think so-" Izzy cut herself off with a huff. "No. Meredith, stop," she demanded. "You're not allowed to cry again. We've already fixed your makeup once."

Meredith blinked furiously. "I'm sorry, Iz. I'm sorry. I can't...help it. God, there's no freaking way I'm going to get through the freaking ceremony. This is freaking ridiculous," she ranted.

"Ah, there's the Meredith I know and love," Cristina said quickly. "I knew she was still in there somewhere."

"Cristina, shut up. Meredith, stop crying."

Meredith laughed at Cristina's comment and Izzy's attempt to control everything. "I'm trying."

"Good." Izzy swung her arm around Meredith again, swiping at Cristina as she did so and sending her a glare in the mirror before them.

Cristina rolled her eyes, but followed suit and hooked an arm around Meredith as well. "Here, look at how good of a Maid of Honour I am, Mer. I'm hugging you."

"This isn't hugging."

"It is for me."

Meredith laughed as Izzy muttered something incoherent under her breath. "Seriously, guys, thank-you so much for being here. I...I need you both here. I couldn't get married without you."

000

Glad to be out of the basement, Derek made his way through the throngs of guests outside. He had been assured Meredith was safely hidden in the tent with Izzy and Cristina, going over last minute bride-wedding stuff. And apparently it was okay for her to see him, but not for him to see her. He didn't agree, but he wasn't going to argue with his sisters. He never won.

"Derek Shepherd," a familiar voice called from behind him. "So, you really did finally get that girl to marry you. I wasn't going to believe it until I actually saw it."

"Miranda," he greeted as he turned around.

She shook her head at him. "More than two thousand miles away from the hospital, and you're still far too cocky."

"How is that possible? I haven't done or said anything..."

"Dr. Bailey, might I comment on how lovely you're looking this afternoon?" Mark said smoothly as he appeared beside Derek. "And may I even go so far as to request you for a dance this evening?"

"You're not any better than your friend, here, Mark."

"Hey," Derek said quickly. "If anything, he's far worse than me. All I did was say your name."

"Wait," Mark cut in. "How come Derek gets to call you Miranda and you get to call me Mark, but I don't get to call you Miranda?"

"Something like that is earned, _Mark_."

He looked incredulous. "And can I ask how _you've _earned the right?"

"Hello," Derek interrupted. "Can we come back to me for just a second here?"

Mark clicked his tongue, turning to Bailey. "See, it's always about him with this guy..."

Derek swiped his hand at his Best Man. "It's my freaking wedding day. It's allowed to be about me for just a few moments today."

Mark scoffed. "Whatever, man, I have Best Man things to do. I'll catch up in a bit." And with that he was gone.

Derek shook his head and turned back to Bailey.

She smiled at him and shook her head. "Seriously, Derek, how are you holding up?"

"Good. It was quite the adventure to put this all together in less than a week, but I'm glad we did."

"And how is my resident?"

"Good, I hope," he added. "I haven't seen her since seven last night. My sisters are very strict on the whole not seeing the bride before the wedding rule."

Bailey raised an eyebrow. "Derek Shepherd actually listens to someone?"

"Very funny." He shook his head in good humour. "And I'm a little outnumbered here; four very demanding sisters, who are already converting Meredith to their side, by the way...and four brothers-in-law who are not up to the challenge of taking them on."

She laughed. "Good for them."

"Somehow I knew you were going to say that."

She paused. "I was surprised you two decided to invite the chief."

He nodded. Bailey had been there that night as well. Her feelings had been hurt, and she too had made her feelings clear many times. "Mer left it up to me. I...went back and forth for a while, but in the end...I guess if I can forgive Mark I can forgive Richard."

"You are a good man, Derek."

He raised an eyebrow. "Miranda Bailey, was that...a compliment?"

She smirked. "Yes. And that's all you get. And you only get it because it's your wedding day."

Derek laughed, his eyes catching Richard and Adele across the small field. "He led me to her, you know?" He said quietly, knowing she would understand. "If he hadn't called when he called...I never would have gone to Seattle. And no matter how hard I tried to hate him, I couldn't make myself forget that."

"Good for you."

He breathed, somehow relieved that Bailey supported his decision. There was something about the woman that made him constantly strive to gain her approval. Because if you lived your life by her moral code, you were living a good life.

"Derek!" A friendly voice cut in.

Derek smiled at Bailey's husband, their young son on his hip. "Tucker, how are you? How's your head doing these days?"

He laughed and shook Derek's hand. "Great, thanks to you."

"Tucker, what have we talked about," Bailey chastised. "Dr. Shepherd has a large enough ego already. We don't need to go inflating it further."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Thank-you both for coming," he offered. "I know it's a long way."

Miranda regarded him closely for several seconds. "You and that girl are very important to me, Derek. I wouldn't have missed this."

He smiled.

"But let me tell you something," she continued. "I will be watching you, Shepherd. So you had better treat her right. Because if you so much as step out of line..."

Derek shook his head. "Never going to happen, Miranda. I'm going to treat her how she deserves for the rest of her life."

000

The sky was calm and blue and quiet. Light, puffy clouds sat on the horizon. The sun filtered down to the green grass surrounding them, but it was not too hot. A light breeze swept across the filed often enough to keep the air comfortable and free. Gentle music was being played to serve as background ambience as the cheerful guests mingled and gradually found their seats. The entire environment was quiet and serene and calm and...clashing unbearably with her emotions.

Hidden from view of the guests and her groom, Meredith stood within the protective cover of the closest tent to the ceremony and breathed. It was taking effort to force oxygen in and out of her lungs every few seconds. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. Her mouth was dry. Her throat was tight. And she was pretty sure she was shaking. There wasn't much time left now. The last of the guests were being seated.

"You're not going to take off, are you?" The question cut through the thick air around her like a knife.

"Cristina!" Izzy chastised. "You are so the worst Maid of Honour I have ever seen."

"That's not fair. She's still here, isn't she? And I have my motivational speech ready if she tried to flee."

"You mean the stop whining speech?" Izzy scoffed.

"Hey, if I got it _from _her, doesn't that mean _she _was the worst Maid of Honour ever?"

"I was not," Meredith found herself replying. "I got you down the freaking aisle, didn't I?"

"Yes, and I'm going to return the favour."

"I'm not going to need help getting to the freaking altar."

"Uh, Mer, you are going to stop adding 'freaking' in front of every noun, right? Cause that doesn't go well in a wedding."

Meredith breathed and nodded at Izzy. "Okay, stop saying 'freaking.' I can do that. Let's go over everything else again. I wait until you two are down at the altar."

"Right."

"I walk slowly and I _don't_ fall on my face." The catering team had laid down a thin carpet, but the floor beneath it was still grass, and therefore not altogether flat. She was now grateful part of her party the night before had included being dragged down the hill in the dark to walk around in her shoes. She had rolled her eyes at Natalie's insistence, but had gone along with it, thinking it was just a fun, traditional thing that people did before they got married. But she had been infinitely glad for the insistence when she had first stepped onto the uneven grass in her heels; it wasn't as easy as she had expected.

"Right; falling is bad. Just go slow."

"Okay. No falling. And when I get there I give Cristina my flowers."

"Sure, make Cristina do all the work..."

"Shut up," Izzy ordered before turning back to Meredith. "And Cristina has your vows. And I have Kleenex, just in case."

Meredith breathed. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. "Okay. And you're going to hit me if I start to ramble, right?" She turned an expectant eye to Cristina.

"Of course, that's my favourite responsibility as Main of Honour; hit the bride when she gets too talky."

"You're not going to ramble, Mer," Izzy reassured.

"Oh, come on, Iz. I ramble all the freaking time. And I don't want to get up there and be completely incoherent. Derek deserves a coherent...girlfriend, fiancée...wife..." She swallowed hard. "...Whatever for once. He deserves for me to be beautiful and graceful and coherent."

"Well, the beautiful seems to be working for you today, but the graceful and the coherent..."

"Cristina!" Izzy exclaimed again. "Can you please stop? She's freaking out enough as it is."

"I am not freaking out."

"You're shaking." She pointed out.

"I'm nervous...and scared...and...nervous...but I'm not freaking out. I'm going to do this. I _want_ to do this. I love him. He loves me. We're getting married. It's simple, right?"

"Exactly."

Even Cristina seemed to recognize something in her tone and nodded. "Simple as that."

Meredith inhaled deeply. "I can do this."

"You can."

"I mean, I know I can do this, but..." She trailed off and nodded to herself, trying to instill confidence. "I can do this well. I can do it without falling. And without rambling. And without saying 'freaking.' And without...doing a host of other things associated with, well, me."

Silence.

"Guys! You're supposed to agree with me."

"We will if you want us to lie."

"It's okay if you do some of them...in moderation. No one will care," Izzy placated, obviously not confident in Meredith's abilities to get through the ceremony without any incidence.

Meredith groaned and buried her face in her hands.

"No. Don't do that. You'll ruin your make-up again." Izzy pulled her hands away and held them firmly. "Mer, you really are shaking."

"No, I'm not," she said meekly.

"Oh, you so are. Are you sure you don't want anyone to walk you? That way you'd at least have someone to keep you calm...and make sure you don't fall. I can get George. I'm sure he'd love to do it."

Meredith shook her head. "No, I'm going to do it by myself. I _want_ to do it by myself. It's...symbolic, or whatever. I am an independent woman. I've gotten this far in life on my own. And I can surely walk the next forty feet by myself, thank-you very much."

"Are you sure you don't want me to get George?"

Cristina scoffed. "Seriously, Iz, you think it would be appropriate for the Bride to get walked down the aisle by the last guy she slept with before the Groom?"

"Crap. I forgot about that. But, come on, if the Best Man slept with the last Bride, the new Bride can get walked down the aisle with someone she slept with..."

"We are not having this discussion..." Meredith mumbled.

Izzy sighed. "Fine, how about Alex? He'd do it for you, Mer. You guys have the weird, sibling-y, understating thing going on. Can I go get him?"

"No, Iz. I'm fine by myself."

"Well, what about...Joe? That would be good. He's practically your therapist with the amount of time you've spent ranting about McDreamy at the bar...and he was there at the beginning...and-"

"Iz, what are you trying to do, pimp her out?"

"Excuse me, pimp her out? It's her freaking wedding day. I'm trying to help."

"Well, it's obviously not working."

"Stop!" Meredith exclaimed. "Seriously, I love you, but you two are going to make me crazy. We're out of time. I will walk by myself, because I want to. I will be fine. I will...I really think I will. And you will stop me if I ramble. And you have the vows and the Kleenex... I'll be fine..."

"Right, you'll be fine," Izzy said brightly.

There was a rustling as the canvas flap was pulled back. Kathleen appeared, shepherding three small children in front of her. "Hey, I'm just dropping off the rest of your wedding party. We're going to start soon if you're ready."

Meredith nodded. "I'm...ready. I think."

Kathleen offered her imminent sister-in-law a warm smile. "Trust me, Mer, that means you're ready. The 'I think' part doesn't go away until you're down there."

"Okay. Okay, thanks."

"You look beautiful."

"Thanks."

Kathleen nodded and left.

"You do look beautiful, Aunt Meredith," Stephanie said with a grin.

Megan nodded her agreement.

"Thanks, girls." Meredith plastered what she hoped to be an easy smile on her face. She definitely didn't need to be freaking out in front of the kids. "And I'm so glad you two are flower girls," she added.

They both beamed. Their older sister, Caitlyn and most of their cousins had been flower girls before, but this was their first time. They were both excited.

"I think you look bute-ful too," Spencer spoke up, looking absolutely adorable in his small black jacket, his unruly, light brown hair combed to keep it as neat as possible.

Meredith couldn't help but smile at the small boy; the second youngest of the grandkids. "Thanks, Spency. And thank-you for doing such an important job today."

He nodded emphatically. "I have the rings!" He exclaimed, patting his jacket pocket.

"He's so cute," Izzy whispered behind her.

The music started to play, signalling it was time. Everything was ready.

"You two are going to be behind me, right?" Izzy asked, only a hint of suspicion in her voice, as she motioned for the kids to exit the tent first. She would send them down the aisle and then follow.

"Yup, right behind you," Cristina said quickly. "The faster we get down there, the faster this whole thing is over and I can take off my freaking shoes."

Meredith closed her eyes as Izzy disappeared through the curtained doorway from the tent, and was surprised when a hand wrapped around her wrist, gripping tightly. She opened her eyes to see Cristina staring intently at her.

"Okay, Grey, we have like less than a minute here. So...listen up. And keep in mind that none of this is to be portrayed as me being the least but touchy-feely. You will be fine. Because we, you and me, can do stuff like this, okay? You will walk down that aisle behind me on steady feet and get married to your McDreamy."

"I know."

"Good. And whatever 'Meredith' thing you do, don't worry about it. Because Shepherd loves you. He loves _you_. Not the person he wants you to be, like Burke did, but _you_. And that is so painfully obvious to anyone who sees him. So, if you trip or stutter or ramble or fall or say the wrong thing or...whatever...don't worry about it, because all of those traits and tendencies are things he's fallen in love with. Okay?"

Meredith nodded, taken aback by Cristina's words, and surprised by just how much she needed to hear them. Izzy was an amazing friend, and she had done so much for Meredith in preparing for this wedding and in every other aspect of her life in the past two years. But there was still that special understanding that Meredith shared with Cristina. Her best friend always came through when Meredith needed her to. And she always knew the right thing to say. "Okay."

"Good. Now, let's do this thing. If I don't see you behind me when I get up there, I'm going to come back here and drag you by your heels."

Meredith laughed, expelling some tension as she did so. It felt good. "There won't be any need for that."

"Good. I'll see you up there."

She disappeared too.

Meredith was alone. She breathed, deep and even, her nerves anxiously anticipating what was to come. She was ready. She was ready. She was ready. She was.

_I'll see you tomorrow..._

_I'll be waiting..._

She, Meredith Grey, was ready to get married to the guy of her dreams. Suddenly all of the effort Ellis had put into teaching her daughter to stay far away from forming personal attachments faded into the background. Meredith had overcome her upbringing. She didn't need her best friend to prove people like them could get their happy endings; she was going to prove it herself. She was going to be happy. She and Derek were going to spend the rest of their lives together. That was all that mattered now.

_So, we're kissing, but we're not dating?_

_It's intense..._

_Now who's chasing._

_I've been in love with you...forever._

_I'll always show up._

_It's what I'm here for._

_Marry me._

With a last, deep breath, she lifted the curtain back and stepped out, a wave of calm rushing over her now that she was actually making a move to do something. She turned towards the mass of people, but she didn't see any of them.

She didn't see the relieved look on Izzy and Cristina's faces; the only thing they had agreed on all day.

She didn't see the supportive looks from the rest of her Seattle family.

She didn't see the warm smiles from her new family.

She didn't see the encouraging smirk on Mark's face.

All she saw was Derek.

They locked eyes and suddenly she was moving forward without any conscious input. She didn't notice the bumps in the ground that Cristina had tripped on. She didn't pay attention to her speed. She didn't notice the flashes from the cameras as she made her way down the aisle. All she saw was Derek. His brilliant, shining blue eyes were holding hers hostage.

At this moment, she lived and breathed for him. And at this moment she just needed to get to him. At this moment she only had a few moments left before she was his wife.

--

Derek's breath caught in his throat as Meredith stepped out of the tent. She looked...well, there didn't seem to exist an adjective strong enough to describe her. She was breath-taking. Beautiful. Elegant. Perfect. _His_.

She was absolutely perfect. And it was all he could do to breathe.

Izzy had exited the tent first, and after she had sent the three bouncing children towards him, had made easy work of walking down the aisle. And her expression had only given away a small glimmer of worry as she shot him an encouraging smile. The pause between her reaching the altar and Cristina appearing to begin her march was a little longer than expected. Just long enough for Mark to step forward and whisper something comforting to Derek and mention the flask he was keeping in his coat pocket.

But Cristina had stepped out and made her way down the aisle, only stumbling once. And there wasn't a hint of worry in her eyes. She knew Meredith was behind her. Derek drew confidence from that.

With barely a pause, Meredith was stepping out of the tent, and the past two years had come flooding back to Derek in one strong wave. After everything they had been through, they were finally here.

_Stop looking at me like that...like you've seen me naked._

_I'm drawing a line._

_Take me for a ride, Derek._

_I know this place where there's an amazing view of sunrise over the ferry boats._

_I want to let you in._

_You make me happy._

_Yes._

Looking absolutely stunning in her white dress, Meredith turned towards him. And the very moment their eyes met, Derek was lost. The rest of the world disappeared. Nothing existed but her. She was everything. She was beautiful. And breathtaking. And miraculously simple. And..._his_. His heart was pounding and his stomach was fluttering and his hands were shaking and his throat was dry, but he didn't even notice.

She made her way down the aisle towards him with ease; but he wouldn't have noticed if she had tripped. Her green eyes seemed to go on forever, drawing him in so deep he felt like he was touching her. When she was still steps away, he found himself unable to wait another second to touch her. He was drawn towards her, stepping off the altar to reach for her hand.

And for a moment, everything around them stopped, capturing them in a bubble of time and space where they was only a here and a now. Their fingers intertwined and their eyes continued to be locked on each other's; connecting them on two completely separate levels.

Derek breathed, a smile lifting his lips. "You look...beautiful."

Her eyes shone brighter and she returned his smile. "You don't look too bad yourself..."

The world around them came into focus again, pulling them from their bubble. He lovingly led her the last few steps to the altar. Cristina stepped forward to pull the small bouquet of purple and white flowers from Meredith's hands.

Derek smiled when he caught a whiff of lavender.

When her flower hand was free, Derek reached for it, and together they held heir hands between them, a mess of intertwined digits. Their officiator, a long time friend of Carol's, Tom, offered them each a supportive smile before he began.

"We are gathered here today, on this beautiful property that holds so many special memories, in front of the very closest of friends and family to celebrate the love between two very special people..."

Derek knew he should be paying attention to the words being spoken. He knew he should be hanging off each statement. He knew it was important. At his first wedding he had repeated each statement in his head in an effort to simply stay afloat during the ceremony. But Meredith had saved him so long ago that he was in no danger of sinking now.

His mind, all of his neural power, was focussed on her. Only her.

_It's not the thrill of the chase. It's not a game. It's your tiny, ineffectual fists. And your hair...it smells good. And you're very, very bossy. It keeps me in line._

_I'm still not going out with you._

_You say that now..._

"...And now we will listen to Derek and Meredith read their own vows to each other..."

Derek was pulled out of his trance not by the sound of his name, but at the sound of hers.

"...And it has been requested that Derek speak first. So, Derek, if you're ready."

Derek blinked, trying to remember if he knew why he was speaking first, trying to remember if there was a reason. He couldn't pull forth a memory, but that didn't mean it wasn't there. It was already taking huge amounts of strength to amalgamate his neural processes to form coherent thoughts, let alone with-call memories.

He nodded and dropped her hands to reach into his inner pocket for his notes, but half-way there he stopped and re-took her hands. He sincerely doubted he could read right now.

"Meredith," he began, pleasantly surprised to discover his power of speech was still in tact. "When I first sat down to write these words, I thought it would be easy. I love you so much, and I have never been as happy as you have made me since you first came into my life. There are so many things I want to tell you, to say to you, but I quickly realized nothing I could possibly say would do my feelings any justice." He reached a hand up to tenderly cup her cheek.

_It's intense..._

"I wish, even for just a moment, that you could see you the way I see you," he whispered. "Because the view from over here is amazing." Her eyes welled and her face gave in to his gentle touch, leaning against his hand. "_You_ are amazing. I've hurt you and I've left you, but you are the strongest, most forgiving person I have ever met. You have saved me more than once. You have helped me to discover who I really am, what my dreams really are. You have supported me and given me balance. You've given me joy. You've made me understand what it is to be a partner. Just being with you has made me into a better person..." He swallowed hard, his emotions creeping up his throat and threatening to block it completely. Tears found their way to his eyes, but he did nothing to hold them back.

_I can't be the reason you gave up your dream._

_You're not. You're the reason I have a dream._

"I've wanted to be a lot of things in the past, but all I want now, Meredith, is to spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you make me. Because you deserve the world. And I've never been so looking forward to the rest of my life before. I can't wait to go home and watch as our house is built. I want to start a family and build a home with you, Meredith. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and die in your arms when I'm a hundred and ten." He paused and inhaled a shaky breath, his eyes tearing at the sight of her moist ones.

_I don't want to be separate from anything in your life..._

"A long time ago I told you that I have there moments where I just know what's going to happen next. And most of the time they happen in the OR, but right now... Right now I _know_ that you are the person I'm meant to be with. I _know_ we're going to be happy. And I _know_ I love you more than anything else in the world."

--

Meredith sniffed as his hand moved from her cheek to wipe the moisture from below her eyes when he finished saying all of those perfect things. He always did have a way of being so damned poetic when he wanted to. And that combined with his compelling, deep blue eyes had completely destroyed her resolution to not cry during the ceremony, or at least until she had finished speaking her vows.

"Meredith, are you ready?" Tom prompted quietly.

She nodded stiffly. "Yeah, I...yeah." She offered Derek a watery smile. "I'm kind of wishing I hadn't requested that you go first; that's kind of a hard act to follow."

The sea of guests laughed at her comment, putting Meredith somewhat more at ease. Something was pressed into the hand she was resting at her side. She closed her fingers and discovered Cristina had passed her the cue cards with her vows. Along with a Kleenex. She made good use of the Kleenex, but kept the cards wrapped in a tight fist as she reached for Derek's hands, needing some of his strength to say the things she needed to say.

"I wasn't raised in a world with happily ever afters and love and family. I was raised to believe only in science, to never depend on anyone, and to never, ever let anyone in." She blinked as a new wave of tears flooded her eyes. "But being with you has shown me time and time again that I was raised wrong. Because, Derek, I love you. And I believe in _us_. I believe that you love me and that I can depend on you, just as you can depend on me. And letting you in was the best decision I have ever made."

_And I would tell my mother it's not a mistake._

"You said that I've saved you, but you have, quite literally, saved me. You've breathed for me when necessary, and you've breathed with me when I've needed help. And you've always been there for me when I needed you the most."

_I'll come. I'll be your wingman._

She swallowed hard, tears freely streaming down her cheeks. "Almost two years ago I was all alone and you butted into my life. And you refused to be pushed out, no matter how hard I tried or how many lines I drew."

_I'm drawing a line. The line is drawn. There's a big...line._

_So this line...is it imaginary, or do I need to get you a marker?_

"And you broke through so many walls I thought were impenetrable to the world. Derek, you've pushed me to do so many things I would have missed out on. I mean, look at us now... I was never the girl who dreamed of getting married, but you have proved to me just how wrong so many of my perceptions were."

_I'm just a guy in a bar._

"There is more to life than career. And I want that with you. I want to marry you, Derek Shepherd, and spend the rest of my life with you. And I want work to come second. Because you are not _just_ a guy; you are _the_ guy. And I love you Derek. You were the first person I ever said that to and you have made me believe that we can be happy, that I am capable of something resembling a happily ever after. You have made my life so much better...so extraordinary. And because I went second," she started, forcing her tears to stay for just a moment. She had been preparing for this all week. He had beaten her far too many times lately. And she was going to win now. "I get the last word, so Derek Shepherd, I love you _more_."

He laughed through his tears at her final words and gently shook his head. "You never give up, do you?" He whispered.

She smirked. "Nope, and I'm always right."

"Not yet."

"But so close." Meredith breathed sharply, realizing this was the last time they would banter this particular topic. She returned her unused cards to Cristina, having only strayed a little, and proud to have kept her rambling to a moderate amount.

"Can we have the rings, please?" Tom asked.

With only a small push in the right direction from his Uncle Mark, Spencer stepped forward with the small bag holding the rings, a huge grin plastered across his face at his ever important task.

Meredith smiled as Derek's ring was passed into her safe keeping; and his into hers.

"Derek, do you take Meredith to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

Meredith felt her breath catch as his face melted into the McDreamy smile that made her knees weak. "I do," he said, his voice soft and reverent. There were no hints of hesitation. She felt her heart swell and pound against her chest wall as he reached for her hand and tenderly slid the wedding ring onto her finger, right next to her engagement ring, without breaking eye contact. He squeezed her hand before releasing it.

"And Meredith, do you take Derek to be you lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

She swallowed hard and nodded. Derek's eyes were holding hers hostage again. "I do," she whispered. _I really, really freaking do!_ Her hands were shaking as she grasped his left hand and slowly slid the simple, platinum band onto his finger. And when she was finished she couldn't bring herself to let go of his hand. Gripping tightly, in anticipation for what was about to come, she realized that she wasn't the only one with trembling hands. He was a world class neurosurgeon; one of the best in the country. He operated on extremely delicate nervous tissue, requiring precision work that only a handful of people were capable of. He had to have steady hands. And yet, here he was, with shaky hands, clutching to her without any surgical motor control. He wasn't a surgeon right now. Work came second for them.

"Then, by the power invested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

For a moment, Meredith swore she didn't breathe. Her heart didn't beat. Her entire body stopped. For just a moment she was frozen, caught in the rip tide, before a wave of warmth and happiness and relief washed over her, almost knocking her off her feet. This was it. They had done it. They had gotten married.

They were married.

He was her husband.

She swallowed hard. She was his wife.

"Wow..." she whispered. He smiled warmly back at her, his eyes sparkling like she had never seen before.

"You can kiss your bride," Tom added.

Derek didn't waste any time in stepping forward, his fingers reaching for her waist like they had so many times before. But this time was so very different. She ran her hands up his chest; one clutching around his shoulder and one burying itself in his hair. His hands found the small of her back and he supported her as he pressed closer, dipping her back. Her lips were curled upwards, almost in a smile, when his crashed down onto them. And she lost herself in the rip tide again as wave after wave after wave of happiness and joy and Derek washed over her. It was their first kiss as husband and wife.

--

When Derek finally came up for air, he pressed his forehead against hers, shuddering as he struggled to regain some semblance of control over his body. "I love you so much," he whispered.

"I love you more."

He groaned.

"And I'm always right now, so you can't argue."

He laughed and stood upright, bringing his wife up with him, not willing to allow any space to accumulate between them. He pressed his lips against her forehead and her cheeks and her lips again. "I have never been so happy as I am right now," he admitted.

"Me neither," she agreed as she hooked her wrist through the crook of his elbow and let him lead her back up the aisle she had walked down alone only a half hour before. She wasn't alone anymore.

--

With a raised eyebrow and a smirk, Mark held out both elbows to the Maid of Honour and the Bridesmaid. "Ladies."

Izzy rolled her eyes, but silently took an offered elbow. Cristina mumbled something colourful under breath before doing the same.

"What a promising day; I'm finding myself so full of _hope_ and _expectation_."

Izzy raised an eyebrow at his words, surprise etched across her face. "Actually admitting to be affected by the ceremony, Dr. Sloan?" She asked, tear tracks staining her cheeks. She had definitely been affected.

Mark turned to her with a characteristic McSteamy grin. "Nope, just liking my odds here...two beautiful women in the bridal party...and me..."

Izzy scoffed and pulled her arm away, quickly followed by Cristina. They were half-way down the aisle, so Izzy hooked her arm through Cristina's and powered down the last few steps, leaving Mark to walk with the kids.

_**AN: Okay, so I have failed miserably in my valiant attempt to keep the entire wedding day in one chapter. I wanted to have the wedding and the reception together, but for one things, hello freaking long chapter that would put the others to shame (and I'm certain there is a chapter length limit out there) and the second thing, I kind of think the wedding itself needs to be separate. This allows me to take my time and not worry about the length of the reception.**_

_**I'd also like to seriously thank everyone who commented about Meredith walking down the aisle. I seriously considered George, Alex and both, but in the end, I went with my gut. Because I really do believe she would walk by herself. She got this far by herself, she wouldn't need someone to lead her the last few feet to the rest of her life. (Symbolism and whatnot...lol). **_

_**Thanks for reading! **_


	10. FIESTA

**FIESTA**

'_Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.'  
-- Lao Tzu_

**- Saturday Part 2 -**

Meredith leaned against her new husband as she posed for photograph number X in an infinite line-up of combinations. Seriously, they had around fifty guests. She had taken finite in high school and statistics in college; and she was certain they had taken more photo combinations than there were permutations possible.

The photo shoot had been delayed for several minutes after the ceremony as she had been whisked into the house for a third make-up application. Apparently tear stains didn't make for good wedding photos. How they had expected her to not cry during the ceremony, though, she had no idea. She had barely gotten through the first few moments with dry eyes, and even then they weren't exactly dry; they were moist, but not leaking. And he had only had to say a few sentences to her before they welled and tears began to spill over her lower lids.

_I wish, even for just a moment, that you could see you the way I see you; because the view from over here is amazing._

And the most amazing thing was that her husband – husband! - actually saw her in that light. She had no doubt that in his eyes, she was something special. So, her eyes had welled at his perfect, poetic words. And her knees had weakened, and her heart had fluttered. And then the tears had streamed down her cheeks, unsympathetic to the pristine makeup her friend and sister-in-law had taken such care to apply...twice.

Derek had gone alone with all of the photo combinations, and Meredith had simply followed his lead, still caught up in the whole being somebody's wife thing. She felt like she was floating. The smiles and the congratulations and the new faces Derek was introducing her to seemed to be meshing into one big glob of 'other people.' There was her and Derek, and there was everyone else. She felt like the only thing keeping her grounded was his fingers tightly gripping to hers. Or the feel of his hand on the small of her back. Or his shoulder against hers. Or his lips on hers. Or...anything, really. Any contact with him of any kind.

Spencer's photo team and the Shepherd sister 'we know everything' team were having a disagreement about a group combination. Or placement. Or background. Or...something. Meredith couldn't be sure of what they were arguing about, but she could be sure that whatever it was, she didn't care. They had spent at least an hour in front of the camera already. The short break was a welcome relief.

She and Derek hadn't even had a moment alone yet. But they seemed to have been gifted with a few moments of peace from the constant 'smile, smile, smile for the camera,' and were going to take advantage of it.

"Hey," she whispered, turning to face her new husband.

"Hey," he responded with a gentle smile, his hands seeking out hers.

"We're married," she whispered reverently. _Married._ It was a wonderful word, currently on repeat in her head. Married. Married. Married...

His smile took her breath away. "We are."

"That's...wow. I can't even...wow..."

"I know the feeling." He dipped his head to rest his forehead against hers.

She leaned into the pressure and sighed. "You made me cry," she accused lightly.

He chuckled. "So did you."

"I'm proud of myself."

"For making me cry?" He pulled back a few inches and lifted an eyebrow.

Meredith giggled. "No. I'm proud of myself for getting through the whole thing without doing anything...Meredith-y."

"Meredith-y?" His eyebrow remained arched.

She nodded emphatically. "I didn't fall, or even trip or stumble or whatever. I didn't say anything stupid. Hell, I barely rambled."

He smirked and leaned in to kiss her. "I like it when you ramble; more rambling I say."

She smiled and rested her forehead against his chin, inhaling the familiar, comforting scent that always wafted towards her from his neck. His assurances served so well to confirm Cristina's earlier words. He really did love her for her; and that included all of her quirks.

"So," he ventured, his hands dropping hers to reach around her middle, seeking out the small of her back. She followed suit, her hands running up, along his chest to his shoulders. "You just had to get the last word, huh?"

Meredith laughed, her hands moving forward to hook around his neck, and pulled her forehead away from him, leaning back in his arms, fully trusting him to hold onto her. "I thought you'd like that."

He scoffed, but his eyes sparkled. "You cheated; it doesn't count."

"I did not...and it does too. And now, I'm always right, so you can't argue."

His eyes still sparkled; foiling his attempt to glare at her. "I love you," he whispered.

She laughed. "I love you, too."

His arms tightened around her and he gently swayed them side to side. "You're my wife."

Meredith beamed. "And you're my husband."

The corners of his lips curled upwards. "I think I kind of like the sound of that..."

"I definitely like the sound of that." She pulled herself closer to press her lips against his for a moment. "We're married..."

"You already said that," he stated, tenderly pulling her closer still, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"I know, but I still can't believe it."

He shifted and his lips pressed down against her clavicle; soft and light. "Me neither."

She sighed as his chin returned to her shoulder and leaned her head against his, revelling in the feeling of being in his arms; in her _husband's_ arms. They continued to sway back and forth for several minutes, oblivious to the fact that most of the guests were watching, and that Spencer had had his camera trained on them the entire time, ignoring his wife and her sisters as they argued with the rest of his photo team.

000

Soft, upbeat music played in the background as the catering staff stocked a table with hors d'oeuvres and the wedding guests wandered and mingled in and around the large dinner tent. The tables were already set and ready for dinner, which wouldn't be served for at least another hour yet. A large portion of the space under the tent was cleared to act as a dance floor, but the only guests making any use of it so far were the kids; dancing and jumping and cart-wheeling excitedly in their fancy clothes, to the disdain of their parents.

Her friends and his family mingled comfortably together, most likely swapping embarrassing stories to use against the happy couple in the future. Izzy wandered the swarms of people, gripping tightly to her camera.

Exceedingly grateful the posed, formal photography part of the day was finished, Meredith had finally felt capable of remaining grounded without Derek by her side and had wandered to the food table, eager to answer the demands being put forth by her stomach. The butterflies that had taken up residence inside of her hours before had prevented her from having much of a breakfast. She had just popped a chunk of pineapple into her mouth when a quiet form appeared beside her.

"Hey," Lexie said softly.

Meredith cringed as the sweet fruit wreaked havoc on her taste buds. "Hey," she finally managed in an awkward, stilted voice. Her half-sister gave her a questioning look. Meredith swallowed hard. "Sorry. Pineapple. Too sweet..." She shook her head.

Lexie offered her a smile. "I just wanted to say congratulations."

"Thanks, Lexie."

"It was really...beautiful. The ceremony, I mean. And you look really beautiful. And I just...I wanted to thank-you for inviting me out here. To be here, for your wedding. It means a lot."

Meredith couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips. "Wow, it's times like these that I'm reminded that we're related."

"What, the rambling?"

Meredith nodded.

"Yeah, I've noticed that you do it, too. I try not to..."

"Me too..."

Lexie laughed. "Seriously, though, congratulations."

"Thanks."

Derek appeared beside her, his strong arm wrapping around her waist in one smooth, practiced movement. "Hi, Lexie, I haven't seen much of you today." The young Grey had kept mostly to herself, uncertain of her place in the family.

"Oh, hi, Dr. Shepherd...Congratulations."

He smiled warmly at her. "Thanks, but I think that now that I'm your brother-in-law, you can call me Derek."

Lexie started, her cheeks blushing slightly. "I don't know if I..." She trailed off to his look and nodded. "I'll try...Derek."

"See, that wasn't so hard."

"I guess not. It's just...you're my boss."

"He's all of ours boss," Cristina stated as she appeared at the table, also seeking food. She had, as she had claimed she would, ditched her shoes at first opportunity and was happily wandering the reception barefoot, heedless of the grass and questioning glances from the other guests. Izzy had scoffed at it, but Meredith had to admit it was a tempting idea. She'd keep her shoes for now, and revisit the idea later. "So long as you keep it professional at work, you're in the clear," she told her intern absently as she grabbed a small plate and began to pile it with food.

"Does this mean you're going to let her call you Cristina out of the hospital?" Meredith asked with a raised eyebrow.

Cristina looked up, her hand stretched towards a plate of small sandwiches and met her eyes. She sighed and shifted her gaze to Lexie and then back to Meredith. "I suppose I could do that." She turned her eyes back to her intern, narrowed and harsh. "Under the condition that you tell no one."

Lexie looked wide-eyed and flustered as she nodded and made a hasty escape from the area around the table. Cristina shrugged as she disappeared.

Meredith laughed and pulled closer to Derek as she reached out for a strawberry this time. "You may not want to fill up now, Cris," she warned. "We'll have real food in like an hour and a half."

Her Maid of Honour shrugged. "I'll be ready."

She shrugged and glanced at Derek, who simply laughed at her. "What?"

He shook his head. "It's just...you're laughing at her for eating so much, and yet you could probably eat her under the table without trying."

She pulled out of his embrace, elbowing him not-so-gently in the stomach in the process, and glared at him. "That's not tr..." She trailed off, knowing he had a point. "Nice," she finished weakly.

Derek didn't let the space accumulate between them for very long, stepping forward to close the gap and wrap his arms around her again. "Not nice," he relented, "But true."

She grumbled something unintelligible into his chest, but gave into his body and wrapped her arms around his waist. Married. Married. Married. The mantra started again, round and round her head. He was her husband now. He loved her. She loved him. She would never be alone again; he promised he would always be there, and she believed him.

"Derek, congratulations, again," a warm voice called from behind her as a form approached them. Meredith brought herself to pull away from his warmth in time to turn to meet the friendly smile of Derek's aunt. She had only met the woman briefly during picture time, but hadn't exchanged more than a few words. They had been 'advised' not too 'socialize' during photos.

"Thanks, Aunt Joyce," he answered smoothly, stepping away from Meredith to hug his mother's older sister.

"And you too, Meredith," she continued as Derek pulled away. She stepped forward and pulled Meredith into a tight hug, to which Meredith reciprocated easily; she had had lots of practice with the hugging thing from Derek's family. After growing up with a mother who disdained all physical contact, Meredith had never thought she would be capable of, or inviting towards, the kind of familial affection Derek's family was showing her.

"Thank-you."

Joyce pulled back and smiled at her new niece. "And welcome to the family...though you're obviously already an important part of it. Though my wayward nephew, here, has kept you away from me until now..."

Derek scoffed beside her as Meredith laughed. "Wayward nephew?" He asked, sarcasm heavy in his voice. "How do you figure? And this is only the second time we've even been out here. It's not my fault you haven't met her until now."

Joyce made to retort, but was cut off.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd!" Carol exclaimed as she stormed towards them, Tucker and Bailey on her heels. Tucker looked concerned, while Bailey looked almost gleeful

Meredith turned to Derek with amused smile. "What did you do now?"

"I have no idea."

--

"Mom," Derek greeted as his mother came to a stop in front of him. He cringed as he received the full blown 'I cannot believe you' motherly look that Carol had perfected with her five children. He shifted his eyes to Tucker and Bailey, searching for an explanation. When none presented itself, he unconsciously pulled Meredith a little closer, as if to remind his mother that he had just given her a fifth daughter, and to go easy on him today.

"Tucker here was just informing me that he was in a car accident on his way to the hospital the day that this little guy was born," Carol said, motioning towards the small boy in Tucker's arms. "And that you saved his life."

Derek nodded hesitantly. "Yes, that's right." He shifted his eyes between his mother and Tucker, wondering why that little tidbit of information was causing his mother to react like that. He saved lives. It was in his job description; he was a surgeon. And saving lives was a _good_ thing; not a cause for this kind of reaction.

"He also mentioned that you braved a bomb scare to do so and refused to evacuate the OR."

He shut his eyes and winced as the realization of why she was angry washed over him. "Yeah, about that..." He stumbled over his words. Beside him, Meredith pulled herself a little closer.

"And it's funny," Carol continued, "Because I can distinctly remember seeing the bomb scare at Seattle Grace on the news and going out of my mind trying to get a hold of my son, only to have him _assure_ me that he had been far away from the bomb the entire time. So, unless this is a separate incident that I hadn't heard about, you have some explaining to do."

Beside him, Meredith laughed and reached behind herself for his hand, leaving him to fend for himself. She had been there too, but she wasn't about to share that information. He stuttered slightly, now understanding the expressions on Tucker and Bailey's faces. Tucker was sorry to get him in trouble. Miranda was gleeful to see him brought down a peg or two by his mother. He sighed. "I'm sorry, mom, but by the time you got a hold of me, everything was over. And I didn't think you needed the added stress."

"I'm a mother, Derek. Stress comes with the job. But you lied to me, and I taught you better than that."

"I didn't _lie..._ I was still in the OR when the bomb went off, and it didn't affect us at all." He said, hopeful his mother would accept that. He was wrong. Very wrong.

"You mean to tell me that you were still there when the bomb went off? And you still didn't tell me?"

He flinched, glancing at the spectators his mother had managed to amass. Somehow all of his sisters were in range to hear his lecture. They always had a way of doing so. "Mom, can we maybe not do this now?"

She shook her head at him, not angry, per say, but definitely needing to make her point heard. "It was a _bomb_, Derek. Who is that stupid to stay around a live bomb? I didn't raise a stupid son."

"First of all, I had a very important patient with an open skull flap," he motioned at Tucker, "who would have died if I had closed him up at that point..."

"And second, Mer and I were _that stupid, _too." Cristina cut in with a nonchalant shrug, chewing on a bite of her second mini sandwich. "Mer being the stupidest, of course."

"Ah, thanks for bringing me into this," Meredith shot back at her best friend. Another story to add to the vast number Carol, and the rest of the Shepherd family, had heard already.

Derek almost felt relieved when his mother's critical gaze shifted towards his wife. "What made you the stupidest?" Carol asked. Derek almost laughed when Bailey smirked again, clearly enjoying this.

Meredith stuttered. "I...I wasn't stupid...really..."

Bailey clicked her tongue at her previous intern. "Grey, how can you possibly think that what you did wasn't the stupidest thing I have ever heard of?"

"I was trying to save the patient... And I did save the freaking patient! That wasn't stupid; it was what _you_ trained us to do..."

"What did she do?" Carol questioned. The mood had definitely lightened, but Carol still wanted answers.

"Well, staying on the floor with the bomb is one thing," Cristina said with a shrug. "But Meredith took it upon herself to stick her hand into the patient's chest and put her hand _on_ the bomb."

"Hannah was freaking out. Someone had to do something," Meredith countered, turning to her mother-in-law to quickly fill her in on the happenings of that day.

When Meredith was finished, and Carol was shaking her head at her, Bailey laughed and placed a hand on Carol's arm. "These two fools get into their fare share of trouble, but don't worry yourself too much, we keep an eye on them."

"So I've heard," Carol responded with a wry smile.

"Did your son tell you about the patient with the toxic blood and his actions on that day?"

"Oh, come on," Derek tried, but it was no use. Bailey was already leading his mother away from them, clearly intent on retelling every stupid thing he had done in the past two years. He turned to Meredith and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close against him. "You know, I'm starting to rethink having invited her..."

Meredith giggled into his chest, causing him to laugh out loud at the situation. He was a grown man, at his own wedding, being lectured by his mother for something that happened over a year before. But Meredith was his wife, and she was giggling, and that made everything seem so much better. His mother could rant, and Bailey could give her all the ammo she had, but it wouldn't wipe the smile of Derek's face. Because he had Meredith by his side.

000

Dinner had been delicious, especially for a caterer they had only booked five days earlier. The rest of the mingling time had gone by rather smoothly. Derek hadn't been accosted by his mother again, yet. And Meredith had found the more distant family of his with whom she was being introduced to be just as friendly and inviting as his immediate family.

Their head table was at the edge of the floor, with Derek and Meredith facing the rest of the guests. Mark, Cristina, Izzy, George, Alex and Lexie sat with them. Carol, Joyce and her husband, Alice and her husband, Abby, and Bailey and Tucker sat to their right. All four sisters and brothers-in-law sat directly to their left. The kids took up two tables, at the back, and the rest of their family and friends were scattered through two tables in the middle.

Tables were being cleared and the guests were starting to look towards the head table with interest.

Meredith took a sip of her wine and leaned into Derek's shoulder. Married. Married. Married. "What do we do now?" The last wedding she could remember going to, she had been in high school.

He smiled warmly at her. "I think it's time for the speeches."

She felt her stomach flutter. She had already made it through the ceremony without any Meredith-related incidents and she didn't think she could pull that off more than once in the same day. "Speeches? I...we don't have to speech, right? I mean, we already said stuff, to each other...vows and stuff...out loud..."

He raised an eyebrow. "Did you just ask if we had to _speech_?"

She laughed. "I'm a surgeon, not an English major... And you understood me."

He leaned closer and kissed her. "I did," he conceded. "It's a little scary, but not matter how vague and abstract you get, I always seem to understand you."

She narrowed her eyes at him for several seconds, her heart beating wildly in her chest as his eyes seemed to hold hers hostage with their possessive gaze. "Yeah...well...that's your job now," she managed to retort.

"Well, the pay's pretty good," he responded, not missing a beat.

She clicked her tongue, but couldn't help the smile that tore across her lips.

"Can I interrupt this nauseating PDA for just a moment," Cristina butted into their conversation. "When you said speeches, please tell me you didn't mean from us?"

Mark laughed from across the table at her. "Haven't you ever been to a wedding, Yang? The wedding party always do speeches."

"Why did no one tell me?"

"It's expected," Izzy responded. "What did you think I was writing on the plane?"

"I was doing my best to ignore you on the plane," she shot back. "Crap, what am I supposed to say? I hate being unprepared..."

"Just say something nice and wish them all the best in the future and stuff. Just be nice," Izzy repeated.

"That's a human quality," Alex cut in. "She may not have been born with the ability. I definitely haven't seen any proof of it."

Cristina glared at him. "Shut up, evil spawn. I don't see you all eager to talk."

Alex shrugged. "I'm not part of the wedding party. I don't have to."

"I thought I told you to shut up," she hissed at him again, causing Alex to smirk.

"It's easy," Izzy prompted. "You could tell a story about them. Just something upbeat and happy."

"Stevens, you're all wrong," Mark stated. "The point to being in the wedding party is the freedom to say whatever you want about the happy couple. It's a free couple of minutes of tell-all time in front of all their friends and family."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Okay, that's so not fair. The Shepherd's have already heard enough about me this week. We so don't need to add to the 'Meredith is crazy' folder in their brains."

Cristina looked interested suddenly, ignoring Meredith's comment as she looked towards Mark. "Are things I say veto-proof?"

"Absolutely," Mark responded.

"Absolutely not!" Meredith exclaimed. "There are certain things that never need to be told, ever."

Mark smirked at her. "I'm still curious about the whole 'Steve' story..."

"Yeah, well, you can stay curious forever," Meredith told him. Mark hadn't been in Seattle during her infamously embarrassing experience with her last ever one night stand.

"I'll find out one day," he threatened. "People talk at the hospital."

"But none of them talk to you anymore," Derek added, coming to Meredith's aid, his arm settling over her shoulder. Meredith leaned into his warmth, grateful for his support. Mark had a better chance of staying away from the topic with Derek on her side.

Mark waved a dismissive hand. "That'll all wash over sooner or later. And I have a feeling this is a story that's worth the wait."

Meredith glared at him, and he smirked again, and stood up, clearly planning on starting off the speeches.

"Can I have your attention, please?" He called. "As the Best Man, it's my pleasure to start off the speeches. So, as long as everyone is ready, I'll get this thing started." He paused and pulled a single cue card out of his inner jacket pocket. He glanced quickly over the writing before dropping it down to rest upon the table. It was clearly just a list of talking points.

"I have known Derek since Kindergarten. He was in junior. I was in senior. But the school was small enough that our classes were merged a lot. We stayed loose friends for the next few years, until Shep here skipped second grade, and ended up in my third grade class. We got closer and I started to hang out at his house more and more. Carol often referred to me as her second son because she couldn't get rid of me. Truth is, I didn't have much of a family of my own, much like Mer, here..." He trailed off and nodded at her. "Meredith was the first person I talked to in Seattle Grace, and I was immediately _knocked back_ with how much she meant to Derek." He smirked. "Let's just say it _floor_ed me." There was a pause as the Seattle Grace crowd laughed, to the oblivion New York crowd who didn't know the story.

Meredith bit back a laugh as Derek scoffed, and she ran her deft fingertips along the knuckles of his right hand, remembering how they had connected with Mark's face right in front of her. Back then she hadn't even known who the man on the floor was, but she had known who Derek was; who Derek _really_ was. He wasn't the least bit violent. And she had been shocked to realize it really was him who had hit the forward, flirty man lying on the floor.

"Anyway," Mark continued, "Meredith and I have a lot in common, most notably being our acceptance into the wonderful Shepherd family, and our love for this guy." He motioned at Derek. "And in the early days when Derek was still off being stupid, we spent a lot of time commiserating together and co-founded the DMC." He smirked at Meredith. "And if you want to know what that stands for, you'll have to ask Meredith, as I'm sure she _and_ Shep will kick my ass if _I_ tell you."

Meredith glared at him, to his obvious joy as he laughed and turned back to the guests.

"On a more serious note, I've known Derek for my entire life, and I don't think I have a single childhood memory that doesn't include him or the rest of the Shepherds. And I can honestly say that I have never seen him as happy as he has been in the past year." He turned back to Meredith. "And Mer, that's all because of you."

Meredith gripped tightly to Derek's hand and blinked back a sudden onslaught of tears.

"We all thought Derek was crazy to leave New York for Seattle, but he obviously found everything he was looking for and more. So, to Derek, congratulations, man. And to Meredith, thank you for making my best friend so happy, and thanks for bringing my family back to me." He raised his glass and the rest of the wedding guests followed suit.

Derek's arm tightened around her as his lips found her temple. She mouthed a 'thank you' to Mark as she continued to blink back tears. Having her make-up done for the fourth time wasn't something she wanted to subject herself to.

Mark nodded at them and took his seat, motioning to Cristina that it was her turn.

"Be nice," Izzy reminded as Cristina pushed her chair back.

Cristina glared at her roommate. "I can be nice."

"We have yet to see proof of it."

She shifted her glare to Alex. "Shut up, evil spawn."

"Cristina, seriously, you don't have to talk," Izzy said. "It's better to not talk then to say something...Cristina-y..."

Cristina huffed and glared at her fellow bridesmaid, but seemed determined to speak. She stood and surveyed the guests, her attention-oriented eyes clearly weighing in on the crowd, and taking note of the position of her two bosses staring back at her.

"Uh, I'm Cristina Yang, first time Maid of Honour." She introduced herself professionally, as if she were at work. _Doctor Cristina Yang, second year surgical resident._ Meredith almost laughed aloud. "I apologize for not being completely prepared for this, but I wasn't warned about the speech thing." She sent a glance to the rest of the table and the guests laughed. This seemed to give her confidence and her lips curled into an almost-smile.

"I've known Mer for almost two years, and she's my person. And I have the bragging rights of saying that I knew about her and Derek before anyone else. For those of you who don't know, they met before either started working at Grace, and were equally surprised to see each other on their first shift. Meredith and I were doing research together and I couldn't understand why she didn't want to work with the new attending." Cristina smirked. "Anyway, I got it out of her, and was there for all of the ups and _downs_ over the last two years." She put extra emphasis on 'downs' and glanced at Derek, but didn't move to clarify in front of the many unknowing guests.

"I have, of course, been on Meredith's side for everything," she continued. Meredith winced inwardly, gripping tightly to Derek's hand in silent apology, waiting for the bitter second half of the speech. But her best friend surprised her. "But Meredith said something a couple days ago that surprised me. She told me that there weren't any sides anymore." Cristina paused to let that sink in. "And I guess _that_ is marriage in a nutshell. There can't be any sides for a marriage to be real, to work out." There was only a small hint of sadness in her tone related to her own failed attempt. But there was a new sense of understanding filling her voice with confidence. "So, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm still on Meredith's side, only now her side includes Derek, and that's okay... That's a good thing, even. I'm happy for you, Mer," she told her person. "And Derek," she glanced to him with honest eyes, "I'm glad it's you who makes her happy. Welcome to our side." She motioned to Izzy, George and Alex.

Meredith smiled in relief at her family's support and glanced at her new husband. She was taken aback to see tears forming in his eyes. He tried to say something in response, but closed his mouth quickly and nodded, evidently speechless. His arm tightened around her, and she leaned into his warmth, letting him draw strength from her. She had never realized how much it must have hurt him not to have the full support of her best friend until he was given it. And she wondered if maybe he hadn't realized either.

Once Cristina had collapsed back into her chair, Izzy jumped up excitedly. "I'd like to start off by prompting all of you to take extra care to keep a close eye on your cameras tonight," she began, lifting hers off the table to help emphasize her point. "These two can't be trusted not to steal them..." She tilted her head towards Derek and Meredith.

Meredith rolled her eyes as Derek chuckled beside her. Most of the guests laughed quietly, not understanding the joke, but knowing there must be a story behind it.

Izzy laughed and continued. "I was Meredith's roommate for a year before she and Derek moved in together, so I've been around since the beginning of the relationship we're all here to celebrate today. I can remember the day I found out about them. Even way back then they were something special. I can remember asking Mer what she thought she was doing, and the look on her face said it all. No matter how hard she tried to deny it, and believe me she tried very hard, it was obvious she was already falling for him."

_Oh, my God, you're falling for him._

_I am not._

"And as Cristina alluded to, they went through a series of ups and downs, but in the end only the ups really mattered, because here we all are today. We've been through a series of ups and downs together," she motioned at herself and the other four original interns. "We may not be a family in the traditional sense, but we are in every other way, and we've always been there for each other." She turned to Derek. "We were there for her in the biggest down," she said, obviously speaking about his decision to make a second go at his marriage with Addison. "And we were there for a few after it." Her mother's secret getting out. The bomb. Thatcher's other family. "But you've been there for every one since." Doc's death. Meredith's drowning. Ellis's death. Susan's death. Thatcher's hatred and blame, and then Thatcher's abuse.

"And I have every confidence that you will be around for every up and down the future brings. So, also repeating Cristina, welcome to the family. You've won us over again. And Meredith, congratulations. It's not easy to find a man who really sees _you_ and really loves you for it." She turned back to the guests and raised her glass. "To the happy couple!"

Her phrase was repeated in chorus as everyone raised their glass, and Izzy sat back down.

--

Derek nodded gratefully as his wife's former roommate sat back down across from him. He wasn't one to cry. Sitting on the floor of the hospital a year ago had been a very special exception for him. But today he had found his eyes welling on more occasions and for more reasons then he could count. Meredith walking towards him looking more breathtaking than he could ever remember. The emotion churning in his gut as he told her just how much she meant to him. The sound of her shaky voice telling him she believed in _them. _The feel of her smooth skin beneath his fingertips as he slid the simple platinum band onto her finger. The feeling of cool metal slipping onto his own finger after she had, without any hesitation in her quiet voice, said 'I do.' Clutching her hands as they were pronounced husband and wife. Losing himself in their first kiss.

And now, being officially welcomed into the tightly knit family that had formed two years ago when five strangers, without close family ties of their own, had been forced to band together. It was a bond he had been aware of, but not worried about at first. A bond he had been grateful she had in the months they were apart. A bond he had been concerned by when he had struggled to re-find a place in her life. A bond he had been wary of, worked around, welcome by and pushed away from. And now it was a bond he was being asked to be a part of. After a year of being a solid part of her life, he had still been uncertain of their faith in him at times. And the relief that washed over him was overwhelming now. Because they loved her too. And she listened to them. And he didn't ever want to make her choose. Because even though he would be there for every up and down for the rest of her life, they had been there when he had not.

Meredith shifted beside him, her hand squeezing his, and he buried his face in her hair, heedless of the fifty friends and family watching with attentive eyes. He needed a moment. Her closest hand was clutched tightly in his, so she reached her far hand around to cup the back of his head, offering him as much support as she could from their position. He inhaled deeply, revelling in the familiar lavender bliss that assaulted his senses.

Someone cleared their throats from the middle tables. "I know that I wasn't asked to talk, but I wanted to say a few words anyway," Joe's familiar voice rang out. Derek took a breath and found the strength to pull away from his wife. "First of all, as much as Yang hates to be proved wrong, I have to do it," he smirked at Cristina, "_I_ was the first to know about these two. I was there at the very beginning; witnessed their very first meeting. Now, I own a bar, so I see tons of first meetings. But there was something different about this right from the start. Meredith, here, was sitting alone at the bar. Derek watched her for a while before he found the courage to approach her..."

Derek nodded to himself, remembering the night in question. It had taken him sometime to get up and introduce himself to the breathtaking woman sitting alone at the bar. It wasn't his style. It wasn't something he had very much practice at, and no practice for the past thirteen years at least. But it was something he had had to do. There had just been something about her that told him under no uncertain terms that he had to meet her; had to talk to her, had to...know her.

"...And they sat together and talked for a long time. Lots of laughing. But there was one moment in particular that still stands out in my mind...that was enough to catch my notice two years ago. I was making my way down the bar to check their drinks and they were just staring at each other. Silent. Smiling. Seemingly lost in each other's eyes. They didn't even notice me. It lasted several seconds." Joe shrugged. "I didn't see it happen again, but it was enough for me to recognize them months later when they started coming out to the bar more often. And it obviously meant something, because here we are today..."

Derek found himself nodding along. Joe was right; the staring thing had only happened once.

Once had been enough for him to be hooked.

"Anyway, I wanted to share that. Having the bar has its advantages. I've been around for more than most people give me credit for. Not only was I there at the beginning, but I was there when Shepherd didn't show up, and I was there when he finally did. I was there for Meredith's knitting phase," he added, giving the Seattle crowd something to laugh at to counter the seriousness of his previous comment. "I was there when Meredith let her friends talk her into being terrified to fly out to New York for the first time to meet Derek's family." Derek found himself laughing along with everyone else at this one. "I was there when Meredith came in newly engaged and ecstatic last December. I was there for Izzy trying to, very adamantly I'll add, convince Meredith to hyphenate her last name. And I was there for a number of other moments in the middle that I don't have time to mention. But, to Meredith and Derek, I want to thank you both for letting me be here for another important moment."

Derek nodded gratefully to the man whose life he had saved, the man who really and truly had been there for the very beginning. It pained him to imagine what would have been had he not found the courage to approach Meredith at the bar. Or if he had chosen another bar. Or if he had chosen another hospital. Or if he hadn't had any reason to want to leave New York so suddenly. He shook his head and thanked whoever was out there listening that he was where he was right now. And that the woman beside him was who she was.

There was a rustling as the table to their left spoke amongst themselves. Eventually Kathleen stood up. "We thought we should all say something too," she said lightly. "But eight people saying basically the same thing is a lot, so I was, apparently, elected Shepherd sibling spokesperson." She laughed. "Anyway, were this a regular wedding I would stand up and welcome my new sister-in-law into the family. But that's not what I'm going to do now, because Meredith," she turned her gaze to meet that of her sister-in-law. Derek felt Meredith tense under his arm, uncertain. "You don't need to be welcomed into the family, because you are already family, and I think you have been since you let my daughter drag you through the front door the first time you came out here with Derek. Now, I really think we're all nice, friendly people...for the most part, anyway," she added with a joking head tilt towards her next youngest sister.

Nancy rolled her eyes in good nature as the rest of the guests laughed.

Kathleen smiled. "Anyway, we're all pretty friendly, so we're easy to get along with. But Meredith, you don't just get along with us. You _fit in_. We're all different from each other, and we all have our own little niche to fit in without stepping on other people's toes. But you came into this family and slid right into your own niche. And you fit perfectly. And I can honestly speak for everyone when I say that we are so glad to have you as a part of our family. We love you Mer, and we're so glad you chose our brother." She smiled warmly as Derek felt his new wife begin to quiver under his hand. Kathleen turned her attention to him. "And good choice little brother," she added.

Derek laughed, but quickly turned his attention to Meredith. It was his turn to comfort her as the realization of her place in his family overwhelmed her. Her face found the crook of his neck and his arm stretched around her waist to hold her tight.

"I love you," he whispered.

She sniffed. "I love you more," she answered, her voice quiet and weak, but determined.

He couldn't help but laugh at her persistence. It was an argument he looked forward to continuing for the rest of their lives.

000

Her left arm was around his neck, its hand buried in his hair. His right arm was wrapped around her waist, pulling her in close. Their remaining hands were clasped together, tucked between their hearts as they swayed back and forth to _Feels Like Home_. She sighed and he felt the warm air exhaled from her lips brush past his ear. He pressed his cheek closer to the side of her head. She responded with equal pressure. He closed his eyes and couldn't think of anything he would rather be doing at this moment.

They were dancing. At their wedding. Their first dance as husband and wife.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew they were the sole attention of fifty pairs of eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to care. And apparently, either could she. There was a slight vibration against his cheek and he smiled when he realized she was humming along with the song. His arm tightened around her on its own volition and she snuggled even closer in response.

Eventually, the song ended, and a new one began. More couples joined them on the floor, but Derek barely noticed. He found his hand sliding up and down her spine on its own volition. She released her grip on his right hand and wrapped her now free hand around his neck to join her other one. Derek didn't waste any time in finding her waist and pulling her body flush against his, both hands free to roam her back and keep her close.

They continued to sway back and forth, oblivious to the stares and the pictures being taken.

"This is really happening," she whispered into his neck.

He stilled his hands and held her still for a moment. "It is," he responded, just as much emotion in his tone as had been in hers.

She pulled back to meet his eyes. Hers were shining with unshed tears. "I just...even after this week...I can't..."

He smiled and closed the distance between their lips. After kissing her softly for several seconds, he met her eyes again. "It really happened, Mer. We really got married."

Her smile was bright enough to warm his heart. "Am I a good wife so far?"

Derek laughed at her lighter, teasing tone and resumed their gentle swaying. "Perfect, absolutely perfect. How about me?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You want to know if you're being a good wife?"

He rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but kiss her smirking lips. "Am I a good husband?" He clarified.

It was her turn to kiss him. "You're an even better husband than you were a boyfriend or fiancé."

He pressed his forehead against hers. "Good," he whispered.

And for several more songs, they lost themselves in each other again.

000

Meredith had finally pulled out of his arms to head for the bathroom with Cristina in tow, and Derek found himself being pulled back onto the dance floor by his mother the second he stepped off of it.

"I want to dance with my son on his wedding day, Derek," she had said as she clasped her hand onto his forearm and turned him to follow her.

Derek went willingly, laughing as she made a joke about lecturing him more for the bomb fiasco. "It was over a year ago," he reiterated as they began to dance.

"I'm proud of you, Derek," she said softly. "Even if I think you were stupid, it took courage to stay there. Miranda was very grateful towards you." There was understanding in her tone. She had lost Sam. Miranda had almost lost Tucker.

He raised an eyebrow. "So, just to get this straight; you're proud of me for being brave and mad at me for being stupid for the same action?"

"Yes."

He scoffed. "Isn't that a little...contradictory?"

"Not at all."

"But-"

"I'm your mother, Derek. You don't get to argue."

He laughed, but conceded.

"Meredith told me what happened with her father," she said quietly.

Derek nodded. "She told me she did."

Carol pursed her lips and sighed. "I can't believe anyone could do something so horrible to their own child."

"Not everyone was as lucky as we were," Derek responded, referring to himself and his sisters.

"It must have been tough."

"It was." He nodded. "But nothing is ever going to make me walk away from her ever again. I love her, mom, more than anything."

Carol smiled warmly at her son. "I'm so happy to hear you speaking like this, Derek. With Addy...you were never like this. You didn't talk about her like this. You didn't look at her...like you look at Meredith."

"I loved Addy. I really think I did... But we were too different. And it was never like it is with Mer." He shook his head. "I don't think I realized anything was missing until last year." He offered her a warm smile. "I'm so thankful you accepted her so easily. She deserves so much more than she's ever been offered."

"It's just like Kathleen said, Derek, she fits into our family. We would have accepted her no matter what, but she _belongs_ with us. She'll always have a spot with us. And I hope you'll be around as much as you can."

"We'll visit when we can," he agreed. "It'll be hard until she gets a bit further into her residency, but we'll make some time when we can."

"Good, because we're not letting you disappear again and barely speak to us for over a year."

Derek shook his head at his mother's teasing tone. "That won't happen again," he promised. "I was hurt and...lost. And I had already spent so much of my life avoiding so many things that it was easy to just avoid everything." Derek sighed. "But I have so much to live for now, mom. I won't be avoiding anymore, I promise."

"I'm glad. And I'm glad to see you so happy, Derek. She's so good for you. She makes you a better person." Carol paused as her eyes welled. "You remind me so much of your father right now, Derek. You've always looked like him, but with Meredith, you act like him too. He was always there for me, always saying wonderful things to me. There isn't a doubt in my mind that you two are going to make it work forever."

Derek smiled. "Me either."

000

When Meredith returned from the bathroom, she watched her new husband dance with his mother for several minute before she was pulled onto the dance floor by Spencer...and then Dean...and then Simon...and then Phil. It was apparently necessary that she have at least one dance with each of them. And once she was done, she made her way to the makeshift bar for a much needed refreshment.

She requested a glass of water, and had only had a sip when the man she hadn't talked to yet found her.

"Congratulations, Meredith."

Meredith swallowed her mouthful of water and looked up to see Richard and Adele standing before her. She glanced warily towards the dance floor to spot Derek dancing with his sister. "Thanks, Chief."

"It was a beautiful ceremony," Adele added, offering her a warm smile as she tried to control the tension between Meredith and Richard. She obviously knew what had occurred at the hospital months before.

"Thanks," Meredith responded evenly. She had dealt with Richard professionally when she had to since the incident, but had never delved into personal issues. And never in an environment outside the hospital walls. And for the first time in months, she found herself wishing for familiar security beside her.

She had barely completed the thought when a warm hand found the small of her back and Derek was at her side, as if he had heard her. "Chief, glad you could make it," he greeted. He stuck out his hand.

Richard looked hesitant, but shook. "Congratulations, Derek."

Derek nodded his thanks and extended his hand to Adele.

"I was just telling Meredith how beautiful the ceremony was," Adele told him as she shook his hand more readily than had her husband. "What a wonderful idea it was to have the ceremony here. And it must have been lovely to grow up here?"

"It was," Derek replied with a smile.

"And you got such a perfect day for it."

"We really did," Meredith found herself agreeing, having discovered her voice again.

Adele nodded and excused herself to head up the hill to the bathroom. She had done her part in starting the conversation, but knew she needed to give Richard a few minutes alone with the people he had wronged.

Meredith watched her go and leaned closer to Derek, feeling for any changes in his tension. He seemed relatively calm.

"I really want to thank you both for inviting me," Richard began. "I...don't deserve your forgiveness after what I did."

Derek didn't speak up, so Meredith squeezed his hand and did so herself. "We all do things we're not proud of, Chief. But that doesn't mean we don't deserve to be forgiven...as long as it doesn't happen again."

"It won't," he reassured. "I'm turning over a new leaf and not reacting until I have all the facts."

Derek laughed and for a second Meredith held her breath. "I remember when I was an intern and you vowed to turn over a new leaf and be nice to Banders. That lasted all of half a day."

Richard returned his laughter, with only a touch of hesitation. "Well, Banders was an ass."

"True."

"This time I mean it," Richard continued.

Derek nodded. "Good." There wasn't any condescension in his tone. He really was letting it go. And that made Meredith breathe easier. She had married an amazing man.

Richard smiled at her, the tension effectively broken. "So, after Joe said you discussed it at his bar, I'm curious as to what you've decided to do about your name?"

"I'm changing it."

"Hyphenating?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm dropping Grey for good. And I know it may get confusing at the hospital, but everyone said to not think about work and make the decision for me. And that's what I did. And really, I don't want to be a Grey anymore. I don't want to be compared to my mother, because I'm not _her_, and I don't want to be like her. And I don't want to be connected to Thatcher Grey anymore. And I...want to be a Shepherd. Because for the first time in my life, I have a family, and I want to be a full part of that, and I..." She trailed off as she realized she was pulling a Meredith and was rambling along at full speed. She felt her cheeks blush, and avoided Derek's knowing smirk. She cleared her throat. "I'll be coming back to the hospital as Meredith Shepherd," she summed up.

To her surprised, Richard smiled and nodded without a hint of disapproval in his expression. "I'll have the paperwork waiting when you get back on Wednesday."

Meredith blinked. "You mean...it's not a problem?"

"Not at all. You have every right to be called whatever you want at work."

"Oh, I...good."

Richard nodded. "You're mother would be proud of you," he said quietly.

Meredith sucked in a breath and met his eyes. "Chief, you and I both know that she would be disappointed in me if she were here. She didn't want me being distracted with anything outside of medicine. And we already know she doesn't like Derek..." She continued with a laugh.

Derek laughed beside her and tightened his arm, obviously remembering her mother kicking him out of her hospital room on the one and only occasion he had met her lucid.

"I didn't mean..." Richard trailed off. "I meant... If she had ever taken it upon herself to know _you_, Meredith, she would have been so proud. You have just as much skill and talent as she did, but you have something she lacked; compassion maybe. She always had trouble relating to her patients. Give yourself a few more years of training and you'll be the perfect, well rounded surgeon." He smirked. "Probably even better than your husband, here."

Meredith laughed as Derek huffed in good nature.

000

Her eyes were sparkling as he met them with his. "What?"

She smiled widely, lifting her hand to emphasize the importance of what she held in her hand. "It's just...it's junk food, Derek." She laughed. "I don't think I've ever seen you willingly eat junk food. Ever. At least not more than a bite or two of mine."

He stepped closer, his own hand cradling a small piece of cake. "For our wedding cake, I can make an exception."

She beamed; just as she had every time he had said wedding. Or married. Or husband. Or wife. Or anything remotely related to their newly found married status. And, if he were perfectly honest with himself, he too had felt that jolt of electricity and happiness every time any of those words had been uttered.

"Okay, let's do this," she said, lifting her hand towards him.

He nodded his agreement and mirrored her movements. "Just...be nice," he pleaded, knowing too well the gleam in her eyes that told him he was going to be wearing as much cake as he ate.

"I'm always nice."

He scoffed and carefully lifted his piece to her mouth, hoping that if he showed her some mercy, she would reciprocate.

He was wrong.

A few seconds later, he nose, cheeks and chin were covered in icing and cake. His new wife's laugher echoed through the wedding tent as she wiped the small amount of cake he had managed to smear across her cheek off.

He pressed his lips together and glowered at her as she continued to laugh. Apparently that was one wedding tradition she had been quite aware of. Although, he realized as he took in the triumphant expressions on all four of his sisters' faces, she had probably been put up to it.

Alex was standing close by, having volunteered to help cut the cake. He met Derek's eyes and shook his head. "Dude, that was sad."

This only succeeded to increase Meredith's giggles as she stepped closer to him and pressed her clean lips against his vanilla ones. "I love you," she told him as she pulled away, licking the sweet taste off her mouth as she did so.

He grumbled and pulled her close to kiss her again, making sure to press his face against her however he could. She giggled against his lips, but allowed herself to be used to remove part of the wedding cake she had planted across his face. And when he pulled away, she stayed close and pecked his lips several times.

"Hmm... You taste good," she whispered.

His heart jumped at the look she gave him, and for a moment all he could think about was the night ahead of them.

Then Meredith giggled again, and he was drawn from his thoughts as he shook his head at her sudden light-heartedness. Two years of knowing her, and he had never seen her so...bright and shiny. She wasn't just cheerful, she was glowing. And bubbly. And animated. And not the least bit worried about their audience.

He really had met his goal of making her happy.

000

It was getting late.

All of the little kids had been put to bed. Bailey and Tucker senior had been shuttled back to the hotel with baby Tucker. All of Derek's more distant family had bid their farewells and headed off. Joe and Walter, and Richard and Adele had gone. Only Lexie and Meredith's friends remained, getting ready to be shuttled back to their hotel on the next trip. The Shepherd siblings that weren't at work putting children to bed scuttled around the tent, helping the catering staff clean up.

Meredith and Derek danced quietly together, not quite ready to let go of the last moments of the day to make memories.

"You're mother was right," Meredith found herself whispering as she rested her head against Derek's shoulder. She had ditched her shoes and found herself more comfortable now that she was meeting Derek's body where she was used to.

"Hmm?"

"She told me this was a day I would never forget."

His arms tightened around her. "I'll never forget it either."

She closed her eyes and let him lead her body back and forth for several repetitions. "I didn't get it for so long," she finally told him. "The whole wedding thing kind of flummoxed me. And with you...I wanted to get married and I wanted something more than...like, city hall or Vegas or whatever. And when we started to plan stuff, I guess I started to get it. But I never...I guess I never _really_ got it until today. The whole having all your closest friends and family together to celebrate and doing all the wedding-y stuff..." She trailed off and sighed. "I get it now."

"You happy?"

"More than I ever thought possible," she responded honestly.

"Me too."

She smiled against him. "Happy doesn't even seem like an adequate word anymore."

He chuckled. "So I've noticed. You've been a little bouncy tonight; must be Izzy's influence."

She groaned. "Tell me I wasn't as bad as her..."

Derek laughed, his nimble fingers running up and down along her spine. "I'll tell you anything you want to hear."

She clicked her tongue at him. "Not nice."

His hand paused against her upper back, his fingers spaying to touch each shoulder blade as he held her tight. "I love seeing you so free, Mer. It's like a glimpse of the person you should have been allowed to become."

She took his words in and ran them over and over in her head several times before responding. There was a time when she wouldn't have accepted such a statement from him. But she had come to realize he had never set out to fix any more of her than what he had broken himself. All he wanted was for her to trust him and let him love her and for her to be whoever _she_ wanted to be.

"You're letting me be that person, Derek," she finally told him. "And that's what counts."

"Good." He pulled away far enough to meet her eyes. "I want more than anything for my _wife_ to be happy."

She beamed at his words as she felt her heart go all warm and mushy in her chest. Married. Married. Married. His beautiful blue eyes were sparkling, and his gorgeous hair was slightly unkempt where she had run her fingers through it.

He was perfect. And he was hers.

"I love that word," she whispered, unable to keep hers fingers from running through his dark brown locks.

"I love the woman who fits it even more," he countered.

She giggled. "Derek, seriously, that was cheesy."

He shrugged. "I can't bring myself to care right now." He smirked. "Because I have a wife."

Meredith beamed again at his words. "Yeah, well, I have a husband..."

She was rewarded when his lips curled up into a beaming smile that showed his teeth. "I like being your husband."

"I like you being my husband." She broke eye contact and pulled herself flush against his chest again. "I love you so much, Derek."

"I love you so much, too, Meredith."

She lost track of time as they continued to dance together, but she eventually became aware that the activity around them had stopped and that their remaining family were patiently waiting for them to call it a night.

She clutched onto the fabric of his jacket. "I don't want it all to be over," she whispered.

"It's not over," he reassured. "It's all just beginning for us, Mer. This is our beginning."

"Right, the whole forever thing..."

"Exactly."

"But tonight..."

"Isn't over," he finished before pulling back to meet her eyes again. There was a familiar smouldering behind his. One side of his lips curled upwards and he tilted his head. "We have all night to celebrate on our own."

Meredith's throat suddenly felt dry as a very familiar burning ignited inside of her. She had been completely honest when she had told him she was looking forward to only being with him for the rest of her life. He was the person who had taught her how to connect with someone, how to actually feel close to another human being. And the fact that he was by far the best she had ever had was simply icing on the cake. She wouldn't give up her newly found joy and security for anything.

But that still didn't mean she had expected to feel this way now. For the first time in a long time, she found herself a little bit nervous about the events to come that night. It would mark her last first. Her first time making love to her husband.

She shuddered as she inhaled a shaky breath and offered him a wobbly smile.

He understood and pressed his lips against hers lightly for several seconds before pulling away and taking her by the hand to lead her towards their waiting family members.

"You calling it a night?" Kathleen asked with a smile.

Meredith nodded, uncertain if she was sad it was over or glad something else was beginning.

"Yeah," Derek responded evenly. "It's late."

Mark stepped forward and held out something small. Meredith watched with interest as Derek took it and held it up for a better look. In the dull light coming from the still lit tent, it appeared to be a credit card or something.

"What is it?" She asked as Derek turned it over. There was writing on the other side.

"It's a key card, for that resort in town," Mark responded. "You didn't think we were going to let you stay here tonight?"

"I never really..." _thought about it._

Natalie snorted. "We didn't want you to traumatize the children."

"Oh, god," Meredith mumbled as she blushed and buried her face in Derek's shoulder.

"Oh, we can attest to that," Izzy jumped in. "Trust me, the kids would be traumatized."

George and Alex didn't hesitate to agree, causing Meredith blush a deeper shade of red and wish she could just disappear.

"It's my wedding gift, man," Mark continued, now addressing Derek as Meredith was still hiding herself. "We've already got you checked in and sent your suitcases there, so all you have to do is drive out there. You're booked for two nights."

"Just make sure you come back here on Monday to say goodbye to mom before you fly home," Nancy added. "Or she'll have your heads."

"Thanks, guys, for everything," Derek said. Meredith cautiously lifted her head from his shoulder and chimed in with her own thanks.

She said goodbye, hugging everyone, and let her new husband lead her around the house to the silver Explorer that now boasted an array of streamers and flowers and confetti. When her friends or new family had found time to do this too was beyond her.

Ever the gentleman, Derek opened her door for her, but she captured his lips in hers for several moments before she allowed him to help her into the car, giving them both a taste of what was to come that night.

And when they finally found themselves settled in the car, Meredith reached for Derek's hand, and they set of for the small resort hotel in town, their future and hopes and dreams before them.

And behind them, spelled across the back of the car in purple flowers:

_JUST McMARRIED!___

_**AN: Okay, so my original plan was to have this fic posted in a two week span...really...I promise, that was my plan. But real life has been breathing down my neck and forcing me to put my fics on the back burner a few times now. So, really, to everyone who has been reading and leaving me such awesome feedback, I'm really sorry about all of the delays. And thanks for sticking with me.**_

_**This was supposed to be the last chapter before the epilogue, but I've already begun the epilogue and it's growing really long already, so there may well be another chapter in between. And really, isn't twelve a better number of chapters than eleven? Lol.**_

_**I had a few issues writing this chapter, and I'd like to address a few quickly. First, Carol wasn't really mad at Derek, just peeved that she didn't know. I'm not sure if that was clear. And I had her call him Derek Christopher Shepherd to stay consistent with the show. I'm one of the many authors who chose to use Michael as his middle name before (doesn't Derek Michael Shepherd souns better than Christopher?), and when I figure out which chapter of What I'm Here For I declared that, I will change it... Second, having watched the fourth season, I'm having trouble getting into Derek's mindset, even though the fourth season didn't exist in my fic-universe. His vows still seem a little off to me, and I'm finding myself drawn more and more towards writing from Mer's POV, so sorry about that. Next, I needed to have Adele come and act as the ice breaker, but even though she only said a few things, I feel like she was horribly OOC. But seriously, I can't get a decent grasp on her character, because when have we ever seen her not angry at her husband for one thing or another? LOL. **_

_**Lastly, I want to thank TruLuv for motivating me to actually choose a song for their first dance. I was going to leave it up to your imagination, but she sent me a list of songs, and I finally settled on Feels Like Home by Chantel Kreviazuk, because it really fits in with them and the whole 'home' motif I've been pushing since the first chapter. AND because when I searched for it on YouTube to listen to it, the very first result was a MerDer video someone had made. I took that as a sign. Thanks again TruLuv!**_

_**Thanks for reading!**_


	11. LIFE

**LIFE**

'The best things in life are unseen;  
that's why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream'  
_- Anon._

**- The first few days of the rest of their lives... -**

It was dark when Derek turned the car onto the long, dirt driveway that snaked back and forth across the land they both loved so much. The trailer quickly came into view, its silver frame accentuated by the light of the mostly-full moon. Meredith smiled at the sight and reached her hand over to rest atop Derek's leg. He dropped his right hand from the steering wheel to capture hers.

"We're almost home," he commented, squeezing her hand.

"Yeah..." She whispered, feeling her heart flutter in her chest. For the first time in her life she had a home that really and truly felt like _home_. Home was no longer simply the building she was residing in, or the place her mail was sent to. It was no longer the only place she could afford, or the closest place to work or school. Home was no longer only a place to live and feel content_._ Now, home had everything to do with the man beside her in the car; the man she had vowed to spend the rest of her life with, the man who had promised to love her for the rest of his. Home was now where she was accepted as who she was, where she was loved, where she was special to someone else.

And right now, home was apparently a small trailer on a large plot of land. The thought almost made her laugh. True, she was living the dream of so many women; she had fallen in love with and married the perfect, dreamy doctor. But they still found a way of making their love story non-traditional; enter the trailer.

They had the following day off, and had opted to stay at the trailer to extend their 'honeymoon' for as long as possible, regardless of the fact that their plane had been delayed for several hours and by the time they had landed in Seattle, gotten his car out of long-term parking at the airport and driven out to their land, it was close to midnight.

He pulled the car up to the slightly overgrown parking space and lifted his hand off of hers to shift into park. After the engine was off, they sat in silence for several seconds before Derek took a deep breath and offered her a smile. "I love you so much, Mer," he told her quietly, replacing his hand atop of hers.

Meredith turned her hand under his to link their fingers together, palm to palm. "I love you more." She smirked.

Derek growled in the back of his throat. "Not true."

"Is so true," she countered. "And you _know_ I'm right."

"I should never have told you about that..." He grumbled.

She laughed. "It's too late now, buster."

"Buster?" He raised an eyebrow.

She shrugged, biting back a smile. "Isn't that what people say?"

Derek leaned across the consul to press his lips against hers. "Apparently, it's what my _wife_ says..."

Meredith couldn't help the beaming smile that it up her face. The term still gave her goose-bumps, especially when it rolled so easily off his tongue. "Yeah, well...deal with it."

It was his turn to laugh. "Nice comeback."

"It's late," she explained, with a nonchalant wave of her right hand. "I don't have the brain power to come up with a better one right now." It may be close to midnight in Seattle, but they were still on New York time, and it was almost three in the morning across the country.

Derek smiled wryly at her and shook his head before turning away to get out of the car. Meredith rolled her eyes and followed suit, meeting her husband at the trunk to get their bags. He was still smirking when he passed her suitcase into her waiting hands.

"Thanks." Meredith leaned in close to kiss him before he could pull his own bag out. She found she had been doing that a lot lately, leaning in to kiss him; light and quick. She smiled when she realized how much of a habit it was becoming.

He caught her by the waist and pulled her into a second, deeper, kiss for several moments. "You're very welcome," he whispered against her lips when he pulled away.

She pecked his lips one last time before pulling herself from his arms to drag her suitcase along the grassy pathway to the trailer porch. The wheels thudded against the wood as she pulled it up the three steps to the deck. Releasing the handle near the door, she dug her hand into her purse, eventually coming up with her keys. Without having realized he had caught up to her, Meredith yawned and stretched out her hand towards the lock, but her movements were thwarted when Derek's chest found her side and his strong arms wrapped around her, easily pulling her keys out of her fingers as her grip loosened in surprise.

"Wha...?" She stuttered, unable to continue as his lips found her neck, sending a series of chills up and down her spine, despite her exhaustion.

Derek's chin found purchase on her shoulder as his lips released the smooth skin of her neck. "You need to stay here for a minute."

She leaned her head against his. "Why?"

"Because."

Meredith scoffed. "Derek, it's like three in the morning for us..." All she wanted to do was curl up in her husband's arms and sleep for as long as her body would let her. She had always loved coming out to the trailer with him on their rare days off together. It was so quiet and serene, offering her a haven she had never had before. Wrapped in his arms, in the small bedroom of the small trailer, out in the middle of nowhere with the only sounds around her being that of the wind and his even breathing, Meredith found her peace.

He pressed his lips against the side of her neck again. "Trust me."

"Derek..." She whined, the sensations of his attention once more reeking havoc on her traitorous body. Even after two days of having nothing but his devoted attention, she was still aptly responsive to his magic touch.

"Stay," he commanded, leaving her bereft when his warmth, that had been surrounding her so completely, suddenly dissipated. His fingers found the handle of her suitcase and he disappeared through the door, leaving her floundering for something to say in response.

"Just because I'm your wife now doesn't mean you get to tell me what to do!" She called after him, mustering as much of a serious tone as she could now that she was already dealing with conflicting exhaustion and arousal coursing through her system. "McDreamy my ass..." She mumbled to herself.

He reappeared seconds later, a laughing smile playing across his lips. If he had heard her quiet comment, he didn't mention it. "Mer, I'd never dream of telling you what to do...or of actually expecting you to do it." His eyes sparkled and he smirked, his lips pursing as his perfect dimple erupted on either side of his mouth.

She glared at him, even through her laughter. "You told me to stay."

"I _asked_ you to stay."

"No, you _told _me to stay."

"Did I say you _had_ to stay?"

"Well, no...but that's not the point."

"I think it's the point." He stepped forward and captured her lips with his, effectively ending the playful argument. His hands found the small of her back and she couldn't help but run her fingers up his body to his hair. She really loved his hair. And his strong shoulders. And his chest. And his...everything.

"Derek..." She moaned his name when he pulled back, leaving her breathless and wanting. Exhaustion was officially bowing out of the competition; not that it had put up much of a fight.

He smiled at her and shifted to the side, and before she could even wonder what he was doing, she found herself being swept off the ground.

"Derek!" She said his name again, only much louder this time. Her fingers clutched to the fabric of his shirt, but with his strong arms holding her, she couldn't imagine feeling unsafe. She giggled as she settled against him. "What are you doing?"

He smiled and kissed her again. "I'm doing the threshold thing."

"You already did the threshold thing," she reminded. After they had driven to the hotel after the reception, and had made out in the elevator on the way up to their floor, he had carried her all the way down the hall, into their room, and to their bed.

_She could remember gasping as the elevator beeped to announce their floor and he had released her from the confines of his arms where he was pressing her against the wall of the small car, and picked her up in one smooth motion._

_"Why are you carrying me?" She had asked as he stepped out of the elevator and paused to determine which direction to turn._

_"Because we have to do the threshold thing. You know, where the groom gets to carry his bride over the threshold on their wedding night?"_

_"Hmmm... I like the sound of that..." She had purred into his lips as he turned left and proceeded to carry her all the way down the hallway and around the corner. Apparently the honeymoon sweet was in its own corner of the building. With good reason, she had thought as her body tingled with anticipation. _

"Yes, and it was very enjoyable, so I'm doing it again." His smooth voice pulled her from her reverie. She met his clear, blue eyes, filled to the brim with love and happiness and heat, and felt herself melt inside. Oh yeah, exhaustion was definitely taking a backseat for the night.

"Isn't it like a tradition thing," she teased, "only supposed to be once?"

He shrugged. "I was never sure if it was supposed to be the groom carrying the bride over the threshold on the wedding night, or when they got home, so I thought I'd do both just to make sure." He was smiling and his eyes were shining, only betraying a hint of insecurity, asking her to take the leap with him. "And we can even do it again when the house is finished. In fact, I'll have to insist on it."

She pulled his face close to hers and kissed him; soft and sweet. "You've got no complaints from over here," she reassured with a light smile. "I'm all for doing the threshold thing again. Hell, I'm all for making it a regular occurrence." She could still remember the lingering nerves bouncing between her stomach walls as she had taken the key-card from Derek and fumbled to unlock the door for them as he held her. Or the way her throat had dried as he carried her across the room without pausing to turn on the lights. Or the way her chest had burned when he set her down on the soft bed, laying his weight over top of her; they had done this countless times, but it suddenly felt new all over again. Or the way her heart had fluttered when he had lifted his lips away from her clavicle and paused, his hand brushing a few strands of hair out of her face. And the way he had smiled down at her, his gaze showing nothing more than the love and devotion and security she had secretly dreamed about for her entire life.

She could definitely live with the threshold thing again.

His face lit up with her encouraging words and he proceeded to pull open the door and step inside, cradling her small frame to his chest. During the short walk from the door to the bed, Meredith caught her bearings as she took in the trailer around her. They had only been gone a week and a half. And they had been out to the trailer days before they had gone. But everything seemed so much different now. So much had changed for her in the past few weeks; few days, really. The trailer had never felt _so much_ like home before.

They had spent months practically living together in her mother's house, and although it had been comfortable, it hadn't been home for her since she was five years old. And they had been living in their apartment in the city for nearly a year, and it had been wonderful. Sharing a residence with only Derek had done wonders to cement their relationship in her mind. The apartment felt home-y and fun, but never quite like _home._ It had never been permanent in her mind.

Several months ago, she and Derek had decided to start building their dream house, and Derek had brought her out to his land, only to present her with a new trailer; to start fresh, so that all of the memories would be theirs. And a large, manila envelope had produced a newly drafted deed that listed her as a co-landowner. And the next morning he had taken her to the most scenic spot on his land and asked her for the rest of her life.

She had been overwhelmed by the sense of belonging and _home _she had felt when she had said yes and found herself wrapped in his warm arms. And now, as she was being placed down on the soft mattress and he was smiling reverently down at her, she found herself surprised as realization washed over her in waves; it wasn't the building or the room or the amount of time spent in it. There was only one thing she needed to feel at home.

Him.

The places they had lived together had felt more and more like home as their commitment to each other had increased. And now, officially and legally committed to each other for a lifetime, all she needed to feel at home was him, and a small trailer in the middle of nowhere.

000

Derek nodded along to the contractor's words as he and Meredith were led through their soon-to-be new house for the first time. The floors of the ground level were unfinished, but solid, and most of the walls were still open to their surrounding rooms, simply defined by beams and two-by-fours, giving the house a transparent feeling. In the next few weeks, the second floor would be in the same stages, and then the electrical would be completed and the walls would be dry-walled.

"And we're still on track for completion in November?" Derek asked.

Their head contractor, Henry, nodded. He was a pleasant, older man, likely in his early fifties, with an agreeable expression and thinning grey hair. His friendly nature and easy-going disposition made him a wonderful spokesperson for his small company. Derek and Meredith had both immediately taken to him during their first meeting. "Yes, of course, Dr. Shepherd. Everything has gone well so far. It is a beautiful home you two have designed."

"Thanks," he responded, smiling as he felt his wife tuck into his side after she had wandered what would one day be their kitchen, her arm reaching around his back. Her eyes were shining, and had been since they had stepped through the hole that would be their front door.

"It looks really good," she told Henry. "I mean, I don't really know what I'm looking at, but the walls - well, the part of them that are up – look really good. And are right where I expected them, so that's good." She giggled. "It's actually really cool, you know? To be able to see the house in these stages, I mean. There's nothing like really knowing your house from the inside out, I guess..."

Derek bit back a laugh as he watched Henry try to maintain a straight face.

"Thank-you, Dr. Grey," he quickly responded with a smile. "It's always nice to have interested clients. Most just call me up every week and demand that I work faster." Derek and Meredith had chosen this company because they were known for quality and attention to detail more so than speed. If it took the better part of a year to build the house they would spend the rest of their lives in, it was worth it for the house to be perfect.

"You're welcome," Meredith answered, "but it's actually Dr. Shepherd now."

Derek felt his heart jump at her gentle correction. _Meredith Shepherd._ He hadn't been lying so many months before when he had told her he would support whatever decision she made. But the feeling in his heart when he had read her choice off the marriage license form the week before had almost overwhelmed him. She really wanted to start over with him, let her past go and concentrate on building a new family with him. A family that would one day have more members, but for now he was content with just the two of them.

Henry's eyes traveled down to her left hand, and then across the Derek's before they came back up and he offered them a warm smile. "Congratulations, you two. I didn't even notice."

"Thank-you." Derek smiled and wrapped an arm around his wife.

"When was the big day?"

"Saturday." Derek couldn't help the bright smile that erupted from his lips. The last three days had included playing host to fifty people, spending hours and hours in a busy airport, and a five and a half hour plane ride complete with tons of turbulence. And yet, they had been the best three days of his life because she had been at his side the entire time.

_"We should be halfway home by now," he had grumbled as he glanced at his watch, clearly irritated. _

_She had lifted her head off his shoulder and offered him a smile and a shrug that said 'what can you do about it?' The weather was horrible and a number of flights had been cancelled. They were lucky theirs was only delayed. _

_Her hand found his and she ran her fingers over the smooth band of platinum gracing his ring finger before she threaded her fingers through his. "It's kind of ironic, don't you think, that we're stuck in New York because of a storm and it's sunny in Seattle?"_

_Despite his agitation, Derek found the corner of his lips quirking upwards. "It's a little ironic," he conceded. "I just...We only have one more day off before we have to go back to work and I don't want to spend it in an airport."_

_She leaned over to kiss him lightly, and he felt his mood brighten considerably. He couldn't be angry at anything when he was reminded of the perfect woman beside him and her place in his heart. "At least we're together."_

_He squeezed her hand. "There is that."_

_She glanced around the crowded seating area to determine if they had any eavesdroppers, and then she leaned close, a conspiratorial grin across her face. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "And if we lose out on our last day off to celebrate at home, we'll just have to celebrate on the plane..."_

_He laughed out loud before he could help it, not having expected her words. A few weary passengers glanced towards them, but none for any length of time. He raised an eyebrow towards his smirking wife. "And what kind of celebrating do you have in mind, Mrs. Shepherd?"_

_She played it coy, shrugging nonchalantly. "Whatever kind we could accomplish on an airplane, I guess."_

_He bit back a second laugh and happily pulled her warm body closer to his, inhaling the lavender still wafting from her hair from their joint shower that morning. And when their flight had been called to board a half hour later, he had almost been disappointed._

"Three days ago?" Henry shook his head. "No honeymoon? When my wife and I got married, she demanded we go away for at least two weeks."

"We can't get anymore time off for a while," Meredith explained. "The hospital keeps us pretty busy."

"Of course, I guess that's the downside to being a doctor. When will you get a chance?"

Meredith glanced towards him, and Derek found himself shrugging. "We're not too sure," he answered for them. "Definitely not for a few months at least. But then we get close to Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years... So, it may very well have to wait until next year."

"That's too bad."

Derek nodded, but couldn't find the emotion to really feel all that sad about it; not with his wife of three days tucked in so close to him.

He could still see a perfect mental picture of her, eyes shining with tears, as she said 'I do' without the smallest hint of uncertainty in her tone. He had done it. He had broken through all of her walls. He had proved to her he was worth trusting again. And she did trust him, implicitly. And she loved him, just as much as he loved her. And forever was in front of them now.

Any bumps or roadblocks that presented themselves in their future would be things they could handle together, things they _would_ handle together.

000

There was a spring in her step as she walked through the front doors of the hospital for the first time in almost two weeks. It was the longest she had been away from the building since her very first shift nearly two years ago. But even though it was early and the weather was dreary, she couldn't wipe the smile from her face.

Stopping to order a coffee from the cart near the front doors, she glanced at her watch and was happy to see she still had plenty of time. It was a little after seven and her shift didn't start until eight, which gave her plenty of time to take care of the paperwork to have her name changed at the hospital. Derek had had an early surgery scheduled and had driven in half an hour before her. She was on call that night, so they had taken separate cars. After nearly two weeks off, it was a little disconcerting to be thrust back into the 'real world' so quickly. And if she was completely honest with herself, it was a little disconcerting that she had only been separated from Derek for an hour and she already missed him.

After receiving her much needed large coffee, she headed up to her locker room to change into her scrubs. There was a note from the Chief telling her Patricia had the paperwork ready at her desk. And under the note, was her lab coat, crisp and white and neatly folded.

Furrowing her brow, Meredith pulled it out and, holding on to the collar, let it fall open before her. She wondered briefly if all of the resident's coats had been sent to be cleaned while she had been away.

However, the second her eyes fell on the special new detail gracing the pristine white of the coat her eyes stung as she struggled to hold back tears.

_Dr. Meredith Shepherd, MD._

Someone had already had the name changed for her. It hadn't even crossed her mind. She breathed deep as she ran her fingers over the new stitching; you couldn't even tell that another word had graced the fine, white material over the pocket at any time. Grey was disappearing into the background and she was moving forward, part of a new family. A real family.

The door swung open behind her and she swallowed hard, quelling her emotions as she turned to greet whichever resident was invading her quiet, surprisingly emotional, state.

Callie Torres greeted her with a short smile, her eyes tired and face haggard. She stumbled towards her cubby with exhaustion evident in every step.

"Hey," Meredith returned her smile with a sympathetic one. "Tough night on call?"

"Oh, yeah, it was non-stop," the older resident responded, her voice low and weak. "But now I get to go home and sleep." She pulled out her street clothes from her cubby.

"Lucky you."

"Says the girl who is just getting back after, what, two weeks off?" There was mock-irritation in her tone as she teased. Other than Callie's propensity to wear far too little clothes at times and pee naked in front of her, Meredith hadn't ever taken issue with her or her relationship with George. And she had been surprised to hear about the destruction of their marriage so quickly after their wedding, not to mention the reason behind it.

Meredith laughed. "A week and a half," she corrected lightly.

"Whatever, it was still time away from this place." She yawned. "God, I feel like I could sleep for a week and a half," she complained, staring temptingly towards the couch lining the wall across the room, as if she debated sleeping on it instead of going home.

"Hey, I've been there."

"The joys of being a surgeon, huh?"

Meredith nodded with a small laugh. "Exactly."

Callie pulled her attention from the couch and began gathering her personal items out of her cubby. "You and Shepherd went to New York, right?"

Meredith nodded. "Yeah, he grew up there. His mother still lives in the house, and all of his sisters are still in the state."

"Ah, so you spent time getting to know the future in-laws?"

She was taken aback by Callie's simple, supposed-to-be-teasing comment. In a hospital where no one could keep a secret for very long at all, it surprised her that her and Derek's nuptials, which weren't meant to be a secret, apparently hadn't made it to Callie's ears. She paused and wondered who else hadn't heard the news. She had expected to be accosted by well-wishers the second she stepped foot in the hospital that morning; nothing else that had happened to her in the past two years had ever stayed secret.

Callie, however, took her silence the wrong way. "Please don't tell me you two broke up again?"

"Again? That's not... There was only ever the one break up. And one...delay getting back together...and then one...awkward week or two..." She shook her head. "There's no _again_."

"Still...you guys have a history. So, please tell me you're still moving in the right direction? Because someone in this hospital needs to have a happy ending."

She sighed at the heavy tone in Callie's voice, and treaded carefully. "Actually, Derek's family aren't my future in-laws, they're my current in-laws."

Callie furrowed her brow. "But..."

"Derek and I got married on Saturday, out in New York."

"What?" Callie seemed pleasantly surprised. "I didn't know that. Congratulations."

Meredith couldn't help the smile that took over her lips. "Thanks, Callie."

"God, you did an excellent job keeping it secret from the hospital. I haven't even heard rumours about it or anything."

"We never meant to keep it a secret..." Meredith shook her head. "I mean, we didn't plan to get married last week. But we got there and decided, and then put it together in a week..." She shrugged. "The chief knew. And he and Bailey and my friends flew out... I never thought it wouldn't be common knowledge. Everything else I've done in two years has been common knowledge."

Callie nodded. "That's true." She yawned. "Well, congrats again, and tell Dr. Shepherd congrats for me, but I have to go home and get some sleep."

"Thanks. And have fun sleeping."

The door swung shut behind the older resident and Meredith found herself alone once again. She sighed, unsure how she felt about having inadvertently, but effectively, kept a secret from the hospital gossip line. It meant she wouldn't have to deal with the stares and whispers all at once. But it also meant a lot of explanations like the one she had just given.

She gripped onto her coat, once again running her fingers over the newly stitched name.

"Shepherd..." She whispered to herself.

And then she smiled, wondering if Derek had realized their position yet.

000

Derek had, in fact, realized their unique position of surprising the hospital staff within minutes of entering the hospital. After changing into his scrubs, he had stopped by the nurses' station and requested his patient's chart.

He had scheduled the surgery three weeks before; a tumour resection. The tumour was benign, but causing problems, so it had to come out. It was a straight-forward procedure; Derek just wanted to review the chart and history before he headed for the patient's room.

He was engrossed in reading his own notes and missed the small gasp from the nurse manning the station. However, when a second nurse joined her and the two began speaking in hushed tones, Derek lifted his eyes in curiosity. He prided himself on not spreading gossip, but that didn't mean he wasn't interested in hearing it.

The younger floor nurse, Linda he was pretty sure to be her name, blushed at having been caught and averted her eyes. The older nurse, who Derek knew for certain to be Michelle, offered him a gentle smile. She motioned towards his left hand, resting atop his chart on the counter in plain view. "Dr. Shepherd, did you and Dr. Grey get married?"

He felt a smile tugging at his lips and nodded. "We did."

Michelle's smile widened. "Congratulations. There was a bet among the OR nurses as to when you two would finally tie the knot."

He chuckled. "I'm sure there was. Who won?"

She shook her head. "I have no idea. I hadn't even heard that you'd set a date."

"Hmm..." He shrugged, not going on to explain their late decision. "Richard knows, so I'm surprised it's not common knowledge by now."

Michelle paused, her expression betraying her surprise that Derek would speak about the Chief so casually, as Derek hadn't referred to him without anger in his tone for months. "Maybe it is, and I just hadn't heard," she offered neutrally.

Derek nodded, accepting her answer even though he knew it hadn't made the rounds. The nurses' stations were hot beds for gossip. If Michelle hadn't known, it hadn't made the rounds yet. "Well, I should get to my patient..."

000

Decked out in her updated lab coat and new ID tag, Meredith made her way down from Richard's office to meet her interns at their locker room. The Chief had been in surgery, but Patricia had had all of the necessary forms prepared for her to sign and her new ID tag ready. She had also let it slip that Richard had had her lab coat rushed to be updated for her first day back as a wedding present.

She smiled and nodded greetings to the hospital staff she recognized as she wandered the halls. They all returned her greetings without a second glance. Word still hadn't spread, and they weren't apt to stop and read her coat or ID. It was almost exciting; to knowingly have such a secret from the gossip-mongers. And she vaguely wondered if Nurse Debbie was in today. If she was, Meredith knew the news would spread like wildfire if the woman got a hold of it.

Her interns were waiting when she arrived on the main floor. George offered her a smile as he leaned back against the desk behind him. She glanced at her watch as she approached. It was eight on the dot; she was right on time. "You guys were here early," she greeted. "Have you been studying while I was away?" Their test was in a week.

They responded with a series of affirmative responses. Myers, Bradshaw and Harold she was unsure of, but she knew George had spent at least the plane ride to New York with a textbook in his lap. And Meredith, Izzy, Alex and Cristina had all quizzed him at some point over the days they were in New York. He wasn't going to fail again.

"Good. Now, I want all of you working in the pit and the clinic today..."

They groaned and exchanged glances.

"I know that it sounds boring, but it's important you take advantage of all the down time you can to prepare for your test. So, help the patients that need you, and spend the rest of the time absorbing all the knowledge you can. Trust me; you'll be thanking me when you pass your test in a week."

"Who do you want where?" Myers asked.

"I'm going to be nice and let you decide. Two and two, and switch at lunch. If a trauma comes in and the attending or resident invites you to scrub in I'm not going to stop you, but I am advising you to remember you have a career altering test in a week. Okay?"

They agreed, albeit reluctantly.

"And Myers, if Sloan tries to steal you for the day..." She trailed off with a laugh. "Well, we both know there's nothing either of us can do about it. Just hide if you see him."

Myers laughed. "Of course, Dr. Grey."

She hesitated at his address, suddenly self-conscious of the fact that she would have to correct people now if they called her Dr. Grey. Outside of the hospital, it wasn't a problem, but at work... "Actually, it's...uh..." she stuttered, wondering how to do this without sounding harsh and without gaining judgment for having changed her name completely. She was happy with her choice, but she wasn't looking forward to the disdainful glances she knew she would get from some.

George came to her aid. "It's Dr. Shepherd now," he told his fellow interns.

"What?" Myers asked. Harold and Bradshaw looked on with sudden interest.

"The other Dr. Shepherd and I got married last weekend," she stated, hoping she sounded professional. "And I'm changing my name...have changed my name."

"Aren't you related to Ellis Grey?" Dr. Harold asked, her voice wistful.

"She was my mother."

"Why would you want to hide that?"

"I...uh..." She stumbled, but was saved once more.

"It's not your place to question your resident's personal decisions," a harsh voice stated from behind her.

Dr. Harold immediately shut herself up and Meredith motioned for them all to head for their assigned jobs for the day.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Bailey," Meredith said as she turned to meet her Chief Resident. "I was...it was the first time I had to...I didn't realize..." She sighed. "I'm sorry. I wasn't prepared to have to correct everyone. It threw me off, but it won't happen again."

"Make sure it doesn't," Bailey responded, and then her expression softened. "I'm glad to see you back at work, though I hadn't realized you were changing your name until the Chief gave me a heads up yesterday."

Meredith hesitated, uncertain if that was a statement or if Bailey was looking for an explanation. "Yeah," she said carefully, deciding she was allowed to explain to a superior. "I wanted space from my mother and...Thatcher. And..." she trailed off before continuing with a softer voice. "I really want to be a Shepherd, and I don't want anything keeping me distant from that family."

To her surprise, Miranda offered her a proud smile. "Good for you. The Shepherd's seemed liked wonderful people."

"They really are," Meredith said truthfully. She didn't think she could have handled doing the family thing with Derek if they had been unwelcoming to her. It made such a difference that she was accepted so readily.

"I'm glad. You deserve some happiness after everything you've been through."

Meredith was taken aback by her mentor's words. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Meredith. And you're lucky," she added with an uncharacteristic smirk. "Carol seemed very taken by you. _My_ mother-in-law can be quite the stubborn witch when she wants to be."

Meredith had to fight to control her surprise. She hadn't heard Bailey refer to anyone like that before. "Oh...I...don't really know what to say to that..."

"Just be grateful."

"Oh, I definitely am that."

"Good." Bailey paused and her casual, friendly expression morphed back into fully professional. "Are you on the board yet today?"

Meredith shook her head.

"Then why don't you scrub in with me this morning. I have a car accident victim from last night, and I could use an extra set of hands."

"Of course, Dr. Bailey."

Her mentor regarded her for a moment before the very corner of her mouth twitched upwards. "Well, come along then, Dr. _Shepherd_."

The manic smile that had plagued Meredith twice in the past year reared it upbeat, euphoric head. She was thankful when Bailey didn't comment, and simply turned to lead the way down the hall to their patient's room. Meredith followed behind, struggling to contain her emotion and avoiding eye contact with the hospital staff throwing her questions glances when she was unsuccessful.

000

Hours later Meredith was still smiling. As the news of their marriage spread throughout the hospital, she found herself being congratulated left, right and center, effectively reminding her again and again her reason for smiling. The only time she had had a lull had been during surgery; and even then she had been grateful for the sterile masking covering her face.

She had smiled all the way through the operation.

Her face was getting sore, but she just. Couldn't. Stop. Smiling.

When she and her Chief Resident had entered their patient's room, Bailey has easily introduced her as Dr. Shepherd. And the man hadn't hesitated to call her by that name.

_"Hello, again, Mr. Sanders. We'll be wheeling you to pre-op any minute. This is Dr. Shepherd; she'll be assisting me."_

_The middle-aged, light haired man had met her eyes from the hospital bed and nodded, even going so far as to reach out a shaky hand. "Nice to meet you."_

_"You too, Mr. Sanders." She shook his hand and took in his tense face. "Are you in much pain? Or just nervous?"_

_He offered her a small smile. "A little of both, I suppose. I've never been a fan of going under the knife, but Dr. Bailey here insists it's for the best."_

_Meredith exchanged a glance with her mentor and then nodded at their patient. "If Dr. Bailey says it's for the best, then it's for the best. Try not to worry too much, Mr. Sanders, we're good at what we do here."_

_He nodded and seemed to breathe a little easier. "Thank-you, Dr. Shepherd."_

Meredith could still remember the way her breath had caught in her throat at his words. _Dr. Shepherd._ He was the very first person to address her by her new name. Well, the first person other than her new husband, who had made good use of the name already. He had used it at every opportunity; saying it over and over, as if he, too, couldn't hear it enough times; even if he was hearing it from his own mouth.

Sighing happily to herself, Meredith wandered into the cafeteria. It was late for lunch, but she had been stuck in surgery longer than expected, and she hoped there would still be something edible left to choose from.

Meredith stepped into the small line, debating whether to get fires or a sandwich, and didn't hear the doctor who now shared her name step into line behind her.

"Can I buy you lunch, doctor?"

Meredith turned to meet the sparkling blue eyes of her husband. "I'm not sure if that would be appropriate, Dr. Shepherd."

He smirked and sidled closer to her, almost but not touching her. She could feel his hot breath against her neck. "That's never stopped you before..."

Meredith felt her knees weakening at the look in his eyes and the closeness of his body, but she stood her ground. "Things change."

He raised an eyebrow. "What kind of things?"

She smirked. "I'm a married woman now." She lifted her left hand to flash him the set of rings she now wore together on her finger. "I'm sorry, but I have to draw a line now..."

She watched him fight to maintain a straight face at her words. "So this line... Do I need to get you a marker, or is it imaginary like last time?"

"It wasn't imaginary last time."

He smirked. "Imaginary enough that you jumped me. In an elevator."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "You and your elevators."

Derek shook his head. "No; us and _our_ elevators."

"Whatever," she responded dryly, biting back a smile.

Her handsome, dreamy new husband smiled and leaned in to kiss her, but she held a hand to his chest, stopping his lips only a few inches from hers. "Lines," she reminded him. "I doubt my new _husband_ would approve..."

His lips parted at her words, a laughing breath escaping and hitting her face. "I think he'd be okay with this; in fact, I'm certain of it."

She opened her mouth to retort, but any words were cut off as his lips came down on hers, and any semblance of thought disappeared immediately after. It was several moments before she realized they were still standing in the cafeteria, waiting in line to order lunch. They couldn't do this here.

"You know what," she said as she pulled away, "I think you're right. My husband would be okay with that."

His lips curled upwards at her words. "Admitting that I'm right, huh, Dr. Shepherd?"

Meredith cringed inwardly as she realized her mistake. "No...I..."

He pecked her lips quickly and hooked an arm around her waist as he settled beside her in line. "It's okay to be wrong some times, Dr. Shepherd."

"I wasn't _wrong..._" She said meekly.

He laughed. "I told you that you had to let me be right once in a while."

She huffed. "That's all you get then, until our first anniversary at least."

He pressed his lips against the side of her head. "I can live with that, as long as I have you."

Her lips curled upwards at his warm words. "Well, you have me." She smirked. "And I still love you more."

His arm tightened almost imperceptibly around her waist, but he ignored her second statement. "So, are you up to having lunch with your husband?"

The word still gave her goose bumps. She had a husband. Leaning against his strong frame, Meredith sighed happily. "Only every day for the rest of my life."

_**AN: So this was the last chapter, save for the epilogue, which should be up by the end of the week. And yes, I am planning a second sequel, tentatively titled 'Here We Are' (I seem to be stuck on a 'Here' theme...lol). However, I won't be able to start writing for some time, so don't expect anything sooner than late summer/fall. I need to focus on Where You Belong and school for a while. BTW, for those who have also been reading WYB, I'm so sorry for such a long break between chapters, but I will get back to writing and posting ASAP. Thanks for sticking with me through both fics. **_

_**Also, for anyone who has an opinion about Mark, I'm looking for some feedback. I've set him up as starting to want to settle down. And I've made him Derek's best friend, so he's going to be a part of the story as I take Mer and Derek further into their life together. I'm not saying he's going to play a main role, but will continue as he has been in WIHF and SH. So, he's going to need a woman. Lol. I had an OC in my mind for him, which I still think would work well. I also like the idea of having him with Addy. I'm torn between starting from scratch with this new character, and bringing Addy back to Seattle. I have several issues with both, so if anyone reading has a strong opinion either way and wouldn't mind me bouncing a few ideas off you this summer, I'd appreciate it!**_

_**Thanks for reading!**_


	12. EPILOGUE

**EPILOGUE**

'_In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.'_

_-- Shing Xiong_

**- The next Tuesday -**

Ten days.

It had been ten days since she had said 'I do.' Ten days since she had vowed to spend the rest of her life with him; vowed to love him forever, no matter what. Ten days since she had gotten everything she had been too afraid to hope for her whole life.

It had been ten days since the second half of her life began.

And Meredith had never been happier.

The added weight on her finger still caught her attention from time to time. Her new name still caught her by surprise on occasion. And their new terms for each other – husband! wife! - still gave her goose-bumps. But all in all, life was beginning to settle down once more, and Meredith found she and Derek were falling back into their normal routine. Derek had, annoyingly, been right again; getting married hadn't changed much.

They were still spending most of their nights in their apartment in town. They commuted together when their shifts matched up, and drove in alone when they did not. They caught moments together in the halls when they found time, and ate together in the cafeteria. Things were quiet and calm and routine and...

Wonderful.

The only real difference Meredith found in having gotten married was the feeling in her chest and the refuge of knowing just how committed they were to each other. And that coupled with the daily routine they were slowly falling into left Meredith feeling more secure than she had ever felt before. She wasn't evening waiting for the first shoe to drop anymore. She was married to the love of her life. They were building a house together. Their day-to-day life included one another. They had a future together.

Any emergencies or dramas that would certainly come up in that future would be overcome-able. And in the mean time, she was enjoying the quiet and new sense of calm in her life. She had a wonderful husband. In only a few days she would be a third year resident. And in a few short months, she and Derek would have their dream home.

Life was good.

It had been ten days.

Ten wonderful days.

Meredith smiled as she pushed open the door to the resident locker room, having finished for the day. It was relatively early, and she and Derek had already discussed grabbing dinner at their favourite Italian restaurant. He had finished with his patients an hour ago and was in his office catching up on paperwork. She had already paged him to let him know she was done for the day.

She pulled open the door to her cubby and smiled at the picture that greeted her from the back wall. She hadn't been aware that they still had the attention of at least one camera when the sisters had been arguing with the photo team after the wedding ceremony. But they had, and her and Derek's first few minutes of 'privacy' as husband and wife had been recorded.

A registered packaged had shown up at their door two days before, full of photos from their wedding. A note from Carol had confirmed that she had already framed one for the wedding wall in her living room. And Derek hadn't wasted any time to take at least two for his office and one for his wallet. Meredith had hesitated before choosing one for her cubby. It wasn't like she had a desk to put a frame on, or a wall to hang one for that matter. But this particular photo had caught her attention and demanded to be taken to her cubby.

His arms were wrapped around her waist, his hands keeping her steady at the small of her back as she leaned back, trusting him to hold her. Her hands were hooked loosely around his neck, playing with the scruffs of hairs at the base of his head. She was smiling up at him, happy and content and safe in his strong arms. But his expression said it all. The McDreamy look was there, but there was something else added into the mix. His eyes sparkled and his lips were turned up. He looked reverent and loving and completely devoted.

And there wasn't a doubt in her mind that he really felt _that way_ about her. She was the love of his life too.

So, she had brought the small photograph to work to hang in the back of her cubby. And one day she would have an office and it would sit on her desk.

There would be good days and bad days. On the good days, this photograph would make her smile at the memory of that day. And on bad days it would serve a more important purpose; it would serve to remind her that someone felt _that way_ about her, that _Derek_ felt that way about her. And that she could trust him to be there for her, that he would support her and hold her up when she needed.

The door opened behind her and she turned to meet familiar blue eyes.

"Hey," he greeted cheerfully. "How was the rest of your day?" They hadn't seen each other since lunch.

"Hey," she replied, leaning in to kiss him softly as he came close, her hand falling against his chest. "It was good. You?"

He nodded. "Good. Quiet."

"That's good." She offered him a smile. "I just need to get changed, and then we can go."

He smirked. "Do I get to watch?"

She snorted. "If I said no, would you leave?"

He shrugged. "Hard to say..."

Meredith laughed and couldn't resist leaning in for another kiss.

He settled himself on the bench when she turned to her cubby for her street clothes, making it clear he wasn't apt to leave. Not that she had expected him to, or even particularly wanted him to. She made quick work of shedding her light blue scrubs and donning the jeans and tee she had come in wearing that morning.

And when she turned back to him, he was smiling at her just the way he had been doing when the picture had been taken. She felt her heart melt in her chest.

His eye narrowed at her reaction. "What?"

She swallowed hard and shook her head. "Nothing."

His head tilted just so. "You sure, cause it looks like something?"

She smiled warmly. "It is something," she relented. "Something really big," she whispered to herself.

He furrowed his brow.

She shook her head and pulled him upwards before wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm so happy, Derek, and I love you so much."

His strong arms closed around her small frame. "I love you too," he mumbled into her shoulder.

Meredith breathed deeply, inhaling the scent that was uniquely his. Then she sighed and leaned back in his arms, meeting his loving gaze with a bright smile. "Ten days."

He nodded. "Ten days."

"What if we hadn't gone for it?" She asked. "I mean, how different would things be?"

Derek shrugged, his arms tightening around her. "Well, we'd still be living together, in the same apartment. The house would still be in the same stages. I'd still be convincing you to let me take you out tonight..."

She laughed at his playful tone. "Convincing me, huh?"

He nodded. "You can be very resistant when you want to be."

"Resistant?"

"Mmm-hmm. Look how long it took me to convince you to go out with me?"

Meredith bit back a laugh and rolled her eyes. "That was two years ago."

"Still..."

She fought the urge to roll her eyes for a second time. "You don't ever give up, do you?"

"I do what works for me."

She clicked her tongue and swatted at his chest.

Derek chuckled and pulled her closer, leaning in to peck her lips. "I don't ever give up," he said, repeating her words, "But do you know what?"

Meredith pursed her lips and shook her head. "What?"

He tilted his head just so and smiled lovingly at her, his deep blue eyes sparkling. "It was never about the chase."

She laughed aloud before she could help it. "But I thought it was fun?"

"It was fun," he admitted, "But this is better."

"Yeah?"

He nodded and kissed her again. "Yeah." He sighed and met her eyes, his offering a window into the intensity of his happiness and his feelings for her. Meredith felt herself melting under his gaze. "I just... I've never been so happy, Mer. Never. We're back at our apartment and back at work, just like before, but everything still feels different."

"See, I told you that you were wrong about that," she reminded him playfully. "You said it wouldn't change anything, but it changed-"

"Everything."

She smiled. "Exactly."

He smiled back. "I like it."

"I like it more."

He rolled his eyes. "Everything has to be a competition..."

"Get used to it, buster, cause you're stuck with me."

**The End.**

**Look for the second sequel 'Here We Are' in late summer/fall.**

_**AN: Huge thanks to everyone who has been reading and leaving such wonderful feedback! **_

_**To the person who reviewed the last chapter and offered to let me bounce some ideas off of you, thanks so much, but you didn't sign in, so I don't have any way of contacting you. Lol. **_

_**Thanks for reading!**_


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